A/N: Takes place after the war, slightly AU (Snape's still alive). Reviews welcome and encouraged, even flames. Unbeta-ed, feel free to point out mistakes. Hope you like.

Pairing: HPDM

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I just disregard the big red sign that says "Do Not Touch Characters"

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of self-injury, m/m slash (don't like, don't read), lots of angst, language, and I might possibly get into some other questionable areas. This story is not really for those with a squickable stomach.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter one. It's good to know people actually do like my writing.


"It's ok. You don't have to go through this alone any more."


Chapter 2 - Shut Up Voice!

Harry had finished cleaning the dried blood off of Draco's arm and was now wrapping it with a soft bandage that had previously been a handful of grass.

"Potter, why are you helping me? I've been a complete arse to you the entire time you've known me. You should be off with your friends, making jokes about what a pathetic prick I am." Harry just stared at Draco, wondering what could possibly have gone so wrong in his life to make him think of himself this way.

"I suppose it's just who I am. I don't think I could stand to see anyone suffer like this, no matter what they've done to me in the past. But Draco," said Harry with a very serious face, "I can only help as much as you allow me to. I know this isn't easy, but I hope you care enough about yourself to get better."

Harry knew he sounded cheesy, but he could feel himself going into "inspirational speech mode" and was powerless to stop it. The Gryffindor worried that he may have gone a bit overboard, but his words seemed to have had the right effect on Draco. The blond sat quietly with his hands folded in his lap.

Although the rest of his face was expressionless, the hint of fear that pierced Draco's silver eyes when he looked into Harry's emerald ones betrayed his true emotions.

"Do you really think I can stop this, Potter? I don't see how," whispered Draco so quietly that Harry had to strain to catch his words. "What do you want me to do?" The Slytherin's tone was one of a person who wants so desperately to have hope, but does not dare to even consider it.

"Well, I think you know the first part Draco. It will be a lot easier for you to deal with things if you don't have a collection of razors immediately available. So when we get back to the castle I'll come with you to your dormitory and you can give them to me." Draco did not know how to feel about this. His razors had been there for him for the last year and had helped him through his most difficult moments. The idea that he might be so abruptly parted with them scared the blond more than anything. "Potter," he croaked, "I'm not so sure I can handle that…" Draco felt ashamed, but he figured it was better than staying silent.

Harry frowned a little, "I think you can. We've still got a while before we need to fly back to the castle; it's only 3:00. That's enough time to work out some ways to face this. But first…is there anything you want to talk about Draco? It's safe here, there's no chance that anyone but me will hear, and I promise not to criticize you." Harry realized how recovery cliché he sounded. 'Hmmm,' he thought to himself, 'maybe I'd make a better therapist than I would an auror.'

"Well, Potter, I really don't know why I'm even sitting here talking to you in the first place. I think I must be crazy. There's nothing wrong with me, and even if there was, why would I ever tell you about it?" Draco crossed his arms and leaned away from Harry, trying to ignore the voice of reason in his head. 'Why are you pushing him away? Maybe he could help…shut up voice, I don't need help, I am fine. No you're not. Yes I am, Malfoy's are always fine. Draco's aren't always fine. Oh, but they are. You're not fine. YES I AM!'

"No Draco, there's nothing wrong with you at all," said Harry sarcastically, "That's why I just spent the last ten minutes bandaging your arm. Now, it's pretty obvious that you have a lot of issues to work through, and I could guess at what they are, but I'd rather you just tell me. But I guess I can't forceyou to talk, so we'll have to focus on thinking of things you can do instead of cutting for now."

'Damn, he's actually going to try to help, no matter what I say. Well your little plan to stop him didn't work, did it? Hahah, insults won't save you now! Grr…shut up voice.' The war in Draco's head continued to rage on. "Potter, did it ever occur to you that maybe it's none of your business whether I stop or not? We hate each other, remember? Mortal enemies for life?"

Harry shrugged. "Things change. I don't hate you any more, and I don't believe that you hate me either. The war's over Draco. There's nothing to be gained from us hating each other now."

