Aku came to no decision. She spent hours in her room, trying to decide on what she should do. With Kasshi she rehearsed a few directions for the conversation to go. She couldn't find anything that didn't sound blunt and unfeeling. It was amazing that she cared if she were blunt and unfeeling, considering how important it was that Touke get her way to Soufuu. Lives were in the balance, but the thought of hurting Touke, even in such a minor way, was sending powerful shivers of displeasure through her. She would do it tonight, she knew. They would be leaving for Houzan in the morning, maybe even tonight if she could push it. There was no changing that. It had to be done, and it had to be done now.
But she still couldn't decide how she was going to do it. It was a rather momentous occasion. Her whole existence centered on it. But she couldn't decide. One would think she would be prepared for this. She had spent her whole life preparing for this. But now that the moment had come, she didn't know what to do.
She decided it was probably late enough. The sun had been down for a little while now. She had been pacing around her room, trying to get her thoughts together. She still had no plan as to how she was going to do this. She would just have to work from nothing. It took a moment to collect herself, pull herself back together so she was strong enough to be around people. This whole business was taking a lot out of her. She wasn't used to this much internal conflict.
At first, on the way along the hall and down the slightly rickety stairs, her steps were slow, heavy, as though being crushed under the gravity of what she was about to do. But it seemed with each step, the burden got lighter and lighter. By the time she got to the dining room she felt she was almost flying. Immediately her eyes fell on Touke in a back corner. The feelings she had felt before, that messy confusion of physical sensations and mental wanderings, exploded to life in her head, but underlying that was a feeling of giddiness. She was happy to see Touke again, so happy. These hours apart had been too many. Her steps toward Touke were so smooth and quick this time she was pretty sure she was flying this time.
Aku flopped down into a chair next to Touke. Her momentum almost carried it over sideways. "Hi," she said immediately. She was sure her voice was near a squeal, and she knew she had a stupid grin on her face.
Touke gave her a look. It wasn't exactly a smile, but it wasn't exactly not one either. Aku found herself hoping she found her exuberance cute. "Hey, there. Has anyone told you you act like a child sometimes?"
"Repeatedly. I'm not far from being a child anyway."
Now Touke frowned. Aku got the impression it was directed inward. "Really? How old are you?"
"Only fifteen," Aku admitted. The way Touke was looking at her, she almost felt it was a crime. She tried not to shrink too much.
Touke let out a sigh. "So young."
"How old are you?"
"That depends on how you mean," she said after a short pause.
Aku considered that for a moment. Then her eyes widened. "You're a sennin?"
"Used to be. Gave it up," Touke said with a shrug.
"If you were a sennin what are you doing working here?"
Touke shrugged again. "I was a servant anyway. Not a big change."
"Why did you give it up?"
"Everyone who knew me on the outside was dead. Very lonely."
Aku thought she understood what that would be like. But she felt a little guilty. If Touke were to become Kyou-Ou, she would once again be immortal. Everyone she knew would die and she would live on—assuming she didn't lose the Way right away. Those were depressing thoughts, the both of them. But really, Touke was already the queen, as far as Aku was concerned. Everyone else just had to realize it. "So how old were you before?"
"Twenty three."
"How old are you now? Physically."
"Twenty seven -ish."
Wow. Aku was pretty young, compared to Touke. This was kind of intimidating. She was sure Touke could see her as nothing more than a child. The thought aggravated her more than a little. She wanted Touke's respect, needed it, and wasn't sure she'd be able to get it. She decided to joke about it. "Well, I hope you can tolerate this little child."
This time, Touke's near-smile seemed nearer to blossoming. "For a little child, you're not bad."
"I suppose I should take that as a compliment."
Touke shrugged. "I was thinking about getting some liquor. Do you want anything?"
"I've never had any before." Could Kirin even drink liquor? She didn't know. She didn't see why not. Suddenly she was curious: was she even capable of becoming intoxicated? There was much about Kirin physiology that still went without being understood, and she wasn't sure she'd ever read or been told about this particular thing. "I can try, I guess."
"I'll just get a bottle then. Be right back."
Aku watched Touke walk away. Very closely. Tingles ran across her skin and her hands started shaking. She clenched her fists and took a moment to simply breathe. Then another one. She suddenly felt like she wasn't getting enough air. It took some effort to breathe normally, and not start hyperventilating again. She needed to get herself calmed before Touke got back. In the end she barely managed it.
Touke arrived with a bottle and a pair of cups. "Sorry I took so long. Got held up."
"Not a problem." Honestly, Aku had hardly noticed the passage of time.
