It had been three weeks since arriving back at the compound and Carol had easily fitted herself into the way of life there. Daryl had watched as she had slowly opened up to the others and helped Shiloh through his grieving. Now more often than not, when he caught sight of her she was smiling and talking to someone, much like she had been before she left.
Sense that first night they had shared gate duty several times. He would always end up watching her when she wasn't looking. She was stiller and watchful now, quieter in everything she did. Her eyes were always scanning, taking in everything around her. Being around her again brought out the familiar feeling of wanting to be closer to her. He had noticed it back at the prison, he would find himself always trying to get a glimpse of her. It was always an unconscious thing, when he would see him all the tension would leave him and he would feel normal.
Now he was sitting at one of the makeshift tables in the kitchen area pretending to mess with his bow, but he was mostly watching her as she cooked some of the meat from a deer he had caught that morning. She was frowning slightly at the smoke in her face as she moved it around on the grill. Out of nowhere he found himself thinking of how beautiful she was. The random thought stopped him short as he just watched her. It wasn't the first time he had thought it, but it was the first time sense her return.
As if sensing him looking she looked up and caught his eyes. She smiled and it actually reached her eyes now. She returned the smile, though he could feel his cheeks redden at being caught staring. The moment was broken by the guards at the gate signaling people besides their own coming. It didn't happen very often, but occasionally groups would stumble upon the compound. Most were grateful and would take advantage of the help offered, others were simply hostile.
Everyone had their own role, the weak and children were taken to a secure place with a guard and the more fit had their places at the gate to set up a human blockade of sorts. Daryl was Rick's second hand and stood with him so they could assess the group. Looking around quickly he saw that Carol was standing close with Glenn and Maggie. She was supposed to be in the building with the children because she was unarmed, but he wasn't really surprised to see her there.
The approaching group had six men and three women from what he could tell. They looked like most groups that stumbled upon them, filthy and weary. They all had a weapon of some sort from guns to what looked like a stick with a knife taped to the end. At least he knew they were resourceful.
When they were just barely inside the gate the leading man said gruffly, "Who's in charge here?" Rick stepped forward.
"We need supplies," the man said matter of fact.
"Why should we give you our supplies?" Rick questioned, standing with his hand on the gun at his hip.
"You're not just gonna leave us to starve are ya?" the man acted hurt.
Before Daryl even knew what happened the man signaled the others who spread out with weapons raised and grabbed three of their people, a large man held Glenn with a knife to his nick, a woman had a woman that Daryl didn't know with a gun pointed at her head, and a large man had Carol penned against him with a gun to her head. Unlike the other woman she looked surprisingly calm, almost annoyed even.
"You are making a really big mistake," Rick said menacingly. The other group simply laughed.
"I think we have the upper hand here," the man gestured to their victims.
Daryl hadn't taken his eyes off the large man holding Carol. He hated the helpless feeling rushing through him. He glanced to Carol and she was watching him. Then to his surprise she smiled. He was startled when she started to thrash against the man.
"Jay hold the bitch," the leader said, his voice loaded with irritation. When Jay finally got her under control she had angled them to where she could see the others being held. Daryl watched her closely, knowing she had a plan but couldn't quite work it out.
Rick and the man were still arguing, but Daryl was focused more on the guns pointed at his friends. Suddenly Carol shouted, "Rick," drawing all the attention toward her and then so quick that Daryl almost missed what happened she slammed her knife into the leg of the man behind her. The distraction was enough to allow Rick and Daryl to take out the other two men holding Glenn and the woman.
The others gave up quickly dropping their weapons immediately and raising their hands. Daryl rushed to where Carol had gone down with the man she stabbed, but she was already standing wiping her blade on her pants. The man was moaning and cussing her. "Man shut up," Daryl grunted kicking the man in the leg, receiving a yelp in return.
"Are you OK?" he asked, as he subtlety looked for injuries.
"I'm fine," she said quickly, flashing him a smile. Rick was soon beside him asking the same. "I'm fine really, sorry about that, I couldn't think of any other way to warn you."
Rick just laughed and pulled her into a hug, "You constantly surprise me," he said simply.
The compound was soon alive with action as everyone was checked and they decided what to do with the remaining members of the attacking group. In the end it was decided to take them far from the compound and drop them off with a small amount of resources. They weren't to be trusted.
It was hours later when things slowed down and Daryl realized he hadn't seen Carol. He knocked on her door and at the muffled "Come in," he entered. She was sitting on her cot with her back against the wall, a lantern burning beside her, she looked exhausted. She offered him a smile and gestured for him to sit beside her. They sat in companionable silence.
