Doomed.
That word keeps repeating itself over and over in the back of her head. Katniss tries to push the negative thoughts that come to her mind, but the negative thoughts just seem to overpower the positive ones as she replays in her mind what just happened to her.
A visit from President Snow. Districts on the verge of uprisings. A direct death threat to Gale, Peeta, Rye, and with other's to follow. Everyone she love's doomed. And who knows who else will pay for her actions? Unless she turns things around on this tour. Quiet the discontent and put the president's mind at rest. And how? By proving to the country beyond any shadow of doubt that she would have sacrificed herself for her brother and that her and Cato are truly in love and that those are his kids.
Those are his fucking kids.
Every time Katniss brings this piece of the conversation up in her mind she gets utterly pissed off by the fact that people are so got damn blind and narrow-minded that they can't see what the hell is right in front of their very eyes! Skye and Raven look like their father in most of their features. Maybe Skye more than Raven, but still it should be easy to tell who their father is without having to do a fucking blood test.
What is wrong with people in Panem? Can't they see it for themselves? The raw passion that her and Cato share for each other?
Cato's not indifferent to her. And she'll show them, she'll show every single one of them that their love is real and not a shame to just get under President Snow's skin. They can believe whatever the hell they want to believe about what happened at the end of the Games because they weren't too far from the truth of things.
A sharp, harsh tug on her braid makes her come back to reality and find that she must have gotten lost in her thoughts as she doesn't know how long she has been standing in the same spot, still holding Skye in her arms with Raven holding onto one of her legs, since President Snow left.
Another tug on her braid brings her back again as she realized she was about to get lost in her head again. Shaking her head slightly, as if that would clear it, she turns her head toward Skye who is the culprit in the harsh tugging of her hair to get her attention.
It's like she's staring into her own eyes except the eyes she's looking at are staring at her with wide eyes and those wide eyes have tiny specks of blue in them if you get close enough. Katniss lets her eyes roam over Skye's face as she takes in his chubby cheeks that have a slight red tint to them, his nose, his eyebrows, and the way his mouth is formed…..
Another tug on her hair and this one actually hurt a little. She has to get herself under control. She can't just keep zoning out like that. Especially when her mother, Hagan, and Prim will be at her house soon so they can be together when the cameras arrive.
She brings a hand up to run it through Skye's soft, unruly, curly, blond hair as he stares at her with a little frown on his chubby face. Katniss's eyebrows furrow as she takes in the look on his face, "What? What's wrong sweetie?"
Skye scrunches his eyebrows together as he says slowly, "Fewd."
Katniss smiles as he completes what he says. Both Skye and Raven have at least a twenty to thirty vocabulary. "You want some food? Let's go see what we have to eat down in the kitchen. You like that sweetie?" She ask sweetly.
Skye nods his head vigorously and Katniss lets out a chuckle as some of the tension rolls off of her. She looks down at Raven, though not at all surprised that she's quite right now –Raven is like Katniss in the morning, not very talkative. Katniss also isn't surprised to see that Raven has her thumb in her mouth again. Katniss is still trying to break that habit.
"You hungry Ray?" Katniss calls Raven by the nickname their father thought of.
Raven looks up at her Momma with her thumb still in her mouth as she nods and let's go of the hold she had on her Momma's leg and starts to walk slowly out of the room. Katniss follows close behind her, just in case she might accidentally trip over her own two feet and fall like she did last time, and that was a terrifying sight to see for both Katniss and Cato.
They get to the stairs and Katniss helps her down the stairs slowly as she still is carrying Skye who likes to be held instead of walking on his own. Katniss should stop babying him and let him get used to walking on his own, but she can't help it when Skye looks up at her with his big, bright, round eyes when he asks to be picked up.
She's weak when it comes to her kids; she knows this, but at least Cato's worse than her.
