Due to the gratifying waves of reviews (thank you,) I have typed up yet another installment! Cheers

DC: I actually sort of like Avril Lavigne. Sort of. Anyways, I defiantly don't own her. Or whatever stupid connection you can make in this fic just for the sake of legal action.

Leer! (Pronounced "leh AIR". Congrats, you are now bilingual.)

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The secret weapon hummed. Voldemort leaned back contentedly in his chair. He'd gone out and bought a huge office furniture set from Office Depot, some new power cables, a power source, and these neat little stickers for his laptop, that said things like "Bling bling!" and "Pimp'n" He had no idea what they were, but they sounded cool. Anything that was "pimp'n" had to be worthy of the Dark Lord.

Now it was time to begin with the plan. He had cleverly named it "Operation Destroy That Potter Kid For Once And For All." There was even an acronym: ODTPKFOAFA, and an anagram: PAT OF OK FAD. It was genius.

Currently, he was tedioiusly clearing the system of all the trial things that came with his computer. It was worth it though. With this little baby, he could take the muggle world down.

Isn't ironic that you're using a muggle device to destroy the muggles?

The blasted conscience had woken up again. Voldemort cranked up the radio in his head, and the little voice was drowned out by Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend. Humming along, Voldemort waited patiently.

The computer binged. The Dark Lord smiled. He loved that bing. It felt as though it was cleansing the torn, bloodied, and rather dingy bits of his soul that were left.

He sat back up and opened his Internet service. It had been a stretch, but finally, after a few angry phone calls to IT; the signal had been able to penetrate the unrelenting evil that filled Malfoy Manor.

Slowly working his way through Yahoo!, he found the compose button. Maniacally, he clicked it.

To: The Potter Kid

From: The Pimp'n Dark Lord

Subject: Take this, loser!

It was so simple, one-click, hassle free! He should've tried this years ago!

Hmm… What was that blank box below the Subject title? Nothing important, otherwise they would've labeled it.

Gleefully, Voldemort hit send. He squeezed his eyes shut, to savor the feeling of a job well done. Then he opened his eyes, to continue with the plan.

A rather dismaying screen greeted him.

"Snape!" he yelled, "What the hell does this mean?"

Stiffly, Snape entered the room. "Yes, my Lord?"

Voldemort stared at the Death Eater. "I already asked the question!"

Snape, who was trying to make some tea, was not in the best of moods. "Then repeat it. My lord."

"What the hell does this mean?"

Behind his back, where the Dark Lord couldn't see, Snape wrung the folds of his robe. The tea was going to be over-steeped. Carefully, he leaned close to the monitor. "It says you can't send that email."

"Why?"

"You don't have an account on Yahoo!, or any where else."

"But it still let me write the email!"

"I know sir. It's wacked out."

Voldemort looked at his minion. "Wacked out? When have you ever said 'wacked out' before in your life?"

"I don't know sir." There was a high-pitched whistle from the kitchen. "But if you'll excuse me again, I have some Earl Grey going, and I'd rather it not become Earl Black."

"Very well, Snape." Voldemort grumbled. "Go tend your 'tea'"

Snape sped out of the room.

Voldemort looked at the screen. He supposed he should set up an email account, so all this effort would be worth it, but suddenly a more pressing matter presented itself. He picked up the phone.

"Yes, operator? Connect me with Stickers R Us."

He waited and listened to Avril break out in chorus.

"Hello, Stickers R Us? Yes, I'd like to place a request…. Five gold stickers saying 'Wacked Out'… M-hmm… Oh, and if you make thousands upon millions of dollars off this slogan, please credit Mister Voldemort Voldemort. Yes, that's the name… They'll be here within six to eight weeks? Excellent."

He hung up. A wicked smile lit his features. Plagiarism. The ultimate crime. Plus he'd have another quirky sticker for his laptop.

Switching back to PAT OF OK FAD, he selected that peppy button that said "Sign up now!" Oh, he though as he entered his name, he'd sign up all right. He'd sign up.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

"Please Harry." Ron moaned. "Just try another email address and move on."

"But how could 'harripotterboi' already be taken? I'm the only Harry Potter in the world!" Harry glared at the iBook's screen.

"We know that," Hermione said exasperatedly, "But it seems someone else in this world of 6.5 billion people has it, so you need to think of something else!"

Harry grumbled. He didn't see why he had to learn to use a computer. It's not like Voldemort was going to use one, so why should he? All they did was complicate things. The iPod's cord kept getting tangled up, and this iBook had a "server error". Why the computer need a servant, he couldn't fathom. And where was the "sever" anyways? Technology was awfully suspicious.

"How 'bout 'golden#snitch#uk'?" Ron suggested.

"Or 'angsty-wizard-teen'?" Hermione said.

Harry shook his head. "Those don't describe me at all. Especially that last one." He added.

The trio sat in silence. Eventually Ron and Hermione gave up. "We'll be at Hargrid's." Ron said. They left.

Outside, Hermione almost ripped her hair out. "How #$ing hard could it #$ing be?!" she yelled, "He's like an old person! My parents can operate a computer better than him!"

"My parents can operate a computer better than him." Ron said darkly.

The two shivered at the though of Mr. Weasly using a computer.

"I wonder what he's doing now…" Hermione pondered as they trooped across the grounds.

"God only knows…" Ron rolled his eyes.

Upstairs, in the common room, Harry was surfing the Internet. "Omigod!" he cried suddenly. "Porn site!"

Every girl within earshot ran over, formed a line, and took turns slapping him. It was quite coincidental that the same thing was happening at Malfoy Manor, except it was just Bellatrix and Narcissa taking turns.

The whole point of this installment is to get email accounts set up. Which they did, after a number of people gave up on both Harry and Voldemort, for being hopeless.

AN: Well, I tried. I really did. Maybe it's longer, maybe it's not. But the next chapie will be up soon.

ginny