"It gets to be almost too much sometimes," Carol spoke quietly. Daryl hummed in agreement.
As they sat there Daryl noticed Carol rubbing her shoulder, "You did get hurt," he said more gruffly than he meant to.
"I just landed a little weird when we fell to the ground. It's just sore, I'm fine." she reassured him. He looked her over closely trying to determine if she was telling the truth.
"You know you're pretty amazing." he said when she noticed him staring. At her raised brow he continued, "I mean you survived out there by yourself. I saw that house you were in, the cage. I can't imagine what that was like, but here you are alive. You only get stronger." He could tell she wasn't comfortable with his words.
He was about to say more when someone knocked on the door. It was Rick, "Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to give you these back." He handed her weapons. "I'm glad you had your knife. You shouldn't be left vulnerable like that."
She smiled at him, "Thank you."
Rick then addressed Daryl, "I'm going to need you to go on a run. We have two pregnant women who are due soon and no supplies for the babies. I already talked to Glenn and Maggie and their ready to go in the morning."
Daryl hadn't left the compound since they had gotten back with Carol. He couldn't shake the feeling that she would be gone when he got back. Knowing he didn't have much of a choice he agreed and Rick left.
The small room was silent again, Carol was fiddling with her weapons and Daryl was lost in thought. "You won't leave again will you?" Daryl heard himself say, not really even meaning to.
Carol looked at him, "I don't plan on going anywhere."
Daryl nodded, but the answer didn't make him feel any better. He startled when he felt her take his hand, "I will be here when you get back," she said emphatically.
Daryl looked deeply into her eyes and knew she was telling the truth. He squeezed her hand, "I need to go get everything ready, you look like you need to sleep anyway." Feeling awkward now he quickly slipped out of the room.
Carol watched him leave feeling guilty that she had put so much doubt into his head.
The run had ended up taking longer than anyone had expected. There had been problems with the vehicles and large clusters of walkers that had to be avoided. So now it was six days later and they were finally pulling up to the gate. Daryl was exhausted and anxious to see Carol. He had had a lot of time to think about her and his feelings and had made the decision to tell her how he really felt. A close call had reaffirmed the fact that they didn't know how long they had and he wanted to be with her for whatever time that was.
Once in the gate he looked toward the grills knowing it was time for Carol to be on dinner duty. She was there looking at him with a large smile. He started to move toward her, but stopped short when a man he vaguely recognized walked up to her and touched her arm. He flinched when the man pulled her into a hug and she went willingly. The hug was brief but when they pulled apart she kept her hand on his arm and gave him a beautiful smile.
Not wanting to see anymore he practically ran toward his tent, telling Rick he was too tired when he called his name. In his tent, the anger took over. He couldn't believe he was stupid enough to think that she would want him, or that someone else wouldn't snatch her up given the chance.
"Daryl?" It was her and he jumped and quickly laid down on his sleeping bag with his back to the front flap of the tent.
He heard the zipper being undone. "Daryl?" She said again quietly. He heard her move closer.
He knew he was being childish but he pretended to be asleep. After a minute he heard her sigh and quietly leave the tent. Turning onto his back he listened to her walking away, knowing that he had lost her, before he even knew he wanted her.
For the next two weeks Daryl worked hard at avoiding Carol, keeping a close eye on her schedule and being sure to be busy in some way. Anytime she approached him he would come up with some lame excuse and scurry away. Two days ago she had stopped approaching him. He would see her with that man and it would break his heart more and more. He would do something to make her smile or simply caress her arm or wrap her in a hug. Daryl was miserable.
He was in his tent, he told himself he was tired but he knew deep down he was hiding. He was fiddling with his crossbow when the zipper to his door was ripped open and the man he least wanted to see unceremoniously came in and flopped down on the ground beside him.
"What the hell are you doing?" Daryl spat angrily tempted to aim his bow at the arrogant asshole.
"You're hurting Carol," the man spoke calmly despite being up against an angry Dixon.
"Carols not any of my business anymore." Daryl tossed his bow aside and rose to leave the tent.
"I never pegged you for a dumb ass," the words stopped Daryl in his tracks.
The man sat calmly on the ground looking smugly up at Daryl. He had never wanted to punch someone so bad. He made a threatening move toward the man that would have caused most people to cower in fear but this man simply smirked.
"Man why are you even here. Are you gonna rub it in my face?" the man looked briefly confused and then he laughed outright.
