The song throughout the chapter is "Always There" by Orla Fallon, and named after so. A beautiful love song. :')
Chapter Three
Always There
He rarely saw Kilana ever since preparations for the war began; she'd only been on the station for a month, and the war against the Federation had gone on for three whole months. Who knew how much longer while Dukat kept up with his slow self. The day ended and gave him the time to see her, when he could enjoy her company and avoid the insufferable Cardassian, the intolerable Major Kira, Jake Sisko's offending articles which Weyoun had blocked from being sent out, and the other war efforts.
The reason Kilana was here was because she had been with the Founder when she finally came to Terok Nor, having stayed close to their god because of the Founder having no particular assignment for her at the present time, and the positions of stationing the main ketracel-white facility and its companions throughout Cardassian space were filled. Kilana was apparently the only Vorta in the Alpha Quadrant who had nothing better to do even in the excitement, so Weyoun wanted her to come here. It wasn't right for her to be without a position. He would keep her close to him.
"If I bothered you at a terrible time -"
She held up her hand and stopped him. "Not at all. In fact, you couldn't have come at a more perfect timing..." She trailed off and lowered her eyes timidly to the floor. It dawned on Weyoun that she'd had another visitor long before he came along, and he narrowed his eyes.
"Dukat," he said softly, poison on his tongue. She nodded, looking back up at him.
"He said he wanted to 'apologize' for his 'rude' behavior and offered me a token of good will, with another on the way."
Weyoun's eyes fell around her neck when her eyes matching his fell down south - and a necklace was wrapped around, resting above the soft, exposed curves of her chest, his jaw clenching at the double-stranded insult from the Cardassian. "Kilana, start from the beginning and tell me exactly what happened when he was here." He stepped into her quarters, the door closing behind him. She took his hand and led him over to the couch, shifting so her body faced his as she began the story.
"Dukat came here as soon as everyone was closing in for curfew, so then he would have his time alone, and I was afraid at first. Our people are sometimes subjected to more than diplomacy and reasoning, you know that," Kilana whispered as she looked into his eyes in return, the vulnerability present that Weyoun wanted to take her into his hold as the feel of her in his arms not only relaxed her but also made him feel serene, too, but she pushed him aside. She wanted to feel as tense as possible until she finished the entire event. "But he was only smiling and being sincere; I still didn't appreciate that, Weyoun. All I could do was smile like the good Vorta that I was, show our ally the respect he should have, and that was what he said, indeed. I quote, 'I will show you the respect you deserve if only you show me the same in return. And I give you this in return'. He gave me this necklace."
Weyoun could not judge it other than by the previously mentioned double-strand and resting above her heart. "I won't be surprised if he boasted about this," he said disgustedly, and she laughed softly. The first time she laughed since he arrived.
"He said this was of twisted gold links set with polished beads and soft blue swirling with rose, that it was a lustrous piece of art every Cardassian lusted for but didn't acquire every day. It's very rare, and 'it's perfect for a gracious young creature like yourself'," she quoted, her lip curling. "I tried to return it to him, but he insisted that I wear it, and he would not take no for an answer. It makes me dread what the other gift is he has coming up now." She turned away from Weyoun then, leaving him to look down at the floor in front of them and saying nothing. All he could do was dwell on thoughts of revenge and taking care of Dukat, but that would mean losing favor with the Founder for assault against their ally.
Kilana scoffed and reached up behind her to unclasp it, removing the jewelry from around her soft neck, placing it on the table in front of them. "Weyoun, what am I to do now? It's obvious he has his eyes on me since he won't get anything from Major Kira, like I warned you."
He would NOT let her think like that. Weyoun silenced her, bringing his finger up to her lips. She stopped speaking altogether and looked up at him curiously. It gave him great happiness to make her feel safe; she was two lifetimes younger than him, still practically reaching primetime, but it was like she was a naturally young one with her timid grace. And that was why he adored her as more than just a friend, even if the Founder knew and didn't approve of her favorite Vorta with another on her bad list. It frightened him partially because being in her graces meant everything as much as it did to Kilana despite her numerous tries and falls.
