Keeping Katie Ch 29
The silence continued the next morning. Karen was a robot, neither making noise or making expressions. Don knew it was grief and could turn into a serious depression if it went on too long. BB and Laslo were relieved to go to school and Don wanted to stay home but he couldn't. He kissed Karen and walked out the door.
That set the pattern for the next few days. Don spent the day trying to work at the office and every spare minute trying to pin down Mr. Jones background. John went out of town for a few days and then Charlene got anxious. Finally, at his wits end, he consulted Huang. "Thank you for coming, Dr." Don said closing the door behind the man.
"I guess things are pretty bad at home, yet?" Huang greeted him.
"Pretty bad is a good description. I can't get past this silence. It's like living with a robot. She all locked up inside herself. I can't get to her. She won't scream, or cry, or throw things, hell, she barely talks and doesn't eat much at all. The kids don't want to come home, they go right to their rooms after dinner. It all revolves around her and I can't reach her."
"Have you taken her to see a therapist?"
"No, I figured she'd snap out of it on her own. It just seems to get deeper. I'm afraid if I take her to an outside doctor it will go on her permanent record and she'll have BB and Laslo taken from her and she won't have them anymore. Is there anything you can do?"
"I can go out and talk to her. I'm not sure what else I can do for her. I don't feel comfortable prescribing drugs for her."
"Just go see her if you can and tell me how to help her. I've done everything I can and I just can't get through to her."
"I'll go this afternoon."
"Thank you." Don said with a sigh of relief.
Dr. George Huang drove up to the home he'd been to only once before on a happy occasion. This time there was no joy. Charlene opened the door and invited him in. Karen was sitting at the kitchen table. She was just sitting. She looked up at him and he was shocked by her appearance. Her hair had been shiny and bouncy, now it was limp and hanging down, her clothes were hastily put on without any particular care and she just looked at him. "Hi, Karen. How are you doing?"
She wet her lips then spoke hesitantly. "I've been expecting you."
"You have?"
"Don has good friends. I figured he'd talk to you sooner or later."
"He's worried about you." Karen turned her face away from him. She didn't answer him. "Have you talked to Katie since she went away?"
"You mean since they took her to live with her grandparents?" she said sharply. "Don't treat me like an idiot. I know what happened, don't try to pussy foot around it."
"I'm sorry. The captain is disturbed that you won't talk."
"There's nothing to say. Katies gone and I have nothing to say. People don't always have to talk."
"That's true. Are you afraid?" George asked.
"Of what?! That they'll take Katie away? Guess what? They already have."
"And you're angry about it."
"Hello. You went for years to medical school to figure that out?"
"You are allowed to be angry and sad and miss her."
"Are you patronizing me?"
"Yes. You know it's not good to keep everything bottled up inside you. It can cause depression. Are you depressed?"
"Yes."
"Do you want me to prescribe something that will help you?"
"No. I won't take pills."
"Then you need to open up and talk to someone. Talk to Don or Charlene or a professional. It's not good to keep all this anger locked away inside you. Like it or not you are the center of alot of peoples activities. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you."
"My daughter is gone, for all intents and purposes she's dead to me. Why should I even care? What's it going to change? Who the hell cares?"
"Don does, BB, Laslo, Charlene, John, I do."
"Thanks for the pep talk. Shall I walk you out?" she said sarcastically.
"Karen, I know you're hurting. I know it seems like you'll never stop hurting and there's no sense in going on, but there are so many people who love you. It's not fair to you or to anyone else to go on like this. Talk to someone. Anyone you choose. Katie is not dead. She just lives somewhere else now but you're going to get through this. Let Don help, share your pain with him. He needs you right now. He's in pain too and he needs to share his with you. Together you can be stronger than you can apart. At least think about it."
"I can't think. I can't feel. If I do, I'll fall apart and I can't do that. I don't want to hurt any more. It's better this way."
"No, it's not. You can't go on like this. It's going to come out. Love is a part of life, and hurt is part of life too. Don't bury yourself hoping not to feel. You hurt right now, that's normal, but so does everyone around you and you're hurting yourself and them by not letting them in."
"George, I'm afraid. I don't want to feel. It's too much. It's going to destroy who I am, what I have here, I have to be strong. I'm the strong one. Every one depends on me. And that's the way I like it. That's who I am. I won't be some weakling."
"Feeling is not weak. No one expects you to be strong all the time. I know. I've seen all kinds of people, that's my job and the strongest ones are the ones who can accept help when they need it. You are one of the strongest ones."
"How do I face him? How do I apologize for...?"
"You don't have to apologize to him. He knows you're hurting. Just love him and it'll be alright."
Karen bowed her head. "Thank you for coming. You can send the bill here. I'll send you a check."
"What bill? I just came to have a talk with a friend." George said with a smile. "I'll give you a couple of names of people who you can talk to if you need to."
"Thank you. Can I walk you out?"
"I can find my way. And if you need me, just let me know."
George went back to the office. He stuck his head inside the captains office. "Your wife needs you." he said simply.
Don looked at him and jumped to his feet, grabbing his jacket as he went. "I'll be at home." he said to whoever was listening as he charged out the door.
TBC