"Oh my God you think I'm with her don't you?" The more he laughed the angrier Daryl got.
"I'm sorry," he spoke through his laughter. "She is going to laugh so hard at that. So is my husband."
Daryl's eyebrows shot up, "Um… what'd you just say?"
"I said my husband," he emphasized the word, "Will find that hilarious."
"Huh…" Daryl said dropping to the ground. "So you aren't with Carol?"
"No I just happened to offer her friendship when she really needed it. She was really upset when you all were gone so long. I found her crying one day and we started talking. She is an amazing woman. She loves you." The man finished smiling slightly.
Daryl was completely stunned. "I… I've been avoiding her. I thought you two were… well you know."
The man chuckled again.
"Your avoidance hurt her. She was just starting to accept her feelings and you showed up and were a complete asshole and you made her doubt herself."
Daryl felt horrible and moved to leave the tent, "She's not here."
The words again froze Daryl in place, "What are you talking about?"
"They left on an emergency run this morning. Something about some sick people."
Daryl felt tears forming, she was gone again. "She just left."
"What did you expect? You've been ignoring her for weeks now," even though he was annoying, the man had a point.
"You've made your point you can leave now," Daryl grated out.
When the man finally stepped out of the tent, Daryl did something he rarely did. He cried.
It had been three days since Carol had left on her run. Daryl was fidgety and anxious. Snapping at anyone who approached him. He was in his tent brooding after Rick had told him he was making everyone nervous. He kept running over all the possible things that could happen to her while out there. Thinking of what she had already been through. He eventually nodded off the lack of sleep catching up with him.
He was jolted awake by the sound of raised voices. He jumped up quickly and nearly fell as he rushed outside. There was a large crowd gathered at the gate and Daryl could see an unfamiliar car sitting just inside the compound. As he drew closer he saw Hank and Barbara who had been on the run with Carol. Panic seized him as he looked frantically for her. She wasn't with them.
As he reached them he heard Hank talking to Rick, "We were surrounded and got separated. I saw Carol go down and we lost sight of her. Shiloh and a small group we found who were coming back with us disappeared to."
Daryl groaned at the physical pain the news caused.
Hank looked at him, "They could have made it. They're strong..." He trailed off not very convincing in his statement. Daryl could only give a small nod. He felt the world closing in on him.
"We should go look for them," Glenn spoke up.
Rick was shaking his head, "No going out right now is just suicide."
Daryl knew he was right, they didn't stand a chance if the herd was really as big as Hank had said. Hanks words kept running through his head "saw Carol go down".
The next week was a blur of chaos as bad storms kept them from venturing out of the compound. On a particularly bad night they lost four trees that took out a large portion of the wall. They had been gathering building supplies and tools so they had plenty to start the reconstruction. Daryl's days were filled with physical labor and his nights were spent thinking of Carol until he was simply too exhausted to stay awake.
It had been nine days since Hank and Barbara had returned. The wall was nearly done and the weather had finally cleared. There had been a few conversations about going back out to look for the missing, but at this point there wouldn't be any way to track them left.
It was dinner time and Daryl was sitting at a table with Rick, Michonne, Glenn, and Maggie discussing what other repairs needed to be addressed, when the sound of an approaching vehicle put everyone on guard. Grabbing weapons they made their way toward the opening gates. A red van that was covered in mud and blood and Daryl could only imagine what else slowed to a stop in front of them.
The driver door opened and an unfamiliar man stepped out, then the other doors started opening and Daryl saw Shiloh step out. He looked in as bad of shape as the van was but he was smiling. He sketched a small wave and then moved toward the back of the van. When he reappeared Daryl almost dropped to his knees in relief. Shiloh was helping a limping Carol around the side of the van. She was limping and her arm was in some sort of sling and her left eye was nearly swollen shut but she was there smiling at him.
He rushed forward several steps, stopping just short of colliding with her. Standing so close to her he could see her trembling. Not wanting to hurt her anymore he simply put his forehead against hers. She sighed and closed her eyes. They simply stood there for several minutes just being together.
The sound of someone clearing their throat finally brought them apart. "Why don't you take her to James," Rick suggested if Daryl. James was the closest thing to a doctor on the compound.
After nodding they slowly started making their way to the small room they used for medical. An hour later they knew that Carol had a broken wrist, a possible broken bone in her foot, and a possible concussion.
After everyone had visited and welcomed Carol back she was left alone with Daryl. "I'm going to go get some clothes for you," at her affirmative nod Daryl rushed out the door, wanting to get back quickly.
