Author: i like writing this story even if no one ever reads it. Just thought you should know


Dude. Michelle really ruined my buzz. Instead of being all happy go lucky I was a bit down in the dumps. How the hell was I supposed to convince my sister I was the living dead? Maybe I could shoot myself and live? That seemed to messy though. And I really don't want to get all bloody again.

I was currently scrubbing my skin off (metaphorically speaking) with the hot water all the way up. The cool thing was I didn't feel the least bit hot. Cool. Or Hot. Whatever. My skin started to turn a delightful shade of pink. Whoa! What was that? I put my fingers to my wrist. Awesome! I have a pulse. I guess the hot water warmed up the blood enough so that it's actually flowing.

After I was scrubbed clean I stepped into a fluffy blue robe. No blood in my hair. Yay! I got my toothbrush and started scrubbing. I did this for like five minuets. Still the faint taste of blood lingered. I put a breath mint in and then sprayed some smell goods on me so there was no possible way you could smell blood. Then I got dressed.

I met my pissed sister in the living room, ready for the firing squad. I was dressed in faded and ripped jeans (not the kinds you buy for a hundred bucks, the kind you rip by getting into fights and falling down) I also had on a gray t-shirt with the words 'The Darkness' on the front.

"Well, what do you have to say for your actions?" asked my sister.

"I'm sorry and it will never happen again." you cant become a vampire twice right?

"Your damn right it wont happen again because you are grounded! What would mom think! I was left in charge of you and if you don't co-operate-"

I used the teenage gift of 'tuning out' to think of other things. I don't think my lovable sister will buy the fact that I'm dead, which posed some problems. Number one: how to avoid sunlight. She will want me to go to school and I don't feel like bursting into flames. Number two: food. She will want me to eat hamburgers while I will want to try and eat her. Oh this was gonna be fun. Notice the sarcasm.

"Are you even listening to me?" my sister asked/yelled.

"Nope. Because as much as I love you sister dearest this is of no consequence to me. I am dead. If you shoot me, unless you take out my heart, I will not die. If you put a sharp piece of wood I will burst into ashes. If I go outside I will burn to a crisp." I speak slowly.

My sister paused "You have been playing way to many internet roll plays. Mrs. Walker warned me but did I listen? Nooo-"

"Michelleee!" I wined "I am not crazy. I am a vampire. See?" I opened my mouth showing off my fangs.

"You got caps without my permission!"

"Michelle. I am a fucking walking corpse. What will convince you of the fact?"

"Honey." she grabbed me and sat me on the couch beside her. "The monsters do not live under your bed. Aliens are not controlling our brain waves and fairies are not real."

Unbeknownst to them a little girl with wings wailed in pain. Clap if you believe readers! Clap if you believe!

Ahem. To story. "and believe me Marie. No matter how much the signs add up. There are no such things as vampires." and because this is a work of fan fiction and I am given several magic powers of irony. A dark shape crashed into the window and flew into their living room.

"AHH!" both girls yelled as the figure turned to face them. His face was screwed up, fangs long and piercing. Needless to say this figure was a vampire.

"You killed our great master Lestat!" the vampire hissed.

"Oh come on. That pussy was your master?" then a thought occurred "Wait. I thought you guys couldn't enter unless invited.

The vampire looked confused then said "Aw shit." and he suddenly wasn't there.

Marie crawled up on the back of the couch and looked through the window. About fifty or so vampires were lined up on their lawn. She went back to her stunned sister. "Well. If we just wait them out they have to leave when the sun comes up."

Her sister turned and looked at Marie with wide eyes. "There are such things as vampires." She said