LovelessFangirl here. Sorry for the long wait and short chapter. Real life interferes again. I'm looking for a beta to go over my work and if anyone has any suggestions about my writing feel free to comment.
"Soubi?" I called quietly, wiping my tears away. The noise coming from the other side of the door stopped. Soubi entered the room and slowly moved over to his bed as though frightened to approach. Kio lingered in the doorway, his face carefully blank.
I realized as he stood there that he and soubi were both looking at me-at the empty air above my head. I looked away and brought my hands up to cover the area where my ears used to be. They're what he wanted anyway. I would not cry…not in front of Soubi. Not ever again. I'd done enough crying in the past two days to last a lifetime. "Ritsuka...I thought you'd sleep longer. Are you hungry?" Soubi asked, gently tugging my hands away from my head. I shook my head in response, the thought of food making my stomach turn.
Kio had not spoken or moved and his unusual solemnness made me hate myself just a little bit more. I always make people sad…or angry. I don't know what to do anymore. Why would he stay with me after this? After I lost my ears-which he'd sworn to take one day? He's a liar…remember Ritsuka? He'll always answer, he'll take your ears when you're older…he'll protect you. He's a liar. "What do you want Soubi?" I mumbled, more to myself than him. "Why are you still here? I don't have anything to give you anymore." Soubi sighed, pulling me close to him slowly. Being careful in a way he hadn't been in a very long time. "Because I love you Ritsuka."
"Loveless. It's not fitting at all. That's how adults love Ritsuka. How your precious Soubi will love you one day." He said as He lay next to me, holding me in a mockery of caring. As though He hadn't just stolen something precious from me. His hand idly tracing the bruises that painted my skin as He watched me fall apart next to him. "You'll enjoy this more if you don't fight so much Kitten." He stood and retrieved His clothing, dressing at a deliberately slow pace. He pulled me into a sitting position at the edge of my-the bed. "I'll be back next week" He said, planting soft kisses on my face and running His fingers through my hair. "If you're not here I'm going to be very upset. So upset that when I find you-and I will find you-I may just kill your mother. If you're not here next Thursday I will make sure you see everyone you care for die. And then when I'm the only person left for you to turn to, I'll keep you in a room so small and dark that you'll beg for me to touch you just so you can see another human being. You'll beg to be my boy again…just so you don't have to go back to the dark. Do you understand me, Ritsuka?" I nodded. "Good boy." He gave me one last brutal kiss, making me glad that Soubi had already taken the first, before leaving. I had to call Soubi. He'd save me…make me clean again. He promised he'd always answer if I called. He promised.
"…Love…Love is disgusting." I was shaking. It was just a stupid word but still…I was shaking. Soubi said it all the time, but I knew in that moment that it would always make me think of Him. "Love destroys people. I never want to love again." I understood my horrible name, and for the first time I met Soubi and he called me 'Loveless' I didn't hate it. Love wasn't safe. People will always hurt you Ritsuka. Especially the people who say they love you. Remember Seimei? Seimei loved me and he faked his death just to get away from me. My Mother loved me and she-She hurt you so badly…No one will ever hurt you again. I'll make sure of it. I felt myself smile. "-suka? Ritsuka are you okay?" I looked up at Soubi and realized he'd been talking to me.
"Sou-chan I think you should make him some soup or something. He looks kind of faint. He totally spaced just now." Soubi nodded reluctantly, stroking my hair before he left. I tried to convince myself he didn't notice me flinch.