But even if she meant nothing to the Female Founder, she meant everything to Weyoun.
And that gave him more fire to protect her from the Cardassian lizard that was Dukat.
"Would you let me hold you now, dearest?" he asked softly, reaching for her now, his hand brushing against her cheek before cupping it and turning her face back to him.
But her eyes were so full of sadness and uncertainty. "Why, Weyoun?"
"Why what?"
"Why are you still so good to me even after what happened on Torga IV?"
He hadn't been there when she tried to save the Founder and failed, her Jem'Hadar except her First taking their lives in their devastation. He hated seeing her like this. "You shouldn't ask such things of me, Kilana. I've told you before that you are still worthy enough. I know I promised you would be recognized in time, and since it hasn't, that has not diminished my pride in you. You are still here because of me."
"I've brought nothing but trouble and disgrace. I'm a waste of time; I should be terminated permanently..."
He couldn't believe she was saying these things she shouldn't. Weyoun seized her face in both of his hands and brought it closer to his, their noses barely touching. "Kilana, listen to me, your ambassador and the one who prizes you more than anyone else would," he said passionately, the emotion surging through his veins the deeper he looked into her blazing violet eyes mirroring his, "you are not a waste of time. The Founders judge you as they see fit, but we are powerless to stop that. You and I serve the Founders in all things. We must worship them as we are made to do, never say otherwise, but that does not mean you cannot embrace who you are. Never degrade yourself, and stop blaming yourself for what happened with the Founder on Torga IV, and your Jem'Hadar. You tried the best you could. We all are not perfect."
When I'm less than I should be
When I can't face the day
When darkness falls around me
And I just can't find my way
She had always been lost on her way to fight for the top as the rest of their people would, as he had done so himself until he got to where he was now, and no matter what, nothing changed what they were inside. Weyoun searched the young female's eyes further, seeing them downcast and clouded with fighting her emotions and heeding the wisdom of his words.
When my eyes don't clearly see
And I stumble through it all
You I lean upon
You keep me strong
And you rise me when I fall
To his surprise, Kilana was leaning into his touch briefly before she snapped it away. Was this a sign he thought it was? Before he could dwell, she said hastily, "I'm sorry, Weyoun. I have to get ready for bed, but would you do the honors of making dinner?" Ever since the arrival and retaking, the replicators had been fixed into including Vorta cuisine for the two of them, but who knew if any more of their people would come aboard - if Dukat allowed it. Cardassians loved control and order, and the Gul and his precious Glinn were fond of mocking both of them. If Damar wanted to toss Weyoun out so badly, then he would love to do so to both him and his master.
Perhaps he would settle on a q'lava and rippleberry salad for the two of them. He had it finished by the time she returned, her hair still moist from the sonic shower, the dress she now wore baring her shoulders and slimming her body. But did the color sand honestly befit her? It didn't matter; she abandoned standard fare just for the privacy of their sanctuary.
"Thank you for being here tonight," she said softly as she sat down at the table with him. "I wish I had the strength to fight off Dukat if he tried anything."
"Oh, please, no more of him tonight. Let's just eat and worry about tomorrow by then." So they did, and now he was leaving to return to his quarters, but just as he was leaving, he felt Kilana's hand take his once more, turning him back around to look at her in the eyes again. She was silently thanking him once more when she didn't have to.
You are there when I most need you
You are there so constantly
You come shining through; you always do
You are always there for me
Her face was leaning upwards - was his, too? - and he could smell her skin, spice and woods radiating off and filling his nostrils. "Mmm..." An incoherent phrase in their native language escaped his lips in spite of himself as he felt his lips nearly touch hers -
"You should go, now, before something happens."
~o~
She did not see Dukat - yet - though as she walked the Promenade while smiling at passerbys, she sensed their auras off of them, and it was fear and hatred, but what could they do if they wanted the Jem'Hadar to shoot at them, or be arrested for protest, like that Bajoran Vedek who hung herself for all to see after her memorable display? Kilana had seen it all along with the others on the Promenade; she could never forget the horror on the faces of Kira Nerys, Constable Odo whom she had been in the presence of numerous times and felt in awe of more than Weyoun but couldn't bring herself to talk to him, as well as the naïve Jake Sisko who wanted to do the story about the protest against the Dominion and Cardassia.