"You…don't hate me?" the blond asked, slightly stunned by the possibility.

"No. In fact, I'm not sure I ever really did. I definitely did not like you a lot of the time, but hate was reserved exclusively for Voldemort." Harry was amused by the look on Draco's face and had to resist the strong temptation to conjure a mirror. 'Then again, maybe I should stick to the plan. Therapists definitely shouldn't be tempted to do things like that…' Harry thought to himself.

"I…I never thought…why do you…but I thought for sure you hated me…" Draco stammered, clearly in shock.

"Why? Do you hate you, Draco?" Harry hoped to catch the Slytherin off guard and get him to reveal something. It was going to be a long afternoon if he couldn't get anything more out of the blond.

'More than you could ever know,' said Draco's mind. For once there was no disagreement. "No, of course not. I like myself…" Harry gave Draco a look that unmistakably said 'I do not believe you and I think you're lying through your teeth.' "I do!" protested Draco.

"And how's that working for you?" asked Harry with a sly smile. Draco said nothing, just huffed and slumped back against the couch before remembering that Malfoy's do not slouch. "Right, so…things you can do instead of cutting. Any ideas? I have a few but I think it's better if you come up with some first; you know what activities you like and dislike, I don't."

Draco sighed, 'I suppose I should just play along. Or you could actually try what he's suggesting. Ugh, I'm going to hex you, you fucking little nag, now shut it.' He said the most obvious thing that came to mind, "well, I like flying and playing Quidditch, but you already knew that."

"Ok, that's a good start. What else?" Harry picked up a rock and tapped it once with his wand. "Writerus," he said, and the rock turned into a pad of paper and a self-inking quill. He held them out to Draco, "I don't have to know what they are, do you want to write them down?"

"Potter, I really don't care if you know what I like to do, it's not like you'd be able to hold it against me." Draco ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it slightly.

Harry suddenly realized that Draco's hairstyle had completely changed. 'How did I not notice that? Hermione, Ron, and I made fun of his hair enough when we were younger…' thought Harry. And indeed, the blond had stopped slicking his hair back with his daily bottle of gel. Instead, he kept it just short enough to keep it from falling in his eyes, and slightly messy without the wildness that characterized Harry's own tangled locks. 'Just messy enough to be adorable,' he thought. 'Wait a second there…'

Before Harry could fully process his last thought he was interrupted by Draco. "Potter?" he said in a questioning tone. When Harry did not respond immediately, Draco repeated it a bit more urgently, "Potter??"

"Huh, what?" said Harry. "Sorry, I was just…thinking about something." He blushed slightly, looking down in hopes that Draco would not see. He had no such luck, however.

"Potter, why are you blushing? Exactly what were you thinking about?" Draco looked suspicious. Harry quickly came up with the first lie he could think of.

"Well, I thought of something else for you to do. I believe I heard something about you being the 'sex god of Slytherin.' So I just figured…well you know…" Draco's face fell and Harry realized too late what he had implied.

"I think I would rather have you hate me than think of me like that. 'Sex god of Slytherin,' yeah right. It was just a prank by some of the older Slytherins in my third year. They got everyone to start calling me that, I guess because they thought it would embarrass me. Now everyone thinks I'm some big player and because of that, nobody wants to have a serious relationship with me; I'm just the person you go to when you want a quick shag. So sure, I could sleep with almost anyone I want, but I don't. And people still won't give it up…it really sucks." Draco looked miserable, but as soon as he became aware of this he changed his expression. 'Malfoy's do not show weakness!'

"I'm so sorry Draco," Harry began.

"Don't be. It wasn't you who did it. Besides, it's not as if I'm some innocent victim. I probably deserve it." The blond's tone was bitter, and Harry could tell that the Slytherin truly believed every word he had just spoken.

"Nobody deserves that. And I'm sure you'll eventually find someone who's right for you. You just have to give it time. Besides, it's not like you'd have any trouble attracting people with your looks. It's just a matter of proving to them that you're not the person they think you are." Draco looked up, 'did Harry just say I was attractive?' Now it was his turn to blush. He noticed Harry looking at him and quickly redirected the conversation.

