Well, this got long...
So this is it, the conclusion to this story. In some ways, it was the hardest thing I've written. I apologize in advance for any glaring grammatical errors. This is pretty heavily dialogue based, and I'm not entirely sure that the conversation between Mary Margaret and Emma feels right, but overall, I'm very happy with the results. I hope you are too. And I want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed, and an especially big thank you to TutorGirlml for you continuously fantastic comments!
Also, for those who are interested, I am on tumblr under the name imapuppy79 and you are more than welcome to come talk to me there as well as here.
And now... the end.
CHAPTER 12
He was gone. It was time to let him go. And it was time to tell him everything. She sighed deeply, her fingers running through his cold, sweat-damped locks, and cradling his stubble-rough cheek. "I've loved you for so long, Killian, even when I didn't want to, I loved you. I tried so hard not to, but I couldn't help it. You showed me what true love could be like, and I know now, that no matter how much it might hurt, I don't want to run from it anymore."
Emma took one last look at his face, his beautiful face, trying to etch it deeply into her memories, before leaning down and placing her lips on top of his. Then, she pressed them together and whispered, "I will always love you."
And beneath her, Killian stirred.
She jerked back, blood pounding in her ears.
Had she just imagined it? Her eyes drilled holes into the darkness, trying to see if he did indeed move. It was almost too much. Almost too hard.
And then his eyes fluttered and his chest rose. And before she could even utter a surprised syllable, she heard him say, "Do you mind repeating that, darling? I didn't quite hear you."
Her cheeks flushed in sudden fury. That arrogant, cocky son of a—
But her lips were curling upward against her will, realizing that he was doing what he always did—trying to get her to smile so that she wouldn't feel overwhelmed by her emotions, taking a moment that was scary and big and turning it around so that it was no big deal instead. How had she ever gotten so lucky? What had she ever done to deserve someone like him who could read her so well, who's only thoughts were for her and her happiness? She owed him so much, she owed him the truth, but instead she heard herself bantering back, slipping into that safe, easy place he had created. "Well, they do saying hearing's the first to go when you get older. And with your advanced age…"
She was suddenly engulfed in a pair of strong arms, pulling her down into his chest, while all she could see was his eyes twinkling sapphire blue in amusement. "Swan…" he moaned, while her whole body shuddered against his, as if still not believing this wasn't just some sort of vivid hallucination, "…just shut up and kiss me again," and she eagerly complied, her mouth attacking his in a heated kiss, not even aware that they had an audience. He licked the seam of her lips, teasing her mouth open, and suckled her tongue as she pressed harder into him, forgetting about everything else but the heat he was causing inside her. A tiny moan escaped her, and he chuckled lightly in response, breaking the revelry.
Killian pulled back slightly, giving them both time to breathe, but the intensity in his eyes stole her breath anyway. She could see how much he loved her in every shade of blue, she could read every thought he possessed and for a second, she forgot all her fears, all her worries, and just melted into the warm pool of his gaze.
"Emma," he began, a fiery conviction flaring to life inside him. "I lo…Oof!" He said suddenly as a small brown-haired body barreled right into his chest, knocking the air from his lungs. "Henry? Everything alright, lad?" He said uncertainly, as the boy's arms circled him even tighter.
Their romantic moment completely overthrown, Emma pulled back from Killian so that she could see what was happening. Her son was clinging to Killian's chest, embracing him tightly, but not yet saying a word. Killian looked to her with a completely bewildered expression, just as taken aback by her son's actions as she was. Emma shrugged and watched Henry, also noticing her parent's reactions. They wore identical shocked expressions, but her mother had that 'how adorable' look in her eyes she got when things started to go in mushy sort of direction. Belle and Will had already stood up and scooted farther away, merely watching with interest. Oddly enough, Regina was the only one who didn't look surprised by Henry's attack hug. Emma looked her in the eye and whispered, "What's that about?"
Before Regina could answer, though, Henry sat up, his face now flushed red with embarrassment. "Sorry. I didn't mean to, um, interrupt," his eyes darted sheepishly towards Emma, then away.
Killian sat himself up on his elbows, his brow furrowing in confusion still. "No need to apologize, lad. 'S quite alright."
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Henry asked, a deep thread of fear lacing his words as he stared at the now-healed place where the dagger had been.
"Nay, lad. A little scrapper such as you couldn't hurt me if you tried, though I must say, you are quite a bit stronger than I had pegged you for," Killian teased, his eyes lighting up with joy.
Henry's own eyes began to lose their haunted look as Killian smirked at him. In a quiet voice, he added sincerely, "I'm really glad you're okay, Killian."
"Aye, Henry. I knew your mother would come through. She always does." He emphasized the last bit with a wink directed at her, and her heart constricted in her chest.
She blinked backed a sudden wetness that flooded her eyes as the panic began to set in, because this time, he very nearly didn't make it. And it hadn't been her that brought him back. It had taken a magical intervention of the highest sort. And yet, he was still looking upon her with that totally awed and proud expression of his. She didn't know whether to be angry or sad or thankful or happy. All of her emotions suddenly just jumbled around and her old instincts began kicking in.
