The fact that I was hiding underneath my vanity in my dressing room should've been enough of a clue to everyone else, that I was completely terrified. Opening night, nine months of production, practice, and work and I knew that that would all go down the drain because my stage fright was choosing now to rear it's ugly head and frighten my courage away. I'd been mentally preparing myself for this for months now-little good it had done me. The play would be a disaster now-all thanks to me.
Why does the universe hate me so? What did I ever do to deserve such a crippling fear? Oh, right… Let's not get on that topic now.
"Cerise, I know you're in their! Open the door! It's almost time to open curtain!"
Drats, they've found me. A locked door will do little to help me now that they've found my location. Well, I wasn't exactly being inconspicuous in the first place, but it doesn't really matter now. What am I supposed to do now, journal?
"Cerise please-Oh, ."
Yikes!
I squeaked, shoving my journal closed, ready to hightail it out the window. "Cerise, I'm going to give you five seconds to open this door before I break it down," Genesis sang. I scrambled up from under the vanity and towards the window, attempting to pry it open. There was a loud bang behind me, and the sound of the door breaking down.
"Caught ya!" Genesis said, grabbing hold of my shoulder before I could bolt. I whined in annoyance, struggling in his hold.
"Gen, come on! Don't make me!" I cried, pouting.
"I've been waiting nearly a year for this show to start. I will not let you ruin it by running out on it. Besides, the President is in that crowd and he'll be very upset if he hears the show had to be cancelled because you refused to go on stage," he growled. I whimpered, reaching towards the window helplessly.
"Can't-afraid." I muttered.
"What are you more afraid of?" He whispered menacingly. "The stage or what I'll do to you if you don't go out on that stage?" The fight suddenly fled from my body at the prospect of what Genesis might-no, would do if I didn't go on that stage. He let go of me, satisfied I wouldn't run and I turned to face him.
"Fine," I grumbled and looked to Lorelei and nodded. "alright, I'm ready to suit up." I said, voice still trembling with fear, but this time not with fear of the stage. Lorelei nodded and looked at Genesis.
"Please leave, I need to get her ready." She said politely. He nodded, sending me a final death glare and then left. She closed the door and turned to the hanger behind it, pulling the costume off of the hanger. As the goddess, I didn't have too many parts, and I never changed costumes luckily. It was two different colors of pink, the top being a darker pink, and the skirt being a light pink. My midriff was shown, and I was glad all those years of training had kept me physically fit. There was gold and purples and blues as well, and the costume was actually pretty intricate. However it still managed to be light and easy to move around only thing that made it really difficult were the unattached sleeves that were long and hung down. My makeup and hair were already done so I didn't have to worry about that.
"Cerise, you ready?" The director asked, knocking on the door lightly. I nodded at Lorelei and walked to the door, opening it.
"Yep," I said. I gave Lorelei a final thumbs up and then left to take my place. I climbed two sets of stairs to get to the rafters, where I would be lowered by literal two wires attached to my back. The crew attached them and I took my waiting position. The lights dimmed as the curtains opened, the beginning fighting starting. A little girl, named Mariah, walked out onto the stage, all fighting moving around her. She stood lower left, spotlight falling on her.
"Mama used to tell me stories of a time, long before I was alive, of a terrible war. She said that this war was between two forces; those of the light, and those born of the dark. Both wanted control over the land, but in the end, both sides ended up destroying it. And so, there was nothing left for either side. However, when the beautiful goddess of the land saw the destruction and pain, she descended from the skies."
That was my cue. Lights flared around me as I was lowered slowly over the stage. The warriors, who were previously fighting, now all had their swords on the ground, most looking sickly or defeated, some even weeping. My feet touched the ground and I practically glided over the top of it with the help of the cords.
"She saw how her world had been destroyed by the greed and selfishness of mankind. But instead of being angry, she decided to give them another chance," I approached the fallen warriors, one by one, lightly tapping their shoulders. Each one rose, watching me in amazement. I danced through all of them and and then stood at the back of the stage, the cords lifting me up a few feet in the air.
