"So, why don't you tell me what it's like living at Shinra HQ?" I grit my teeth and smiled at the reporter. This guy was grilling me on every difficult question he had in his arsenal. It was very apparent he wanted to expose me or Shinra, or both, as liars. I mean, it was true, but I wasn't going to tell him that.
"Shinra is an incredibly compassionate and generous host. He-"
"Yes, yes, that's the same thing we hear every time. No offense dear, but it sounds rehearsed. Why not give the truth?" he persisted.
"That is the truth," I said calmly, while trying not to rip his head off. "It must seem rehearsed because I am asked the question often and my answer never changes. I speak the truth when I say Shinra is a very kind host and I'm very grateful for all he's done for me." Please stop asking, I'm getting sick of spitting out the same ridiculous lie.
"That bad?" Angeal asked as I walked out of the cafe, my polite smile immediately turning into a scowl.
"They think that if they repeat the same questions that I'll slip." I grumbled. He patted my shoulder reassuringly. "Where's Seph today?" I asked curiously, realizing that Angeal was my only escort today. Shinra only ordered that I have either two turks or one SOLDIER with me when I went out in public, but the three musketeers usually all came to get me together. Genesis was on a mission, but I had no idea where Sephiroth was.
"He got called to Junon abruptly. He left only an hour ago," He said apologetically but I waved it off.
"Not a big deal, just curious. So, I heard you're training a new third class." I said and he grinned.
"Well, it's not official yet. I still have one test for him before I recommend him moving up to third." He said and I raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? What test is that?" He smiled sheepishly at me and I scowled when I realized what he meant. "Again?" I grumbled and he laughed.
"Well I fear if he goes up against me, he won't get to really showcase his skills…"
"Because you'll beat him too quickly." I said, glowering at him. "You know, I may not be first class material, but I'm still better than a cadet-hell, I'm better than a third class. I'm at least a second class newb thank you very much." I ranted.
"Sorry, but there's another reason I want him to fight you." He stated seriously.
"Which is?" I asked, motioning for him to continue speaking.
"You fight like a girl," I started walking away from him, positively burning with anger.
"That's not how I meant it!" He called, running after me. "Sorry, it came out wrong." He looked down at me, worried I was truly angry.
"Explain," I said flatly, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Well for one thing, you're faster than most men." He pointed out. "You're not all slash the sword and block, you're evasion, agility, flexibility. The cadets have only ever gone up against each other and level one monsters. Honestly they all think it's as easy as waving a sword around." He grumbled, showing his irritation with the recruits. I grinned and rolled my eyes, punching his shoulder.
"Fine, but only your new student. I don't want Shinra finding out." I said, my mood instantly darkening at the mention of that positively vile old man. It'd been two weeks since the incident and I still wanted to break the man's spine every time I see him. Angeal and I continued to talk about simple things, until I got a stinking suspicion we were being watched. While Angeal continued to tell me about his recent mission to Kalm, I carefully watched around us. Finally, my eyes landed on two men wearing tailored suits, one with vibrant red hair, the other bald. I pretended to not have seen them, secretly pulling out the only weapon I kept on me-a small, easily concealed throwing knife. Aiming, I flicked my wrist, sending the knife rushing through the air.
"Not cool, yo!" I grabbed the training sword from Angeal's belt and darted towards the two men, grabbing the red haired one (who was now missing several strands of long hair) and pointed the sword at his throat. I smiled pleasantly at his partner.
"You mind telling me why the hell you're watching us?" I snapped.
"Hey, yo, girly we meant no harm. We're new Turks-that's Rude and I'm Reno. Our first assignment was to watch after you, make sure no harm came to ya, yo." He said. Angeal approached, standing behind me with his arms crossed.
"Well I already have a protector." I said sweetly and eyed Angeal. "I know it's against your morals and stuff to aid me in this, so can you just...look away? I need to know what these two are really up too." I said. He suddenly became very interested in the pavement and I turned back to the two of them, smiling pleasantly.
