AN: All places, characters and some of the dialogues belong to J. Fellowes.
It had not been just his imagination. He had felt it from the beginning, from O'Brien's less than warm welcome, to the way Thomas had sneered once or twice while walking him through his duties on his very first day. Now Anna had confirmed they were far less than thrilled to have him around.
It was the last thing he needed, because it was hard enough to prove himself as it was, without having people saying he wasn't doing it right. His most recent dialogue with Lord Grantham had told him as much.
"Bates, we have to be sensible. I won't be doing you a favour in the long run if it's too much for you. No matter what we've been through, it's got to work."
"Of course it has,"* Bates had agreed. And afterwards even Lord Grantham had admitted that they had managed so far.
And truth to be told, after a fortnight, he could honestly say he could manage. He was now sure of it. Of course, the first days, when he had finally being able to rest after his duties, he had reached his room in pain, his knee swollen and his good leg throbbing. Now, however, he could honestly say he was just tired, just like anybody in his position would be.
He walked slowly, but he compensated by starting earlier. He rarely carried things with his two hands if he could avoid it, in order to have a solid support on his cane should he need one, but so far it had not been necessary. Of course, his Lordship had not yet travelled, so he had had no dealings with heavy luggage, and yet with uncharacteristic optimism, he was almost sure he would find a way to do that as well.
It wasn't right for him to get this far, only to be boycotted by an aspiring footman and a Lady's maid. And yet, much more unfair things had happened to him before. He should be used by now.
At the sound of his name, he looked up from the book he had been pretending to read since talking to Anna. Next to him, she was mending something; all around servants were getting ready to have dinner, as soon as the family would finish. Daisy had been talking about the Titanic again. The young girl was easily impressed and, truth to be told, Bates very much doubted she had much to think about being just a maid lighting fires and helping the cook.
"I expect you saw worse things in South Africa. Eh, Mr Bates?" Gwen had asked, busying over setting the table. Funny that she should say that, right after Lord Grantham had asked him about the army.
"Not worse, but pretty bad." It was strange to have everybody's attention, even O'Brien's, for something that was not his limp.
"Did you enjoy the war?" Daisy asked.
"I don't think anyone enjoys war, but there are some good memories, too." He said, trying to sound nonchalant. The memory of having a leg that worked properly, for starters.
"I'm sure there are," Anna prompted, and Bates felt a sudden irritation. She was pitying him, and after the conversation they had had, he was sure this was an attempt to put him in a good light. He could not say what was exactly wrong with that, but he was certain he did not want Anna Smith, or anybody for that matter, to pity him.
Distracted, he stood up to hand a tray for Gwen.
The sharp pain on his bad leg was too much, and with an involuntary gasp, he dropped the heavy tray and, had he not manage to hold onto the table in the last second, he would have followed the silverware.
Less than a moment later, Anna had jumped towards the mess.
"I'll do it," she muttered, quickly bending down to pick up forks and knives. Bates knee was throbbing so hard he could not even join her.
"Sorry."*
He did not know where to look or what to do exactly, now that he had indeed everybody's attention. He could even feel Anna's gaze and for a fraction of a second he dared looking back.
Hard as he tried, he did not see that pity he was sure he would find.
He felt as if he had been hiding. While upstairs dinner was going on, he had taken refuge in the boots' room. He did not needed to see O'Brien's sneer or hear any more remarks. If she wanted to see him humiliated, there was no need to give her more opportunities, and he could very well use the time to clean Lord Grantham's boots.
Time passed with him hardly noticing, until the noises from the kitchen and the servant's hall brought him back to the present. Dinner upstairs was probably over and they we getting ready for their own supper. Bates collected his things and exited the room, heading to the store room to leave the lot. It was a door he was still unfamiliar with, and his walking stick was making it difficult for him to open it.
"Let me."
He had not heard her come down the stairs. "There's no need," he said warily, although it was obvious he could use some help.
"Mr Bates," Anna said, her hand on her waist, looking slightly exasperated, "anyone can have their hands full."
Without waiting for his reply, she opened the door and held it for him. She was right, of course.
"Thank you," he said, smiling at her. His own efforts of looking competent were perhaps making it even more obvious when he was not.
She smiled and he noticed how her eyes sparked. "We'd better get moving, or they'll start without us."
He chuckled. "Just let them try."**
* Dialogues from S01 E01.
** This is a deleted scene that can be found on the Script Book. I'm sorry they didn't put it in!
AN: Again, thank you very much for all your support!
