I wanted to do something humorous but I forgot what it was, so I just started writing and well... Here we are. I'm sorry. Please forgive me for this trash.
EDIT: I now vaguely remember what I wanted to write about earlier. Alas, I'm still searching my brain for it. So maybe more crack soon?
The room was lit brightly so that all could clearly view what was taking place. Everything seemed to be decorated in stark white; the curtains, the carpet, the table cloths, and in the center of the room was a large arch covered in only the purest white roses. It was simply breathtaking, and it seemed to convey a sense of untainted, alluring innocence. What seemed to be most distinct though, was the smell. It was hard to put one's finger on it...
"And do you, Erza Scarlet, take this man do be your lawfully wedded husband?" Yajima asked, standing atop a podium in a thick black robe that covered his hands and feet. He aged like fine wine. Or cheese.
The bridesmaids- Mirajane, Lucy, Kagura, and the maid of honor Milliana- were all dressed in a scarlet that matched the bride's hair. Lucy had a tissue to dab at her eyes, while Milliana sobbed freely, wiping her running makeup all over her face. Mirajane's eyes held a spark that could only be described as unbridled joy, and Kagura kept a tight lipped smile as she wiped at the stray moisture in her eyes.
"I do." Erza replied confidently, tears in her own eyes as she stared into the very heart and soul of her true love.
The man stared back at her, tears having begun streaming down his face some time ago. "And do you, Ichiya Kotobuki, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
The groomsmen- Ren, Eve, Hibiki, and the best man Nichiya- had to refrain from bursting into song, each holding their signature poses with flushed cheeks as they awaited their leader's reply. They were also making passes at the women watching the ceremony, but that's beside the point.
Glitter rained down from the ceiling as Ichiya leapt into the air, releasing the parfum of love as he ascended into the sky, "I do. Meeen~."
"Scoundrel!" Hazel eyes snapped open as he thrust himself upwards into a sitting position and gasped for breath. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and neck as he pushed his blue bangs back out of his eyes. He sighed, scrubbing his hands down his face as he groaned, "Just another dream."
Jellal pushed himself out of his makeshift bed, standing to stretch before exiting the tent he shared with his guild. He was greeted by Ultear, who was busy putting their breakfast together. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, mainly to get it out of her way. Meredy sat next to her, idly helping her prepare food.
"Another bad dream, Jelly Bean?" Ultear poked, barely able to keep the smirk off her face. Meredy fought to keep from cracking up beside her, but it was clearly a losing battle.
"I don't want to talk about it." He griped, taking a seat across from the girls and grabbing his share of fish to clean.
"Erza, Erza." Meredy mocked, clasping her hands together as she poked the bear even harder.
"Enough." Jellal warned, gritting his teeth in annoyance. Who wanted to be harassed after a nightmare like that?
Meredy crossed her arms over her chest and poked her tongue out at him. "I'm not the one who told the girl I'm madly in love with that I'm fake engaged."
"She's got a point." Ultear chimed, shaking the fish blood off of her hands and wiping them with a rag. "What was this one about?"
Jellal glared at them both, but merely sighed. He would get nowhere being grumpy, after all. "She was getting married... To Ichiya."
Ultear and Meredy shared a horrified glance before breaking out into peels of laughter. "What're you dreaming of, Jellal?" Meredy cried as she gasped to recover her breath.
Jellal couldn't help but laugh as well, placing his palm against his forehead. "I suppose it was kind of ridiculous."
Meeen~
"Natsu." Lucy began, her voice firm. "We need to talk."
He glanced over his shoulder at her, seeing the serious look on her face. He dropped any smart assed retort he had and simply nodded, "Okay."
Lucy took a seat beside him, keeping an abnormal amount of distance between them. Natsu urged her to continue. She sighed, averting her eyes from him as she announced, "I'm not going to be your partner anymore."
"W-what? Why?" Natsu demanded, his eyes wide in shock as he stared at the woman he had partnered up with since he first brought her to the guild. "Lucy?"
"Because," She began, turning to look at him once more, "I'm teaming up with Gray now!"
