A/N: And now a sudden update from a story that you probably neither cared for nor paid attention to...now can we get any updates on the things we care about and pay attention to? That's the fun question to ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Nanoha franchise...if I did, Nanoha's Blaster Three would've been practically a love letter to TenRyuJin.


In XXX...

Einheart Stratos was just a normal, if a bit socially awkward, almost thirteen-year old girl. Sure she also might've contained trace amounts of an ancient Sankt Kaiser, and had this thing for picking fights with strong people, but this was one thing and that was another.

This was because she suddenly sensed a deadly aura of someone she would never want to pick a fight with.

"Take this! My love for my daughter, my anger at her growing up, and all of my motherly sorrows! STARLIGHT BREAKER!"

The massive energy ball exploded in all directions as the entirety of Mid-Childa was engulfed in pink light. Within the center of it, a beam as wide as said ball continued on for at least twenty minutes before coming to a stop.

Einhart Stratos was just a normal, if a bit charred, socially awkward, almost thirteen-year old girl. Sadly, saying that the thirteenth year would come, might've been a bit naive and all too premature.

"..." Somehow managing to notice the beam and block through a fair portion of it whilst punching through the rest, she could only thank whomever it was that invented loud pre-sneak attack one-liners. Oh, and also Vivio for standing in front of her.

"Tch, missed huh?"The dark smileof her assailant was forcefully pulled into a frown. It was as if the attacker was trying hard not to laugh at a bad joke. "I-I mean Vivio! You'll pay for this Einheart!"

There stood Takamachi Nanoha in all her glory.

...

There stood Yuri Eberwein in all her confusion.

"Um...where am I?"

Having been dragged to some strange convention at Hayate's request this morning and put in a strange costume, she eventually lost sight of her caretakers and was now among unfamiliar faces.

As it was, everyone she passed stared at her, and a number of audible not-whispers followed.

"Wow she's cute."

"I wanna take her home~ ~ ~ ~!"

"Isn't she cosplaying as Lilith?"

"But she's probably a guy..."

"Between Fleet Girls and Eastern Wonderland I prefer..."

"A Vivid anime adaptation and now a vivid three-dimensional girl I find cute? What has this world come to?"

At those comments, the one who held the titles of"Sovereign of the Purple Sky", "Unbreakable Darkness", and "Nigh-impossible-to-Defeat-Properly-Without-Timing-Out-SNK-Boss", could only pull down on her strange looking witch's hat, and pretend that no one noticed her.

Unbeknownst to the innocent blond girl, however, the third eye on the hat was actually just a prop, and thereby didn't actually let her see her surroundings, nor prevent her from bumping into anything...or anyone...

In the same spot...at the same time...

"So like I was saying, I thought we promised to go on a picnic date together?" a foreign looking girl deadpanned.

"Hmm? Aren't we on a date?" replied a purple haired girl.

"Oh yeah, date sure...If you mean sitting together at a cramped table full of legally questionable reading material! We're not even eating anything!"

"We'll get a lunch break at noon."

"That's not the point!"

Looking up with a polite smile, the girl directed her eyes towards the books and inquired innocently. "But didn't we do all this last night?"

"GYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" the other girl blushed and covered her ears, not even remotely capable of denying those claims.

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a third girl interjected.

CRASH!

At this intrusion, the purple haired girl could only sit staring blankly, registering what happened.

"Ah!...My table…" Tsukimura, Suzuka had fallen into shock.

Her friend Arisa Bannings, having now fallen out of her chair, and being steadily crushed underneath a blond witch, mustered all the consolation she could give.

"Your table my ass…What about me…!?"


And then…somehow…

The crash left the table completely broken; the onlookers were left no better. The bewildering spectacle of such a standard cliché of a cute girl falling down on top of another person, made reality, could only be described as so awe-inspiring that everyone could only simultaneously conform to the same thought, 'Why wasn't it me instead!?'

Contrary to the norm, Arisa didn't just explode and shoo the onlookers off. This was only attributed to the fact that she couldn't because…

"Get…her…off…of…me!" Gasping for air she could only futilely plea for her best friend's assistance. "Dammit Suzuka...use…your…super…strength!...This brat's heavier than she looks…!"

"My table…" The young girl of possible vampire origins was still in shock.