It took him ten minutes to get back. When he walked in the door Carol smiled at him and he couldn't help his matching one. Despite how things had been when she left he could tell that's something was different now.
"I talked to James and he said absolutely no weight on your foot for the next twenty-four hours. He said that he wants to see if the swelling goes down any. So..." He stepped out the door and returned almost immediately with a slightly steaming bucket of water. "You have to settle for a sponge bath."
"Sounds promising," Carol joked. Daryl simply smirked.
Putting all of his gathered supplies down, he stood facing her. She had a slight smile and he knew she could tell he was trying not to let his embarrassment show.
"Is it OK if I help you with your shirt?" He asked softly, at her nod he moved forward. The shirt was filthy and crusted mud was sprinkled over the bed when they had finally wrestled it off. "That was wasn't too hard," Daryl said with satisfaction.
She was sitting exposed in her bra which had dirt on it as well, but he wasn't quite brave enough to suggest removing that. Dipping a rag into the water he slowly started running it over her arms and shoulders, being careful to avoid the bulky bandage on her wrist.
He tried not to think of how intimate the situation was, but it was hard with the satisfied sighs coming from Carol.
"Will it bother you if I take off my bra?" The question caught him off guard and he nearly dropped the rag, but he shook his head in the negative and helped her maneuver the garment off. He tried to be a gentleman and not peak, but failed almost immediately. Feeling guilty he looked up at Carol and to his surprise she was smirking at him. He just shrugged and went back to bathing her.
They struggled a little but eventually got her pants off. "You may as well take those off too," he said gesturing to her underwear. With a slightly embarrassed expression she agreed and they were removed. He took his time like he did with her torso and gently washed her legs, before giving her the rag and letting her handle the more intimate areas.
"Such a gentleman," Carol teased. Daryl ducked his head and smiled shyly.
Soon it was time to get her dressed again, "I got you some of the softest stuff I could find. I like to have soft clothes when I don't feel well," he explained with a shrug.
As they were shuffling around putting on her new clothes Daryl found himself unconsciously looking at her breast several times and every time she would catch him. Thankfully she didn't say anything because he already felt guilty enough.
It was bit of a struggle but they finally had her clothes and comfortable. With a quick, "Be right back," Daryl rushed out the door again.
When he came back he was carrying two bowls full of chili. "I figured you were hungry." He said quickly handing her a bowl. She balanced it on her thigh with her bandaged hand and used her good hand to feed herself. Daryl had pulled up a chair beside the bed and was digging into his own bowl. They ate in silence.
When Daryl finally finished he glanced at her and saw her watching him, "What?" He wipes his mouth thinking he had food on him.
"I like watching you eat," his eyebrow popped up causing her to laugh out. "No matter how disgusting what you eat is, like squirrel for example, you eat it like it's the best thing you've ever had. It's fascinating really." She finished with a big yawn.
Daryl stood and took her empty bowl, "I will go so you can sleep." He was surprised at the look of disappointment that flashed across her face.
She looked down at the bed, "There's plenty of room up here you know."
Daryl hesitated not sure if she was joking, but she moved over and patted the bed with her good arm. He set the bowls in a table behind him and removed his shoes before gently climbing on the bed beside her.
He sat rigidly, not sure what to do with his arms. Carol grasped his hand and shook it, "Relax, I'm not in the mood to jump you tonight." He looked at her in surprise and she laughed out again.
He joined her, the sound of her laughter was the best thing he had heard in a while. This was the Carol he remembered.
When they calmed down she relaxed against him and put her head on his shoulder. He put his own head against hers, soon they were both asleep.
Daryl was awakened by the sound of whimpers and a sharp kick in the leg. It took him only seconds to realize it was Carol having a nightmare. He over he gently shook her and she jerked awake immediately. She looked around frantically until she seemed to remember where she was and calmed down.
"Sorry," she said after seeing him watching her.
"Nothing to apologize for," she was sweating and he could still see the fear in her eyes. "Want to talk about it?"
She was shaking her head before he finished. "Wanna try and go back to sleep?"
She shook her head again, "Could we talk for just a bit? Just about anything. Distract me."
He thought for a second and then finally, "Did you get hurt just so maybe I would give you a sponge bath," he smiled when he got the desired laugh he was going for. When she stopped laughing he was serious, "What did happen?"