…
A knock on the door travels to where Katniss is standing in the kitchen, watching Raven and Skye eat the porridge she warmed up for them. She doesn't move to get the door because she knows who's there and plus the door is always unlocked, so they will just walk in on their own.
She hears their footsteps before she sees them and then she feels someone latch onto her waist in a sideways hug as a high voice, that she knows so well, says, "Morning Kat."
Katniss smiles down at the blonde girl and hugs her slightly before letting go, "Morning Prim."
"Hey Kat." Hagan says cheerfully as he walks over to where the twins are sitting and picks up Raven.
Their mother comes into the kitchen next and kisses the twins on their cheeks before say a good morning to Katniss. They are still trying to mend their relationship back together after Katniss and Hagan came home from the Games. For the most part it's still hard for Katniss to open up to her mother, but at least she is trying.
"The people will be here soon. Would you like me to run you a bath Katniss?" her mother ask softly.
Katniss nods and her mother's face lights up at her daughter's acceptance and leaves the kitchen to get her bath running for her. Katniss looks at Prim and Hagan and sees them playing with the twins, seeing as they both finished their food.
"Can you guys give them a bath while I'll go take one myself?" she ask them.
Prim looks up at her with a bright smile, "Sure Kat. That won't be a problem."
Katniss nods and turns to leave to follow in her mother's footsteps.
…..
Katniss submerges herself in the hot bath water that her mother ran for her. Her mother even add a small bag of dried flowers that perfumes the air. It's weird for her to be in this kind of luxury because she used to not have it back in the Seam. Hot water meant that you had to get a pot of water and boil it over the fire or else you'd be stuck with just using cold water, but now all she had to do was turn on a tap and hot water just gushes out of it.
She lowers herself even more into the water until it comes in contact with her chin and now she finds herself relaxing and trying to get her thoughts in order before her prep team comes bursting through the bathroom door like she knows they will when they arrive.
The first question is who to tell, if there is anyone to tell. Not her mother, not Prim, definitely not Hagan. He's been through enough as it is. Not Gale, not Rye they would just become angry and do something reckless that would get them all into more trouble. Maybe Peeta? He's always been the calm and rational one when it comes to hard times. Maybe she can persuade him too…..what? Run away and convince Rye and Gale to go with him because their lives are in danger? That would never work because they would never leave behind the rest of the family.
She shakes her head. She can't tell anyone that she is leaving behind in district 12.
But what about the people she isn't leaving behind? There's three people she can confined in. there's Cinna -her stylist-, but yet he might already be at risk for unconsciously helping her in the pre-Games. Then there's Cato, her partner, her lover, the one who is caught up in this mess also, but so is Hagan and she's still not going to tell him. So should she tell Cato?
No, no, how would she even start that conversation? She could just see it now; Hey Cato. What's wrong you say? Oh, nothing other than that everybody in the whole nation thinks that our love isn't real and the kids aren't really yours. I just made that up for show and President Snow wants a blood test because he thinks they're either Gale's or Rye's. Oh yea, I almost forgot my family might be six feet under if I can't prove to President Snow by the end of the tour that everything was not fake.
Yea, no.
Cato will be worse than Gale and Rye combined when he goes on his rampage.
The only person left is Haymitch. Newly sober, cranky, confrontational Haymitch, who she just poured a basin of ice water on. As her mentor in the Games, it was his duty to keep her alive. She can only hope that he's still up for the job because he's the only one she can count on right now who won't get angry and start throwing shit around, he is the only person who will be his first instinct is to think of a good solid plan.
And that's what she needs right now, a level headed person.
Katniss sinks deeper into the water as it goes into her ears, blocking out the sound around her. The tub strangely reminds her of the lake her father used to take her to when he was still alive. He taught her how to swim at the lake when she was young.
She never took anyone to the lake. She could have but that place was sacred to her as it reminded her of her father. The laughs they had and the bonding that they did together.