"You have destroyed my world with hate and greed. The beautiful land that I cultivated, are now nothing but a bloody, broken battlefield. But, it does not have to end this way. I will give you one more chance. I will recreate this land, in hopes of a peaceful future. However, if your kind ever sheds the blood of innocents on this land again, the land will return to it's barren state, and all shall perish. Do you agree to my gift?" I questioned loudly, voice regal and smooth. I was lowered to the ground once more and I stood, waiting for their response. One by one, each warrior lowered their heads and got down on one knee.
The music started up and I danced around the stage, starting to sing.
En dashe bu nobe shundu tie shutwu kewanu swa lei~
"One by one, every warrior who had fought in the war disappeared and returned to the earth they had destroyed. And the land, was healed. Mama says she was just a girl when that happened, but she still remembers how the beautiful goddess had healed the world right before her eyes. And then, she returned to the heavens once more, never to be seen from again. But that to this day, her gift still lives on," I closed my eyes and lowered my head, being pulled back up into the rafters.
The story then goes on. My only other appearance is at the end of the play, when I face the prisoner. In the rest of the story, it tells of how through the years that have gone by, their has always been peace in the land. Until, the 'prisoner', burdened by jealousy and greed, kills his childhood friend. A war between two different groups of people begins, and before everyone's eyes, the wrath of the goddess is invoked, the gift taken and the lands once again barren and destroyed.
The prisoner, realizing it was his jealousy and greed that lead to the war and destruction of the land, goes on a quest to find the goddess and plead for her to heal the planet once more. Along the way, he meets the wanderer, a middle-aged man who had seen the destruction the first war bought and had spent the rest of his life seeking out the beautiful goddess who gifted them the planet in order to thank her. He joins the prisoner on his travels, and then they also gain the companion, the 'hero'. The hero is a soldier of war, who at first hates the goddess for taking away her gift, but later on learns that the people deserved it for their violence and bloodshed. Along the way, each man suffers many trials. The wanderer, becoming discouraged in his quest for the goddess, leaves his comrades and is never heard from again. The prisoner is gravely injured in a battlefield crossfire, and saved by a kind woman.
She nurses him back to health and eventually the two fall in love. However, he is haunted by his old quest, and the knowledge that he did not wish for his love to live in the deadlands anymore. He promised her that he would continue his journey to find the goddess and her gift, and heal the land for her. He swore to her that he would return afterwards, no matter what the costs.
And so, he continued on. But along the way, he is attacked by a demon, who wishes to stop the land from ever healing. It is then he reunites with his old friend, the hero. The hero gives his life to protect the prisoner, but before death gives him the whereabouts of the goddess. Swearing to his dying friend he would not fail, the prisoner continued.
And then, the finals scenes occur. The lights on the stage darken and I hurry out, standing behind a waterfall prop. The lights turn back on the prisoner finds the waterfall, which is said to be the only place on the planet to still be alive. There, he knelt before the waterfall.
"Please, goddess of this land, I beg of you to heal this world. I am nothing but a sinful man who started this pain. I have travelled many miles and for very long in search of you. Please, give birth to this planet once more," He cried. I waited several moments before appearing out of the waterfall prop, wading through water until I reached the end of the pool of water in front of him.
"You and your people do not deserve my gift. You cause pain and destruction wherever you wake, why should I offer you my gift a second time?" I asked, voice loud and unforgiving. He looked up from his position at my feet, meeting my eyes.
"I have no reason, other than this is my fault. I was a greedy, selfish, and foolish boy who caused bloodshed with no purpose. I started this, and I beg for your forgiveness. We are not all bad." He pleaded. I narrowed my eyes.
"Oh? How can you be so sure?" I asked.
"I know a man, he was a boy when the first war caused the end of the world. He saw you heal the planet, and he's searched his entire life looking for you. His only wish was to thank you." He said. I waved a hand and the images of the wanderer drinking in a pub showed like a television picture in the waterfall.
"This man? He gave up his search for me years ago. He is nothing but a drunk wallowing in his ale." I said calmly.
