Chapter Twenty-One
Resisting
*Stiles
Stiles sighed softly as the pain receded for about the hundredth time since they got back to the loft. It's been hours since Deaton left to get the ingredients for the remedies, and there still hasn't been any word. He was starting to get worried, his skin was slowly get a grey tint to it and his eyes had yellow flecks mixed in with the brown.
Stiles shook his head slightly and let out a shaky breath, "I'm okay" he said, though he really wasn't so sure. Though the immense pain was gone, he still ached all over the place. "I can't just sit here Derek. We need to do something?"
Derek sighed softly, "Okay, but what exactly can we do Stiles?" he asked, not really wanting Stiles to move or really do much at the moment.
Stiles shrugged "I don't know, but I hate just sitting here" he said.
"I know you do" Derek said and sighed softly, he hated just sitting here too, this entire thing sucks. "You never should have drank that stuff" he said more to himself then Stiles.
Stiles shook his head slightly, "Stop Derek" he said and looked at the werewolf. "I wasn't lying when I said I love you" he said and smiled small. "Even now knowing what I do I would make the same choice. I would never be able to just sit back and watch you die" he said and sighed softly. "You're not the only who can make sacrifices you know" he said a bit jokingly, though he definitely meant it.
Derek stared at Stiles for a moment before leaning in and kissing him softly, "Doesn't mean I have to like it" he mumbled and smiled small before kissing him once more.
Stiles nodded slightly before kissing him back, "Suppose you're right" he said and leaned into him a bit. The fact that Derek didn't say I love you back was painfully clear, but that was fine, if he wasn't ready then he didn't have to say it. "Let's just not talk about it okay? I don't want to argue, not now" he said.
Derek nodded "Okay," he said and nodded again and wrapped his arms around the human and lightly started rubbing his back, hoping that might somehow relieve the ache, that he knew still remained there.. .
Stiles let out a small sigh and relaxed into Derek, he still hurt all over the place, but the rubbing helped, it helped him relax some how. His comfort, however, was short lived, a pain started radiating from his stomach. His hand slapped over his mouth as he started to gag, "Oh god" he muttered before jolting off of the couch. He ran towards the bathroom, but only managed to fall on his face, which definitely had him swearing.
Stiles quickly got up and stumbled over to the bathroom barely making it in time. He fell next to the toilet and coughed up some black liquid before starting to really throw up. He sat there gagging and coughing until there was nothing let to throw up, and then he was still there just dry heaving, because he just couldn't get it to stop.
"Stiles" Derek in surprise when the human first jumped out of his arms, when he saw him running to the bathroom however he kind of put two and two together. He quickly stood up and hurried after him. He knelt down next to him, near the toilet, he wanted to reach out and touch him, but he stopped himself, thought he might just make it worse.
Stiles screamed as a pain shot through his eyes and they turned yellow and almost looked as if they grew in their sockets. Stiles clutched his head and kind of just rolled up in a ball on the floor as pain started growing everywhere, his body morphing in and out of his normal shape. He focused all his will power on making it stop, on not letting the change take him, he wasn't willing to let go, even if every fiber of his being was telling him too.
Suddenly Stiles' screaming stopped and his eyes rolled back as he started seizing on the bathroom floor. He lost consciousness as his whole body convulsed and shook beyond his control.
Derek panicked, literally having no idea what to do in this situation. "Stile…. Stiles" he said and reached out to touch him, but stopped, again not wanting to make it worse. Though after another second he just said screw it and carefully turned him onto his side. That's what helped Eric that one time if he remember correctly. Thankfully he didn't have to worry about it for very long before the seizing stopped about a minute later.
Derek let out a relieved sigh, "Stiles" he said tentatively, but the human didn't say anything back, and he wasn't moving either didn't even look like he was breathing. "Stiles" he said again and carefully moved him so he was laying on his back.
Stiles jolted forward and took in a lungfull of air.
Oh thank god Derek thought as he looked over the human, who wasn't looking to human anymore. He hadn't noticed before because he was focused on other things, but he was starting to look more like a Ahzi. His skin was almost the same color as the creature and his ears were starting to look kind of deformed, and his eyes were still yellow.
"No no no no no no" Stiles chanted as he slapped his hands over his ears and started shaking his head. "I won't. I won't. I won't." he repeated.
"Stiles what's wrong?" Derek asked and reached out to touch him, wanting more then anything to make this better. He thought it might have been the seizure bothering him, but he didn't think this would be the reaction.
"I can hear her" Stiles said and looked around a bit frantically, "She's in my head" he said and started mumbling incoherently again.
"Who is?" Derek asked kind of confused.
