Simon was already there when Inara and River arrived in the mess, River's arm resolutely around the older girl's waist for comfort. She was still so afraid. Inara, more careful, had her arm around River's shoulders. In spite of everything, River laughed a little inside that Inara was worried about what Simon would think, and naughtily leaned her head against Inara's arm as well, enjoying the comfort she felt well up in her from further contact. She couldn't help but smile at the companion's sigh, and watched as a whisper of a smile crossed her brother's face as she did so.

Even so, he couldn't help but get up and Inara moved aside so he could wrap his arms around River. She could hear his thoughts even better with the physical contact, and didn't like the meds she could hear floating around in there. "No meds, Simon. Not now." She murmured firmly. She felt him tighten against her, but was saved from his response by Mal's arrival, and her brother let go of her to see what the Captain had to say.

"So as you probably all know by now, given the way word travels on this boat, we're headed to Paquin." Mal stuck his thumbs in his belt. "Could be, there'll be work about for some of us. Not so much for others." His gaze shifted to Inara briefly and then back to the group at the table. "Could be we'll be out on the Rim awhile, could be we won't. It's hard to say. We'll be doing what we need to do to keep this crew safe." He took a look at the dinner table, and made in the direction of his seat, making it clear he was done talking for the moment.

River thought it a credit to Jayne that his thoughts were accepting rather than grumbling. He still wasn't particularly fond of the troubles she caused, but the fact that she'd saved his life more than once in her time on the ship seemed to have balanced things out for him.

A sense of worry emanating from Inara regarding her thoughtful staring off into space caused her to turn and smile at the Companion. "Just thinking." She explained. Inara nodded and took her hand to guide her to her seat. Simon was hovering, but seeing Inara had control of the situation he let it slide and sat down in the seat on her other side, occupying himself with dishing things onto her plate. River rolled her eyes at him, but picked up a fork clumsily with one of her bandaged hands, holding onto Inara's hand under the table with the other. She didn't like the bandages. She wanted to feel Inara's skin against hers. Sighing, she poked her fork into the food on her plate and started eating.


Days later...

Inara stood on the platform above the cargo bay, watching River dance.

Mal, who could refuse the girl nothing, had put down and varnished wood boards on a small section, installed a barre, and put up mirroring, all as a "surprise" for her last birthday. River had been delighted, if not remotely surprised.

At first, she'd danced barefoot, but she'd managed to find an old pair of ballet slippers somewhere and Inara had helped her change them to fit.

Inara loved to watch River dance. Very few people could make ballet look effortless, and yet River flowed through the positions as if they were the only way she'd every moved. Inara knew firsthand how difficult ballet was – it was one of the many schools of dance been she'd trained in – and she'd even been considered quite good, but River made the most celebrated professionals pale in comparison.

"Wish I could move like that." Kaylee commented wistfully, leaning on the rail beside Inara. "She's so beautiful."

"I wish you'd tell her instead of me." Inara replied waspishly, then sighed. "I'm sorry. That was unkind. She just misses you so terribly."

Kaylee shook her head. "No, you're right. I know I've pushed her away since that nightmare, and I know it isn't fair, or nice." She shrugged. "It's just...She knows what I'm feeling. If I pretended differently, she'd know it was a lie. Where's the kindness in that?"

"I don't want you to lie to her, Kaylee. I want you to tell her. Talk to her. She understands what you're feeling. She feels it's justified. Discussing things might make you both feel better."

Kaylee looked surprised, but nodded. "Can't feel much worse than I do right now, so I might as well give it a shot."

Inara smiled fondly at her younger friend and squeezed her shoulder gently. "I know you miss her, too."

"I do." Kaylee agreed. "It's just hard knowing someone's hurting and that there's nothing you can do to fix it, you know?"

"But you can do a lot." Inara argued. "Just being her friend and showing you care will help more than you think."

Kaylee peered up at her. "But she knows what I'm thinking."

"Léi shēng dà , yǔ diǎn xiǎo" (Loud thunder, but only tiny drops of rain )* Inara murmured. "What you do will mean more." She sighed heavily. "I wanted to buy her pointe shoes when we were in the Core."

"Pointe shoes?" Kaylee questioned, puzzled.