"I know of a hero. He saved me from a demon, losing his own life in the process," He continued. I waved my hand once more and a picture of his fallen friend appeared.
"This man? He fought in the war, shed many innocents blood. He hated me for many years, because I took a gift that I should never have given. Where is his righteousness?" I asked.
"A woman! I was dying, and she saved my life! She ran onto a bloodied battlefield, risking her own life in the process, just to drag a half-dead man back to her home and save his life. She is the purest creature on this planet, that I know." He insisted. I waved a hand and the image of the woman with another man appeared in the waterfall.
"This woman? Why, she lies with another man right now. Where is her purity?" I asked. He stared at the image helplessly, before shaking his head.
"No! I know her, she would never do such a thing!" He insisted.
"How do you know? Why would she be any different than the rest of these people, who sin and insult and destroy? how do you know she is as pure as you claim?" I asked.
"Because I have felt her love!" he shouted, meeting my eyes with a fiery passion. "A love that strong cannot be anything but pure. I would do anything for her-"
"Even give up the life of the planet?" I asked, interrupting him coldly. He stopped talking, seeing I had caught him in a trap.
"I-" He started, but could not finish.
"You travelled far and wide to ask for my assistance, to return the gift I bestowed upon this planet in hopes your people would learn the errors of their way. Would you give it up, the life of the planet, if I told you that I would require her soul to heal it? Could you give the soul of your lover to heal the planet?" I asked. He remained quiet. I waded closer to him. "You cannot? Peace, happiness, life; they all cost more than any war could pay. You ask for my gift and yet, you are not willing to give up the one thing you cherish most."
"My life!" He shouted out suddenly, catching the goddess' attention. He stood up, grabbing hold of my shoulders tightly and meeting my gaze. "You're right, I cannot give her life for the planets. She deserves to see the beauty of this planet once more. But, I will give you my life. I will give you my soul to heal the planet, in place of hers." He promised. My hardened gaze softened and I smiled softly at the man.
"Your love for her is pure." I stated and moved away from him, looking back at the waterfall and away from the crowd. I stared up at the sky. "That is the gift of the goddess. The love of those warriors, for their families, and the wish to atone for their sins. That healed this planet. These spirits, souls once ravaged by war, had turned into peaceful spirits of the land. You frightened them away when you shed the blood of innocents once more. But now, they are ready to return." I turned to face him once more. "Very well, we will bring life back to this planet once more. I will not interfere any longer. The fate of this planet is yours to decide upon. There will be war, destruction, bloodshed. You must continually fight against it. You and your kin, must fight to protect this planet and the innocent." I returned to my pedestal within the waterfall.
"Thank you, goddess. I promise, I will protect this world." He turned to leave the stage.
"Prisoner," I called, and he stopped.
"Yes?" he asked, confusion across his features.
"You are free. Return to your sweetheart." I said. He smiled and nodded, waving goodbye. I stood on my pedestal, and began to sing.
The lights dimmed on me as we see the prisoner returning to his sweetheart, who cries and rushes into his arms. I continued to sing through the happy reunion. Soon, the wanderer joined them as well, the prisoner hugging his old friend. Then, they watched together as the land around them healed. At the end of the song I returned to behind the waterfall and all of the lights on the stage darkened. The crowd erupted into cheers, jumping to their feet. The lights turned back on, and the ensemble appeared first, grabbing hands and bowing. Then it was the demon, and then the little girl. Then it was the prisoners sweetheart, and then me. I climbed down from the waterfall and appeared center stage, giving a small curtsey. I took my side by the rest of the cast, the wanderer, hero, and prisoner, taking center stage and bowing. Then we all did a group bow and the curtain was drawn. I was immediately engulfed in a group hug.
"We did it!" Lorelei, who played a bar girl in the ensemble, squealed happily. I laughed, hugging with the others. We all hugged and chatted happily for a few more minutes, until unfortunately, our parade was ended.
"Kiddos, great job!" Markus cheered, but his smile was elastic. Everyone else thanked and applauded him as well, but I was frozen. That look said nothing good.
"What's wrong?" I spoke up and his eyes met mine. He sighed.