"That's right, you burnt out matchstick." Gray cackled maniacally as he took off his shirt and threw it at Natsu's face. Natsu turned the fabric to ash just in time to see Lucy stripping off her jacket to commemorate her new partnership with the guild exhibitionist. She swung it around on her finger, joining Gray in his evil cackling that was completely unnecessary and was beginning to frighten Happy. Somewhere out there, Juvia was out on a job, but she felt the stab to her heart all the same.
"Natsu, make them stop." Happy begged. "This is weird."
"Gray, you melted Popsicle! Fight me for her!" He screamed, swinging a flaming fist at his cold hearted guildmate... Only to fall out of Lucy's bed in a tangled mess of sheets and onto the floor. Lucy, who had been innocently sleeping next to him, was pulled from her bed by the covers that Natsu had taken with him, and landed with half of her body on top of him and the other half on the floor.
"Natsu!" Lucy shrieked in anger, whacking him across the back of the head before pushing herself from her position on the ground. "What the hell are you doing? Huh? Sleeping in my bed and then waking me up this early?" It seemed that Aquarius rubbed off on her a bit more than what was realized.
"Traitor!" Natsu accused, tackling Lucy back down to the ground and pinning her to the floor.
Lucy glared at him, "Traitor? What for?" She demanded. It was too damn early to be treacherous anyway.
"You! And Gray!" He returned her glare, fire spouting from the corner of his mouth. "Damn it! What's that Ice Prick got that I don't?"
Lucy paled considerably, shoving Natsu off of her and sitting up. "What are you talking about?"
"You said you were Gray's partner now and not mine!" Natsu pointed an offensive finger directly in her face and poked her between her eyes, which she smacked away.
"Quit spouting nonsense!" She yelled at him. "I'm not leaving you for Gray, sheesh, it was probably just a dream. I'd never leave you, Natsu."
"A... dream?" Natsu repeated, looking around to find that he was in Lucy's room. "Oh, I see! Well, back to sleep Lucy!"
"Just like that!" Lucy shrieked, jaw dropping at Natsu's instant 180. She sighed, mentally calling him an idiot as she climbed back into bed, grabbing her blankets and facing her window. Once she was snuggled back into bed, Natsu sprawled out unconscious beside her, she allowed a small smile. "So that's what he dreams about, huh?"
Lucy began to doze off, letting her mind shut down once again and drifting into a deep sleep.
"GRAY!"
"NATSUUU!"
"Oi, Juvia!" Gray called, catching the water mage's attention. She smiled brightly at him as he ran up to greet her, giving her a half smile as he told her, "I'm going to give you my answer."
Juvia's face seemed to drop, which was incredibly odd to Gray. "Ahh, well, Juvia has actually... Found another."
"E-Eh? Really?" Gray asked, completely shocked. What the hell? "But I was going to..."
"It is too late, Gray-san." Gray looked physically pained as he weakly echoed, '-san?', "Juvia is in love... With Natsu-sama!"
Gray could've sworn the entire guild came to a screeching halt, most likely because he froze it over. "WHAT?" He demanded, eyes like saucers as he stared at the woman clad in all blue he had come to be very fond of. "That Wet Match? What's so special about Natsu?"
"Natsu-sama makes Juvia nice and hot." Juvia explained huskily, fire in her eyes as she stared down the dragon slayer from across the room.
Gray looked aghast, "Don't say that!" He plugged his ears, trying desperately to erase those words from his mind forever, but it seemed they were engraved there. He frantically discarded his shirt in his haste to escape the bitterness of reality. There was no comfort, not even in nudity.
"Juvia is sorry, Gray-san, but her love for you is no more. Juvia must be with Natsu-sama!" She cheered, walking away and leaving a shell-shocked Gray in her wake.
"Oi, Gray! Why'd you freeze over the damn guild!" Natsu screeched in his ear, shaking him awake from his position passed out shirtless on a table. "Answer me, you no good Ice Bastard!"
"JUVIA!" Gray shouted as he was jostled awake, accidentally- or maybe not- punching Natsu in the face as he did so. Gray looked around, noticing that he had, in fact, frozen most of the guild and his guildmates. "What? A dream?" He asked, reversing his ice spell and freeing the guild members.
Juvia came running towards him, hearts in her eyes as she called, "Gray-sama! You called for Juvia?"
"O-Oi..." He began, but was cut off by a flaming fist to the face.
Okay, that's what I've got for now. More or less of these, let me know.
