So I decided to write another chapter of crack and just put it under the same thing as 'Chaos' because why not. I seriously wrote this chapter because three lines of dialogue popped into my mind and I just HAD to share them with you all. It was way too good to pass up.


"You just had to blow up the old man's house, didn't you?" Gray exclaimed, slamming the doors to the guild open. No one bothered to watch, excluding Juvia, as he stomped inside, throwing himself onto a bench near one of the tables. Somehow his shirt managed to evaporate into thin air somewhere between the train station and the guild, not that he noticed.

"Oi, you say that like it's my fault!" Natsu yelled back, a bit of fire spewing out of his mouth as he did so. He took a seat across from Gray, lazily placing his chin in his palm as he glared daggers at his stripper of a teammate.

"Aye!" Happy agreed, landing beside Natsu on the table. He honestly wasn't paying attention. There was a fish that needed attending to.

"Maybe that's because it is your fault, you fire-inhaling dumbass." The ice mage retorted, ripping off his pants and tossing them in some odd direction.

Juvia swooned at a nearby table, not-so-subtly drooling at her view of the boxer-clad boy. Levy slid a dish below the water woman's mouth so that her drool wouldn't get all over the table and eventually, her books. Gajeel pretended not to care that he was sitting beside the petite bookworm, though it was painfully (Oh, so painfully) obvious that he did.

Lucy dragged in a few moments after them, mumbling dejectedly about being kicked out on the streets for not paying her rent. She took a seat beside Natsu, slamming her face into the table to hide her sobs. A dark aura formed around her as she continued to mutter to herself about having to fight off dirty homeless men in the middle of the night.

Erza was the next to return, pulling her massive cart of luggage behind her. She dropped it's handle near the table where her teammates sat before going to take a seat next to Gray. A small smile made its way to her face, totally oblivious to the hostility and depression lingering in the air.

"I think the mission went rather well, don't you?" She declared, looking to each of her teammates expectantly.

"We destroyed most of the city." Lucy muttered sadly. "We didn't even get the reward."

"Erza only enjoyed it because we happened to come across Crime Sorciere on the way." The dark haired exhibitionist teased.

His snickers morphed into a shriek of terror as he found a sharp blade pointed directly at his neck. The look on Erza's face dared him to say anything more about the situation. With his audible gulp and a hurried apology, the sword was withdrawn. The scarlet haired beauty smirked to herself, turning back to eat the strawberry cake that magically materialized out of thin air to sit before her.

"Anyways, we would've gotten the reward if this idiot didn't have to fuck everything up." Gray grumbled, jabbing a thumb in Natsu's direction.

"You didn't do much better, Ice Queen." The dragon slayer yelled back, slamming a flaming fist into the table. Miraculously, the wooden table didn't catch fire. How this was possible, no one would ever be able to explain. "I'm pretty sure you turned a few onlookers into ice cubes by accident."

"At least I was smart enough to know not to demolish our client's house!" The ice mage exclaimed, standing up from the bench to glare down at his rival.

"You tryin' to call me stupid?" Natsu screamed, standing up to meet his unspoken challenge.

"That's exactly what I'm doing!" Gray spat back, readying himself for a fight.

"Hell, I'll bet you're dumber than I am!" The fire mage hissed.

"Hah! Your brain's so small, even Edward Elric would look tall standing next to it!" The dark haired exhibitionist screamed, flailing his arms about like an idiot.

All of a sudden, something flew through the wall of the guild. There was a blur of black, red, and blonde before the object's foot slammed into the side of Gray's face, sending him flying into one of the other tables. Standing where he used to be was a man with long, braided blonde hair and bangs. He stomped about angrily whilst screaming, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE HIM WITHOUT A MICROSCOPE?" The man then proceeded to back flip out of the guild the same way he came.

"Did... Did you just summon the Fullmetal Alchemist by telling a short joke?" Lucy asked, staring dumbfounded at the crumpled heap of Gray lying on one of the broken tables.

Natsu started laughing uncontrollably, even going so far as to roll on the ground. Erza continued to eat her cake unfazed. In fact, the entire guild seemed to go on with their business as if a raging character from another anime didn't just break through the wall solely to kick one of their members in the face. Was that really not surprising?

"How are you guys so calm about that?" The celestial mage screamed in frustration, pulling on her blonde locks.

"Oh hey, look. There's a hole in the wall." Cana commented dully before going back to drowning herself in alcohol.

"Is there really?" Mira asked, placing the glass she was drying back on the bar. "Oh goodness! When did that happen?"

Lucy slapped a hand to her forehead, dragging it down across her face. Had everyone really become so accustomed to Team Natsu's antics that they didn't even notice when something as terrifyingly beautiful as that happened? The blonde turned her attention back to where Gray had landed, revealing him to be unconscious with Juvia desperately trying to nurse him back to health. She sighed, looking over to Natsu, who had fallen asleep on the floor shortly after his laughing fit had stopped.

The girl wordlessly left the guild, dragging her feet all the way to her home. Her mind was still trying to process what had just occurred. She had no explanation for the day's events and all she truly wanted was to go sleep it off and never speak of it again. Yes, that sounded wonderful.

"Fairy Tail has to be the definition of chaos."


Oops I made a thing. Oops this was really stupid. Oh well. I guess this will just be the place that I shove all of my little crack fics that randomly form in my mind. This idea started out with a short joke and then just manifested in my mind and I couldn't stop it. Oops.