"Her" Stiles yelled, "Josie" he said and squeezed his eyes closed tightly and continued to shake his head. "She's telling me to do things, horrible things" he said, his voice kind of hoarse. "Things I don't want to do, but do at the same time" he said and looked up at Derek "I'm starting to feel this pull, like I'm suppose to go to her" he said, fresh tears starting to form in his eyes. "I'm scared Derek…. I don't know what to do" he said and shook his head slightly.
"Ignore her Stiles" Derek said, "You're the most stubborn pig headed person I know. If anyone can resist her control it's you" he said and smiled small, trying to be reassuring. "You can do this Stiles" he said and reached out to take his hand. He slowly pulled it away from the side of his face and held it firmly in his hand. "I know you can Stiles" he said.
Stiles scoffed, "You sure you're not betting on the wrong horse?" he asked jokingly with a small laugh before flinching as another set of commands flew through his mind.
Derek decided to ignore the flinch for the time being and nodded slightly "I know I am" he said with a small laugh. "In fact I'm so sure that I'd stack it all on you" he said with a smile.
"Hope you're on good terms with the bookie" Stiles said jokingly with a small laugh before shaking his head slightly. "Seriously Derek, I don't know if I can do this" he said let out a shaking breath. "I-it's consuming me" he said and used his free hand to shakily gesture over his body. "E-even now as I talk to you, I feel it trying to take control, feel her trying to take control" he said with a frown.
Derek smiled, "Very good terms actually, we're best friends" he said jokingly before sobering up at what Stiles had to say next. He sighed softly and studied him for a moment, "I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like, but I know you well enough to know that you can beat this" he said with a small nod. "You expelled the nogitsune from your body, that couldn't have been easy" he said.
Stiles scoffed, "Yeah, after I let him in, in the first place" he said and sighed softly. "A lot of people died because of me Derek" he said with a frown, "What if it does take control, and I hurt someone, or you" he said and looked up at Derek as an idea struck him. "I need you to promise me something" he said, knowing that Derek would hate what he was about to say. "If it gets too far…. if I become dangerous then I need you take care of it….. of me" he said and looked at him pleadingly. "I don't care how you do it, but I need you to make sure no one else gets killed because of me" he said.
Derek frowned, "Stiles you can't ask me to kil-"
"I can, and that's exactly what I'm doing" Stiles said, interrupting him. "Please Derek, if that happens it won't really be me anyway. You heard what Deaton said, there would be no coming back. I just need to know now that I don't ever have to worry about someone dying because of me, because I was to weak to keep it at bay" he said.
Derek wasn't sure if he could actually do that but he nodded anyway, "Okay" he said and squeezed Stiles' hand lightly. "If that's what you want I'll do my best. I'll do what you want." he said.
Stiles nodded slightly, deciding that was good enough for now, "Good" he said and smiled small, though smiling was the last thing he felt like doing at the moment. "Can you uh…. help me up" he asked, since he knew he wouldn't be able to move on his own at the moment. He felt like shit everything hurt and he still felt like he could vomit, even though there was nothing left to throw up.
Derek nodded slightly and slowly stood up himself, then he bent over and carefully picked up the human, not bothering with trying to help him walk. He walked out of the bathroom and over to his bed. He laid him down and sat on the edge of the bed, "Better than the couch" he said, trying to lighten the mood.
Stiles nodded slightly, "Yeah, it is" he said and winked before closing his eyes tightly trying to block out the voices in his head. By now her voice was always there, it was never ending and it was getting hard to resist her commands, even now. He wasn't even completely changed and he was finding it difficult not to give into her. "Derek talk to me" he said and looked up at the werewolf.
"W-What do you want me to say?" Derek asked, his mind suddenly going blank on what to say.
"I don't know, anything so I have something else to concentrate on. So there's something else I can listen to," Stiles said.
"Okay ummmmm" Derek said with a small frown, "I guess I could uh…. tell you about the time I went camping" he said.
"I thought you didn't want to talk about that because that was when… well you know" Stiles said, remembering back to when he asked him about it when they were camping in the woods, which seemed like forever ago now.
Derek nodded slightly, "Yeah it is, but other than that the trip itself wasn't bad" he said with a small smile. "I mean I just don't like talking about how much fun I had that night, when well my family was burning to death" he said and sighed softly. "But I'll make an exception just this once" he said.
Stiles smiled small, "Oh how kind of you" he said and flinched slightly as the pain started up again, though he refused to scream. He wanted to hear Derek's story, and didn't want him to stop talking. He loved hearing the man's voice, even now it calmed him down.
Derek heard Stiles' heart rate pick up, meaning he was in pain again, but he didn't ask about it. He knew that would just make it worse, so instead he just went on with his story, "Okay so uh, a few of my friends and I decided that we wanted to party. So we got Shawn's older brother Jake to buy us some booze, guy definitely over charged us but whatever" he said and sighed softly as he tried to remember more details, it was a long time ago and well the night was kind of overshadowed by something else. "Then we packed our stuff took our current girlfriends and all piled into a truck. I'd brought Kate, but obviously she hadn't stayed there the whole night." he said and shook his head slightly as he looked down at his hands.
