DeGrassi Saviors Website News:
*Make sure you check my page for daily clues and pictures.
*Check the home page for our Soap Opera ending for the TV show, two of which will be turned into a 3 shot.
*Also check my January calendar writing schedule on my page for the one shots I will be posting during one shot week!
Other News:
The next few days are going to be pretty crazy, so tonight along with Wednesday and Thursday will all be fairly short chapters.
As I said it would probably be a short chapter but at least I'm not as off schedule as I thought I might be.
This chapter gets pretty intense in Fitz and Clare's povs so read with caution.
Ch. 3 Mind is Safe and Body Tortured
(ADAM)
I watch the sun hit our patio as it rises starting a new day, another day without Clare. She's been missing for over 24 hours now, when it hit the 24 hour mark last night since anyone had heard from her I lost all feeling in my body. I could actually feel a part of me dying as I realized I may never see my best friend again. I sat up all night, I wanted to go out and look for her but my parents and the cops wouldn't let me, they said to wait for morning and I couldn't do anything so late at night. Owen still drove me and Eli around just so that we were doing something; we had to at least try because this sitting here and wondering what had happened and where she could be was driving me slowly insane. Every minute that ticked by and we did nothing stabbed at me with guilt and the pain of wondering what Clare was being put through.
Eventually we were called home by my mom and now we sat in the basement with my brother, Bianca, Alli, Jenna, Dallas and Connor. No one had wanted to go home and we'd all just stayed up all night. Even Owen and Bianca who really hadn't had much interaction with Clare had stayed here and stayed awake. I wondered if we were all thinking the same terrible thoughts and having the same worries or if each of us had different ones. I wondered why this was affecting Drew, Dallas, Owen and Bianca so much? Was it worry for Clare because they did know here even a little or was it something else?
Right now we were all watching the sun, watching the day dawn without Clare. Hoping that even though she wasn't here she was still alive somewhere and there was still a chance no matter how slim that we could find her, find her alive. After a moment of watching the sun we all move at the same time, it's like we all need to move again, need to start looking and doing something because she has to be out there somewhere she just has to be.
"They'll start a search again organized from the school I think," Connor says with tears in his voice.
"We should drive around, split up in different directions, we can pick up Jake and Dave," Dallas comments.
"Drive around where? She could be anywhere they have at least a 24 hour start on us they could be doing anything to her!" Eli hisses angrily, his words spitting out with venom and making Dallas flinch. Eli didn't mean it, he's not angry at Dallas or blaming him for any of this he's just angry and worried and guilty. Dallas knows this and so does Eli because he calms down after a breath and looks at Dallas with regret in his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean…I'm just…"
"Yeah I know," Dallas says cutting Eli off, "we're all worried."
"Let's make posters, we can put them up and we should drive out to other cities, Ottawa, Guelph, London, anywhere between here and the border. Even across the border if we have passports, talk to people get the word out, someone somewhere has to know something," Bianca says.
"That's a good idea Bianca," Mom's voice on the stairs makes us jump.
"You can start on the posters now; Glen and Jake are on their way over with breakfast. At eight they're going to hold a press conference at the school, they would like you to speak Adam, and anyone else that is close to Clare," Mom tells us.
"What am I supposed to say?" I question.
"They'll discuss that with you before the conference, I know you have some really good pictures of Clare you can copy them and put them on the posters, if you make a few here I'm sure you can copy them at the school," Mom says.
"Yeah I have a couple in my room, a bunch on my phone," I nod and Dallas grabs his laptop.
I print out two of the best and most recent pictures of Clare, after loading them from my phone to the computer. We paste them on some paper and make a few different posters, all say basically the same thing that Clare is missing and who to contact with information. Jake and Glen show up as we're making the posters and Jake helps us, they have coffee and pastries but no one is real hungry, I sip at coffee and nibble at a bagel. We leave for the school at seven and begin photocopying the posters when Officer Turner comes in with Dave.
"Helen is here but hardly holding herself together so she won't be talking during the press conference. I'll do most of it but I thought it would be good for people to hear from someone who knows her well so I thought Adam should talk and anyone else that wants to is welcome to," Officer Turner tells us.
"What do I say?" I ask him.
"Anything Adam, talk about Clare and what kind of person she is, talk to her and the person or people that have her. The point is to get her story out there and humanize her to whoever has her. We'll allow some questions after we talk but let me answer them," Officer Turner says and I nod.
