CHAPTER SUMMARY: Emma finally has a talk with her mother and Regina gives Belle a much needed break from watching over her an unconscious Gold.
"Emma no!"
The screaming. So much screaming. She was surrounded by darkness. Faces swirled around her, sometimes distorted and fraught with pain. The shrill fearful tortured scream beckoned for her to save them.
Emma felt helpless.
"No!" Was that Henry's voice? "Stop it, Ma! You're killing her! Mom! Mom!"
Emma sprung awake with a horrified yell, wet with perspiration and gasping for breath. Her wide eyes took in her surroundings. The wooden walls of her bedroom coming into focus in the nearly departing darkness of dawn. Moving slightly, she felt the uneasy tension in her body and her muscles ached as she realized they were from her thrashing in her sleep.
Throwing her covers aside she rose from the bed completely naked and slowly traipsed across her bedroom to the large floor-to-ceiling window and stood before it. She wished Regina was here; wished that she was in the next room if not in bed beside her. Oddly enough it wasn't about sex, or well not in that moment. There was a powerful need just to be near her, touching her… protecting her?
A lone tear slowly trickled down her cheek and she pressed her palms against the glass peering out into the darkness.
Regina, what are you doing right now? She imagined that Henry's other mother was in bed. Please be alone.
Emma placed her forehead against the cool glass willing the temperature to seep into her and chill the burning jealousy she felt at imagining Regina in bed with Robin. Her jaw clenched painfully and she fought the urge to do something terrible. It was getting harder to fight the darkness. Feelings of rage, jealousy, bitterness… they were all swirling around inside her head, threatening to engulf her.
Kill him.
"No."
You want to kill him. Wipe that smug grin off his face.
Grinding her back teeth, she gulped hard and shut her eyes tightly against the murderous urges she was having.
He's a shrub! Kill him and be done with it. Then, you can have her all to yourself.
Emma's lips parted in an almost sensual manner as her eyes glassed over with a homicidal lust. This was the worst she had ever felt it. The desire to kill. She tried to shake the feeling.
Breaking his neck would be like snapping a twig. You need not even touch him.
Her outstretched fingers flexed on the cold glass and she bumped her head once roughly against it. Regina, Henry. Thoughts of them usually helped bring her back into focus.
Do yourself a favor and KILL him. No one will miss him.
Suddenly an image of little Roland popped into her mind, smiling with those cute dimples. People had told her she had cute dimples as a child, though not cute enough to adopt apparently.
Roland would miss his father. Roland who had no mother. Roland who would then be an orphan, like she had been.
KILL him. Take his heart. Crush it. And the Queen will be ours.
"NO!" Her scream echoed through the house as she turned and fell, sitting scrunched up into a ball against the window with her head in her hands, her fingers pulling at the hair at her temples, every muscle in her body tense.
Regina. Henry. Regina.
Emma rested her forehead between her knees and wept.
[X]
Swinging the glass door of the Sheriff's station open, Emma stomped through looking more ragged and tired than she did yesterday morning and her employees could see that her complexion was paler.
One of her deputies, Smitty, stopped with a deer in the headlight look.
"Smitty!"
"Uh… Morning, Sheriff." His face turned ghost white with fear and where Emma would have been concerned before she felt a stab of pleasure to generate such nervous fright. He kept looking into the main room and back at Emma.
"Why does it sound like a ghost town in there? Where is everyone?"
"Uh… Uh… Uh…"
Out of nowhere impatience spiked and Emma threatened. "I can take your tongue if you want a speech impediment."
"Leave him alone, Emma."
The dark one's head whipped around the corner and at her father's desk, sat instead all by her lonesome, was Mary Margaret, holding the framed photo of the Charming family that David kept on the desk, taken some months ago. David, Mary Margaret and Emma who was holding her baby brother, Neal.
The air was quiet and still for a moment before Emma ordered, "Out," to her deputy, not even sparing him a glance. She sauntered in to the room measuring the dark short haired woman up and down.
"You were going to have to talk to me sometime."
Emma saw both love and hope behind guarded eyes. It was the love she saw that unnerved her, but the blonde raised her chin opposingly. "Mom." She chucked the Volkswagen's keys onto a desk and proceeded closer. "How come you're not at work?"
