A/N: I'm back! And with more and more sleepless nights, I decided to write some more!
Warning: Written at random in the middle of the night, contains large amounts of insanity, slight spoilers, ooc
Disclaimer: I don't own the Nanoha franchise...and thank goodness for that, I'd abuse Starlight Breaker if I did…
It was just like any other normal day in Mid-Childa, the birds were singing, the sky was clear, and large energy beams were fired from the sky burning all that stood below.
The one who fired said beams stood in the sky, suspended only by small energy wings on her shoes, as the smoke around her cleared revealing who she was.
There stood Nanoha in all her glory. With a stoic expression devoid of emotion she spoke with only a hint of irritation in her voice.
"Subaru-san, I have told you countless times…" her tone became pleasant and polite, almost casual. Like a mother scolding her child her voice was soft, "I am not Takamachi Nanoha…"
Lowering herself to the ground, she pointed her device at the fallen blue-haired girl and simply said "…I am Stern. Stern the Destructor, please do not make that mistake again."
Teana Lanster suddenly rushed towards her unconscious friend's side, grabbing her while simultaneously using Cross Mirage to create illusions to mislead their enemy.
Stern could only look on towards the many copies with uninterested eyes and sigh in her head as she wondered just exactly how they managed to get to this point.
Yesterday Morning…
It all started in Midori-ya, Stern and Nanoha were chatting about trivial things. Sitting parallel to one another they seemed like mirror opposites, with twenty-four year old Nanoha happily going full force at her parfait and physically nine year old, real age unknown, Stern lazily stirring her cup of coffee.
"As the Material of Wisdom, I regret to say that this coffee is terrible" Stern continued to lazily stir her coffee while taking sips every few moments. Her uncaring facade however was just a front that hid the deep philosophical thoughts going on in her mind, 'seriously how can a person screw up black coffee?'
"Um…it was probably Miyuki onee-chan…", still happily digging at her parfait Nanoha answered bluntly. "She usually isn't allowed to cook, but when she does…"
"HEY! I take offense to that!" the person in question Miyuki Takamachi walked towards them wearing an apron and carrying a jug coffee. "Would you like some more coffee-"
SLAM!
The entrance to Midori-ya was violently shoved open. The door couldn't take the pressure and snapped off its hinges, falling to the ground as a golden haired girl ran in at what would seem like sonic speeds. Nanoha's girlfriend Fate Testarossa Harlaown had entered Midori-ya.
"Na…no…ha!" gasping for breath she grabbed on to a table thinking it was Nanoha and managed to calm down.
"Fate-chan!?" Nanoha was utterly caught off guard by the fact her girlfriend was there, the last time she saw Fate, the Enforcer was sprawled out on their mattress, asleep, and all the way back on Mid-Childa!
"Midori-ya!" Miyuki too was shocked, mainly at the damage done to the entrance during her shift. 'This is so going to come out of my salary!'
Fate had caught her breath and now noticed Nanoha's panicked gaze. She then promptly began to explain just what was so dire that she had to travel across worlds to tell her girlfriend.
"Nanoha, while I was asleep I came to realize something important" Fate looked over to the girl sitting parallel to Nanoha, with a serious expression. "And it involves Stern too…"
"How many times must I tell you? I am not Nano-…ha? I'm sorry, but could you please repeat that once more?" Stern became speechless, and exchanged questioned looks with her original.
"It involves you too Stern" Fate repeated just as seriously. Turning towards Nanoha her voice was low and professional. "Nanoha, your extended leave from the TSAB ends today. You have to return to Mid-Childa tomorrow right?"
"Y-Yes is there a problem Fate-chan?" Nanoha had never seen Fate as serious as she was now.
"While asleep it came to me in a dream…" Fate stated, "I came to realize that Stern isn't Nanoha"
"Is that all?" Stern couldn't help but interject. 'Two major incidents involving the Materials, multiple attempts at convincing Fate otherwise, even more explanations of how I couldn't possibly be Takamachi Nanoha, and she's finally convinced by a dream!?'
"I'll get straight to the point" Fate was now completely business-like, "Nanoha, if we have Stern and Levi go back to TSAB in our place, then we could take a private "off the books" vacation on Earth without anyone missing us. All while Vivio is taken care of by Hayate back on Mid! We could do so many perverted things together with no one else knowing!"
As if on cue Nanoha somehow managed to face-palm, face-table, and face-wall at the same time. Turning towards a blushing Miyuki she asked "Did I really just hear what I heard?" and after seeing Miyuki nod she decided to repeat the process once again.
"I apologize for interrupting your fantasy, but I'd like to point out a major flaw within your insane plan" Stern suddenly brought everyone back to reality. Even Fate was partially paying attention. "I look nothing like Nanoha, nor do I act anything like her. No one will ever buy such an act when you compare an eternally nine year old body like mine to a bombshell babe like her."
"That's right Fate-chan, no one will believe that Stern and I are the same person! Wait what?" She silently cursed herself for thinking thoughts like, 'well other than you I mean' and 'damn right I have a nice body'. She bit her tongue just in case.
"Well other than Fate-san, of course" and it turned out to be completely useless, because there was someone who had similar thoughts, but less restraint, stirring her coffee right across from her.