Then her son was wrapping himself around her, and the fears subsided momentarily with his warm embrace. "I'm glad you're you again, mom. I'm glad you're not evil anymore."
Her chest ached with the memories of what she had done, but here was her son, holding on, needing her reassurance that she was okay. "I am too, kid. I am too. And I am so very sorry that I was mean to you. You are never, ever an annoyance. You are perfect, kiddo. And I am so glad you're you, too."
He squeezed tighter at her words and she could feel the tension leaving his shoulders as she ran her fingers through her son's hair. Whether he admitted to it or not, he was worried that he wasn't good enough for her, and she was glad she had managed to say the right thing to set his fears to rest, even if her own would take a lot more to get over. "Thanks, mom," Henry replied, somewhat muffled in her clothing. "
She caught a glimpse of Regina watching the two of them with a cautious glance. It was then that she remembered all that Regina had done, the sacrifice she had made to keep Snow safe, to keep Henry safe. And the guilt welled up inside her again. "Um, Henry, can you give me a minute? I need to speak to Regina."
"Yeah, sure thing," Henry conceded easily, already bouncing back to his normal optimistic self. God, her kid was amazingly strong. Who the hell had he gotten that from?
Emma planted a kiss to his head and Henry hurried off, excitedly chatting with Belle and Will about something he called 'Operation Lighthouse,' and she gave Killian and her parents a slight 'just give me a minute' glance before standing up and joining Regina near the broken clock window.
"Regina," she began, with a nervous chuckle, "I guess you probably want your heart back."
Regina merely rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Why? Whatever gave you the impression that I might want it back? It's only my heart."
Emma groaned inwardly, but waved her hand in the air, producing Regina's brightly red heart from nothing. She held it out as an offering and the former queen stared at it for a moment before snatching it back. "Well," Regina scoffed, "At least you didn't scratch it up. Unlike my house. Which is in shambles."
"Regina," Emma sighed, "I am really, really sorry for what I did. But you…you were amazing! You were the real hero today."
The other lady merely nodded and looked out over the town without a word, still clutching her own heart in her hands as if somewhat reluctant to put it back. An awkward silence filled the space as they both observed the townspeople below cleaning up after the storm. "I expect to see you first thing tomorrow to help clean up the mess you caused," was the only reply Regina gave.
Emma nodded reluctantly, knowing this was Regina's way of acknowledging that she didn't hold Emma responsible and her actions were forgiven. Sometimes, Emma and Regina were a bit too similar in that regard.
"Bright and early," Emma promised easily, and walked back to her parents, who were busy helping Killian to his feet.
She paused a moment to watch as Killian and David eyed at each other awkwardly and Killian mumbled something that required him to scratch behind his ear and then fumble with his hook. David only motioned to a purplish bruise on his cheek and gave him an unconvincing glare before he too mumbled something back and then both of them began grinning like idiots. Emma was certain there was something she had missed, but whatever that whole exchange was about, she was glad it was so easily resolved.
If only everything was so easily fixed.
She smiled uneasily at her mother and gestured that they should all probably think about getting home instead of spending the night in a drafty clock tower. Mary Margaret nodded back and touched David's arm, whispering to him. He looked over at Emma and smiled, wrapping an arm around his wife, and clapping Killian on the shoulder. Killian then glanced over to Emma before stepping aside to have a word with Henry, who had been trying to catch his attention.
Approaching her parents, Emma felt as nervous as a shamed puppy. Would they hate her for what she did? What she had said? Would they call her a monster and turn her out? What if they gave her that look again, like they did when she killed the Chernabog? The one that said she had failed them. What if…
"Emma, are you alright?" Mary Margaret asked, suddenly appearing at her side. How had she managed to get so close without her knowledge?
Emma looked at her mother's face and saw none of the things she had been worrying about in her eyes. She saw only genuine concern there. But things were not alright, not by a long shot. "No," she answered honestly. "I'm not. But I don't know if I can talk about it right now."
Carefully, Mary Margaret placed her hand on Emma's arm and began to run her thumb in a small circle. "That's just fine. I know there's a lot we need to talk about, but you don't have to say anything until you're ready." She gave Emma a half-smile and the green in her eyes warmed to a rich vermillion.
David came up to her next and had no such reservations about keeping his distance. He immediately threw his arms around Emma and hugged her tightly to his broad chest. Emma couldn't help but smile at the feeling of being engulfed in her father's arms. "Thanks," she mumbled.
"Emma," he replied, letting her back her free herself from his arms slowly, "you are my daughter. I love you, and I am glad you are safe. That is all that matters to me." He shoved one hand in his coat and the other his slung around his wife's shoulders, as though he hadn't a care in the world. "Are you coming back to the loft with us?" His eyes quickly flashed in Killian's direction before settling back on her.
Refusing to follow where her father's eyes lead, Emma nodded. "Yeah. I am."
"Good," he grinned, and Mary Margaret sighed at her daughter's obviousness a little too knowingly, but a relieved smile grew across her face as well.
