I took a deep breath. Lately it has been almost unbearable to see Shawn. Whenever I'm near him, I can't look in his eyes without my face exploding in colors or my stomach feeling like it was going to let lose my breakfast. Whenever we brush against each other, it feels like my skin is on fire and lightning passing through. Whenever we kiss, I just melt and be in a daze for a long time. My mind almost always goes to him. I always want to be near him, but I can't because of my crush.
I'm sick of feeling this way. I've decided to confess my feelings and hope for the best— maybe that would diminish them.
He's going to hate you. He's going to avoid you and tell everyone about your sexuality. The news will reach the gang and they will hate you. Your future will be ruined.
Even so, I should do this; set things straight. There is that small chance.
I walked down the emptying hallways, jogging down the final staircase. I was about to step on the last few steps when giggles stopped me. I looked up from my feet and froze. Leaning against the lockers was Shawn. A girl stood in front of him, huge smile plastered on her face. She was leaning close to Shawn. Her mouth moved, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I slid back to a blind spot. I wanted to pry my head away and find another way to get to the track, but something told me to stay.
The girl leaned in, raised up on her tippy toes. She forced her mouth on top of his.
My heart stopped beating and I turned away to jog back upstairs. At least I know my answer without confronting him. For some reason, finding out this way hurts. I mean it's supposed to be like that— him with a girl. I guess seeing him with another was worse than him just saying 'ew' or 'no'. It's better this way. It was wrong to think I even had the slightest chance with him.
I don't feel like going to practice today. I left the school and went back home.
"You're home early," Soda said, coming out from the kitchen with a slice of cake in hand.
"Yeah, it was canceled," I lied, slowly walking towards my room, an indicator that I didn't want to talk.
"Alright." Soda seemed to get the hint and went back in the kitchen after giving me a worried look.
I entered my room, flopping on my bed, curling up in a loose ball. What am I supposed to do now? I definitely can't see Shawn. I need to stop thinking of him. Every time I think of him, I think of that girl kissing him. To stop thinking of him, I would have to stop seeing him; stop letting him take advantage of me.
The next test for Shawn came up next week. We had planned prior (before I saw the kiss) for it. I was walking down the hallway, shrouded in the bustling hallways. Through the gaps between students, I saw Shawn slip into the closet. I walked right past it to my next period.
During lunch, I was heading out to go visit Soda and eat lunch there. Along the way, I caught Shawn glaring at me. I looked away and left the school. Again, I skipped track practice.
o-o-o
My back slammed against the lockers. My shirt was balled up into two fists. "What the hell are you planning?" Shawn asked.
"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at the bridge of his nose to not stare at his eyes.
"You're not showing up in the closet or practice."
"I'm just not in the mood, okay? Let me go."
Shawn reluctantly let go of me but still had his eyes locked on me. I backed away from him before he could try anything.
"Good. Now leave me alone. I'm done with helping you."
"You can't stop!" Shawn looked angry… but also sad? It was probably nothing.
"Well I am." I flipped him off and walked off, blinking away the upcoming tears. Was this the best decision? I turned my head back, but quickly turned my attention forward when I saw Shawn looking at me with that girl attached to his back.
o-o-o
A month has passed since I told Shawn off. Shawn haven't left that girl's side. They were always clinging onto each other and sucking faces, much to my disgust. The coach is going over to him every day now and yelling. It was probably about his fast dropping grades. I continued to ignore him. He would try to catch my eyes but I would divert it someplace else. He would try to catch up with me, but I would quicken my pace and find a hiding spot until he passes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my desk, slightly slouched over. My eyes went to the clock and to the teacher. I really needed to go to the restroom— like, now. I stood up as casually I can without having to go the restroom even more, grabbed something from my folder, and placed it on the teacher's desk in front of the class. I then exited to go to the nearest restroom.
It was empty inside, making it less awkward to relieve myself in one of the middle urinals (and following the male urinal rule simultaneously).
After finishing up, the door opened, and before I could react, I was pushed farther into the large bathroom. "You need to help me," Shawn began. I glared at him.