"Special ballet shoes that let you dance on the tips of your toes." Inara explained. "It's an advanced technique. River spends ages looking at mine, and I can see she's off in her head, remembering dancing. Hers were at the Academy. But you need to buy them exactly right, and it's not like I could take River to a fancy store in the Core, there are too many cameras. And there's no way I'll find a dance store anywhere but a Core planet." She sighed.

"That's sad."Kaylee agreed. "She does so love dancing." She leaned her chin on the railing. "You can dance ballet?"

"Not like River. But I used to, back when I was training. It was thought to develop balance, poise, and strength of character and body."

"And did it?" Kaylee questioned, the corner of her mouth tilting upward.

Inara chuckled. "I thought so. I think in some it just developed frustration."

"I can see why." Kaylee gestured to River, who had one leg up near her head.

"River's abilities are exceptional." Inara informed her. "I've seen professionals who don't begin to touch on what she can do."

"She is a wonder, our River." Kaylee grinned. "I think I'll talk to her when she's done dancing."

"When she's done, I need her on the bridge." Mal commented from behind them. "We're nearing Paquin."

"We got news on a job?" Kaylee asked, turning.

"Might do." Mal examined the mechanic. "Why aren't you in the engine room?"

"Nothin' to do, Cap." Kaylee teased. "Everything's ship-shape and as close as I can get to top notch working order. So I'm watching River and talking to Inara."

"Fine." Male agreed. "But when River comes up to the bridge, I want you in the engine room. We'll be docking before the hour's out."

"Will do."

"Don't suppose you'll be getting any work, out this way." Mal said to Inara, leaning against the railing with Kaylee.

"No, but I have enough in my accounts to last a while." She replied cautiously. It was hard to tell if he was going to pick a fight or not.

"That's good. It might be a while before we can go anywhere civilised." Mal said seriously.

"If things get serious, I'll join in on the petty thievery." Inara replied snarkily.

"I know you will, if it keeps her safe." Mal stood and walked off. "Tell her I need her, won't you?" he tossed over his shoulder.

"Would you really join in on a job, if Mal asked you to?" Kaylee questioned once he'd left.

"Depends on the job." Inara replied. "I wasn't lying. I have enough money to not work for a while."

"What if River asked you to?" the mechanic asked cheekily.

Inara eyed her. "You know." She said accusingly.

Kaylee blushed. "I guessed, yes. River confirmed it. I think everyone on Serenity knows what's what between you two except her big brother, and that's 'cause he don't want to see it."

"Jayne knows?" Inara asked in exasperation.

Kaylee grinned. "Fine. Maybe Jayne don't know. But everyone else does because they were talking about it at breakfast."

"Talking about what?" River asked, appearing at the top of the stairs and slipping her hand into Inara's.

"You and your glamorous Companion, of course." Kaylee replied with a grin, seemingly having forgotten she was afraid of River in the excitement of the moment.

"Was Simon there?" River asked, worry tingeing her voice.

" 'Course not, genius. We aren't stupid." Kaylee rolled her eyes. "The Captain was looking for ya."

"Yes. We're close to Paquin." River agreed. "I should get to the bridge." She squeezed Inara's hand and headed off up the stairs.

"Which means I should get to the engine room." Kaylee followed her.

Inara sighed. Maybe she'd have to join in on the petty thievery just to have something to do.

River's laughter echoed back to her along the corridor, suggesting she'd heard.

The Companion smiled. At least it looked like Kaylee was back to her usual self.


"What's the plan?" River slid into the seat beside the Captain.

"We have a meet at a local bar which will hopefully lead to some gainful employment." He replied. "We'll be docking in 20 minutes or so."

"Who's going to the meet?" she asked.

"Anyone who wants to go to a bar that isn't you or your brother." Mal informed her. "So probably me, Zoë, and Jayne."

"Who're you meeting?"

"A good middle man. Contacted him when we got in range, said we'd just finished something up and asked if he had anything he might need doing. He said he might. Asked if I minded staying out in the Border planets a while longer, so I'm hoping it's something to our liking."


It wasn't her dream, it was Simon's. She heard his voice echoing all around her.

"She's not all right! They're hurting her, it says so."

"Simon, we're not having this discussion again." River tried to reach out in the dream, touch her father's face. She couldn't. She knew he was gone.

"I'll schedule an appointment with the doctor for you." Her mother said quietly, voice worried. "You aren't all right."