Emma still refused to acknowledge Killian's presence, but she could sense him approaching, even from behind, the little hairs on her arms and neck standing up. He had clearly just been waiting for his chance to talk, standing apart from the group until she was ready, but she turned to go with her parents before he could interfere. Nevertheless, he caught her with a light pull on her arm with his hook. "Swan? A word?"
Her stomach tightened at his words, as the nerves she felt before returned. She pleaded with her mother silently to stay, to give her an excuse, but Snow shook her head and set her jaw. Then she gathered David up and purposefully walked away to talk to Henry and Regina, leaving Emma alone with the man whom she really didn't want to deal with right now. Damn her.
"Killian, I don't think this is a good time," she began, but his eyes filled with both sadness and an awful sense of understanding and suddenly, her guilty conscious simply wouldn't let her continue that well-worn path where she kept breaking his heart in order to save her own. Not this time. Not after everything he had done. She owed him more than that. Still, she wasn't yet brave enough for what she knew he was asking. Instead, she decided to meet him halfway. "I'm not…running away. It's just, I've hurt my parents-"
"Swan-" he began.
But she continued on, ignoring his eye roll at her, "—and there is a lot of stuff we have to work out. And I promised Regina that I'd help. And I owe Henry some time, and…"
"Swan-"
"And I damaged the town. And I just need to deal with that stuff first. But I want to talk with you. I do. I-"
He twisted her arm with his hook, bringing it up so that she swayed closer to him, rather than farther. "Emma, love, you don't have to explain."
"I…I don't?" She blinked up at him dumbly.
He grinned softly. "No, love. I understand completely. You need time to deal with all of this. And of course you need to clear the air with your parents. Besides, I have my own amends to make," his eyes darted quickly over to Belle and back, before he let out a deep sigh. It was all she could do not to wrap him in a hug and kiss him senseless. "So, when you're ready, I'll be here."
Damn him, how did he always do that? How did he always know just what to say to make her feel better? How was it possible to fall even deeper in love with him? And to think that she had almost lost that…
A violent shiver ran through her body, and he raised that stupid eyebrow of his in reaction. "Cold, love?"
"No, I'm fine," she answered automatically, while hugging her arms over her chest. He gave her a skeptical look, but didn't press the issue. "So, I'll see you later then?"
"Aye love. You know where to find me," he teased, trying to get a reaction from her.
She started to smile up at him, she wanted to smile back, but she was still processing everything that had happened, and all she could offer him was a slight nod. She couldn't even look him in the eye.
It didn't seem to deter him, though. Again, sensing what she needed before she even did, he drew her close, hugging her into his warmth and placing a soft kiss to her hair. There were no words spoken between them, but as time went on, she felt herself begin to relax into the steady pressure of his arms.
As she melted, though, her fears came howling back at her. She had almost lost this. Forever.
Swallowing hard, she pulled away, and he let her go. Unable to see that horrible pained look darkening his crystal blue eyes, she turned her head, tracking the procession of her family down the stairs. She took a step in their direction, but before she could turn to run from the rush of her emotions, she heard him, clear as day, sigh loudly and say, "I love you too." Only she knew with certainty that he hadn't said it out loud, that no vocalization had come from his mouth to her ears. No, what she had heard was that same direct linking of their deepest thoughts straight from one soul to its true mate. The soul bond.
Without a choked sob, she fled from the thought, running after her family as if the devil was on her heels.
….
Her parents were busy fussing over Neal, trying to get him to sleep by the time she made it back to the loft. She had taken a brief detour down to the waterfront in order to psyche herself up for all that was to come and to try to push down any and all thoughts about Killian and what had happened between them. Henry was already passed out on the couch, a plate of half-eaten cookies and an empty mug of cocoa on the coffee table in front of him. No doubt her mother had decided that Henry needed some comfort food.
Emma sighed, but her heart warmed at the sight, and she bent down to her son, stroking the hair off his forehead. "Come on, kid. Let's get you to bed."
He grumbled a bit in his sleep and refused to budge, only drawing his legs up under his chin. A pang of nostalgia swept through her. Her son was too big to be carried to his room now. God, he was growing up so fast! Reluctantly, she covered him with the quilt from the back of the couch and he immediately snuggled into it.
She slipped her shoes off and sat down on the other side of the couch, sliding her feet up under the cushions next to his head and told herself she was just going to shut her eyes long enough for her parents to come back downstairs.
When she awoke, early morning daylight was pouring in through the windows and the smell of pancakes and maple syrup wafted over from the kitchen. The crick in her neck from sleeping on the sofa was a small price to pay when she caught sight of Henry hugging her legs like they were a pillow. Slowly, she untangled herself from him, managing to not wake him up in the process, and went to see what was happening in the kitchen.
Her mother was almost finished with the pancakes, a huge plate of them piled up on the counter already, and she was humming something sort of sad to herself. It was a bit out of character for her, but Emma supposed with what all had happened recently, a happy tune just wasn't appropriate. Emma slid into a stool and just allowed herself to watch without interrupting for a moment while she gathered her courage and thoughts while she shook the last remnants of her sleep away.