She remembered his father too well, but his son was too soft and trustworthy - and that was a dangerous accessibility...but she also saw this to her advantage. Jake was a young man, and youth had its vulnerable spots; one of them was his passion for stories. He still wanted that interview with Weyoun, and she wouldn't be surprised. She knew how much Weyoun wanted the boy to write a more "balanced" perspective of their life, but Jake wasn't going to change his mind unless something else drove him.
Kilana wasn't planning on telling Weyoun any of this. She had her own methods in mind, then surprise him with the results later and make him proud.
"Jake Sisko," she called to him casually, sweetly, stopping and her Jem'Hadar behind her when the young man paused in walking and writing on his PADD at the same time. He stared at her, jaw slightly dropped, and said nothing. "Kilana. I don't suppose your father ever told you about me."
Recognition flashed across his face, and now he was grinning. "Yeah, the Vorta he got that ship from - but your men as well as that Changeling," he said, face falling as she felt hers, too, when the unwanted memories flashed before her eyes again. Jake noticed this and quickly apologized. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up."
Kilana started. "Oh, not at all! We Vorta are used to having the memories reopened. Just like I remember dealing with your father." She smiled graciously. "I haven't had the chance to meet Captain Sisko's son, the reporter. The one Weyoun speaks so highly of." It was then that the boy's face contorted, and she realized she'd hit the jackpot - or should she say, dabo, which Weyoun had gotten her to play her luck once and win? She smirked to herself when she remembered leaning in and distracting the male opponents into losing the game.
However, as she looked at Jake, she saw a young man who was passionate and eager to please, but also independent, much like herself. In her mind, she wondered if she should be doing this after all - until she remembered that she was doing this for Weyoun, for the Dominion and their allies. No one badmouthed them. She had to go through with this.
"You call speaking about me like that being a friend? He said we would be when we first met, but he blocks my stories to keep people from reading. Not that I blame him, but I stayed to report on all of this," he insisted when they began walking again. "I didn't mean to...bias as he said, but -"
He was bordering on complaining that Kilana didn't want to hear it anymore. She stopped him. "Oh, alright, and yes, I know you didn't mean to, and he'll come around to eventually do that interview you want. If you want to, I can speak to him for you, Jake," she told him sweetly. "And if you want anyone to talk to, you can always see me. You might find me more trusting than Weyoun."
"Oh, really? How?"
"Surely you must know that our people are known to develop expectations and entrustment for our newfound friends and alliances, by any means. However, sometimes, the other side carries little weight with our words, much like your father last year. I'm not good with negotiations like Weyoun, but I was sincere on every level that your father failed to see until it was too late for both of our men, and the Founder whom I tried to save. Which is what the Female Changeling still holds me for and I've learned to live with." She ceased their walk and found one of the Promenade's benches, taking her seat and no longer holding onto the thread that was her plan in motion, just allowing herself to be observed by Jake and the two Jem'Hadar who exchanged a look with each other but said nothing. Kilana waved them off to give them distance so Jake could sit beside her. Some people were watching them and whispered to each other. That would warrant a conversation about the captain's son that would last a good while.
"Hey," Jake said softly, "you shouldn't beat yourself up over something that was beyond your hands."
She shook her head and held up a hand. Why was she even telling him this, something he wouldn't understand unlike Weyoun? "Jake, you wouldn't understand. I asked this of your father: do you have gods, something to believe in? Do you know what it's like to fail to save a life?"
Jake didn't answer her; good, because she no longer felt in the mood. All she wanted now was to be left alone, try again later. There was always another time, but Jake wouldn't back off. "Look, I'm sorry, alright? I experienced a few situations, and one time I remember well that I hate myself for. A bomb going off in the field, killing so many that I was scared to run away, and one man was still alive that I wanted to take back to camp, but it was too late. I was a coward; he said that bringing him back would not change anything. I don't tell everyone this, Kilana, but I know what it's like to fail to save a life. The answer is yes, even if it's not the same as yours."