With a sigh, Touke sat in her chair again. Aku noticed that Touke's chair was noticeably closer to hers. Breathe. Breathe. She had never imagined she could be so nervous. Touke poured some of the liquor into the cups, and slid one toward Aku. "Cheers." She downed her cup in one gulp, and set it down, a slight grimace running across her face.
Aku decided to imitate her. She nearly spit it right back out. The liquor was bitter, almost acrid, and she felt like the inside of her mouth were burning. She somehow managed to swallow it, though it took great effort, and the drink seemed to scorch her throat on the way down. Not nearly as bad as meat, though still the second most disgusting thing she had ever had in her mouth. She let out a long shudder. Touke had a slight smirk on her face. "How do people drink that?"
"It takes some getting used to." Touke moved to refill their cups.
Aku covered her cup with her hand before Touke could get to it. "No. I'm done."
"That was fast."
"I don't want to scar the inside of my mouth."
Now Touke really did smile. It was pretty often that Aku got a sense of accomplishment in making people smile, but nothing like this. She would surely explode simply trying to contain the impossible feeling of giddiness that surged to life in her. "That's okay. I'll just drink by myself."
"If I'm sitting right next to you, you're not drinking by yourself."
"I guess not," Touke said with a shrug. "Maybe hold myself back, though."
"I don't mind."
"If I drink too much, I may lose control of myself."
Aku frowned. She could tell Touke meant something by that. "What?"
There was a mischievous glint in Touke's eyes that sent a thrill through her. "You're pretty cute, you know."
She had thought the giddiness before had been powerful. It was nothing compared to this. She was dizzy with it, enough that the world swirled around her. Touke had complimented her! She was sure she had never been so happy in her life. It took a moment for her to realize what Touke was implying. Against her will, she felt her face flush. Was she embarrassed? What was she embarrassed about? That was exactly what she wanted. "I don't mind. Do what you want." She was pretty sure she wouldn't resist this woman in anything. She didn't have the heart to. "So where are you from? Originally."
"Kyou." Of course, Aku had already known that. "Nowhere special. Just some little village in the middle of nowhere. There wasn't nobody what care about us. You?"
She almost said Houzan. Instead she decided to hide her identity a little longer and said, "Kyou as well. Ten Province. Not far from the capital."
"You must have been rich, way you talk." She downed another cup. "But you said you was a servant."
"It's a long story." Aku really didn't know what to say. She wouldn't be able to string up enough lies to be convincing. "How did you come to be a sennin? You said you were a servant."
Touke shrugged. "I got tired of being a farmer. Pledged myself to someone high up. Joined his staff."
"And he made you a sennin?" said Aku with a frown.
"You need to be a sennin to serve a sennin, right? Else it would be a pain to learn new faces." That made a strange sort of sense. She knew many of the servants in the capitol were sennin, but she hadn't expected that to apply elsewhere as well. "You said you was a servant. Who you serve?"
Aku noticed Touke's rural accent was getting thicker. She didn't know if it was because she was letting her guard down or just the alcohol. Aku decided to answer honestly. "Kyou-Ou."
That widened Touke's eyes. "There is no Kyou-Ou," she said after a moment.
"Even so." Aku gave her a smile that she hoped wasn't giving too much away. She wasn't sure how a smile could give her away, but she supposed it was possible.
They talked for a while. Aku managed to pull off a gradual interview, though the information she got was pretty superficial. Somehow she did that while revealing very little of herself. Every once in a while throughout their conversation, she would feel the most intense flashes of happiness, so powerful she could hardly imagine anything greater. Even between those flashes, she was kept at an elevated state of pleasure. Nothing, she was sure, could bring her down from this height.
"I swear," Touke said at one point. "We had to have met before."
Aku smiled. "I don't think we have." That would be pretty much impossible, unless Touke had taken a shouzan. Which she very much doubted.
"I dunno. I just feel like I know you."
There was another of those flashes of ecstatic euphoria. Did this mean Touke was feeling their connection too? That had to be it. She could hardly contain herself. She wanted to jump up and down, spin in a circle, let out some of her giddiness and nervous energy. Of course she couldn't. That would make too much of a spectacle of herself, and probably put off Touke. "I do too. Since I saw you I've felt we were connected somehow."
"Hmm." Touke seemed to be considering something, so Aku waited for her to speak her thoughts. "I kinda wanna explore this."
"Explore how?"
There was that glint in her eyes again. "Somewhere private. You got a room?"
The giddiness turned into the most extreme nervousness she had ever felt. Her mouth instantly dried. She withstrained the urge to swallow or collapse into herself, but even so it was hard to keep control of herself. As surreptitiously as possible, she took a deep breath to keep herself calm. "Yes, I do."