"I'll…get…you…a…new…table!" Arisa could've sworn that she started seeing herself in front of her playing with a fox.'How the heck can I be in two places at once? Wait…why is the other me semi-transparent!? Moreover what's with the fox?'

As Arisa continued to panic and Suzuka continued to be in denial about her broken table, pretending to not see the hundreds of NanoFatedoujins on the floor and up for grabs, salvation came in the most unexpected direction.

"The hell's going on here?" The one boasting the title of Knight of the Iron Hammer came through the front. With her titular hammer replaced by a wooden spear, the cardboard blade making it taller than she was, and her accommodating armor replaced witha somewhat elegant, but rough looking, battle-ready, red garb, it would've been an understatement to say she looked just a bit frustrated whilst chewing on her Sakura flavored Pocky.


Still in the same place...

"Vita?...good...timing!"

"Oh it's Arisa and Suzuka...and Yuri?"

"My table...My table...My table...Vita?...My NanoFate...My table...My table...My table...Vita...NanoFate...Table..."

"The heck's gotten into her?"

"Not...important...get...this...girl...off...me..."

"You could say "please" you know?" Enjoying her Pocky and the scene before her, Vita didn't forget to mentally pat herself on the back for following her Mistress Hayate's example.

"...please..."

"Fine, yea, okay, now that that's settled." Vita started towards Yuri, and put two hands under the petit girl's arms. "You make it sound like this flat as a board, mini midget's some kind of twenty-five ton gorilla that shovels down ice cream and snacks all day or something. You should at least try to think of this poor girl's feelings."

"..."

"And as far as I'm concerned I'm not being hypocritical, mind you I'm still a growing girl...even if I'm slightly shorter than her..."

"..."

"Man, thinking of all that stuff's made me hungry. Know if there're any ice cream vendors around?"

"..."

"Silent treatment huh? Fine, we'll do your thing first, and then go look for snacks."

"..."

"Well here goes nothing...UP YOU GO!"

Vita began putting force into her small, but deceptively powerful arms. To her surprise, however, despite these same arms being able to lift the enormous Graf Eisen in its well-named Gigant Form, true to her words nothing did happen.

"I said...UP YOU GO!"

"..."

"UP YOU GO DAMMIT!"

Three tumbleweeds rolled aimlessly across the convention floor, how they got there, or their purpose, no one really knew.

'Huh...I wonder if they're family...' The red-headed girl, was entranced by the mystery before remembering her goal. 'Right, Arisa!'

Realizing that brute force wouldn't cut it, Vita looked around and contemplated her options.

'Looks like Yuri's a bit heavier than I thought she was...now what can I use...'

Continuing to scan the perimeter, she found:

'A broken table? No help. A trolly? No use. Manga like the kind Hayate draws with Nanoha and Fate in a variety of wrestling moves while naked? Interesting, but nope. A portable hydraulic lift table? Still no...A mobile crane said to be able to lift anything under thirty-five tons, including people? What the heck's that gotta do with the situation? Ah! Found it!'

Picking up the spear, she rammed the spade-looking end under Arisa's back.

'Now according to that Archimedes guy I heard about on TV, the ratios of the output forces applied by Arisa and input forces set by Yuri, while taking into account the distances they are from the fulcrum that I hinged this spear on, will make it so the mechanical advantage will belong to the stronger party...'

Putting her left leg in front of her, Vita began to push down with minimal force and continued her train of thought.

'Seeing as how I'm the strongest around, and paper beats rock, all I have to do is hope that this cardboard's as strong as paper and by reference as strong as me...'

As she slowly continued pushing down on the wooden end of the spear, the cardboard continued to prove its might to the world as the two girls...didn't even remotely budge from one another.

"Dammit Archimedes! You lied to me!" finally getting fed up with science, Vita pulled back on the spear, but was surprised at how it didn't remove itself from the duo in front of her.

'I see...the cardboard's doing its best...' Inspired, Vita took on new motivation. "I should be trying my best too..."

Grabbing onto the wooden hilt once more, the Count of the Iron Hammer, continued to push down gently.

SNAP!

'I also see...that the wooden pole was not doing its best...'

Holding the half of the spear that broke off in her hands Vita looked at it with a face only slightly less blood thirsty than Nanoha's whenever a trainee screwed something up.