Mary Margaret replaced the photo on the desk's corner with a snort. "I'm on forced sabbatical. Apparently the town's parents have issues with the mother of the Dark One teaching their children. I'm guilty just for popping you out of my womb."
Emma's eyes darted down and off to the side and back at Mary Margaret. She knew her mother loved teaching but she wasn't going to feel guilty about this.
Mary Margaret eyed her daughter and there was a fleeting smile that passed through her features. "I told them to fu…" It was as if the woman suddenly remembered herself, "… fudge off."
Emma couldn't help the grin from blooming on her face. She imagined in the heat of anger, mild-mannered Mary Margaret Blanchard indeed used the real F-word and she wished she had been there to see their faces.
"You're still my daughter."
Emma's smile disappeared. "Of course I am. It's still me." Just with an evil entity living inside me. Emma crossed her arms and lifted a leg to sit on the corner of an adjacent desk. "Is that what you came here for? To make sure I was still here?" There was a bitter edge to her next words. "The prodigal daughter? That the savior was still intact?"
"Emma… You make it sound so…"
"Grand, imposing, heroic…"
"…like that was all you were to us."
Emma raised a doubtful eyebrow and opened her mouth but Mary Margaret's jaw tightened and she narrowed her eyes, angered by the thought that her daughter could think such a thing.
"You weren't." The vehemence in her mother's eyes shouldn't have been so surprising but the hurt in them were and it jarred Emma.
The blonde's chest heaved with a large weary sigh and then she nodded. "Ok. Now what?"
"I… honestly don't know. How do you feel?"
Like I'm losing my mind and I want to go on a murdering spree. "Ok."
"I heard you broke up with Killian."
That earned a derisive snort from Emma. "I heard the bastard got drunk at the Rabbit Hole and now everyone knows I broke up with him in detail. A pirate and his rum. For fuck's sake." She grinned at Mary Margaret's cringe at the cuss word.
"I thought you loved him."
"I…" What? "I thought I loved him, but I was wrong and misspoke."
"You misspoke…"
Emma rolled her eyes and shrugged. "I thought I might die at the time. Sorry if my thoughts were a little scrambled."
"Where I come from the word love isn't to be taken lightly."
"Where you come from, crazy people burst into song at any moment and wolves blow houses down."
"He's hurt, Emma." Mary Margaret put up a hand, "Don't misunderstand. I'm a little relieved it's over but, it was a bit cold how you handled it, wasn't it?"
Emma leaned forward, forearm on her thigh. "I prefer to think of it as blunt honesty. I can't help it if the truth hurts."
"And Regina?"
Emma narrowed her eyes in scrutiny. Killian was an easy subject where Regina was not and she became instantly defensive. "What about Regina?"
"People talk, Emma."
"People should mind their own business."
"Are you interested in Regina?"
The end of Emma's lip curled up in a salacious smirk. "That's one way of putting it. I am very interested in Regina."
"As more than friends…"
"Obviously…"
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why the blatant interest in Regina all of a sudden?" Mary Margaret studied her daughter but Emma could tell there was also a protectiveness for… a friend.
"You think I'm going to hurt Regina."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to." Emma became angry and she could feel the tips of her fingers itch with the thrum of dark magic wanting to be unleashed. She had to check it. She had to calm herself.
"Emma, you're my daughter. I see you in there, but you're also the Dark One." Mary Margaret stood and Emma was impressed with her mother's challenging gait. "I think it's natural to wonder if perhaps it's not the Dark One who wants the Queen… for something."
The smirk Emma wore turned into a full on leer as she crossed her arms and shot her mother an entirely indecent look. "She's wanted for many things. Not that it's any of your business, mommy dearest, but yes, I am planning on bedding Regina." She was satisfied as Mary Margaret's look faltered. "And whatever happens will be between Regina and myself."
"Regina has been dragged through enough darkness. I won't see her put through it again."
The muscles in Emma's jaw tightened. "Oh yes, the path you helped put her on with your big mouth." Where did that come from? "Did you ever stop to wonder whether all this is your fault?"