"Who sent you to watch me?" I asked and Reno looked to Rude for help. Neither of them responded and so I moved to my next plan of attack. I brought the sword back from Reno, but just as he breathed of relief I placed it against the skin of my arm. "Tell me, before things get bloody. Imagine what Shinra might do when I tell him how you two new turks attacked me." I said sweetly.
"Cerise," Angeal warned, but I ignored him.
"He wouldn't believe that-" Reno started, but I sliced a small, thin cut into my wrist and he cut off.
"You're just a couple of new recruits. Shinra has known and protected me for years. I'm like a daughter to him." Now these lies, these came easily from my lips. Shinra would take the word of Veld over mine any day, but these idiots didn't need to know that.
"What about you?" the one named Rude asked, motioning towards Angeal. "You just gonna let her do what she wants?" He asked.
"It's best to just tell her what she wants to know," He said, avoiding his question carefully. "None of us are getting out of this till you do." He warned. I made a deeper cut, wincing in pain, but refusing to give in.
"Or maybe I'll tell Sephiroth." I said darkly and the both of them froze. My smirk was positively devious. "I'm sure you've heard of the rumors, right? We've been close ever since he saved me." Now, this was a lie I wasn't comfortable telling. Not only would I never lie about something like this to Sephiroth, I also wouldn't need to. I whimpered slightly as I moved the blade from the first wound and moved to make another.
"Fine, yo!" Reno shouted, stopping me. "It was an order issued by Tseng. We don't know who ordered him, but we know it came from the labs." I froze in my spot,eyes widening in fear. Why would the labs be interested in me? The sword clattered to the ground and I turned, running from the group of men. Terror ran through my veins, and I knew I had to get away now while I still had the chance. If anyone from the labs was watching me, it wouldn't be long before they found out the truth, not when they had the turks scoping me out. I knew it was strange some unidentified Turks were watching me, especially when I already had Angeal to walk with me, but I hadn't expected…
"Cerise!" Angeal hollered after me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. Even he didn't know the truth, no one did. No one but Sephiroth. I kept running, ignoring anyone who might've spoke to me or run into me. I ran until the darkness washed over me, and I knew it was night. I shivered in the cold and took out my cell phone. I had fifteen missed calls and twenty text messages. Most of them were from Angeal, but I had two text messages from Cissnei and a missed call from Sephiroth. I dialed his number, calling him back. It went straight to voicemail.
"Hey it's Cerise. I'm sorry I missed your call." I started, unsure of what I should add next. "Um...I think the labs are spying on me. Call me back as soon as you can." I said and shut the phone, sighing.
"Excuse me, are you okay?" A sweet voice asked behind me and I jumped, letting out a gasp. I whirled around, facing a girl a couple of years younger than me. She was very pretty in a natural way, with light brown hair and green eyes. She wore a simple blue dress and smiled kindly at me. Something about her struck me as familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. To any other person, I would've faked a smile, told her I was quite alright and thanked her for her concern. However, there was something so real about her that made me want to be real in return. And so I did something I hadn't done in a while-I cried.
It was disgusting,really. Big, wet tears crawled down my cheeks and an obnoxious sob erupted from my throat. I collapsed right there, uncaring how helpless and vulnerable I was. It was the first moment in so long I'd focused on something other than my own guilt and shame. At that moment, I was sad. In truth, I had been sad for so long, I just ignored it. I piled it away with the things I didn't have time for and eventually I began to believe it just didn't exist. But it did, and it does, painfully so. And finally, finally, I was allowing my sadness to rear it's ugly head.
I was so absorbed in it, I didn't notice at first that she'd grabbed hold of my hand. Only after my sobs had quieted and I was brought back to the real world, did I notice her hand holding onto mine. I looked up at her through tear filled eyes and she smiled kindly.
"My name's Aerith. Why don't you come back to my house for some tea?" She asked kindly. I sniffled and nodded. She lead me through the streets until finally coming to a small quaint house surrounded by flowers. She invited me inside, where I met her mother, Elmyra, and we sat down at the table.
"You're Cerise Shyr." Her mother instantly recognized me. She was wary at first, obviously not a fan of Shinra. And so, because I needed to confess, and because I found these two women to be trustworthy, I confided everything.
