Days went on and I kept receiving daily beating from my classmates. The gang and Shawn are starting to notice my wincing and limps but I still kept everything from everyone. I just had to keep it a secret. If they act like how my school does… I won't be able to take it. But it's so hard to keep it away from Two-Bit, Steve, and Johnny since they do go to my school. It was also hard to keep this from my brothers, especially Soda.
I was resting my bruised body on my bed after school since I didn't feel like my body could take more abuse during track practice. I told Shawn that I had a lot of homework but I kept making stupid excuses to skip. I'll probably be kicked of the team soon.
A nock sounded on my door before opening and Johnny slipped in. "Hey Johnny," I greeted, putting up a fake smile. Worry was written on his face. Something was wrong. I feared for the worse.
"Hey," he replied.
"What's up?"
Johnny walked up to me, sitting down on the desk chair. "Are… Are you okay?"
My smile faltered. He knew. "I'm fine. Why'd you ask?"
"I've been hearing rumors at school about you so…"
I was frowning now. "You heard…"
"Are you really…"
I didn't even have to talk for him to know the answer. He could read it on my face. I couldn't look at him anymore, fearing for the worse. Johnny knows… What would he think about a disgusting someone like me now?
"It's okay," Johnny continued. My head snapped up. "You're still you, Ponyboy – nothing changes."
"You… You don't think I'm disgusting?"
"No. I don't see anything wrong with who you like. Love has no gender."
I was relieved. My heart calmed down and I could look up again. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "So what are you going to do?" I asked after I could speak again.
"What do you want me to do?"
"Please, don't tell anyone," I pleaded. "Not even about what's going on in school."
"You should tell them."
"I can't. You don't understand. Please don't tell them."
Johnny nodded. "They're going to find out sooner or later."
He was right, they were going to find out. Steve and Two-Bit would soon find out at school and I'm sure Darry and Soda were going to notice something different and have them check what was wrong. Dally was going to notice Johnny being strange and pressure him into talking. But Johnny only knows about the rumors and my sexuality, not about the beatings or who I'm dating. Then they'll get mad at me even more for keeping a secret like this. But they won't understand how vital this secret is.
o-o-o
The hallways were calmer than they usually were. I wasn't pushed around in the hallways, just had glares sent my way and a few words spat at me. I hurried to my locker, head down. My hangs nimbly put in the combination and stumbled with opening the locker. I grabbed my books, stuffing them in my bag. Something bad was going to happen. It was the calm before a storm.
Classes went on and hardly anything happened. It was like most of the school had just moved on, but I knew that was a lie. I hear the whispers.
Lunch came by before I knew it. Half way done. Problems, though, started during that time.
I was grabbed and pushed against the wall as I was walking out towards the parking lot. A fist collided with my cheek and I sank to the ground, banging my head against the wall. For a moment, my vision wavered. I looked up, head hurting to see a group of Socs—Shawn's friends to be exact. To make it all worse, Shawn was standing there; not doing anything. Our eyes met, his eyes filled with worry, before my head was jerked away by a kick which got me crashing to the ground.
"Hey, let's go, I'm hungry," Shawn suggested, frantically.
"No way! This disgusting fag needs to pay for ruining my appetite," one rejected. The others agreed. Another kick impaled with my stomach. I curled up in a ball as they kept kicking my body and spitting out cruel names and nasty insults. And through that, Shawn just stood there, doing nothing.
"Shawn, join us in beating this fag up."
"No. I'm hungry, let's go," Shawn brought up again.
"Fuck, Shawn, are you being a pussy? Don't tell me that you feel sorry for this fag?"
Shawn was silent like he was pondering his choices. Was he really thinking of joining them and beating me up? The pain of the blows wasn't as painful as what Shawn was doing.
"I don't feel sorry for this faggot!" Shawn snapped. My eyes widened and it felt like my heart was ripped to shreds. I would rather have Shawn hit me than call me that word. I no longer felt the pain from the beating — I felt nothing, numb.
I stood up as the others were turned to Shawn, causing attention to be turned to me. One of them pushed me but I just stumbled back. My eyes were locked on Shawn's. I couldn't put up any emotions. My mask was shattered from the blow that Shawn gave me. "We're over," I mumbled just loud enough for Shawn and his friends to hear. His eyes widened and he shook his head. I gave him no other words or look. I pushed past them, using their confusion from my two words. I headed out to the parking lot, limping, but I didn't stop. I left the school, heading home.
No one was home so I could easily head to bed. I didn't feel like doing anything else today. All I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep. I want to just sleep the rest of the day. Hopefully in the morning I would feel something. I hate feeling nothing. I rather feel pain than nothing.
o-o-o
Replies:
Pony'sgirlfriend: You will know the answer soon, don't worry.
Amanda: That was the first and last date I will write about, sadly. I'm just not good at writing dates. If you want to make up dates during the time from last chapter to this, you can.
Saiyan angel blue: I mean, I can get Ponyboy shot in this story. Do you want to see him get shot or someone get shot? I don't really mind writing about that. I can probably fit it in really well if you think that would be interesting.
White collar black wolf: Awe, thanks. I hope you like this chapter too. You probably liked but hated this chapter in the same time.
BunnyluvsU: Is he using him? ;) So far, no one knows. So far. I know you know it's coming soon, very soon.