To learn he had actually witnessed more than she thought made it more difficult. He'd gone through as much as she had, been outside this station, was inexperienced with wartime yet retained his identity, and he was still ethical and depending. He depended as much as she did on Weyoun. They had more in common than she anticipated, but that left out one major question. "You never answered me about gods and beliefs."
He laughed. "I believe in that stuff sometimes, but anything is possible. Although, gods don't live amongst us mortals; they live high in the heavens, just watching over us. We never see them in person until our time comes to die."
Kilana stiffened; there was no mistaking what he was implying, and it made her feel a little angry. "The Founders are gods, Jake," she said softly, angrily, turning her attention to him, "and my people were created by them."
He returned the look reproachfully. "Yeah, how? Enlighten me with the story of creation," he challenged.
So, perhaps he wasn't wholly sweet as he appeared. Kilana smiled ruefully. "Perhaps we should take our discussion to someplace more...private. Like my quarters. We'll be all alone and indulging in more of our stories there, get to know each other a little better. Would you like that, Mr. Sisko?"
~o~
Weyoun surveyed the scene from one of the doorway corners turning into the corridor where Kilana's quarters were located, and he was surprised to see that she was not returning to her rooms alone. He had been keeping a close eye on her as he promised, so no Dukat on her tail yet, but this face which accompanied her -
Jake Sisko.
And Kilana was smiling at him, being the gracious hostess and allowing him inside first, then told her Jem'Hadar to wait outside and stand guard. Weyoun wished he could get closer to listen through the door and hear what Kilana and the young Mr. Sisko would be talking about.
~o~
The last time Jake was with an older woman of another species alone in her quarters, it was a sort of vampire-like creature who sucked out his energy to give him his "fame" as a young writer as soon as he was gone. But the Vorta wouldn't do something like that, yet Jake would always be on his guard. Odo and Kira asked him to watch out for Weyoun, but especially the other Vorta...Kilana.
He remembered her from what his father spoke about her. The Vorta who surrounded him and the team with her Jem'Hadar, tried to acquire a dying Changeling from them but refused to trust Benjamin Sisko - at the cost of both her men and his. Jake could never forget the defeat in his father's eyes as he spoke of how the inexperienced but otherwise deceitful Vorta woman had removed some of the remains of a being she considered a god - which Jake had trouble understanding, but understood she suffered inside as much as his father did - to honor him. It made him wonder if she still kept them to remember him by, for herself.
"Jake, would you like something to eat or drink?" Kilana asked, pulling him out of his thoughts. "I could offer you something the Vorta eat naturally, or something from the replicator?"
"Oh, uh, I'd like a root beer from the replicator, but since the system was destroyed when my father and the others left, I don't know what you have that you can enjoy with me," he answered, leaning back. Kilana regarded him with a twitching brow before deciding on Vorta appetizers and returning with a dish of berries and fruits. "What are those?"
"Rippleberries and q'lavas. Amongst what us Vorta can actually taste. Along with kava nuts. The Founders made us to be so because of our ancestry. Which I have yet to tell you, Jake." Her eyes - lavender and glimmering as though full of water - glittered delightfully that Jake thought he was going to drown in them...how could the Vorta be so...?
"The Vorta weren't always dominated by the Founders. Long ago, thousands of years prior, we were very much like little apes: living in the trees and feasting on nuts and berries - and targeted by many predators out there night and day. Until when a Changeling stumbled our paths one day, because a group of solids were chasing him and doing him harm. A family of Vorta took him in, saved his life, and because of their good treatment, he gave them a promise to one day make them better than they were now."
