I don't know anymore. Who cares.
Disclaimer: Fairy Tail = not mine.
Macao, Wakaba, and Cana sat in their respective corner of the guild, sharing gossip over a few drinks, or in Cana's case, a lot of drinks. Macao and Wakaba had finally given up trying to break Cana of her alcoholic tendencies, finding it to prove fruitless as the years rolled by. Besides, Cana simply wasn't Cana without a month's worth of alcohol a day.
"You know, I see a lot of young love blossoming in the guild these days." Macao sighed, his tone suggesting that he was reflecting on "the good ol' days".
Wakaba snorted, his arms crossed and his cigar hanging precariously close to falling out of his mouth. "Probably because you're old and lonely. Quit ogling the youths, you creep."
Macao seethed back, "Says the one who's married and always hitting on young girls!"
"I think Macao's right for once." Cana interjected, taking her own sweeping glance around the room. The usual groups of mages were together, causing Cana to bear a slight grin.
"You could've left off the 'for once'." Macao grumbled dejectedly, tweaking his overgrown, unflattering mustache. Seriously, the thing looked like a drape for his upper lip.
"How do you think?" Wakaba asked Cana, completely ignoring his long time friend's evident sadness.
"Well, we know Erza's roped herself off for someone. And what a shame that is." Cana pointed to the redheaded requip mage, who was busy admonishing Elfman for picking on Jet and Droy. Elfman looked like he could use some help, actually. "Natsu and Lucy are closer than ever. Lucy tells all if you get her drunk enough." Cana smirked as she pointed to the pair who were hanging out at the request board, the dark gleam in her eyes actually frightening the two older mages.
"How drunk is drunk enough?" Macao whispered to Wakaba, his face pale.
Wakaba grinned, "Good question." Macao slapped him across the back of the head for being a creep.
"There's the classic tale of Beauty, the Beast, and all of his piercings over there sitting across from Jet and Droy. And then there's cool-guy-Gray who pretends he doesn't eat up the attention that Juvia gives him." Cana pointed to her next targets.
"I guess you could say she's pretty wet for Gray, if you know what I mean." Macao snickered at his own joke, giving himself a high five when Wakaba denied it.
Little Romeo, who had just come to ask his father a question about a job, stopped short. His face went beet red at his father's perverse comment, steam looking ready to roll out of his ears at any given moment. Macao turned to see his son blushing from head to toe at his comment and began to blush himself, stuttering, "Romeo? W-Where did you learn what that means?!"
"Well, a few weeks ago I went fishing with Wakaba and-"
"Oh, hey! That's enough Romeo! Look at the time, my wife really wants me home now!" Wakaba forced a laugh as he laid out his crafty escape. Caught red motherfucking handed.
"It's noon, you bastard!" Macao barked, snatching Wakaba by the collar and tossing him headlong into a neighboring booth. "And don't teach my son inappropriate things!" He yelled, catching the attention of most of the guild.
"Don't make jokes about Juvia being wet for Gray!" Wakaba countered.
Cana simply sipped from her barrel of booze, watching the argument with mirth in her eyes.
"J-Juvia feels exposed and embarrassed!" The water mage squeaked, hiding her glowing face behind her pale fingers. The contrast was truly striking.
"Oi! Where do ya' think you're gettin' off for humiliating Juvia like that?" Gray squawked, shaking his fist angrily as he stomped over to the site of the ruckus. "I mean, it's not like I care... or anything." He crossed his arms and looked towards the wall as he attempted to save face, very poorly. Cana swore she saw the wind blow through his hair carrying cherry blossom petals, she swore it.
"Cana's the one trying to play match-maker!" Macao stuttered his defense, pointing an accusing finger at the card mage before Wakaba finally peeled himself off of the table he'd been thrown onto and elegantly soared through the air to kick him in the back of the head.
"Match-maker?" Mirajane echoed, eyes honing in on the alcohol brunette. She discarded the rag she had been using to wipe the same spot on the bar for the past hour and a half. "But that's my overused, over-exaggerated trope!"
"I only pointed out the obvious." Cana droned, taking another long chug of booze in sweet, ignorant bliss of the growing aura of anger surrounding Satan in a dress.
"Ahh, Mira... Are you... Okay?" Lucy semi-bravely asked, genuinely concerned about the cloud of black surrounding her friend, but keeping her distance... Just in case.
Mira turned her sharp gaze towards Lucy, eyes ablaze with jealous rage as she did so. Lucy's eyes widened in surprise, her arms lifting to cover her face as she tried to defend herself. The demonic expression left Mira's face without a single trace and replaced itself with a smile, causing Lucy's head to spin as Mira gently replied, "Did you need something?"
The blonde paled considerably. "No thanks, I'm okay." Lucy sighed, watching as the argument escalated into some pathetic excuse of a brawl, seeing as Gray merely froze Macao and Wakaba in their places and strutted off with his shirt spinning around his index finger. The sass was impeccable.
"Gray-sama defended Juvia's honor!" Juvia announced in delight, trying in vain to catch Gray's attention as he strutted himself all the way to the request board, snatched a random job without looking, and then exited the guild.
"Does he always have to do that?" Lucy muttered under her breath, watching his receding form throw his pants into the sky with a sparkle.
"What smells like axe body spray mixed with... Is that cherry blossom?" Natsu wondered aloud as he walked over to where Lucy was sitting at the bar. A few rows away, Cana announced, "Hah! I knew it!"
Lucy just shook her head. Honestly, the people in this guild could be so spontaneous and abrupt. "Hey Natsu, wanna fu-
Sorry kiddies. Also I'd like to share a few headcanons. Let me know if you'd like me to elaborate or write about these as crack or serious writing.
#1. Gray is a lowkey narcissist.
#2. Cana/Meredy one night stand or eventual relationship. This is a crack pairing and I think I may be the only one who die hard ships this.
#3. Cana and Juvia brotp. Cana and Bacchus fwb.
