Chapter Two: Plan B

September 4th

Journal!

Wow, already the fourth? This is bizarre. We already have TONS of homework. Since our N.E.W.Ts are coming up, I'll have to study as hard as I can if I want to become an Auror. Bloody hell, what if I can't become an Auror! What I have to become a healer! Or a teacher- nah, I'm too stupid… But, oh, the horror! Moony is trying to make me study, but-

Trying? He's going mad!

What the bloody- PADFOOT!

Yesh, Prongs?

What- how- when-

Umm… Why?

Yes, yes, thank you Wormtail. WHY are you- WORMTAIL!

Yeah?

How did you get in my journal?

Simple spell, really. Took me forty-five minutes to master it. I simply cast it on another blank book and-

HOW did you lot get into my journal… You have to know the password!

Simple. Lily Evans.

Lily Evans.

Lily Evans.

Oh. Well, that's lovely. Now I have company.

Why thank you, Prongs.

Great. And to think I wrote a whole page about Lily and was absolutely sure that no one would find it… and here are my three best friends…

Actually, after the first two paragraphs, we got rather bored.

That's nice…

No we didn't, it was hilarious. They bore beautiful children with flaming red hair because Prongs said that his was too ugly. But they had his AMAZING quidditch ability. Pile of dung, really.

Hatsay otnay eallyray ay oodgay deaiay.

Who's gay?!

Onay! Igpay Atinlay.

Sorry?

I'm speaking Pig Latin. Fairly easy.

Do tell!

You see, you just remove the first letter of a word and move it to the end and add 'ay'.

It's not really Latin, is it?

No.

So what's my name?

Iriussay…

IRIUSSAY? Oooooh, how exotic. I think I'd like to go by Irriussay from now on.

Please, don't Padfoot…STOP whistling… SIRIUS, I CAN HEAR YOU FROM MY BED!

Who's Sirius, Prongs? Sounds like a good looking fellow.

Iriussay…

Yes?

Your name is Sirius.

Nah.

No comment.

L.E. L.E. L.E. L.E. L.E.

September 5th

JOURNAL—

I AM BLOODYBRILLIANT! Haha, now I have a plan B for Operation XL. It's pretty fool proof. I think…

Step 1: Hurt myself… in some way. Note: Must be next to Lily.

Step 2: Cry in agony.

Step 3: Get Lily to feel sorry for me.

Yup that's about it… Um… Yeah… Well, anyways… Today was pretty… awesome… I woke up at 8:00, therefore late for breakfast. I went straight to Transfiguration. Lily, the damn girl, sat right in front of me. So, I tuned McGonagall into a half-bird… cat… type… thing. And... Well… you get the picture. Lily half laughed and half looked revolted. What is it with me and harming teachers? Well, she set "mum" straight and told me off. And gave me a detention. But who cares? It's with Ms. Head Girl! Heck YES I am excited. I probably have lines at the worst.

Well, after Transfiguration, there was Charms. I sat way in the back while Lily sat WAY in the front. I could've vanished Flitwick if she had sat in front of me. So it's all good. We had double potions, and Lily was fabulous as always. Anyways- ouch. What's this?

WOW, that's huge!

Oh my.

Holy COW,

What is it!

Z-z-z…

Moony, how can you be asleep at a time like this?!

And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't sleep in my journal, thank you very much.

Z-Zi-zzz…

Moony? Are you trying to say that Prong's has a-

SHH!

ZIT!

WHAT!

Sorry, mate, we tried to break it to you nicely…

WHAT THE-

covers Moony's mouth with hand

Come on, it's not that bad, is it? It's- it's rather cute, innit?

Take a look for yourself, mate.

WOW, Jupiter is on my upper lip!

Really? I thought maybe it was Saturn, just without the… sorry…

Do you think it would be distracting to Lily?

L.E. L.E. L.E. L.E. L.E.

September 6th

Yuck.

Double yuck.

Today, I have to perform Plan B. It's my deadline today. But I need to try and cover up this zit! Okay. Get- off- wand- get- off- OW! It's bleeding! Maybe it's gone! rushes to mirror DARN. At least it's more of like Earth, than Saturn now. Eh… oh well.

L.E. L.E. L.E. L.E. L.E.

That is IT! I've HAD it with everyone and their stupid remarks, like, "WOW! IT HAS its OWN BRAIN!" Honestly! Everyone needs to just SHUT UP.

Prongs calm down!

And YOU! Get out of my journal! Out, out, out! Breathe. Breathe, James, just breathe. Okay, I think I'm calm. Anyways, as if the day couldn't get any worse, I tried to start Plan B, but it went incredibly horrible.

Step 1: Hurt myself… in some way. Note: Must be next to Lily. (check)

Step 2: Cry in agony. (check)

Step 3: Get Lily to feel sorry for me. (check)

Well, they're all done… The only thing wrong was… I was seriously hurt… Oh, yeah, she felt sorry for me. And now I'm in the Hospital Wing! The incident went something like this:

"Hey, Lily!" I said, catching up to her in the halls. She was laughing with her friends, and it seemed like she was in a really good mood.

"Hey, James," she said, turning away from them and looking at me. She looked at me. ME! James-you-idiot-I-want-to-kill-you-Potter! We talked about the weather for a while, and then, just as I was about to ask her out, I fake tripped on a step… Except… It was the trick step. My foot ended up in there,I bumped my head on the end of a marble stair. It was painful. Hm? Oh, wait, it didn't end there, no. The trick step let my foot go and I went sliding down the stairs, and finally, I hit my head on the wall and got a concussion! Oh yeah, I'm just lucky to be alive, aren't I?

She visited me once. It looked like she was crying, but when she saw my head wrapped in bandages and my right arm broken, she laughed. She brought me chocolate! I so will not eat this chocolate.

Oops, you mean the muggle kind?

What d'you mean?

Well, I sorta saw it on your side table and figured, well I haven't been to dinner yet, and Prongs doesn't like muggle candy, so maybe I'll just-

You ATE my candy bar!

Nooo…

Phew…

IthreitatSnivelly…

Padfoot!

Uhh, gotta go!

Excuse me, while I go crush my best friend.

You can't, your bed written.

Uh, I mean, death given… you can go now…

shivers You're scary.

RAWR!