"Nothing gets past you, does it Cerise?" He asked. Slowly, I shook my head. The others were quiet now, curious as well. "The President...didn't like our show." He said hesitantly. There were shouts of outrage throughout the entire cast, some curses and insults thrown Shinra's way, but mostly sadness.
"Why? We were perfect!" Sally, the girl from the beginning, cried.
"It's very complicated-" Markus started but I cut him off.
"Propaganda." I spoke up, and Markus gave me a look stating that I was spot on. "LOVELESS centers on war and how it's wrong. Shinra has taken this as a personal offense, and as propaganda against the war with Wutai. Our show, though had nothing to do with any political matters, does center on a touchy topic currently. People could take it the wrong way, see it as a rebellion against Shinra. So, we're being shut down," I said, feeling disgusted with Shinra.
"But that isn't fair!"
"LOVELESS is a popular poem!"
"We should revolt!" Markus winced and shook his head.
"I'm sorry kiddos. We're done. If it weren't for Cerise, we might've been seen as traitors of war and imprisoned. We'll have to leave it be." He said solemnly. I clenched my fists. True, I'd been terrified to go out there today, but when I was out there it was fun and I enjoyed it. I spent nine months working on this, we all did, and I would be damned if I let this go that easily.
"I'll talk to the President!" I spoke up, silencing the others protests. "Maybe he'll listen to me." I said.
"Cerise," Markus sighed, and I glared at him.
"I have to try," I insisted. "We all worked too hard on this to just give up." I said. They all nodded in agreement and I hurried back to my dressing room, changing out of my costume and pulling on a dark blue dress and pumps to match. I walked out, The president and Rufus, with Cissnei, Tseng, and Veld, waiting out of the doors patiently. Markus wasn't kidding-the president did not look happy. Rufus stepped forward, giving me one of his rare smiles and handing me a bouquet of roses.
"Wonderful performance, Cerise." He said and Shinra 'humphed'. He glared icily at me.
"When we get back, we're going to have a conversation," he said in what I supposed was a menacing tone. I nodded, admittedly a bit frightened by the angry glare in his eye. Cissnei and Tseng travelled back with me in a separate car, because apparently Shinra didn't want to sit in the same car as me.
"Was it really that bad?" I joked, trying to lighten the tension in the air.
"This is serious, Cerise." Cissnei said quietly, expression solemn. I sighed.
"Is that why Rufus actually smiled at me?" I asked flatly and the two of them gave me a warning glare. I rolled my eyes. "We all know that if I thought this would be seen as some political stunt I would've said something," I insisted.
"Tell the president that," Tseng said quietly. I got his point; okay, this was going to be a fun chat. We arrived back at HQ and I was immediately escorted up to Shinra's office. The second the door closed behind me, Shinra started his rather frightening lecture. I allowed him to rant at me for a good ten minutes before piping up.
"Please sir, no one meant any harm," I said calmly and he glared at me.
"Harm? I could have a revolt on my hands, all because of your stupid play!" He growled. I winced.
"Sir, LOVELESS is a very popular poem, it's been performed on stage many times. Despite it being up for interpretation, it's always centered around war and-"
"I don't give a damn about the stupid poem. This play is over," He said vehemently. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll shut your mouth." He growled.
"No, please, we worked so hard-" I yelped as the back of his hand collided with my cheek and sent me sprawling to the ground. For such a fat old man, he had a powerful swing.
"Veld, teach this foolish girl her place. When you think she's learned her lesson, send Cissnei to help her back to her room." The president said coldly. I closed my eyes, enduring every blow dealt without a peep. Soon into it, the president left, and Veld continued kicking me, stopping only after the first noise of pain I made let loose. I sat up, pushing back my tears and clutching my aching body.
"You're too stubborn for your own good, Cerise." He warned with a sigh.
"My soul, corrupted by vengeance, hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey. In my own salvation, and your eternal slumber," I whispered.