Eli says he wants to talk and so does Alli; he goes over some talking points with us, mostly things we shouldn't say to her kidnappers. Then we're taken to the auditorium which is packed with reporters from as far away as Ottawa and New York.
"Morning my name is Craig Turner and I'm a first class constable with the Ontario Provincial Police. Clare Edwards, a seventeen year old DeGrassi Community School student went missing over 36 hours ago. My son Dave also attends DeGrassi and is friends with Clare and her disappearance has affected not only her family and friends but the school and entire community. Clare's mother Helen, stepfather Glen and stepbrother Jake are here along with her father Randall," Officer Turner says motioning to Clare's family behind him. Helen is just sobbing while Glen holds her and Jake looks sick from worry, although I doubt I look any better, I know Eli doesn't and neither do Alli and Jenna. Randall looks pale and extremely guilty. "A few of Clare's friends would like to speak and then I'll take questions."
Officer Turner motions to me and I stand up going to the podium. I'm shaking and it's not from stage fright, there's so much emotion in me and I'm trying to push I back but it's not working so well. I clear my throat and look at the reporters; they all have microphones or voice recorders out, leaning in to hear what I have to say.
"My name is Adam Torres and Clare is my best friend. She is a very smart and talented person and an amazing writer. She is one of the kindest and most generous people I know. Clare has been a source of strength and support for me more times than I can count, I would not be the same if she'd never come to my life and her friendship is something I am very grateful for. Clare wherever you are I hope you know how many people love you and how much your absence affects us all. To whoever has Clare please let her go and let her come back to the people that love her."
There's more I want to say but I'm beginning to cry and can't speak so I step away and Officer Turner goes back to the podium. He says a few words and then Alli gets up but she's crying very hard and she barely gets out that she misses Clare and wants her to come home. Eli goes to the podium and looks back at me before talking.
"Clare I miss you and I'm sorry for everything, I hope that you're okay and that whoever has you releases you. We're looking for Clare, all of us and we'll never stop," Eli says and sits down again and Randall gets up with Jake.
Randall has an enlarged picture of Clare with him taken a couple of months ago; he holds it out for the cameras to see. "This is my baby girl Clare Diana Edwards. She is a light in the lives of everyone that know her and we're asking for her safe return. Please if you know anything call the Ontario Provincial Police," Randall begs.
"Clare has shoulder length light brown curls and bright blue eyes and a shy smile. She's sweet and kind, and stubborn really stubborn," Jake says with a smile and I even smile a little. "There isn't anything she wouldn't do for you and we're all very worried, we are praying for her safe return. If you have my sister thanks for taking care of her but please let her come back to her family and friends," Jake says and then he sits down with Randall again.
"I'll take questions now," Officer Turner tells them when he goes back to the podium.
Reporters start shooting off questions and Officer Turner answers the ones related to the case and deflects anything that isn't. He stops questions after about fifteen minutes and calls the press conference to a close.
"Hey I'm going to Ottawa to put up posters with Drew and Bianca do you two want to come?" Owen says when we rejoin the others.
"Yeah," I nod and so does Eli.
"I already cleared it with Mom," Drew tells me putting his arm around my shoulders, "let's go find Clare."
(FITZ)
"Breakfast, eat Cinnamon your training starts in an hour and I'll be in with Cross to help train you," Zuchter tells her pushing our breakfast trays under the bars. I let go of Clare and retrieve our breakfast, sitting back on the bed I hand her a tray.
"You need to eat today is going to be one of the hardest you've ever been through," I tell her.
She picks up a piece of toast and begins nibbling it, she eats that and drinks the milk but it's something. The only thing she didn't eat was the applesauce and I eat them both. As soon as she's done eating she curls up to me, her head on my shoulder she puts my arm around her. She's afraid and I'm her only shield and solace in this place.
"I'll stay with you but you'll be put through a lot and I'll be forced to do things to you and you to me," I tell her and she looks up at me, "it's part of your training. I'll make it as easy on you as I can I promise you Clare."
"What's going to happen?" She asks.
"They'll probably start with teaching you to give a blow job on me," I tell her and she pales a little bit. "Just pretend it's a popsicle and it's really hot day, I'll instruct you as you go and do exactly what I say. When I cum swallow it, all of it, it won't taste good but swallow all of it, force it down and don't gag. If you don't do it right or spit some of it out then we'll both be punished," I inform her.