Even nearly underwater she can still hear the sounds of commotion. Honking car horns, shouts of greetings, doors slamming shut. It can only mean that her entourage has arrived. She just has time to towel off and slip into a robe before her prep team comes barging into the bathroom. There's no question of privacy.
"Katniss, your eyebrows!" Venia shrieks right off, and even through Katniss is not in the mood for them, she has to stifle a laugh. Her aqua hair has been styled so it sticks out in sharp points all over her head, and the gold tattoos that used to be confined over her eyebrows have curled around under her eyes, all contributing to the impression that Katniss has literally shocked her.
Octavia comes up and pats Venia on the back soothingly, her curvy body looking plumper than usual next to Venia thin, angular one. "There, there, you can fix those in no time, but what am I going to do with these nails?" She grabs her hand and examines the bitten down nails. "Really, Katniss, you could have left me something to work with!" she wails.
It's true. She's bitten her nails down to the stubs in the past months. She thought about stopping, but couldn't think of a good enough reason why she should. "Sorry." She mutters. She can really care less about it though. She has more important matters to think about.
After some more fussing over Katniss's body, her prep team goes into their usually routine that Katniss has gotten used to when they had to prep her for her first Hunger Games. Only difference is now that her prep team is preparing her for her tour all around the districts.
Her prep team starts their usually chatter about what's been going on since the Hunger Games ended. Normally Katniss would find herself tuning them out, but as she thinks of her currently situation at hand here any information about the Capitol will help and what better way to get some information than from her over talkative prep team.
Soon Katniss is disappointed that they are talking about nothing important, only how the Games were a hit, how dull thing have been since, and how no one can wait until her and Hagan visit again at the end of the Victory Tour. The only good thing she got out of it was that everybody was excited to get a look at her and Cato's kids. At least the Capital people aren't as narrow-minded as the district people and actually believe that Cato is the father of her twins.
The bad thing that Katniss didn't want to hear or even think about was how it won't be long before the Capitol begins gearing up for the Quarter Quell.
"Isn't it thrilling?"
"Don't you feel so luck?"
"In you very first year of being a victor, you get to be a mentor in a Quarter Quell!"
Her prep teams' words overlap in their blur of excitement.
"Ecstatic." Katniss mutters sarcastically, but it was lost on deaf ears as they kept talking. It was the best Katniss can do to not snap at them to shut the hell because she didn't want to hear them talking about how she and her brother are going to how to mentor and watch their tribute s get slaughtered if they don't do it right. In a normal year, being a mentor to the tribute is a nightmare.
Katniss can't even walk by the school anymore because her mind with have her thinking which unlucky kid will have to coach. But to make things even worse, this is the year of the Seventy-fifth Hunger Games, and that means it's also a Quarter Quell.
They occur every twenty-five years, marking the anniversary of the districts' defeat with over-the-top celebrations and, for extra fun, some miserable twist for the tributes. Katniss has never been alive for one, of course. In school she remembers hearing that for the second Quarter Quell, the Capitol demanded that twice the number of tributes be provided for the arena. That was the year that their very own Haymitch Abernathy won the crown.
"Haymitch better be preparing himself for a lot of attention!" squeals Octavia.
Haymitch has never mentioned his personal experience to Katniss or anyone. Katniss would never ask because she wouldn't want someone asking about hers either.
"So Katniss are you excited to see Cato again, after him being away?" asked Venia.
This question catches Katniss by surprise, but it brings a smile to her face nonetheless because she really has missed Cato so much since he left to visit his mother in District Two. "I am. I know the twins will be overjoyed when they see him." She says with a slight smile on her face.
"Oh everybody just loves the two of you together. Who would have thought that the grandson of President Snow would have a secret relationship with someone form as simple as District Twelve?" Flavius exclaims with dreamy eyes.
"It's the best love story that the Capitol has ever heard of!" Octavia squeals before they settle down and continually talk about other things happening in their luxurious lives. And little did they know that from them saying things that they thought was just simple gossip was really giving Katniss reassurance once again.