Not about my powers, but my lies, the bad things I had done. And they listened. I broke down crying several times through it, but after a couple of hours, I managed to tell them everything. I even told them about my fear of the labs, though I left out my powers. Surprisingly, they didn't judge me either.
"Huh, so the face of war is a fake." Elmyra said nonchalantly and I looked down at the cup of tea in my hand.
"I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just didn't know what to do. And now, I'm stuck with no chance of escape. Everyone on Gaea knows what I look like. People who hate Shinra will kill me or kidnap me, and if I abandon Shinra he'll stop at nothing to kill me." I said miserably.
"Why? You're not a threat to him." Aerith said innocently.
"If I'm not with him, I'm against him. Besides, I know secrets I shouldn't. And I'm the face of war. If I go and say something against Shinra, people might start to listen. People already question me constantly about the honesty behind my stay at HQ." I said.
"I'm sorry kid." Elmyra said apologetically. I shrugged.
"It's my fault." I murmured. Aerith stood up suddenly, a look of determination within her green eyes.
"I may know someone who can help you. Come on!" She chirped, grabbing hold of my hand and running out of the house. She pulled me through the streets of Midgar until arriving at an old, abandoned church. She pushed the doors open, walking in. She turned to me and smiled, motioning for me to follow. I did so hesitantly, looking around the church carefully.
"Aerith, get away from her." I froze. That voice, I knew that voice.
"Tseng." I said coldly, whirling around. He stood behind the front doors, pushing them back closed and stepping further into the church. He eyed me carefully, before looking at Aerith.
"She's dangerous," He warned. "She's not human." I gasped slightly. How did he- There is no way he could've known. I whirled on him, lunging and tackling him to the floor, lacing my hands around his neck. Aerith gave a small shriek and ran across the church.
"Please stop!" She yelped but I ignored her.
"What do you know?" I hissed, tightening my grip around his neck when he squirmed. He stared up at me emotionlessly.
"I know enough." He said calmly. More tears built in my eyes, and I tightened my grip once more. He squirmed slightly, clearly becoming uncomfortable from my grip but made no other sudden movements.
"Tell me what you know!" I shrieked, tears dripping from my eyes and onto his cheeks.
"Cerise, what's going on?" Aerith asked nervously.
"Cissnei heard something strange the night of your birthday when you speaking with Sephiroth. She felt some loyalty to you, but ultimately she reported it to me. I managed to obtain a blood sample after one of your secret training sessions with the SOLDIER first class. I sent it down to the lab to be tested. Do you know what came up?" He asked lowly and I bit back a sob. "High levels of mako, non-diluted. You shouldn't be in your right mind, let alone alive. No one can survive the amount of mako in their bodies, it would consume them." He murmured. I loosened my hold on his neck and moved away from him, sitting down on the floor.
"Who else knows?" I whispered.
"Cissnei, Dr. Hojo and myself. I plan to tell the president first thing in the morning." He said calmly, standing up and straightening his suit. I gasped and cried more, wiping at my face to rid it of tears."What are you?" He asked, walking closer to me. I sniffled and looked up at him, vision blurry.
"When I was a baby, still in my mothers womb, my mother had a terrible accident. Only one of us could survive. She could have surgery and in return lose me, or forget the surgery but die of the injuries and stress of childbirth. All the doctors said she should've just had the surgery. I mean, in the accident I'd been hurt as well. There was only a fifteen percent chance I would survive through the rest of the pregnancy and birth. But she refused to give up on me. Long story short, she spent the rest of her pregnancy with me beside the lifestream. She drank it every day and ate berries from a bush nearby. While it ended up weakening her, slowly driving her mad, it healed me. And more." I said quietly. I stood up, still crying but no longer a sobbing mess.
"My mother gave birth to me. She fell into the lifestream, as did I. She died, the lifestream had other plans for me. I floated through it until I was saved by a woman. She gave me a name and a home until it became too dangerous for me to stay with her. So, she sent me to Wutai to a friend of hers. I stayed with her until the war started." I murmured.