"Emma!"
Emma felt she was crossing a line but she couldn't stop, didn't want to, and yet she knew it was wrong. "You put yourself pretty high on that pedestal, don't you? The ever-heroic Charmings, benevolent rulers. Maybe it's your fault that I am who I am now." The Dark One hopped off the corner of the desk coming menacingly closer to the former Princess of the White Kingdom. "I'm here because of you! This is all your fault."
With the look Mary Margaret wore, Emma might as well have just slapped her. The dark haired woman visibly gulped and her eyes became glassy and moist.
It was then that Emma felt remorse and her look softened. She didn't know what possessed her to say those things. Actually, she knew exactly what made her say them: anger, impatience, resentment… the darkness.
She recoiled backwards and took in her mother's pained expression. "Mom, I…"
She didn't get to finish as there was a loud shuffle at the front of the building and David ran in looking disheveled like he had been in a rush to get dressed and come to work though his shift didn't start until the afternoon.
He halted as he saw them and Emma could detect that he was upset and bothered. "Emma," he greeted simply with a head nod and as if losing composure he directed a withering gaze at his wife. "I got your note. I specifically told you not to come down here alone."
"Are you afraid I'd hurt her, Dad?" Which in a way was what she had done.
"I… didn't know what to think."
"I'm fine, David," Mary Margaret said and she made her way passed Emma and stopped looking her dead in the eye. "I'm not a perfect mother. I learned my mother wasn't," and she raised her chin defiantly, "… and neither are you. All parents make mistakes. But I will protect the ones I love." Mary Margaret gave her a measuring look and nodded, "Including you, Emma. Always."
Emma continued to look straight ahead as Mary Margaret walked swiftly passed her and as she turned she watched her parents leave the station together, united as always, and Emma found it fascinating that her mother not only vowed to protect her, but Regina as well.
Things really had come a long way between them.
[X]
"Is he awake? Any change?" Regina closed the door of Gold's Pawn Shop and approached the counter where a haggard Belle hunched over a large worn out book with tattered pages.
Straightening and flipping her dark auburn curls over her shoulder, Belle managed with a sigh. "No. No change."
Inspecting the woman in front of her, Regina noticed the dark circles under Belle's light colored eyes, which Regina had thought were once green, but looked blue now. Emma eyes were similar in that they changed color also. Sometimes they reminded Regina of the sky, while other times they were the color of a tranquil sea that would turn stormy when Emma's mood changed. Emma.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts of the person that had been occupying them the most recently, Regina tilted her head and stated what she thought was the obvious, "You look terrible, Belle."
The woman snorted back at her with an eye-roll, "Thank you, Regina. My husband is in a coma and I don't know whether he's going to live or die, but let me take a moment to freshen up and put my party dress on for you."
Regina bit the side of her tongue to keep her smile in check. Yet another reminder that the bookworm had some bite in her, but Regina would rather deal with an annoyed Belle than a disconsolate one. Regina wasn't exactly the hopeful cheerleader that Mary Margaret was.
"I just meant that you look a little undernourished and exhausted. You're not going to do him any good or be able to take care of him if you don't take care of yourself."
With a tired huff, Belle slouched and admitted, "Yes, I know."
"Have you even eaten today?"
"Well," a sorry expression passed across her face as Belle chewed her bottom lip guiltily, "… just a couple of crackers."
"A couple of crackers?" Regina gaped at the librarian and shook her head. "What are you? A parrot?"
At once, Belle jerked her head back offended. "As I said, I have had other things on my mind."
"Yes, well it's about time you got out and at least gotten some sustenance. "Fresh air, sunshine, food."
"Regina, I appreciate the concern, really, but I'll be okay."
"You know what day it is?" When Belle's brow furrowed in confusion, Regina leaned on the counter smirking, "It's Western Bacon Cheesburger Day at Granny's." Regina saw the flickering sparkle of hunger flit across those eyes, but Belle suddenly pulled back and grimaced.
"Surely, you're not suggesting I choose between my husband and a hamburger."
