It had taken her a long time to fall asleep. In her mind she could not stop seeing Mr Bates' sad eyes, or repeating his words and, above it all, hearing his sobbing when he had thought he had been on his own. A part of Anna wished she had not seen it, and she vowed he would never find out she had.
Tired, sad, and consequently grumpy she finally stood up at dawn, even before Daisy knocked on her door at six. She had been tossing and turning for what seemed like ages. If she was to face the day, she could as well start now.
It felt as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Anna hardly spoke a word while tidying up the rooms downstairs, and Gwen did not ask her a thing either.
"I'm sorry Mr Bates is going, he is nice," the younger maid had said the night before, when she had been about to go to bed.
"Sorry?" despite what Anna had told Mr Bates earlier, she had scoffed at the word. "I'm not just sorry, I'm furious! You know it was that hag O'Brien!"
Gwen had looked at her intently. "You can't prove it."
Anna had just grunted. The younger maid had been right, of course, but that did not make the situation any easier.
Now Gwen seemed to have realised Anna's temper had not improved overnight and Anna was grateful for that. She was most definitely not in the mood for small talk.
For a wild moment she had considered waiting for Mr Bates to come down, before he would go to the station, to say good-bye. A second later she was thinking how silly that idea was. She had told him all she had dared the night before, there was nothing to add and she very much doubted it would make him feel any better. He had not been down for breakfast and she was not surprised; probably he had gone out quite early to avoid meeting everybody.
Lady Mary had not ringed for her. According to the gossip downstairs, she had been hoping the Duke would propose and he had not. It was no wonder she was not in a hurry to see him off. The problem was, not helping her left Anna with nothing to do but stare at her cup of tea and, every minute or so, taking a glance at the clock on top of the mantelpiece.
When O'Brien entered the servants' hall and sat down, smirking, Anna thought that was the final straw. She was just not up to face her, and without a word she stood up and left. She was sure there must be something she could do while waiting for the girls to wake up. Whatever there was, it would be surely much bearable than to see O'Brien's silent gloat or wait for any dry remark on the leaving of Mr Bates.
One of the maids was climbing down the stairs, a bundle of dirty sheets under her arm.
"I'll take it to the laundry," Anna said, taking the bundle off the maid's arms and ignoring her surprised look.
She was almost sure she heard O'Brien say something about bad temper in the morning before closing the door at her back. How she was going to get through the day, she had no idea. And never mind the day. Suddenly she realised that Mr Bates not being there meant that she would have to cope O'Brien and Thomas' nastiness without the conspiratorial glances exchanged with him. The thought sunk her spirits even lower.
Going back to the house she wished for any of the girls to be up, while making plans for alternative tasks in case they were not.
Only, the sight of somebody made her stop.
Mr Bates was crossing the courtyard, carrying his suitcase; he was heading towards the back door.
"Mr Bates!" She called after him before even thinking. What was he doing here? "I thought you were supposed to leave early. Did you forget something?"
He stopped on his tracks, turned around to face her, and sighed deeply. "I… I have to apologise to you, Anna."
"What ever for?" she said, frowning. If somebody should be doing some sort of apology, that was surely she, after having intruded the night before.
"You asked me to write when I was settled," he was speaking slowly, "and I let you believe I would but… the fact is, I don't think I will. It won't do."
"Oh," she said, looking at her feet. Her face felt hot and she realised she had been fidgeting. It had been very silly of her to ask that, and he had been so kind. But of course, why would he feel compelled to write to somebody he had known for just some weeks. Somebody with whom he had no attachment whatsoever.
"It would not make sense, you see," Mr Bates continued, and now Anna wished he would stop explaining. It was humiliating enough as it was.
"There's no need for-"
"It would not make sense to write to you," he talked a little louder to drown her voice, "if I'm going to sit next to you every day. I think that whatever I might want to tell you, and beware there might be plenty, I'd rather do it in person."
Now she was properly confused. Was he actually saying that-?
Still flushed she looked up. Mr Bates was beaming, and mischievous laughter was dancing in his eyes.
"Why you silly-" she refrained herself just in time. "Are you saying you're staying then?"
He nodded once. "Apparently, for the time being."
Now she was beaming, too.
"Well, I'm ever so glad."
He looked at her for what felt like a long moment.
"I'll better go upstairs to put this away," he gave his suitcase a little shake and Anna felt foolish she had been keeping him standing there, loaded with extra weight.
He had just walked a few steps when sudden inspiration hit her.
"Mr Bates," she called him. He turned around, eyebrows raised. "Would you mind if I'd walk in with you?"
"Not at all," he said, and she felt some sort of explanation was needed.
"I just wish to see Miss O'Brien's face when she sees you're back."
- The End -
AN: This leaves us right at the end of series 1, episode 1.
I will continue to follow Anna and Mr Bates because they are great fun to write. The story will be called "Getting to love you".
Thank you very very much for your amazing support! Your reading and reviewing have made my day. Special thanks to Isis the Dog, Eva, Latitude24, Awesomegreentie, Skeeter0003, JChase, Shani21, terriejane and all the guest reviewers!