Soon her eyebrows are stinging, her hair is smooth, and her nails are ready to be painted. Apparently her prep team were giving the instructions to only prepare her hands and face, probably because everything else will be covered in the cold weather.
When her hair is done, she finds Cinna downstairs in the living room, and just the sight of him makes her feel more hopeful than before. He looks the same as he always does, simple clothes, short brown hair, just a hint of gold eyeliner. They embrace, and Katniss has to bite her tongue from spilling out everything that happened to her this morning about her episode with President Snow.
She scolds herself for her weak will. She reminds herself that she can't put him in anymore danger than her already is by just simply being her stylist. The only person she can tell is Haymitch and Haymitch only. But Cinna is so easy to talk to, though. Lately they have been speaking a lot over the telephone that came with the house. Cinna had started to call about working on her talent.
Every victor is supposed to have one. Your talent is the activity you take up since you don't have to work either in school or your district industry. It can be anything, really, anything that they can interview you about. Hagan, it turns out as a really big shock to the rest of the family, actually has a talent in painting. Apparently since he's been back he has been spending his free time down at the Mellark bakery, since he doesn't have to go to school anymore. Peeta was the one who taught him everything he knew and Hagan just seemed fascinated by it ever since and has become really good at it with Peeta's help.
Katniss doesn't have a talent, unless you count hunting illegally, which they don't. Or maybe singing, but she would dare do it for the Capitol in a million years. Her mother tried to interest her in a variety of suitable alternatives from a list Effie Trinket sent her. Cooking, flower arranging, playing the flute. None of them took, although Prime had a knack for all three.
Finally Cinna stepped in and offered to help her develop her passion for designing clothes, which really required development since it was nonexistent. But she had said yes because it meant getting to talk to Cinna, and he promised he'd do all the work.
Now he's arranging things around her living room: clothing, fabrics, and sketchbooks with designs he's drawn. Katniss picks up one of the sketchbooks and examines a dress that she supposedly created. "You know, I think I show a lot of promise." She says cheekily.
"Get dressed, you worthless thing," he says, tossing a bundle of clothes at her.
She may have no interest in designing clothes but she does love the ones Cinna makes for her. Like these; flowing black pants made of thick, warm material. A comfortable white shirt. A sweater woven from green and blue and gray strands of kitten-soft wool. Laced leather boots that don't pinch her toes.
"Did I design me outfit?" she asks
"No, you aspire to design your outfit and be like me, your fashion hero," says Cinna. He hands her a small stack of cards. "You'll read these off camera while they're filming the clothes. Try to sound like you care."
After the shoot is over, Cinna puts a furry coat on Katniss and then goes over to Skye and Raven to put their little jackets on them. Her mother comes rushing toward her with something cupped in her hand. "For good luck," she says.
It's the pin Madge gave her before she left for the Games. A mockingjay flying in a circle of gold. Katniss tried to give it to Rue but she wouldn't take it. She said the pin was the reason she'd decided to trust her and her brother. Cinna fixes it on the knot in the scarf.
Effie Trinket nearby, clapping her hands. "Attention, everyone! We're done here all we need to do is get Katniss and Hagan heading off to the train station and them getting on it, and waving goodbye to their family. So let's move it, we have a schedule to stick to!" She chirps.
Cinna slowly walks over with Skye and Raven holding his hands as they walk on their own towards their mother. "You know I am finally glad I'm able to meet the twins after hearing so much about them. Skye looks so much like Cato that it's scary to think that when he gets older he'll be an exact replica of his father." He says as he hands them over to her and Hagan, who has just finished putting on his jacket with the help of his Stylist- Portia.
"At least someone sees it." Katniss mutters under her breath as she fights to roll her eyes while positioning Skye on her hip.
"What was that?" Cinna ask suspiciously.