"Until Sephiroth killed her." He finished and I nodded. "You were never a slave in Wutai. You lied so that you could hide in the most inconspicuous place possible-the place no one would ever assume you would hide. And you betrayed Wutai, my people, just to keep yourself safe." It was the first time any sort of emotion crossed into his voice. He sounded disgusted. I glared at him.
"You think I'm proud of what I did? I hate myself everyday for betraying innocent people, people who were my friends! But you don't know how it feels to be afraid every second you're alive. Cissnei ever tell you about the violent nightmares?" I asked and slowly, he shook his head. "I'm terrified! Every moment, even asleep, I live in fear of what Shinra, of what those scientists will do to me if they find me, find out what I am! I hated myself for what I did, but I was too afraid to stop it! So yes, I betrayed Wutai. I pretended to be something I'm not. But don't pretend to understand why I did it. You don't know how it feels to be me." I yelled, clenching my fists. He was silent. I looked over at Aerith, who was watching out exchange quietly.
"What will you do now?" He asked quietly, stepping closer.
"What will you do?" I countered. "Try and drag me back to HQ? I'll fight and run for the rest of my life if I have to, I will not be a science experiment." I warned.
"Go," he said so quietly I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly.
"What?" I asked.
"Go. Run and don't ever come back to Midgar. If I see you again, I will have to capture you and take you back to HQ." He warns. I was shocked-Tseng was going to let me go? I looked over at Aerith-maybe even Turks could sympathize. I sent him a silent thank you and looked at Aerith. She still looked confused, but smiled softly and nodded. I nodded back a thanks and turned and ran.
I didn't look back.
First thing I did when I arrived in Junon was buy a cheap bottle of hair dye and get a run-down hotel room. I said goodbye to my white-blonde locks and emptied the contents of dye into my hair carefully. I stepped into the shower (I was in serious need of one three day trip of riding in the back of a cargo truck) and washed the dye out of my hair and then cleaned myself up before stepping out. My hair was jet black. When dry, it almost looked like it had hints of red in it as well. I no longer looked so alien either, with my unusual hair color faded from existence. My eyes were still very noticeable though-bright cerise pink isn't exactly easy to conceal. But at least now no one would notice me at first glance and I could move through the city.
I threw the bottle of dye away and changed into the new clothes I'd bought-it was a lucky thing I always kept gil on me when I left HQ or I would've been broke. Still though, I was quickly running out of gil. The clothes I'd bought were cheap and meant to help hide my identity further. I was mostly seen in dresses and designer clothing. Now, I wore ripped jean shorts, sandals, and a black tank top. I grabbed my purse and hung it over my shoulder. I headed out of the hotel and started searching the town. Sephiroth was here with a group of infantrymen and regretfully-two turks. If they were still here, they would be at the reactor. And considering the problems the reactor was having, they would be here at least another day.
Luckily this wasn't my first trip to Junon and I knew the city fairly well. I found the path to the reactor and rushed up it, getting their within the hour. Just as I thought, they were here. I snuck around the side, hiding in wait for Sephiroth. It'd only be a few days since everything had happened, but I knew Shinra already had everyone on high alert looking for me. It seemed like I had waited forever, until I saw wisps of silver hair. I darted out, grabbing hold of his arm. He reacted instantly, moving to grab Masamune, until he caught sight of my face.
His eyes widened, and quickly grabbed hold of me and moved behind the reactor so we wouldn't be seen. "Shinra has everyone looking for you." He warned and I nodded.
"I know. I just had to come say goodbye. I don't know if we'll ever be able to meet again." I said sadly. I really didn't want to leave him behind-he was my best friend. But I didn't have much choice.
"I'll come with you." He affirmed and I shook my head.
"You can't." I reminded him.
"It's my job to protect you, remember?" He said quietly, but he knew my reasons outweighed his own even without hearing them.
"As much as I would love for you to come with me Seph, we both know I'm already too recognizable. If you come with me we'll just be found quickly. Besides, you can still protect me being in SOLDIER. I'm going to miss-"
"Cerise Shyr!" We both froze. Standing behind Sephiroth, was a group of Infantrymen. Upon hearing my name, the two turks joined them. I cursed and Sephiroth pushed me behind him, bringing Masamune in front of him.