Mary Margaret was always graceful, her movements deft and sure, but something about watching her do simple tasks like making breakfast for her family, made Emma's heart ache in a way she couldn't describe. It was like, for the first time, all those horrible childhood memories seemed faded and distant, the scars smoothed over and replaced retroactively by a mother's love. In that moment, Emma knew exactly what it would have been like to have been raised by her parents, and this time, it didn't cause her pain but joy.
Finally sensing her presence, Mary Margaret spun around and smiled at her daughter. "You must have been exhausted to sleep on the couch like that. Want some coffee?" Her eyes held nothing but care and sincerity, and before she could over think it, Emma found herself running around the kitchen island and embracing her mother fiercely. "Um, I take it you like that idea…" Mary Margaret fumbled.
"I love you, mom. I love you so much and I don't tell you that nearly as much as I should," Emma replied, her emotions getting away from her before she could stop them.
"Oookay?" Mary Margaret said with a confused look. "Emma, I love you too. But if this is about what happened yesterday, you should know that we don't think any less of you or blame you in the slightest."
Emma blinked away the wetness from her eyes and took a calming breath. "No, I mean, yes, this is about that, but it's also just because you're my mom."
"Honey," Mary Margaret began, directing her to sit back down and then joining her. "You will always be my daughter. And I will always, always love you. No matter what."
Emma shook her head, needing her to understand her guilt. "I tried to hurt you, mom. And if Regina wouldn't have stepped in, I would have tried to take your heart. I remember wanting to kill you."
Mary Margaret squared her shoulders, looking much more 'Snow White' than she had for a while, and pulled up Emma's head so that she could see the truth in her eyes. "Emma, listen to me," she said with deliberate emphasis. "That was not you. That was a curse. You did not do any of those things because you wanted to."
She held her mother's gaze, but it dropped when she started recalling the details of all that she had done. "But I did. A part of me did want to. I remember feeling so freaking angry about everything. And the things I said—"
"-Were completely justified," Mary Margaret cut in.
Emma's mouth dropped open. "How can you say that? I said horrible things to you!"
Her mother nodded in agreement, but her brow furrowed. "Yes you did, and somewhere inside you, you felt them to be true. And you were right. Maybe you could have worked a bit better on their delivery. I'm not sure the hostage situation was a necessity, but you were right."
She couldn't let her mother take the blame from her like that, because no matter what she believed, Emma knew that she had ultimately been responsible for letting the darkness take over her so easily. Still, it wouldn't have been that easy if there wasn't a real reason for her anger. "Mom, there were things I said that I did mean. But not all of it. I'll admit, I am still pretty pissed about the Maleficent thing. I can't believe you did that and that you lied-"
"Omitted," Mary Margaret corrected.
Emma rolled her eyes. "-lied to me about that. And I'm going to need some time to work through it. But… but when I needed you most, mom, you came through. And that is what matters to me. I'm really sorry that I accused you of never putting me first, because I know that it isn't true. I know how much you've sacrificed for my sake, and that you have more responsibilities than just me, and I shouldn't put the blame for what happened on your shoulders. I'm the Savior after all, and I know what it means to have responsibilities."
"Emma," Mary Margaret sighed, swirling her hands around a kitchen towel on the counter next to her. "About you being the Savior," she drew a deep breath before she proceeded. "When you went missing, David, Regina, Belle and I all had this talk about the burden we've unknowingly been placing on you. Maybe it's time we step back and stop expecting you to be the hero all the time." She looked up trying to gauge whether her words were getting through. Emma could only wring her hands nervously, wondering where this conversation was leading. Did they think she wasn't up to being a hero? Did she let them down because she wasn't able to fight off the darkness?
Mary Margaret frowned, her face awash in regret. "You know, once you broke the curse, it feels like every time something goes wrong, it has fallen onto your shoulders to fix. And we all let it. It's time that stopped."
Emma pulled away from that, trying to guard herself from the pain of being a disappointment to her mother, and feeling a bit defensive. "You know what was the worst part of that curse? I actually enjoyed being selfish for a little bit. Not caring about the consequences of my actions. That was so hard to fight against, because I had been trying to achieve this almost impossibly high standard of self-sacrifice that I learned from you and dad."
With a guilty look on her face, Snow stumbled for how to proceed. "Oh, honey, I know that I've always seen things in terms of black and white, good and evil, with no greys in between. And I think now, that I might have been wrong. Life isn't that cut and dry sometimes. Sometimes, you do need to be a little bit flexible. Maybe it's okay to be a little selfish now and then. You should go after what you want, even if it means letting some things go."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. This was the same woman who insisted there was always a right way and a wrong way and that no matter how hard, you had to always do the right thing? But that was the problem. Snow had made mistakes before, she had taken the wrong path. And maybe it was time for her to admit that she could sometimes be wrong, too. "What about bringing back the happy endings, what about protecting the town?"
"Emma, honey, that should be all of our jobs. Not just yours. Let us share your burden. You don't need to feel so responsible for everyone's happy endings. That should be their own job, even though I love how big your heart is and how much you care for people."
"So, you're saying I should just do what I want from now on and not worry about being the Savior anymore?" Emma asked in disbelief. She couldn't begin to grasp how this was the same person who had insisted all along that she was the one whose job it was to be the hero, to save people.