"Let's go." Touke jumped to her feet, slightly unsteadily for a moment, but she quickly balanced herself. Following her lead, they reversed and Aku then led her up to her room. All awhile, she felt Touke behind her as a tangible presence, almost as though they were touching. She had to take a few more calming breaths. Soon she was unlocking the door, and they were inside. Then she had to take a few more calming breaths. "Relax, Aku," Touke said with a slight smile. "Not gonna do nothing. It was just stuffy in there."
That didn't set Aku's nerves at ease at all. Even so, she nodded at Touke's words. "Nothing special, I know."
"The room?" asked Touke with a frown. "I knew what it would be like. I clean these out a hundred times." Aku hadn't really been talking about the room, but that's okay.
So they talked some more, about nothing in particular, really. Aku told a few stories of her childhood, doing her best to hide her abilities, or the fact that she was raised by nyosen. That took a little editing. Touke talked about her eighty years as a servant, and eventually starting work at this place. How it was sad there were refugees everywhere, how terrible their lives were. Touke said at one point she hoped Kyou-Ou would be chosen soon, so everything could get fixed up. She actually used the phrase "that damn Kirin," which made Aku a little uncomfortable. All while they talked, sitting on the bed, Touke seemed to gradually get closer and closer to her. Aku's heart thudded in her throat harder and harder as she neared.
Eventually Touke broke off, and just stared at Aku. Aku stared right back. "I know I said I ain't gonna do nothing," she started.
Aku had to resist the urge to swallow again. "But?"
"Stop me if you don't want this." Without giving her time to react, Touke quickly leaned forward and kissed her.
It was nothing like when she had kissed Mei. This time trumpets did indeed go off in her head. She suddenly felt hot, like she were burning from the inside. It was similar to blood sickness, but where that felt painful this felt amazing. She was suddenly a little dizzy again. Her heart started beating in a frantic staccato rhythm. Touke's lips against hers—soft, warm, smooth—was simply the best thing she had ever felt
Touke started pulling away, but Aku followed her, keeping their lips together. She could feel Touke laugh slightly in the back of her throat. It seemed like they kissed forever, the pressure in Aku building. This time it didn't surprise her when their tongues met. Immediately, Touke made a noise. For a moment Aku worried she tasted bad. But it seemed to be the opposite. After making her light sound, Touke pushed harder against her, faster, enough that Aku was having trouble keeping up. But that was okay. She was getting lost in the heat and the less than simple feelings of their mouths dancing.
Touke started pushing further against her. It was obvious what she was communicating, so without letting them separate, Aku slowly leaned backward and to the side until she was laying down on the bed. She felt she was drowning in Touke, her tongue in her mouth, the pressure of her body on her. She didn't mind the feeling at all. It didn't take much longer for Touke to start frantically scrabbling at her clothes. Aku's heart beat faster and faster, the pressure in her building harder. As Touke started undressing her, she separated from Aku's mouth, and moved her lips next to her ear. "Oh, Heaven," she hissed, her breathing heavy. "You taste so fucking good." A wave of happiness, that she could please Touke so, rushed through her. It was good she tasted good, very good.
Distantly, somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered Mei, not the governor, had said the same thing. Maybe it was because she was a Kirin. If she tasted good to youma, why not humans?
It seemed it only took seconds for Touke to undress her, and soon she was lying naked on the bed. She tried not to shake with her nervousness and excitement. She wasn't embarrassed, not exactly; she spent a lot of time naked around the nyosen. But she was nervous. She wanted to be attractive to Touke, she needed to be. Her anxiety bubbled in her throat right next to her heart. She waited for a sign that Touke didn't like what she was seeing, some sign that she was going to be cast aside so quickly.
Such a sign didn't come. In fact, Touke barely seemed to notice. Again she attached her mouth to Aku's, taking away her ability to breathe. She ran her free hand along Aku's side, taking away her ability to make coherent thoughts. Touke's hand against her bare skin felt so unbelievably good she was sure her skin was expanding outward to meet her touch. Her lungs burned for air but she ignored it.
Then Touke left her mouth. She kissed a line across her face and down to her neck. Aku turned her head to give Touke better access, and her breath hitched as Touke met skin. She hadn't known her neck could be this sensitive. Waves of pleasure ran through her with each touch, forcefully dashing her thoughts against the rocks. She managed to let out a moan through her frantic breaths. As Touke worked her way downward the pressure in her built until she was sure she was going to burst. This was all so much she felt she couldn't take much more. She felt like Touke was going to tear her to pieces with her touch. She had no will to stop her. Soon she had absolutely no ability to think, mind disordered by body.
Without a thought, she gave herself up to Touke completely.