"You would protect a fugitive, General?" One of the turks asked, pulling out her phone. She was going to tell Shinra! I leaped forward, throwing my arms out.
"Don't!" I yelled and a blast of yellow heat ran straight from the middle of my palm and to the group of enemies. The second it hit them, it sparked and flashed and recoiled-sending me flying back. I sat up quickly, staring at my palm in shock. Some of the sparks still resonated in my palm and clenched my fist and then unclenched, the sparks disappearing.
"Cerise, are you alright?" Sephiroth asked, kneeling down beside me and scanning his eyes over my body for wounds. I nodded, eyes wandering over to the group of infantrymen and turks. They were all lying on the ground, unmoving. I couldn't even see them breathing. The ground around them was charred and dead.
"Did I…" I trailed off, looking up at Sephiroth. He nodded gravely.
"You didn't do that with materia, did you?" He asked carefully and I shook my head, and though it didn't show, I was starting to freak out. He helped me stand up and we approached the group of them.
"Are they alive?" I asked and he have me a long, emotionless look.
"I don't think so. You hit them with the force of a fully powered green materia. If the blast didn't kill them instantly, I doubt they'll be alive for much longer." He murmured. I moved forward to heal them, but he grabbed my arm lightly. "Don't, Cerise. It's better this way." He reminded me and I watched their bodies. I had killed them. And because they would put Sephiroth and myself in danger, I had to keep them that way. I never thought I could feel more terrible than when I did lying about my stay in Wutai, but I learned that was a lie. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hid my face in the crook of his neck. I didn't want to look at them anymore.
"We should go." Sephiroth murmured. I pulled away and nodded. We left the reactor, hurrying into the center of town and towards the hotel I was staying at. "Where will you go?" He asked quietly and I hummed in response.
"I don't know." I answered truthfully.
"Will you send word once you're there?" He asked. I gave him a quiet glance and he nodded. He already knew the answer to that question.
"Too dangerous to let anyone know where I am. Phone calls can be overheard, people can be paid off, mail can be intercepted." I answered quietly. I unlocked the hotel door and invited him in. It wasn't a good idea to talk out in the open. I closed the door behind us and looked at him silently, not entirely sure what to say next.
"I'm sorry." He murmured. I blinked in surprise.
"For what?" I asked, approaching him. He met my eyes, gaze soft and sorrowful.
"I couldn't protect you." He answered and I sighed.
"You've done more than anyone else could have. You got me lifestream, kept my secret, and have been the only person I have ever had." I said and despite my normally strong and controlled nature, I started tearing up.
"What about Angeal and Genesis? Cissnei and Rufus?" He asked and he reached out, placing his large hand on the side of my face. It was strange-I'd always been the touchy one-I was always the one who initiated the hugs and hand holding. He allowed it but I'd always thought it made him uncomfortable. So it was unusual for him to be the one to initiate physical contact. Still, it was nice. I leaned into his touch, placing my small hand over his.
"Angeal and Genesis are my friends, yes, but they've never known what you know. And Cissnei, she betrayed me to Tseng. Rufus was more like an associate or ally. He admired my bravery and kept up appearances, but that was all really. You are the only person in this world that I can trust. The only person I want to trust." I admitted. He enveloped me in a hug-which again was unusual-but nice nonetheless. I pulled back a few seconds later and looked up to meet his eyes.
"I've got to escape and you need to go report what happened before someone else does." I whispered, tearing up again. He cupped the sides of my face and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss onto my forehead. It was his silent goodbye.
"Keep yourself safe." He murmured. I nodded, and then, he left. I wasted no time packing up and heading out. I still had a fair amount of gil so I'd use that to get a plane ride somewhere. I had a long journey ahead of me, a new life to start. I tried not to look back.
So...that just happened. I'm a little unsure if Tseng is in character, but he and Sephiroth both are hard characters for me to write. Anyway, let me know what you think! Next chapter will also be a past chapter. Hope you enjoyed!