"No, not exactly. But I think it's time we all start working together, not just relying on one or two people to fix all our problems. And as long as you aren't hurting anybody, I don't know why you shouldn't take a little 'me' time for yourself every now and then." She seemed to contemplate this for a moment, mulling it over. "You know, I don't think I've ever asked you this, but what is your happy ending, Emma?"
Heart thundering, Emma answered her a bit too hastily. "Honestly, I have no idea."
Apparently, her mother was good at spotting liars as well. "Are you sure? I think that maybe somewhere in your heart you know that answer."
Reluctantly, Emma sighed at her mother's observation. "Okay, maybe I do. But I don't think it's even possible." She shifted uncomfortably on the stool, trying to squirm out from under her mother's scrutiny. But Mary Margaret's unflinching gaze was wearing her down. "I would just want to know that everyone I care about is safe and happy, and that I don't have to worry that something bad is going to just come and rip all that away from me," she admitted.
Her mother leaned closer, taking her daughter's hand in her own. "Oh, Emma, that is a beautiful happy ending. But I think the only reason you don't believe it's possible for you is that you're just scared. You are scared in the same way that everyone is. The future is scary, it's unknown, and you don't know what tomorrow will bring, whether there will be a new villain or a curse or a house fire or an illness. And you worry that you might lose someone you love. I have that fear. So does just about everyone. It means you're human." Emma met her mother's eye and saw nothing but love in them and she couldn't help but feel her mother had gotten to the root of her deepest fears. "Honey, losing people is a part of life. And if you don't take the time now to love them, to let them in, then you are going to wake up someday and they'll be gone anyway. Pushing people away is not the answer and you know it."
Emma snatched her hand back and crossed her arms. "Are we talking about Hook now?"
Mary Margaret shook her head, and reached out again to hold Emma's hand. "No, not just about him, but I know you love him, so why do I still see so much fear in your eyes."
Emma couldn't keep lying to her mother, not when she knew she needed to talk about this. And for some reason, it was easier with Mary Margaret than it would be with Killian. "I almost lost him," she admitted, her mouth dryly choking out the words. "I did lose him. And it hurt so damn much."
She could see the understanding in her mother's eyes and she remembered just how much her and David had gone through. Suddenly, Emma was very glad she had decided to open up her. Mary Margaret pulled her closer, brushing her thumb across Emma's knuckles. "I know that pain, Emma. I know how it hurts. And there might come a day where you might lose him for good." Emma blanched at that thought and pulled back on instinct, but her mother's steady hand kept her rooted to the spot. "But you don't know that for certain. And you really don't know how much happiness you might have together in the meantime. I've almost lost your father, you, and your brother. And it killed me, Emma, every single time. In fact, it still does. But I decided that the fear of losing all of you wasn't going to ruin all the happiness I can have right here, right now," her voice was so strong, so sure about her words and each one hit Emma like a bullet to her chest. "Let yourself enjoy every moment you can, because the happiness now is worth any amount of pain later, I promise you."
All she could do was nod, her throat dry and her tongue too thick to talk. She knew there were tears in her eyes, but her mother pretended like she didn't notice and for that, Emma was very grateful.
After a moment, Mary Margaret took one last look at her daughter, smiled a little, and stood up, straightening her shirt as she did. "Well, I suppose now I'll just have to reheat the coffee. Nothing taste worse in this realm than cold coffee. And to think people actually put it over ice!" She busily fussed about pouring the coffee into a saucepan and heating it over the stove. "Would you like some re-heated pancakes as well?"
Thankful that the emotional weight had lifted, Emma managed a semi-coherent reply. "That's okay. I actually promised Regina I'd help her fix the damage to her house. I should probably get going."
Handing over a warmed up mug of coffee, her mother smirked and said, "Well, maybe you should try to talk her into 'magic'ing up some color in that living room of hers. You'd think the woman would have more sense than to make everything white. Maybe you could sneak in one pink pillow or something?"
"Knowing Regina, she'd probably turn me into a pink pillow for trying," Emma chuckled, sipping the coffee slowly.
"How that woman keeps her white carpet clean I will never understand," Mary Margaret mumbled to herself with a look of horror.
Emma grinned and gathered her boots from there resting place near the sofa. She made a quick check on her sleeping son. "You can send Henry over to Regina's once he wakes up, if you want."
"Will do," her mother replied. Emma slipped on her jacket and turned to go, but her mother called out, "Oh! Do you want to meet up at Granny's for supper tonight? You're welcome to bring along whomever."
She could hear the insinuation in her mother's voice, and Emma rolled her eyes even though Mary Margaret couldn't see it. "Sure. See you later."
…..
"Have you heard anything about Gold?" Emma asked bluntly, looking around at the now completely restored living room and sort of proud of herself for the ease in which her magic had done the job.
Regina waved her hand and a vase filled with red roses appeared in the corner. It was practically the only spot of color anywhere. With a little flick of her finger, Emma grinned and added one pink rose, buried in the back so that Regina wouldn't see it anytime soon. Regina nodded at her handiwork and circled once more about her living room.