"Why...don't you cool your head a little? AH YOU LITTLE-"

Throwing it in the most Nanoha-esque fashion possible, that being of as much brute force as she could possibly muster, with her eyes closed, the red-head didn't even realize when it bounced off the floor, ricocheted off the walls and tables, hit the roof, and finally fell on to the Arisa-Yuri combo making them roll over and dislodge.

Opening her eyes at the miraculous sight Vita could only remain composed and humble about her achieved exploits.

"HECK YEA! Screw science, screw magic, I did it all by myself!"

"Like hell you did!"

Surprised at the sudden rebuttal, Vita looked left and right, searching for the familiar voice.

"That was pure dumb luck, and you know it!"

Looking behind her, she continued to search for the voice.

"I'm up here."

"Huh?...Huh!?"

Looking up, the great Belkan Knight, was obviously not even a bit freaked out by just what or rather who she saw.

"Arisa!?"

"Yep, it's me. Or rather technically another me. In the flesh...or in the non-flesh so to speak...Pun intended..."

"..."

No, she was A LOT freaked out, so much so that she couldn't comprehend what exactly freaked her out more. Whether it was her floating non-magical friend, her cryptic words, or how casually she took to being semi-transparent with her...pet transparent fox?, Vita could only search her mind for the one meaningful phrase she'd been using since the beginning of time.

"The hell's going on here?"

"Man, I wish you'd have saved me or rather "me" sooner. At this rate the walls between this universe and the one next door are going to collapse. Right Kuon?"

The fox just continued to look at Vita as though it was evaluating her and smiled before replying cheerfully.

"Yep!"

Wagging her tail happily, the fox, now proven to be something of a familiar, for Arisa?, continued on tangent. "I'm so envious though, death by being smoldered in another cute girl's chest~"

"Hey, think about how I...or rather how "she" feels you perverted old fox."

"Hmm~? You're right. She's got no boobs, nor does the red headed one. It's like looking at two washboards stacked on top of one another. Not so envious anymore~"

"Apologize! Apologize to me and the rest of the flat chested girls across this and every other aligned universe!"


In...

Nineteen alternate realities, plus two to four dimensions and a spatial rift away, a purple haired lady and her young daughter whose blond hair blatantly gave her mother's gene pool the finger were happily playing a game of obviously-not-Frisbee.

After a differently set chain of events somehow led the notorious interdimensional criminal Presea Testarossa and, her daughter, Alicia both surviving the dimensional transfer, both were sent to what was formerly Al-Hazard, which history had taken the liberty of exaggerating the geographical coordinates to ludicrous degrees, in its prime. Currently, however, it was known as present day Hikarizaka, a quiet city known for its hills, eccentric couples, and occasional miracles.

Incidentally this city had also been roughly one bus ride away from Uminari city, but that was beside the point.

Also beside the point was that one of these said miracles, happened to have been the revival of the then dead Alicia, which in retrospect had never really "survived" so much as she was "preserved," with the added bonus of curing her mother from the incurable and restoring her sanity to the level of devoting her time to her daughter, her income of selling children's trading cards, and her hobby of making fruit preserves, the only trace of her former habits notwithstanding.

What was to the point was the fact that Alicia after catching the definitely-not-a-Frisbee, did not, in fact, throw it back, but rather looked up to her mother with the cutest eyes, then looked roughly ten inches downward from there and deadpanned the following: "Mom, I don't really know why, but I think you owe me an apology."

"I'm sorry, dear? Is it because I've been a poor mother? Is it because I've been abusing your younger sister? Is it because of those darn preserved fruits!?"

At that, the once famed SS-ranked criminal snapped a little on the inside as she said the last one, and began to grovel at the heels of a now technically twenty-something, still physically five year old girl.

"I'm sorry, please forgive me!"

"Um...it's cool, yea totally~ fine! Don't worry about it!", 'Oh man, I think I can get used to this feeling...not good...', "Let's forget about all that and go back to playing that game with the flying disk!"

"You mean I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-Frisbee-Featuring-A-Flying Disk-Being-Thrown-From-One-Person-To-Another?"

"Uh...Sure! That. That."

With that the mother and daughter duo went on with their game of Ultimate, how they played such a professional game with only two people, is a mystery to this day.


...

Also of a mystery was how, back in the main continuity, the physically nine year old Stern was carrying not only the then in-her-twenties Teana Lanster bridal style, but also somehow heaving the heavily burned cyborg Subaru Nakajima via hanging her off the opening of Luciferion and hoisting her over the shoulder.