"Why would you get punished?" She asks.
"Because I'm your teacher and if you don't do something right it means I didn't teach your right and we both get punished," I reply.
"I'll do exactly as you say," she says as I hear the heavy boots of Zuchter coming back.
"Just remember that place in your head I told you to go," I whisper to her as he opens the cell door.
"Come," he orders and Clare starts shaking so I stand and help her up. I keep my arm around her as we walk down the hall and it's the first time she's seen any of the other people in their cells. She grips me a little tighter when she does. Zuchter takes us to one of the small rooms used for training, punishment and a number of other things none of which are good. "Get on your knees and blow Cross," Zuchter orders.
"Stay in that place in your head but listen to what I tell you and do everything I say," I whisper to her and then straighten up. "Kneel in front of me and pull down my shorts and boxers. Take my penis and in your hand and gently rub until I'm hard," I tell her and she nods.
This is harder than I thought, not just being the teacher but having to teach Clare to do this. Sweet and gentle Clare, I know she was never as innocent as people thought but she was too innocent for this. I see parts of her breaking away already and how her soul is twisting in this hell. I hope I can find a way to get us out of here before it completely demolishes her and takes everything from her.
Clare does as I say going down on her knees and pulling down my shorts and boxers. She takes my penis and strokes me, I continue giving her instructions, how to suck, lick and caress until I'm entirely hard and ready to cum. I wish this didn't turn me on, I wish I didn't have to put Clare through this and that my first sexual experience with Clare wasn't like this. However this is the situation we are in and I'll make it as easy as I can on her. I shoot into her mouth with a grunt and just before my eye close I see her face twist with the unpleasant taste but I hear her swallow. I open my eyes and see her still on her knees and wiping her mouth.
"Good teach her how to be touched," Zuchter orders and I help Clare stand.
"Lay on the table," I instruct and she does so, I tuck one of her curls behind her ear and lean down to whisper to her. "Go to that place in your head, I'm going to touch you, I'll be gentle and just stay quiet no matter what you feel," I tell her.
She closes her eyes a second and then opens them; I want to be very gentle and caress her skin softly. I want to ease her into it and actually enjoy touching her skin but I can't and if I don't start then Zuchter will and he won't be gentle. So I start with her breasts, massaging them gently and then kissing them. Sucking her nipple and licking around it, I keep doing so until I see Zuchter move getting impatient. I open her legs and get between them, I look up her, I don't want to do this but it has to be done. I look up at her, she bites her lip, her eyes are full of fear but she nods knowing what has to be done. I open her lips and carefully put in one finger, she shifts and gasps slightly, it's uncomfortable for her and I wish it wasn't.
I start with one finger then two, then three and then my whole hand and she whimpers but then bites her lip. Zuchter is either bored or decides Clare needs more because he starts groping her breasts and he's not gentle. This goes on for a while until she's wet and Zuchter knows it, she's not enjoying this but her body responds to the stimulation despite what she wants or how she feels.
"Get on the floor on you hades and knees so you can be fucked," Zuchter orders.
Clare does as he says, getting on the floor and I get behind her to keep Zuchter from doing this. I lean forward a little as I spread her vaginal lips preparing to thrust in.
"Go to that place in your head Clare, go there and stay there. I'm there with you, holding you. I'm sorry that this is going to hurt," I tell her straitening up and thrusting in. I go gentle but fast, she needs to be prepared for pain, it's all she's going to feel until I can get us out of here. It's painful for Clare and she cries out many times, her body clenches and tries to move away but I hold her in place. I hate this, more than anything I've done, raping Clare is blackening my soul and killing me, it's killing her but if I wasn't then Zuchter would be and this would be even more painful for her and she'd be bleeding and bruised at the very least. I grunt pretending to cum but I don't this isn't turning me on I just want this all to be over. "Done and she needs to rest, it's almost lunch," I tell Zuchter.
"Okay take her back to your cell, after lunch we'll continue her first job is in two days and she needs to be ready," Zuchter says.
Clare sits on the floor; she's biting her lip and holding her legs trying not to cry because I told her it was a sign of weakness here. I pick her up and carry her back Zuchter lets us in and Wache is watching us. I get her on the bed and cover her with the blanket, she clings to me sobbing silently against my chest and I hold her tight.