"Anyway, now that we've established that I'm not actually a sex addict, can we move on?" Harry nodded in assent.

Harry and Draco spent the next two hours trying to think of realistic things the blond could easily do to distract himself. They decided that flying might not be a very practical thing to put on the list, as Draco could not simply whip out his broomstick at his leisure. In total, the two boys came up with twenty ideas; seven of them had been dragged out of the stubborn Slytherin by Harry, and the other thirteen he had supplied himself. They now read over the list to see if anything missing:

Things To Do Instead of Other Things

(Harry and Draco decided that the title should be vague in case anyone found the list)

1. Stay in the company of others and find someone (meaning Harry, of course) if alone.

2. Write down why you think you should and shouldn't do things.

3. Get all your school assignments done.

4. Walk around the castle.

5. Talk to one of the ghosts (they both agreed that Moaning Myrtle should be excluded).

6. Sleep.

7. Pet an owl/cat/rat/toad.

8. Play board games with an elf from the kitchen.

9. Go shopping (Draco's favorite idea).

10. Write about how your day was or other topics.

11. Read a book.

12. Find a way to prank Crabbe or Goyle and frame whoever you did not prank.

13. Draw on yourself with red marker (they thought it better not to say arm on the list).

14. Take a shower.

15. Hex first years (Harry did not like it but Draco insisted on including it).

16. Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Wizard Pop.

17. Terrorize Filch.

18. Practice brewing potions.

19. Do a muggle puzzle (Harry said he'd get one for Draco).

20. Work on your wizard card collection.

"Hmm…I think the list is pretty good. If you think of other things you can always put them on there. Well, it looks like it's getting dark, so I think we need to be getting back. But first…" Harry pulled out two Sickles and tapped each with his wand, turning one gold and the other a more brilliant silver. Each coin had the letter H on one side and D on the other; the letters on the gold coin were written in red and in green on the silver coin. Harry handed Draco the red and gold coin.

"What's this?" Draco asked curiously. 'And why do I get the coin with Gryffindor colors,' he thought to himself.

"It's a way for you to contact me if you need to. Press the H if you just want to talk, and the D if you need me right away. The letter you press will light up on my coin so I know to find you." Harry looked sheepishly at Draco, feeling a little awkward.

"Wow, that's pretty…Gryffindorish of you," replied the blond, unsure of what to say. "I suppose I should thank you, although I don't know if I'll ever actually use it."

"Well, I hope you will. I'd like for us to be friends Draco, so take it as something a friend would do for another friend. So, I was wondering; would you be willing to talk to me again? It doesn't have to be as intense as today was." The raven-haired teen lightly bit his lip, nervous about the response he would get.

"I guess it might be alright for us to be friends, just don't expect me to get over all those years of us fighting and loathing each other overnight, ok? But, yeah, I suppose I'd be willing to talk to you again." Draco was seriously doubting his judgment. 'How could I just give in like that? I'm so weak. No, you're not. you were strong enough to let yourself be vulnerable…yay progress! Ugh, I'm in over my head here.'

"Good. Does tomorrow work for you? We can't go into Hogsmeade on Saturdays, so I don't think there's anything for me to do other than sit around listening to Hermione nag me and Ron about catching up on schoolwork and Ron whining about Hermione's nagging. Meet me in the Great Hall at noon?" The blond nodded slightly.

"Yeah, I guess. But shouldn't we be going now? The sun's almost fully set." He picked up his broomstick. Harry nodded as he took his, and both boys kicked off the ground, Harry waving his wand over the meadow to turn everything back to normal. It just wouldn't do for there to be big red couches in the middle of the foothills.

As Draco rode, he wondered if Harry would forget about the first part of his "recovery." He certainly hoped so.


Alrighty, chapter two's done. Yay! Reviews would be wonderful. Ten points to anyone who can guess the seven things on the list that Draco came up with. It is now 3:02 AM, so hopefully my staying up this late did not affect the quality of the chapter.

-xoxo fredmyfred