Suddenly, she paused mid-stride and turned with a gloating look on her face. "No. But I did have a very interesting chat with Belle about your dear Captain."
Even though she was long past the point of caring that people knew she and Killian were together, there was something about Regina's tone that still rankled. "And what was that?"
With a shrug, Regina adjusted one of her sofa cushions. "Just that he spent the night profusely apologizing for what he did to her."
It was obvious that she was baiting her, but Emma was far too curious about what Killian did to care. "Oh yeah?"
"Apparently, while he was under the influence, he commanded the Dark One to crush Belle's sweet little heart."
Emma tried to keep the shocked look off her face to no avail. Regina took one look at her and grinned in triumph. Meanwhile, Emma's stomach turned sour and she felt her hands tremble. She knew he had been doing something with that dagger before she had arrived, she had just assumed he had been trying to kill the Dark One. But Belle? They were friends. How deep into the darkness must he had been for him to try to kill Belle? And how did he manage to find his way out before the curse was broken?
"That's awful," Emma replied lamely.
"Yes," Regina agreed, somewhat deflating after her triumph. She sat down in a chair at her table and crossed her ankles like the proper queen she was and studied Emma silently. "You know, nobody blames you. Or Hook," she admitted sincerely.
"Regina—" Emma began, but the furious look the woman gave her stopped her cold.
"I'm serious, Emma. I know what it means to be evil, to do evil things. And what happened to you was not your fault."
It was clear that Regina meant well, but Emma knew that her guilt wouldn't go away that easily. She shoved her hands in the back pocket of her jeans and fidgeted like a kindergartner in front of the principal. "Regina, not only did I take your heart with the intent to crush it, I killed three people. And I wouldn't have stopped," she added, just to make sure the woman understood just how dark her heart had been.
Regina didn't even seemed phased, only tilting her head up and smirking. "But you did. And the people you killed were villains."
Emma frowned. "What? So it's okay that they're dead because they were bad people?"
With a drawn out sigh, Regina shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant. They made their choice to side with Gold all on their own, and they knew the consequences of that choice. They played with fire, Emma, and knowingly turned you dark. Do not, for one instant, feel guilty for what happened to them."
The tension broke around them in a wave, as Emma reflected upon what she had said. Finally, she sat down at the table next to Regina and gave her a nod. "Okay."
Donning her smug smile once more, Regina continued on. "And as for Hook. I learned something last night. Something I truly never suspected about him."
"What was that?" Emma asked curiously.
Suddenly, Regina looked bashful, like she was having a hard time with something. "Henry loves him. Like a father." She looked up and Emma could see just how much that confession pained her to admit. But then, she drew herself up and threw Emma a warning glare and a finger shake. "And I swear if you repeat this to him or to anyone I will set your hair on fire, but I think HookwouldmakeagooddadforHenry."
"What?" Emma gasped.
Regina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at the same time she uncrossed her ankles. "Are you really going to make me repeat that?"
Now it was Emma's turn to be smug. "Yes. I think I am."
With a glare, Regina replied tersely and very quietly. "Fine. I think Hook—Killian-" she conceded with an eye roll, "is a good man. And I think Henry needs a father. And…damn it, Emma! I'm not going to say the rest!" She had finally gave up any semblance of composure and practically jumped up out of the chair.
Emma smirked to herself, but knew she had to keep her pride in check. "You don't have to, Regina, but believe me, I was just as shocked as you about Henry's feelings."
Coming back to the table, Regina hovered nearby for a second, staring at the window. Suddenly, she slapped her hands down right in front of Emma, causing her to jump back in shock. "So what are you going to do about it? I mean, you love him, right? You're true loves now, or whatever, since he came to life after you kissed." She waved one hand about, like what she as implying was not nearly as big a deal as it was.
Backpedaling, Emma huffed out a reply. "No, that's…. Gold said what happened was due to the intervention of everyone. It took love from everybody gathered to bring him back."
"Well, I certainly don't love that pirate!" Regina shouted, looking aghast.
Emma felt as if this entire conversation was suddenly way out of her depth. Trying to reel it back into a more comfortable territory, she offered up her own half-formed hypothesis of what she had learned from Gold. "I'm not saying that. I think it was more that your heart went out to Henry, and that love transferred over to Killian through the dagger. Or something like that."
Regina scoffed at her. "Oh. Well, good. I didn't want the Captain getting the wrong idea. That man does not need a bigger ego."
"Don't think you have anything to worry about," Emma mumbled. "I'm pretty sure he knows how you feel about him. And his ego is plenty big enough," she added, flushing when she suddenly became acutely aware of how that had sounded.
Oh god, now Hook's innuendos were rubbing off on her. How had this conversation even started? Since when did Regina and her talk about their love lives? Well, they did talk about Robin. But they had never discussed her and Killian before except as a way to snark at each other. Did that make them friends? Was this Regina's way of being friendly?
Apparently it was, as the queen decided to keep pressing on. "So, back to my earlier question, what are you going to do about Henry's feelings towards Hook?"
"I don't know," Emma snapped.