She shrugged a little, "You know how fast things snowball out there. We were coming out of the building and suddenly they were everywhere. I got knocked down, but the others were there immediately and helped me. Then we just started running. We were in the woods and I was distracted. I could hear walkers but I couldn't see them. I also didn't see the giant drop off either. I fell and well you can see what happened there. It was a stupid mistake," she paused seeming lost in thought. "Two of the walkers that were following us fell down after me. It was so close, they seemed so strong. I actually thought about you and how we had so much unfinished crap between us that it gave me sort boost. I know that's corny." She had her head down fiddling with a string on the blanket.
"It's not corny. I've had that same thing." Daryl couldn't help himself he needed to hold her hand. She gave his a squeeze and put her head on his shoulder. Taking a deep breath he worked up his courage, "I think we need to stop running from each other," he spoke quietly. He felt her nod against his shoulder. "We need to communicate better too. None of this just assuming the worst shit."
Carol chuckled, "We are particularly good at that aren't we."
Feeling braver now he continued, "I don't know how you feel about me, but I now I can't imagine living in the world like this without you. I don't want to not know where you are or what you're thinking. I...I...," he felt dumb saying it, but said it anyway. "I want you to be mine."
He was afraid to look at her, afraid of the rejection, but he felt her hand on his chin titling his face toward hers, "I want that too." Daryl couldn't stop his smile.
They sat in silence until, he felt her grow heavier against his side. He sat listening to her breathe until he saw the sky outside the window growing lighter. He didn't want to leave, but he had things he had responsibilities. Moving slowly and carefully he eased out of the bed. He smiled when he saw her frown slightly and reach her hand out without waking. He covered and kissed her forehead. He shook his head when he realized he was simply standing there staring, smiling like an idiot.
Outside he found Rick, "How's Carol?"
Daryl frowned when he felt the same stupid smile on his face. Clearing his throat, he said gruffly, "She's good." Rick gave him a slightly odd look, but changed the conversation to the tasks of the day.
It wasn't until late in the afternoon that Daryl had time to see Carol. When he opened the door he saw her sitting on the bed reading. When she glanced over she smiled, "OH thank God, I am so bored," she complained dramatically.
Daryl chuckled and sat in the chair beside the bed, "I figured you would be enjoying your break."
Carol sighed, "You'd think," she took his hand, "Tell me about your day."
"I've only been working on the wall, we've also been talking about ways to get more rooms or something set up. People are getting crowded. I mean you sleep in a closet."
He rolled his eyes when she sighed dramatically, "I miss my closet."
He could feel that stupid smile again, but he didn't care. "You seem to be in an awfully good mood."
"I am, I'm happy." She was smiling.
Daryl knew he had a matching one, he couldn't help it when she was so happy, "Oh yeah, any particular reason you're so happy."
Laughing she pushed his hand away. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Daryl opened it and Carl walked in carefully carrying two bowls of what looked like soup. Daryl and Carol were silent as they watched as he concentrated on not spilling the bowls, his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth. It was easy to forget he was still so young.
When he managed to pass a bowl to each of them he gave a self-satisfied smile, "Dad said that you can have the rest of the Daryl. He said he figured Carol was going stir crazy in here anyway," with that he waved and was gone.
"Well that's convenient," Carol said blowing on her soup. They ate in silence and just like the night before Daryl looked up to see her watching him. "Weirdo." She just nodded and shrugged.
When they were finished Daryl put the bowls away and moved on to the bed. They sat and held hands and simply talked about anything and everything. There was a lull in conversation and Daryl had a sudden urge, "Can I kiss you?" He asked suddenly surprising them both.
Carol nodded with no hesitation.
Daryl had thought about this many times before, but he never imagined it would happen. He didn't figure he would be this calm either. He angled himself so he could lean over her slightly, and cupped her jaw. He could feel a slight tremble in her and was relieved she was feeling it as much as him.
He moved slowly, giving her a chance to back out if she needed, but she showed no signs of hesitance. When their lips first met it was a simple caress and Daryl never felt anything so amazing. All of his kisses before were all teeth and tongue in the heat of the moment. He had never kissed anyone he cared for like he did her.
He moaned lightly when she deepened the kiss. Soon her good hand was in his hair and she was holding him to her. It was amazing. Too soon though he knew he needed to stop. They pulled apart slowly both breathing heavily.
Daryl not so subtly reached behind them and pulled the extra pillow into his lap. He was surprised to see a smirk on Carols face as she looked pleased with herself. "That was a nice first kiss," she said still looking quite pleased.
"Um...yeah I say it was pretty successful," he smacked her hand away when she ran it over the hand holding the pillow. They both burst out laughing at the situation.