The poor enforcer had passed out from the intense stress of heavy mana drain, and was now thankfully in no position to be embarrassed. She seemed to be having a nightmare, as she squirmed around in her sleep occasionally crying out one of her friend's names in anguish, each time having necessitated the perquisite scream of, "NO NANOHA DON'T-" from the blue haired girl who seemed to also partake in the experiences.

Stern had pondered on the thought of waking the girl, but had logic direct her towards the path of least resistance. Dealing with a potentially confused tsundere character, was after all one of the greatest pains.

She also thought of waking the blue haired one and telling her to do the carrying for her, but found her answer immediately through the process of elimination, when confronted with the potential effort it would take to wake her up, the potential of having her identity mistaken again, and the inevitably of blasting her back to unconsciousness in irritation, put bluntly, it just wasn't worth it.

Having planned to drop the two off at the infirmary, Stern was less than pleased as she walked towards the general direction of the building indicated on the maps, and found a smoking crater in front of the building she wanted to access.

"Troublesome indeed" Frowning, Stern spotted a set of familiar legs sticking out of a hole in the ground.

"Might I inquire as to your apparent cause of death, Levi?"

"Mmrph!"

"A shame, it appears you're still among the living after all."

"Urmph!"

"Telepathy does wonders, does it not?"

'So I was being chased by this tomato-headed brat and his pinky sidekick, that reminded me of your original, and apparently they were riding on this really small dragon, and you probably won't believe this, but then they got lost and crashed into this building! I the super awesomely epic and highly charitable Levi decided to help 'em out! But then all of a sudden, some not super awesomely epic coward popped outta that hole and hit me from the side and then...'

"I see. Well if it's any consolation to you, I do believe you to be right about at least one thing. I probably wouldn't believe any of that."

'You said "wouldn't" but do you believe me?'

"I am finding some parts of that story more viable than others, but for the time being I'll see your story as I often see to our ever so magnificent king's courageous ventures."

'You mean with love, undying loyalty, and an almost borderline possessiveness?'

"No. I meant with healthy skepticism and accommodative planning." Stern frowned as she could not withhold expressing the rest of her ever so wise, factual, and logical reasoning. "Also I would not state it as "borderline possessiveness" but rather intense care, for the king belongs to me and thus must be treated as fitting of my possessions."

'Um...Stern... I can't see your face...but your voice is REALLY scary right now...'

"Furthermore our magnificent king's temptations can only be resisted so much, acting haughty and self-important but easily being emotionally devastated by not having woken up in time to feed our family pet."

'...I don't remember a family pet...'

"Silly Levi..." Stern's eyes became downcast in darkness as her lips edged upward into what could only be described as a type of smirk on the same level as those of atrocious villains who often ate an apple whilst watching others suffer.

"...Oh ever so silly Levi..."

Yes this was the type of smirk that was neither fitting nor reasonably characterized beyond that of some form of logic bound sadistic glee.

"...Even I, the Material of Wisdom, sometimes question how silly you can be...

After all..."

The next words made had made Levi shudder so hard that she effectively popped herself back out from the dirt.

"...Aren't you the family pet?"

With those simple words, the ever so boisterous Material of Power was left speechless.

Meanwhile the still passed out duo in Stern's arms filled in the silence with their own words.

"NO NANOHA DON'T-"

As Subaru's, one too many, shouts disrupted the equilibrium of her base of balance on Luciferion's tip and toppled her over, it was well noted that Stern made no extensive effort to slightly adjust her grip to prevent that, and that the ever so wise Material was ever so tempted to drop the other one on top of her.

Prevented from doing so by the thought of the burden it would take to pick another girl back up, she simply remained stationary, curious as to whether she would know who dream-Nanoha's next apparent victim would be.

"Einhart!"

In the many, many years of the Material of Wisdom's existence. It could have been said that this was the first moment by which, once upon a time, Stern the Destructor felt pity to a figment of a foreboding dream.


A/N: Admittedly they say that those who make blatant references in fiction are simply trying to cover up their both their weakness in writing and potential lack of intelligence. Now I won't speak for others, but as far as I'm guaranteeing, that Toumeikage guy probably does it the most after chucking out canon setting and characterization for empty husks of the former and likely blatant disregard for the later LOL.

If you like it? review If you don't? criticize, I always appreciate any feedback to improve my writing in the future