Regina leaned closer, "A quarter-pound angus beef patty, on a sesame seed bun with cheddar cheese, two crispy strips of bacon and two thick onion rings with barbecue sauce running down your fingers. Fresh lettuce, tomato…" Regina could have sworn she heard Belle's stomach growl, "…and thick cut French fries." Did Belle just whimper? The poor woman was positively starved. "Go. Get yourself something to eat. Sit and talk with people for just a while. I'll be here with him."
Belle raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Leave you here with him."
"He's no good to me passed out, Belle." Regina smiled, "You can trust me."
"Uh-huh. The last time we were in this shop alone together, you took my heart." Belle crossed her arms and shot Regina a pointed look.
Exasperated, Regina lost her composure for a moment and looked skyward and glared at Belle. "You knew what I was going to do! We had talked about it in detail and you agreed. But in the forest, I told you to forget about it." Regina looked Belle up and down mockingly, "I should have known a bookworm like you would take it so literally."
Belle shook her head, "I can't leave him Regina. What if he were to wake up and I wasn't here?"
Regina sympathetically nodded her head in understanding and summoning her magic, she waved her hands over the counter and in a swirl of smoke there appeared a shining shimmering rose standing encased in glass. Regina grabbed the large nylon handle strapped to the glass sides and held it up to show Belle.
"This rose symbolizes his state. As long as the petals are intact, he's fine. If the rose opens and blooms, he's awake."
"A rose… really?"
"Haven't you see the cartoon, Beauty & the Beast?" Regina shrugged, "I thought you'd get a kick out of it." She watched Belle roll her eyes, but there was an upturned curl to her lips. "Now, go get something to eat."
Belle diagonally slipped the strap over her head and wore the light glass and rose like a bag and she looked down at it. "If even one petal falls, I am coming back."
"I would expect nothing less."
There was a moment of silence before Belle looked up and said, "Thank you, Regina." Still not used to people thanking her for anything, Regina tightened her lips and nodded. "I'll be back in about an hour."
"Okay."
Belle gave Regina one last cursory look and left the shop and Regina looked around the room in her absence. Along the shelves were stacked many artifacts and antiques from the old world, some she recognized seeing before, others she thought she might have read about, but she wasn't here to shop.
Walking through the curtain into the back room, she found Gold lying on a settee looking very at peace and she clenched her jaw at the irony, that he may be the only one at peace in this town. She brought a stool over and sat down next to him.
"Oh, the times I wished for a moment like this." She looked all along his form. "It would be so easy to squeeze the life out of you." Taking a casual glance around the room, she returned to him and continued, "But as it is, I find that I need you to wake up because I need your help."
She expelled a brief helpless laugh into the air. "I need your help. You… who made me who I am." Regina looked down at her hands. "Who I was. And now, in a way, Emma is who she is because of you…" Regina looked away, "… and me. She sacrificed herself for me. Damn it! I told her not to! I told her to stop!" More laughter into the air, "Why doesn't that woman ever listen to me?"
He didn't move and Regina wondered whether he could even hear her. He looked like a shell of a man rather than the Dark One she knew.
Regina let her thoughts drift to Emma. Emma who had told her she had wanted her. Emma who had shown her how much she wanted her. She could still feel the exhilaration of having her back pressed against Emma's kitchen counter as the blonde fondled her. Regina's budding desire had been stoked with each caress of a fingertip, and she felt her center clench thinking of how her earlobe had been sucked and nibbled by the blonde. Just that contact alone had garnered more lust and want than several of Robin's enamored kisses. She hadn't given him a passing thought that night with Emma, though Emma always seemed to be in the back of her mind at all times, somewhere, never completely forgotten.
"I am so confused," the brunette began aloud but then stopped. If Gold could hear her, this was something she didn't want to share with him: her feelings for Emma Swan.
"Everyone is looking to me. For answers, expectations… I don't know what to do." Frustration was threatening to take her over so to alleviate the build-up she allowed a little irritation to spill forth. "Wake up! Damn you!"
The crinkle in her forehead cut a little deeper as she reluctantly leaned forward and spoke in unusual sincerity with this man that she had quite an extensive evil history with. "I need you to answer my questions, so that I can save Emma."