Jake had been so engrossed that he almost lost track because of that voice of hers - so melodic, revering and awe-struck - before he caught on in time. A millennia ago, the Vorta were little forest creatures until a vulnerable shape-shifter like Odo - but NOT Odo himself - evolved their lives. He wasn't sure if he should believe the story or not, though, as wonderful as it was, like a fairytale. What if it was simply a story the Vorta were told just to ensure their loyalty to Odo's people? Odo was the only good one he knew, but never met any more shape-shifters. "That's all really good," he said before daring, "but do you really believe that story?"
Kilana's posture stiffened, and she reeled back. "Of course, Jake! Why would I not? How can you be a god if no one worships you?"
"Because I told you, gods don't walk amongst mortals on earth. They live high in the heavens to watch over, never bothering to visit in person, and most of all, they never treat their followers with cruelty by manipulating their genes and lives. I have enough experience in engineering, but controlling an entire race genetically is another matter," Jake said passionately, popping a rippleberry into his mouth and finding how splashing cool and sweet it was, like a raspberry. "Do your people ever have the free will to do anything that doesn't involve the Changelings?"
The Vorta let out a disgusted sound and slid away from him, placing the dish on the glass table. "I was right about your father raising you to be this way. Captain Sisko was direct and bold, but it appears his son is no better than he is. I saw you because you seemed like you would actually care about me and Weyoun, that you're a forgiving spirit and reminded me so much of myself. You've seen more than you did at your young age, but you're strong and proud. You're praised by your elders unlike..." She stopped there, and Jake knew she wasn't hard as a rock inside as she looked like she was. Unlike Weyoun.
"Unlike who? The Female Changeling you spoke of?" He wouldn't be surprised if they singled her out because of what happened on Torga IV - and that also made him feel sorry for her. Just like he felt sorry for all of the Vorta. Everything made sense that they had no free will, that they were slaves. "Is it because of what happened between you and my dad? Because that's a terrible thing to live with."
She turned her face from him. "It's not that simple, Jake. We are Vorta; we are made to serve the Founders in all things, accept whatever failure comes to us. I deserve this."
Jake hated the fact that she was beating herself up, this amazing looking being with her drop dead gorgeous body, her intelligent eyes and timid but otherwise sincere manner, her glowing pale skin and exotic ears, the shoulder-length dark hair with the top part carried down from her supposed ape-like ancestry...the dark-colored, full lips...
He shook his head. His brain was warning him that he was taking this too far. Warning him that she might be manipulating because that was what the Vorta did, according to Odo and the major. Weyoun had played the game of friendship and backstabbed him in the end, so Kilana had to be playing her own game of sympathy with him by sharing her people's origins and talking of her past - but before he was aware, his body had moved of its own volition to sit closer to her, and she looked up, startled. "Jake!"
"Stop beating yourself up, Kilana. You said you wanted a friend, and here I am. Weyoun is obviously the only one you have, but then you came to me. One friend isn't enough, am I right?"
He had Nog as his only friend, and he was perfectly fine with it, but there was also Chief O'Brien who had mentored him for some time, as well as Dax. Now he had Odo, Kira, Quark and his brother Rom when everyone else was gone. Who knew when they would be back; he would not stand down and let the Dominion and Cardassia win. The fighting was far from over.
"There's also my Jem'Hadar first-in-command, Dira'tarak. He's a strong shell, but he entrusts me more than his own men. I'm grateful for his unwavering loyalty...and friendship. You were close; I had two, until you," she told him with an easy smile. "You don't approve of my beliefs, but that's not changing anything. Dukat and Damar are always making it the butt of their jokes towards Weyoun." She burst out laughing, and he joined her. "But Weyoun knows how to shoot them both down, except Dukat with that inflated ego of his always comes back up."
She took him by surprise altogether by leaning in and placing her lips on top of his.
I don't know how many of you know this, but in the short "Inferno" from the book Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Millennium, it tells that Kilana and Weyoun Two had been in a relationship, which makes me wonder if Vanillasiren knew about this, though I have yet to ask her myself.
And yes, Kilana sort of is manipulating Jake for Weyoun, but at the same time, she DOES consider Jake a possible new friend, similar to what she did with Major Kira in "Wrong". It's hard for me to do this with her since she's doubting herself a little; she's just so vulnerable underneath the surface.