"I'm fine." Simon insisted. "Why can't you see what's right in front of you! Why do you think we can't see her? Why does she never come home? It's River we're talking about!"

Their mother shook her head. "It's an intensive program, Simon. She's not in GenEd any more. She made friends, she said so. I'm sure she's just busy." She tried to smile. "You're being paranoid. Think about it. River's growing up."

Simon made a disgusted noise. "This is the girl who came to visit me every weekend when I was at med school. Suddenly she doesn't have time to write?" He held out a letter, her letter. "I know what this says."

River watched as the scene changed. Unable to help, she watched as her parents were pulled from the house and agents spilled onto the estate.

"What's going on? What are you doing? Where's Simon?" Her mother's face looked drawn, tired. There was dried blood on her temple.

"Your son broke into a secure Alliance facility and stole a valuable asset. Where he is and what he is doing is what I'm here to find out."

Her mother swallowed hard. "River." She whispered. "He was right." She looked up at the man. "I don't know anything. I didn't even believe him." She said harshly. He hit her.

"We know he confided in you."

"But I didn't believe him. You've already searched the house. You know." He hit her again, breaking her nose. She cried out. "You know there's nothing there. We don't know anything, my husband and I. Just let us go."

"You know your son was caught in a blackout zone. Arrested. Who was he talking to?"

Her mother wiped at the blood gushing from her nose carefully, wincing. "Men. Men he said could help River. He never said anything else. He knew we didn't believe him." She examined the man seriously. "You know he's too smart to try and get in touch with us. What are you expecting to find?"

"We'll see." The man picked up electrodes from the table beside them. River watched her mother struggle as her arms were suddenly held immobile against the chair.

River awoke with a gasp.

"River?" Inara was instantly awake, above her, searching her eyes, one hand brushing the hair behind River's ears that had escaped.

"Dreams" River whispered.

"Nightmares?" Inara questioned sadly, playing with the ends of River's hair gently. Her expression changed to panic. "Do I need to tell Mal? Have they found us?"

River pressed her bandaged fingers to Inara's lips. "Be calm, qīn ài de nǐ (my darling)." Her hand left Inara's lips to tuck a loose curl away. "Not my dreams. Simon's." River looked up at her. "I'll be back." She promised. Inara's expression suggested she'd been unaware River could share in their dreams. "I need to talk to him."

Inara nodded. "All right." The little frown on her forehead and her inner turbulence betrayed her. River sat up and kissed her forehead fondly. "Don't worry, bǎo bèi, I'll be back soon." She slipped quietly from the bed and then paused by the door and turned back to Inara. "And I don't end up in your dreams by accident unless you feel extremely strongly about something." Inara's blush made her smile as she left the shuttle.

She knocked on Simon's door. "River?" he called.

She pushed the door open. "Yes." She moved to sit on the bed beside him.

"It's true, isn't it? That's the fate I left them to."

River sighed. She wanted to be mad at him. She wanted to scream and tell him not to be naïve. Of course the Alliance took them. She wanted to ask him why he assumed she knew what he was talking about, and yet refused to believe in what she saw. But she couldn't. She couldn't be mad at her constantly patient brother, who tried everything he could to help her. Who had given up everything just to find her.

"I don't know what happened to them." She said honestly, sitting down beside him.

"But you can guess." He sighed and leaned back on the bed, pinching his nose like he always did when he had a headache. "They didn't know anything."

"They knew us." She said, shrugging.

Simon shook his head. "No, they didn't. They didn't know us at all."

River shivered at the hollowness in his voice and the sadness in his heart. "If they'd believed you, you never would have gotten near me." She told him honestly. She sighed, and slipped her hand into his. "I still can't believe you did." It was true. The chances of his success had been so negligible; she had never dared to hope he would get to her. She had just wanted him to know she hadn't left him voluntarily.

Simon squeezed her hand. "Of course I came for you."

River smiled. He had such confidence that no matter what, he would have gotten to her eventually. She stood up. "I'll see you in the morning. I just wanted to check you were all right."

"Yeah, I'm all right." He smiled at her. "Thanks, River."

" 'Night." River returned to Inara's shuttle, pleased. Simon was starting to believe her.


*Chinese idiom: "Loud thunder, but only tiny drops of rain" aka. A lot of talk, but no action / actions speak louder than words.