"Oh nothing, nothing. I was just agreeing with you. Anyway are we ready to go?" Katniss quickly changes the subject before he can comment any further on it.
"We are all set. Let's head to the train station people!" Effie's excited voice stops Cinna short from what he was going to say, much to Katniss's relief.
The doors open and Hagan is the first to step outside into the still snowy morning with Raven in his arms and Katniss follows after him with Skye. For a moment she can't see anything because of the snow, which is coming down in earnest. Then she makes out a dark, tall figure heading toward her and Hagan and she just knows it's Cato as they get closer.
"Look Skye, " she points to Cato, "—whose that?"
Skye turns his head to look at what she's pointing at and since they have gotten closer he can easily see who it is.
"Dadda!" he screams as he struggles to get out of Katniss's arms and into his father's.
Katniss lets out a chuckle and sets him down on the snowy ground. Skye immediately takes off as fast as his chubby legs can carry him to get to his father. Raven does the same when she recognizes her father.
Katniss and Hagan stand back a little as they watch Cato smile at the two little people running toward him. Cato crouches down and opens his arms for them to run into with a big smile on his face.
The twins both run into their fathers outstretched arms and Cato stands to his full height, bringing them with him as he spends them around in the snowy weather while showering their faces with kisses.
An unconscious smile makes its way onto Katniss's face as she watches them, wishing that it can always be like this. But sadly, all good things must come to an end. Reality of it all comes crashing down on her like a bucket of ice cold water as she hears President's Snow's voice in her head saying, "Convince me."
But Katniss doesn't have the slightest clue how to do that because she and Cato aren't faking anything. Maybe she should act like she normally does, but be more affectionate? Hopefully when she has her talk with Haymitch later she will have a better grasp on things.
Katniss starts to walk over to where Cato is still holding the twins in his arm and Cato flashes her a loving smile when he sees her. When she gets close enough she cups Cato's face in both hands and brings it down a couple of inches so she can reach his lips to give him a long overdue kiss.
The kiss is gentle and sweet and full of love, and it has Cato smiling through all of it. He's happy to finally know what it feels like to have a family who loves him unconditionally and he would never trade them for the world.
"Hey," Katniss breaths as she finally pulls away from the kiss, but keeps her hands where they are on his recently clean, shaven face.
"Hey, I missed you." He tells her sincerely.
A small smile makes its way onto Katniss's face as she stares into her lover's icy, blue eyes. The same eye's that Raven inherited from her father. "I've missed you too, Cato." Is her reply as her thumbs trace his sharp cheekbones.
A mischievous glint appears in Cato's eyes and he suddenly starts to smirk, "We have a whole month of making up to do."
Important A/N
Hey everybody, I'm back!
Sorry it took so long. I know I said that I would post the second chapter in October last year, but things didn't go as I planned them. I have been swamped with high school and college work to the point where all I do is study day in and day out. I basically have no life right now.
Don't know when the third chapter will be up. I haven't even started on it yet. it might take a while because I don't do short chapters because I hate short chapter. And I'm not going to half ass a chapter just to put it up quickly. I take pride in my work, so you won't get any crappy chapters from me. Just to let you know most of my chapters are 10 pages long in Word Doc and I can't write that in a day. So be patient with me.
Summer is almost here and I might have more time on my hands to write and put up more chapters, but I can't give you a specific date on when they will be up. Just know that my heart is still in this story and I just can't drop it like I did my first story.
Also, today is my birthday! I am 17 now. Yay!
Anyways, please review because I do absolutely love when I can read about what people think of this story so far and their ideas on what I can had into it. If you have any ideas that you would like for me to consider in putting it in my story then message me. I'm open for ideas, but it doesn't mean that i will do what you suggest. It's a possibility that I might. Who knows.
I want to take a minute and give a shout out to a reader of my story, this person knows who I'm talking to them. This person has given me a great idea to add in my story and i can wait to write about it. Thank you for the idea.
Please Review!