Regina raised a brow and tapped her heels, staring her down. "Yes you do."
It was too much. First her mother, now Regina of all people? When would it end?
When you admit the truth, Emma.
"Ugh. Yes I do," she sighed, dropping her head into her hands.
…..
"Swan, what a pleasant surprise!" Killian said with false cheerfulness, as he threw open the door to his room.
He was shirtless. Of course he was freaking shirtless when she finally managed to make herself come talk to him. Needless to say, it didn't help with her mood. "Can it. We need to talk," she snapped.
His beaming smile turned to a frown instantly, and his whole posture closed off to her. "Is this a 'there's another crisis and I need your help' sort of talk, or is this 'I'm ready to admit certain painful truths to you even though I don't want to' kind of a talk, love?" His brow seemed to emphasize the last point all on its own.
"Um, the latter?" She shrugged, stepping forward to come into the room.
For a moment, he acted as if he wasn't going to let her in, then he seemed to soften, as his shoulders (his naked and perfectly sculpted shoulders) slumped. "Good. Well then I suppose you'd better come in then, darling." He gestured with his hook to the interior of his bedroom and she carefully side-stepped around him and his bare torso as she entered.
As soon as the door shut behind her, she sucked in a breath, ready to launch into the speech she had been working on for the last hour while pacing nervously around the docks. "Killian…."
But it seemed he had other plans. With a firm grasp, he took her by the arm and spun her around to that she was left breathless, slightly dizzy, and staring at his immaculately formed body. "Emma. Before you say another word, let me get something off my chest."
But there isn't anything on your chest, she thought absurdly, her hand moving on its own to nestle itself into the crisp hairs covering the skin below his collar bone and above his firm, and oh so muscular abs.
"Wha—" she stuttered. Suddenly, her face was being drawn up by his hook and his mouth was crashing down on hers, and her right foot was lifting off the ground, and desire flooded throughout her entire body. "Oh," she gasped, her eyes fluttering open, taking in the way his own had turned to a shade of deep midnight blue.
He nestled his hand into her hair, fingers easing the knots of tension in her neck, while he continued to trail kisses down her cheek, jaw, and shoulders. All the while, he was talking to her softly, but with fierce honesty. "Emma. I love you. I know that scares you. And I know that I almost broke my promise to you. But I can't go back to where we were before. I…" his voice cracked and it was that open vulnerability, that way he had of baring his soul to her even if it meant she was able to rip it apart if she wanted to, that made her stop and remember what she had come here to say.
She pulled his head back so that he would look at her by a gentle tug to his hair. When she was sure he was entirely focused on her words not her mouth, she steadied herself for her own honest admission. "I don't want to go back, either."
He looked completely taken aback by her words, as if her agreeing with him was the last thing he had thought possible. She absolutely hated herself for letting him doubt her feelings like that, and promised herself that no matter what, she wouldn't keep them hidden any longer. "You don't? Then why did you pull away?"
This was it. The moment she had both dreaded and desired. It was her turn to bare all of her secrets to him. To trust him with her heart, once and for all. Trembling, and no doubt cutting off the circulation in his arm by the force of her grip, she steadied herself one more time. "Killian, when you…died, I realized just how much you mean to me. I realized how much I love you. I mean, I really love you. It's so much, it's terrifying. I've never felt this way about anyone before. Never. And—"
The excitement that had slowly building in his eyes since she had started her speech finally could no longer be contained. He scooped her up so in his arms so that her feet literally left the ground, where upon she began giggling like a freaking school girl while he swung her around in a circle (as much as the space in his room at Granny's would allow). "Gods, Emma. You have no idea how much I love you." He seemed to realize that he had overreacted a bit and put her back on the ground but kept his forehead connected to her own so that he could keep looking into her eyes. "I know exactly what you feel, because, believe me, it scares me, too."
Regaining her composure, she tilted her head back away from him, hoping he could see the sincerity behind the words. "Killian? I want us to be an 'us'. I want to enjoy my life, and I don't want to live in fear anymore." Her brow furrowed and she swallowed hard, but she was on a roll and didn't want to stop now. "I want…I want us to move in together, and for you to be a father to Henry. And maybe someday give him a little brother or a sister. I want a future. Here. With you."
When she was done, she took a deep breath and braced herself for his reply. When she had been rehearsing her words to him, she had envisioned his reaction going many different ways, but a mute, open-mouthed stare was not one of them.
Finally, he began to blink rapidly, his hand shaking as it searched hers out and grabbed on tightly. "Emma…I…" And then he stopped again, as if she had turned his 'on' switch to 'off'. Worried now, she rotated her palm so that she could thread her fingers through his, and tried not to think about why he was answering her. Just as it occurred to her that maybe she should try their mental connection thing to see if she could read his mind, he finally threw off his hesitance and began to smile. She noticed now that his ears had turned pink, and a slight blush had spread to his cheeks. He really was an adorably sexy bastard. "You've left me quite speechless, love." He said haltingly with a breathless quality that made her go weak in the knees. Or maybe it was her heart. Then, his smile grew until it could have out-shined the sun, and she felt her own cheeks flush with heat.