"Derek, if you don't want too…." Stiles struggled to get out, his voice strained as he still held back the urge to scream.
Derek shook his head slightly, "No it's okay, I can talk about it" he said and took Stiles's hand back in his. He squeezed it reassuringly before continuing, "We stayed at the same spot you and me did, it was a spot a I found a few times when I was running around wolfed out and I thought it was a nice spot for camping" he said and shrugged slightly. "Once we got there we had the girls set up camp while us guys went out to find stuff to burn for the fire" he said and scoffed slightly. "Once everything like that was all ready we sat around the fire and started drinking, I didn't notice it then but I can see now that Kate was definitely pushing me to drink a lot, I was so wasted that night" he said and chuckled softly. "Some of it is find of a blur, but what I do remember is that me and Luke, my other friend ended up getting dared to skinny dip in the river that was close to the clearing" he said and smiled at the memory. "And well I couldn't back down from the challenge so we made the trip to the river and I stripped out of my clothing before jumping in, Luke of course chickened out but I was to drunk to care" he said with a smile.
Stiles chuckled painfully "Would have liked to see that" he said and forced a smile before going quiet again, in too much pain to talk at the moment.
Derek chuckled, "I sure" he said with a smile, though it quickly faded when he saw how much pain Stiles was in. He resisted the frown that wanted to settle onto his face and went on with the story, "And uh…. when I got out you can probably guess that my ass-whole of friends stole my clothes and ran off" he said and sighed softly as he remember back. "Though again I really didn't care. I was just like, whatever bitch, I'm hot" he said and chuckled a little bit before shaking his head slightly. "Anyway, I ran around naked for a long while before they finally gave me my clothes back, guess they got tired of me singing, 'I'm too sexy for my clothes'' and dancing around the campfire he said, laughing at the memory and the horrified look on his friends faces. "It was a while before I realized Kate left, but apparently she made up an excuse about her parents needing her back home" he said and shrugged slightly. "So I didn't really think much of it and just went back to having fun." he said
Stiles laughed softly, "Wait wait wait back up" he said, barely noticing the pain at the moment as he pictured what Derek said. "You sang I'm too sexy for my clothes and danced around naked in front of your friends?" he asked his voice still kind of strain but not as bad as before.
Derek nodded slightly, "Yeah and you will not believe how long my friends held that over my head for" he said and laughed softly. "I personally think they were just jealous, I mean their girlfriends definitely never looked at me the same way again" he said with a smile.
Stiles scoffed, "Yeah I bet" he said and flinched as the pain momentarily intensified. How he's even kept from scream he doesn't know. "Tell me more" he said and squeezed his eyes closed tightly as he tried fighting off the turn, it was just getting more painful and he was finding it hard not to scream.
Derek frowned as he stared down at Stiles but nodded anyway, "Uh yeah okay" he said and paused a moment as he thought. "After I got dressed we all drank a bit more before deciding to play a game" he said and thought about the details a moment before continuing. "It was kind of just an intense game of hide and go seek" he said with a small smile. "Everyone would hide, and you could hide with someone and go out as far as you'd like. Once you were found you would help look for the other's" he said with a smile. "Since we were completely wasted it always took hours to find everyone again. It was fun, especially when the finding group got really big, we'd just being laughing and screaming, it was awesome" he said. "I don't think any of us actually got any sleep that night. The sun came up before we even stopped running around." he said.
Stiles nodded slightly, "Scott and I have drank in the woods before after Allison broke up with him" he said with a smile. "But then some ass-wholes tried to steal our booze and Scott kind of wolfed out for a moment and broke the bottle" he said with a smile. "And then I'm pretty sure Peter burned em alive" he said.
Derek chuckled "Wow, that's some story you got there" he said.
Stiles scoffed, "Hey buddy, I have other stories. They're just not in the woods" he said, and opened his eyes as the pain slowly eased away. He let out a sigh of relief and smiled at Derek before slowly sitting up and resting up against the headrest. . "You know you sounds like a pretty cool dude….. What happened?" he asked jokingly.
Derek glared at him for a moment before just shaking his head, "Well you seem to like me well enough the way I am now so I must still got it" he said.
"Eh" Stiles said with a smile. "You're mostly just grumpy" he said.
Derek laughed softly, "Yeah okay, if you say so" he said with a smile.
"I do" Stiles said with a small nod and jumped slightly when his phone suddenly started. "God" he muttered and pulled the stupid thing out of his pocket. "It's Scott" he said as he stared at the screen for a moment before answering it. "Hello"