"Don't worry, I already told Shari to have our teleporter look faulty then explode after sending them to the ship. That way it'll look like we got affected during the jump and de-aged, changing our appearances!" Fate was no longer listening to reason.
"Fate-chan we can't execute such an insanely elaborate plan on a whim." Nanoha tried to save her friend's sanity. "Such a plan will never be used, the Materials are their own individuals. Levi and Stern have their own lives with Yuri-chan. They deserve better than to be called on by us for something so-"
CRASH!
A short haired brunette suddenly fell from the skies and violently came crashing in through the window. Hitting the floor the girl continued rolling until she stopped directly underneath Miyuki's skirt and lay down facing upward.
"WHY THE HELL CAN'T ANY OF YOU COME IN NORMALLY!?" Miyuki was now having trouble at keeping both her anger and her swords from suddenly coming out and cutting everything up. Any further damage to the café would only cause more trouble for her.
"Ah, how mean. That airplane was the one who clipped me off first!" saying that in a teasing manner, with an unmistakable Kansai accent she smiled. "Still I would've never expected you to wear those kinds of panties…"
"Oh it's just Hayate huh?" Miyuki said trying to suppress a blush. She was already too used to the brunette's frequent antics.
Yagami Hayate got up and brushed the dirt off her clothes. "Even though I had something important to tell Nanoha~"
"It wouldn't by any chance be related to a dream would it?" Stern just stopped caring.
"Huh? What do you mean? I have dreams, like going to Comiket tomorrow, making lots of cosplay, but they're all impossible because of work."
"That's what I mean! Nanoha take a look at Hayate, with my plan we can do whatever we want!" the person known as Fate Testarossa Harlaown was never one keen on giving up.
"Plan? What plan?" Hayate wasn't about to be left out of something potentially fun. "As your superior in the TSAB I order you to tell me of this plan."
After a lengthily explanation and two cups of bad coffee later, Hayate understood the basic situation and why Fate was suddenly missing from her apartment this morning. Hayate then took a serious look at Fate.
"Fate-chan…" Hayate spoke loudly and clearly. "You're an absolute genius! Why didn't I ever think of that!? This means that so long as I can convince the King to fill in for me I can go to Comiket!"
"By the way, Hayate-chan, what was the reason that you came here?" Nanoha asked while playing with her spoon. "It seems like you had something urgent to tell me."
"Oh right! I almost forgot. The entire reason why I rushed over here without a second thought was because if I didn't tell you you'd probably kill me." Hayate said matter-of-factly. "Thing is, Vivio and Einheart are planning to go out on a date dubbed "training session". Just the two of them tomorrow morning."
"Training session you say? Just the two of them? Nya…ha…ha…ha…" Nanoha's face suddenly took on a dark look as she snapped her spoon in half. "Ha ha…I see" flashing a sadistic smile she then said "don't worry Vivio, Nanoha-mama's going to protect you….it'll just hurt a bit so bear with it…"
"W-W-Wait, Nanoha don't do anything rash!" Fate searched desperately for an excuse, anything to prevent the end of the world. "As members of the Time Space Administration Bureau we need to get back to work. We can't just suddenly not show up…"
"Ah, but Fate-chan did you forget about your own plan? With that we could slip away from work for a day or two, right?" Nanoha eyed Stern and her coffee darkly…then smiled. "But only with Stern-chan's consent of course."
"…The most logical course of action at this time would be to be to give in and follow your requests…" Stern lifted her head and looked away from her coffee and at Nanoha. "However I oppose the thought of leaving Yuri alone by herself"
"Ah no worries!" Hayate joined into the fray. "Me and my Knights are going to Comiket, I'll bring Yuri-chan along with me! This year I'll finally be able to make a perfect cosplay of Lilith-chan!"
"Then I do not mind being your substitute for a day. Nanoha-san, you are free to command me as you please"
"Alright! Now that everything's settled I can go and Starlight Break-…I erm mean have a little talk with Einheart-san"
"No choice then. Now that she's like this there's no stopping her. I'll have to postpone my plans of getting a room with Nanoha and instead try and prevent any unnecessary casualties." Fate said solemnly.
The four stood up and then promptly left the café. Off to do whatever they planned to do.
"Um…Nanoha? Fate? Hayate? Coffee person? What exactly am I supposed to do about the café?" Miyuki looked around, the door was still broken off its hinges, the window was completely shattered, and there were glass and feathers all over the floor.
Pondering over it for a second, Miyuki decided on the most reasonable course of action. 'This never happened.' She grabbed the bills that the Nanoha-lookalike left under her coffee cup and promptly made a run for it.
A/N: Firstly, to anyone who enjoyed this, you just made my day. To anyone who didn't enjoy this...um...yea sorry about that...?
I mainly started writing this because the idea just came to me and stopped me from sleeping for a while...I just decided to post this now, so not even I really know what the heck I was doing. Luckily I have some idea for what will happen next! Hopefully I'll continue this, but that might take a while...until then, I'll be working on other fics. See ya!
If you like it? review If you don't? criticize, I always appreciate any feedback to improve my writing in the future