"Why would I?" I asked back, crossing my arms.
"What the hell is up with you? Why are you avoiding me?"
"That's none of your business."
"It is if it involves me."
Should I do it? Should I tell him? Would that get him to back off? "I just feel used, that's all."
There was a pause, like he was thinking of a reply. "Alright… then why do you always glare whenever I'm with Tanya?"
"I don't know what you mean…" The tables had turned, and now I was once again cornered.
"Don't say that bullshit, you know exactly what I mean. You act like you're jealous or something? Is that what is making you feel used? What, do you like me or something?"
"Yes, I do like you!" I finally snapped, eyes opening as wide as plates when I realized what I had just said. Shawn's frown loosened up and he looked at me with slightly softer eyes.
"Really?"
"N-No, of course not!" I tried to fix, but my voice wavered. It did not sound convincing at all.
Shawn smirked, grabbing both of my wrists in one hand and pushing me against the wall. His head leaned against his raised wrists and he looked down at me with amused eyes. My body slightly shook and my ears reddened. "Are you sure? You're voice doesn't seem to agree. Say that again looking me in the eye." His other hand grabbed my shin, forcing me to look up. Our faces were close, noses almost touching.
"N-I…" The longer I stared in his eyes, the more my mind was becoming blank. The more I melted in his gaze. The more I realized how much I still love him. "I like you…" I finally murmured.
His smile brightened and he moved his forehead to rest on mine. "I like you too," he answered. My breath hitched and huge weights were lifted from my shoulder. He had to be kidding. "I kept this from you because of the school. I also didn't think you liked me back."
"Ditto."
Shawn came in, gently kissing me. I slowly kissed back to match his speed. The kiss was short though as I was slightly caught off guard and Shawn needed an air break since we switched bodies. When I caught my breath, I quickly went in for another kiss, feeling confident. This time, it caught him off guard and when we switched again, I had tear away because I was short on breath. Kissing for a period of time is hard like this. Shawn chuckled, probably thinking of the same thing I was; I joined in, but it was cut short when I saw the bathroom door closing. I stared at the door blankly. Someone was in here. They saw the kiss. Did they see me? Did they see Shawn?
"Are you okay?" Shawn asked.
I looked back over to him and put on a fake smile. "No, nothing's wrong. Just… thinking about you and Tanya. You're always kissing…so…"
"Nothing's going on with us. She always jumps on me and clings onto me and kisses me without my consent. I hate it, but I can't do anything because of the guys. She probably thinks we're a couple or something; I need to make things clear with her."
I nodded and he continued, "Speaking of couples, how about we go a bit down south to the countryside over the weekend? It will only be for a few hours. I just want to show you a spot and a take you to a nice diner."
I nodded, happy that we're going to go on our first date, but I kept thinking about the door. Someone was in here. Something's bad going to happen, I feel it.
o-o-o
It's so hard to keep reminding myself to keep this story acceptable for rated T.
Replies:
Seth Clearwater: There was a slight change in the plot I gave you over PM. Hope you don't mind. I just thought of a better idea.
Pony'sgirlfriend: Actually, I had no clue why they had switched bodies. I just made it so that the eclipse made them not able to switch back until it ended. I just randomly did that. I like your explanation better :) That's totally it now. About the fandom, not too long ago I was talking to a friend and they decided to say, "mafia for life." Of course, I needed to bring in the Outsiders and said, "1966 greasers for life. No mafia. We must do this for Johnny; stay gold for Johnny!" And he decided to say, "You know it's 'stay golden' right?" I blew up on him, like I was so angry. I was up on his business and bashing on him and all that. I defended our fandom from that inferior moment ;-;
saiyan angel blue: Totally, but hopefully minus the death because it's Romeo and Romeo instead of Romeo and Juliet. I don't know. I hope my mind doesn't decide to kill both of them off in the last second. It has the tendency to do that.
staygold-fandom: That chapter was a huge psyche. It goes one wat then right when it's about to reach something, it was moved out of the way to another ending. It's like when people move away their hand during a high-five.