"Ooh. I've rendered the great Captain Hook speechless!" She teased, pinching him lightly in the arm. Her voice was just as breathless as his was, and it made her sound like she was flirting. Okay, maybe she was flirting. "The wicked tongue has fallen silent. Finally, I bested you at your own game," she grinned knowingly as she watched his eyes darken with lust once more.
He growled and tugged her closer to him. "Swan, if you don't get over here and kiss me, I will have to show you exactly what I can do with this wicked tongue." And then the bastard demonstrated by rolling it into his cheek in the most suggestive way possible before running it along his lips and quirking that one brow in challenge.
Emma practically ripped off his pants at that little demonstration. "Is that a promise?"
Suddenly, his whole demeanor shifted yet again, back to serious. He pulled her close to him, but the sparks in the air around them felt far more weighty than they were a moment before. "Swan," he began in that tone that meant something completely romantic and beautifully perfect and honest was about to fall from his lips, "That is only the beginning. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to give you everything you want and more for as long as you will have me. I promise to cherish and worship you like the goddess you are. I promise to protect your heart until my dying breath. And I promise that I will love you with everything that I am in this realm and the next."
She held his gaze, even though he was a teary, blurry haze to her, and she felt the last of her fears dissolve in the strength of that confession. Without a shred of doubt, she knew he would do everything in his power to keep those promises. There was glow to the air that hadn't been there before, and from the corner of her eye, she could swear she saw their hands both glowing brightly white, together.
He dipped his head down so that their foreheads touched again and she lifted her free hand up so that she could stroke the stubble on his chin and wipe away the stray tear on his cheek. "Good," she replied.
…..
Things in Storybrooke began to settle quickly. True to Regina's prediction, no one blamed either Emma or Killian for what they had done under the influence of the dark curse.
Gold was discovered in a shack in the woods a week later. He was frail and magic-less, but seemingly far less evil than he had ever been. When Belle heard the news, she rushed to his side, where he confessed that the Dark One had been vanquished for good by the miraculous manifestation of love that had also saved Killian. Unfortunately, all of his deeds had finally caught up with him and a few days later, he passed away surrounded by Belle, Henry, the Charmings, and Regina. Emma and Killian waited just outside the hospital door, but neither could bring themselves to share in the man's final moments.
Shortly after Emma's confession, she and Killian began looking for a place to live together. With Henry's input, they moved in to a small cottage near the docks, with a beautiful cobblestone walkway leading to the beach. It was love at first sight for Emma and Killian, who was entirely too enthusiastic about the whole ordeal, kept saying he would be happy living in a hovel in the woods, so long as Emma was with him (Although Emma knew he was secretly very happy that they had found a place near the water).
Henry's only complaint came when they had begun moving their stuff in that weekend.
"Can we make the extra bedroom a game room?" He asked, dumping his box of video games into the middle of the floor.
"Aye, well I suppose that would be alright, for now," he replied without thinking, while Emma's face flushed red.
Henry took one look at them and rolled his eyes. "You know, if you wanted to make it a nursery, all you had to do was say so."
Emma's cheeks flared an even brighter red, and Killian chuckled away quietly. "Henry, it's not…we're not…"
Darting his eyes back and forth between his mother and Killian, Henry's shoulders slumped sadly. "Oh."
"Wait…what?" Emma stuttered.
He shrugged, looking completely disappointed. "Never mind. It's cool. I guess it'll be nice not having to share all my stuff just yet, anyway."
In shock, Emma glared at Killian, who merely gave her a crooked grin as his eyes danced with merriment. In her mind, she heard him say, "We wouldn't want to disappoint the boy further, aye love? Perhaps we need to speed up our plans."
Whatever magic still bonded them together was as yet unexplained, but seeing how neither one of them was willing to give it up, they decided it was best just to go with it. Just how deep the magic went was something they had yet to test, but Emma had a suspicion that it was even deeper than the bond she had created the first time. This soul bonding felt as natural as breathing, as if their connection was always meant to be.
"If you think I'm just going to get pregnant because you and Henry want a baby, you can think again, mister." She crossed her arms and huffed. Henry stopped what he was doing and gave her a curious look. She tried to cover her mental jousting by fussing with her hair and pretending it was in her eyes.
He lost interest and returned to setting up the game console around the extra TV set. Killian immediately sat down next to him, watching his movements with rapt attention while still continuing on their conversation. "Ah, but love. You told me you wanted another wee one, too."
He was so much better at this whole mental-communication thing, she was starting to get annoyed. Every time she talked, she couldn't help but gesture with her hands. She was positive it made her look like she was insane. "Yeah, in the future. Like far, far away in the future."
He turned his head and with a slow wink, he replied, "Well, I suppose in the meantime, practice makes perfect."
...
Thank you so much for reading! It has been an honor and a pleasure. Please feel free to leave me feedback in whatever way you wish.
I hope to publish more soon. I have several I'm working on at the moment, and have promised to continue on with my "Ghost and Emma Swan" story. If you want to know more about upcoming projects, feel free to leave a message.
XX-drowned_dreamer