"Come on, Cerise. Let's get you to bed," I hadn't even realized Cissnei had arrived yet, but here she was, helping me to my feet. I whimpered as she touched one of the many forming bruises. She mumbled a short apology, supporting me as we walked down the hallways. Now normally I could take a hit, but being repeatedly kicked in the stomach, legs, arms, back, and pretty much everywhere a couple dozen times tended to be a bit much for me.
"What happened to her?" A dark voice growled and I looked up, eyes meeting Sephiroth's in astonishment. That was Sephiroth? He looked so...dark, angry. His eyes were narrowed slits, his entire body tensed ready to fight, and his voice-I didn't even recognize it. He was terrifying and in a completely different way to normal. I've always known Sephiroth was dangerous, but I never believed he would hurt me. Though his rage currently wasn't directed at me, I felt he could set all of Midgar on fire just with his eyes.
He didn't wait for Cissnei to respond. He took me from her arms, lifting me up and glaring at her. "General," She started.
"I will take Cerise back to her room." He said coldly, then turned his back to her without waiting for a response. He turned down several familiar hallways until finally stopping at my door. I didn't need to hand him my key card, he already had one just in case. He pushed the door open with one arm and then slammed it closed behind us. He set me down on the couch lightly, brushing stray light curls from my eyes. "What happened?" He asked, tone kinder but still masking his anger.
"Shinra," I said and winced at the pain it brought to speak. He didn't need anything else. Though this was the first time something like this had ever happened, we both knew Shinra well enough to know it would've happened sooner or later. He nodded and pulled a heal materia out of his coat pocket. He readied to use it but I stopped him. I weakly grabbed hold of the materia and closed my eyes, laying my head back and focusing. I felt the orb become liquid and barely heard Sephiroth's sound of surprise as the liquid seeped into my skin, crawling through my veins and found the injuries, healing them all easily. I groaned, clutching at my head. Though my injuries were gone, it took energy to do such a thing.
"Lifestream," I grumbled and he was up and in the kitchen in a moment, returning with my water bottle. I chugged half of the bottle, the pressure in my head lifting almost instantly.
"What was that you just did?" He asked after I finished up. I closed the water bottle and set it on the coffee table, sitting up to face him.
"What is done can always be undone. Lifestream is still lifestream, in whatever form." I said with a shrug.
"But..it absorbed into your body," He pointed out, sounding deep in thought. I smiled lightly.
"It does with everyone," I reminded him, but I understood what he meant. "I don't know why it did that, or why materia works better in it's natural form on me. It just does," I said. He was silent, regarding me carefully and I knew he was still angry from earlier.
"I'll kill him," It wasn't a threat, but an offer. Despite his anger, Sephiroth was not a reckless man. He knew the consequences of his actions. It was also much more touching to know that despite the consequences, he'd still offer to kill Shinra for me.
"That won't be necessary," I said calmly. "You're my protector, not my personal assassin," I continued.
"Yes. Your protector," He echoed.
"Besides, I can handle Shinra." I said with a scoff. I looked up at him and saw that despite my reassurances, he still looked worried. My face softened and I placed a hand on his cheek, capturing his attention once more. "I'm fine." I said softly. Something unrecognizable flashed through his eyes and I swear it felt like he leaned into my touch. Something warm fluttered in my stomach and I pulled away abruptly, wanting the feeling to cease. I was blushing, why was I blushing?
"I have to return to training now. Will you be alright?" He asked and I nodded.
"I'm just going to go to bed. It's kind of been a long day," I said with a humorless laugh. He didn't laugh with me. I started towards my bedroom door.
"Cerise," He rumbled and I stopped, looking back at him. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked and I nodded, sending him a small, tired smile. He nodded back and then turned, walking through the door and leaving me alone. I hurried into my room, closing the door behind me and jumping onto the bed, huddling into my pillows.
"Goddess, save me," I whispered.
Okay, so sorry that took forever. I've been putting off updating for the sole purpose that I wanted to get ahead in my writing before I updated. No worries, this story is not forgotten, it is just very difficult to write sometimes. I'm working on it though.
If you guys liked this chapter please consider following and reviewing. It's not a must, but it does help me write and feel like it's worth writing! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed!