"I'm sorry Clare; I'm really sorry Clare I had to. I won't ask if you're okay because I know you're not and you'll have to go through it all again but I'll be with you. I'll be with you and I'll keep as much pain from you as I can," I tell her and she nods against my chest gripping to me tighter.
(CLARE)
"I don't want to do this," I whisper to Fitz.
"I know, I can't go in with you just remember that place in your mind and stay there. Remember what you were taught, be whatever they want. Your body and what you say is whatever the client wants but in your mind go to that place in your mind," Fitz reminds me.
I was taken four days ago and right now we're on the way to my first job. Fitz and I sit in the back of a windowless van, the seats have been taken out and there's just wood back here. That and a bar with handcuffs on it in case people don't cooperate. I'm being taken to a home, a home in a suburban neighborhood to be a sex toy for some man I've never met. He's going to rape me and I'm dressed like a catholic school girl. Plaid skirt that barely covers my ass, knee socks, Mary Jane's, a button up sleeveless white blouse that's tied just under my breasts and my hair in pig tails, I must look like I'm twelve but apparently that's what this guy likes. The closer we get to our destination the more sick I feel.
The last couple of days I've been trained and as terrible as it was I know if Fitz hadn't been the one to do most of it I would have suffered a lot more. After all of it we'd return to his cell and he'd hold me in his bed. He'd hold me while I cried and then hold me after, Fitz is the only reason I was even still alive, if he wasn't here I would never have survived. I was grateful that he was here but not that he was going through this too and had been for so much longer than I had. He was my solace, my one safe place in this hell and the one thing keeping me from ending it all.
The van stops and Vollstrecker takes me out, he tells me Fitz will be in the van. He takes me to the door and a guy in his forties with a beer belly answers it. The man says his name is Logan and brings me inside, Volldtrecker stands guard at the door and I follow Logan back to his bedroom. I begin to shake and then demand myself not to, in my mind I go to that place in my mind, the river in the forest and I'm on a swing, Fitz is pushing me. It's peaceful and calm, I feel safe in this place and content, my physical body might be in hell but my mind is in a place where I'm safe.
"You're name is Cinnamon," Logan says and I nod. "Are you a bad girl Cinnamon?"
Now I know his fantasy, I know what he wants and I know how to play along, "Yes I'm very bad," I reply. I try to sound convincing but I doubt that I do, he doesn't seem to care though he just keeps going.
His fantasy entails me lying over his lap so he can spank me hard. I bite my lip and concentrate on that place in my mind. I can hear the river, feel Fitz pushing me on the swing, the wind through my hair, I can smell the trees. Escaping to this place in my mind and leaving my physical body to be tortured keeps my sanity and keeps me from breaking down because of what's being done to me. After he spanks me so much my butt cheeks burn he wants me to blow him and then I'm done. Logan gives Vollstrecker the money and he takes me back to the van.
"How bad was it?" Fitz asks taking me into his arms as Vollstrecker starts to drive.
"Spanking and a blow job, it was awful I feel dirty and horrible but I'm guessing it can get a lot worse," I reply in a soft voice.
"Yeah it can and I hope you never have to go through it," Fitz says.
We drive back to the prison, which is what I think of it as, the place we're all held with the cells and underground. I try to get my bearings and figure out what direction we're going and what town we're in but I have no idea. When we get back I'm taken to the clinic room, given an exam and a shot of something they still won't tell me what it is and even Fitz doesn't know. Then I'm made to shower and then taken to the cell where Fitz is waiting and so is my lunch.
"I'm not hungry," I shake my head getting in the bed with Fitz.
"I didn't think you would be, you should try and eat a little," he encourages.
"I can't, I don't know how long I can survive this even with you here. Today was terrible, I feel so dirty and dehumanized, I knew what to do but that almost makes it worse. I don't want to get used to this life, I want to get out," I tell him in a very low whisper so no one else hears.
"I know Clare I'm working on it but it's going to take some time just hang in until I can," he says stroking my arm.
"Why do they call you Cross?" I ask him.
"I had a cross necklace when they took me, I was still clutching it when I woke up after being taken," he tells me.
"Can I call you Mark?" I query and he grins.
"Yeah you can call me Mark," he says.
"Will you hold me?" I request and he puts his arms around me. "Mark are we ever going to go home?"
"I'll find a way Clare; I promise you I will find a way to get you home."
Update Friday December 12th jumping a week or two and probably starting with Adam or Owen pov.
