A/n: Hi, you may have forgotten me, if you have check out my profile!
Anyways, I wanted to say that I'm really really sorry for not having updated in ages! I've had exams, a broken computer, travelling etc. it all builds up on yeh, I tell you!
Anyways, I don't want to further delay your wait… HERE IT IS! CHAPTER THREE!
Hospital Wing – The day after
Oh
My
Sweet
Merlin!
You can say ticked off again. I am spending my Sunday lying in a hospital bed, freezing my ass off, and yes, much to my utter disgust retching my guts out.
Whoop-de-freaking-do.
Stupid magic. Shouldn't there be some sort of cure for this thing? A potion? Apparently not.
After only like six hundred thousand hours of stupid lectures about how not to stay out in the rain rolls eyes and get sick – all of which I didn't listen to, just made attentive faces – Madame stopped to take a breath and I asked her if she was French.
She stared at me…
And stared…
And stared…
What is it with these people? Its like being asked random questions is… bad.
Ok, so I was sore because she was YELLING at me when I was in such a delicate state. Talk about a doctor.
HMPH!
After a year of staring – to this day I swear that she is still staring at me – she gave me an answer.
Its funny how she still stares at me to this day because consequently it written on THE SAME DAY…
Yes, as you can tell, being ill is warping my brain.
Not that it's working at the moment, my brain that is, not the warping. Speaking English is way too complicated for me at the moment. People wouldn't believe it if I told them that French was easier to master than English. They all looked at me like I was insane…
The same look that the hospital woman gives me…
And the teachers…
And my parents…
And my friends…
I reckon that my horse gives me a look that clearly says, 'go off to your home at St. Mungo's now. Good bye!'
Well thank you very much horsey, remind me to give you an extra carrot.
No one takes me seriously.
Anyways, after telling me that she was indeed French, I started talking to the matron. Of course it was in French because that is the easiest language.
Physco?
You Betcha!
The good thing about this whole affair is that words gotten out that I am actually sick and haven't had another run in with gravity and injured myself – I've heard reports that it took quite a bit of convincing…
HMPH!
What does that say about me as a person…
'Lily Evans is only the single most uncoordinated person with more Karma than an Azkaban inmate.'
That's probably it…
Meanies!
Anyways, as I was saying, people have brought me a ton of chocolate… so now I'm going to get fat! And high!
It's like receiving smelly bath salts and soaps for your birthday. Its like, "UM excuse me, but DO I SMELL OR SOMETHING?" I mean seriously.
ISHK!
Apparently I have to have Monday in this place as well… whoo hoo,..
Note the sarcasm?
Yes?
Good.
Oooh! Visitors! Yay!
Someone other than a barmey woman who has spent entirely too much time in a hospital wing!
Oh, it's only Potter…
Oh well, better than no one aye?
I guess it kinda relates to that saying, 'better late than never' except it would be, 'better potter than no one'.
Ok brain, turn on now!
"Hey Lily, I just wanted to see how you're doing?"
Awww! What a charming boy.
Pity I'm still mad at him.
I roll over and pretend to go to sleep. It's the entirely mature and intelligent thing to do… better than trying to talk and solve the problem.
"Listen, Lily I- didn't mean what I said last night. I was, I was being stupid and every time I think back over what I said I want to hit myself and, and, and I'm really sorry."
He said it in the most angelic little baby boy voice I have ever heard. I think he's buttered me up.
I roll over.
BIG MISTAKE.
He's using the puppy-dog eyes. THAT'S NOT FAIR! What's a girl suppose to do when an entirely handsome, sexy guy who you're supposed to be angry at makes dog eyes.
DAMN HIM!
"It's okay"
Stupid traitor mouth…
Or is it traitor brain?
Was it the mouth that was in the wrong, or the brain?
Was it a zebra with black stripes and a white body or a zebra with white stripes and a black body?
If a tree falls over in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
I ask him.
He stares at me…
And stares…
And stares…
In fact he stares at me until this very day…
And then he laughs.
Now who's the psychopath?
Who?
Who?
Who?
OH YEAH! ITS NOT ME!
No need to ring Doc. Alex.
He's laughing so hard that the Madame comes over and claims that I need rest and in doing so shoo's Potter out the door and feeds me a sleeping draught…
GOOD NIGHT!
Hospital Wing – Monday Afternoon
So the vomiting has died off, or so the Madame believes. You see, I've been not telling her so that she'll let me go to dinner tonight. The good thing is that I think that I wont have to lie to her anymore, as I haven't projected chunks into the air in quite some time!
Be proud.
I still have a slight cold, and am wearing warmer clothes than is the norm.
But anyways, its 10 minutes until dinner and I have entered fierce battle with Madame Pomfrey.
All I'll have to do is pull the Lily charm and viola! I'll be free to go to dinner!
2 minutes later…
okay so it didn't work as well as I had hoped…
I wasn't 'free' to go to dinner, I had to come back afterwards and get another potion and come back to her anytime I felt ill, but other than that I could go…
YAY!
Off to dinner that started seven and a half minutes ago
EEP!
Am late!
A Lily is never late, she arrives precisely when she means to…
Wednesday afternoon – exploring Hogwarts Castle
Exploring.
Exploring is implies adventure, excitement, discovering new lands...
I am doing just one of the above three.
I am discovering new lands… if you call being lost in a MASSIVE never-ending castle discovering new lands.
Wait
Scratch that. I am not lost.
I am simply… observing the greater art outside my normal route in which daily life so dearly decides to take me.
Yes, that's right.
Hey look, there's a beautiful door down there. It's ripe with… beautifulness. Well it was a very nice looking door. It's only natural to wonder what lies beneath…
EEP! I walked in on a room full of students. Looks to be some kinds of meeting. How embarrassing. They're all looking at me. I tried playing a smile on my face.
"I was simply… observing the greater art outside my normal route in which daily life so dearly decides to take me and in doing so was lead here…"
"You got lost, didn't you Lils?"
I turned and glared at mister know it all Remus. Think you know everything huh buddy? Well I'll show you.
"No I did not."
He raised one eyebrow at me.
So you want to have an eyebrow raising competition with me, is that it? Well I have a friend who can do the Mexican hat dance with his eyebrows…
"I simply mistook the stair case, ended up in a beautiful corridor with fantastic art and decided to have a look around. And as an active member in the art industry I find great interest in studying art."
So there!
"So you know how to find your own way back?" Rosie spoke up with amusement evident in her voice.
"Even if I didn't, then I wouldn't want to go back with you and your boyfriend because knowing you two, you'd sneak into the nearest broom closet.
I was successfully awarded with the blushing of my two friends, and the sniggers of the rest of the people in the room who agreed with me that the two should just hurry up and start going out.
"Besides, I'm new, you're supposed to me nice to me."
Insert pout here.
"Anyways, what meeting is this?"
"The meeting that you have intruded on is the prefects meeting. This is our Head Girl, Anna Direz and our Head Boy, Dave Caulder."
I turned to the speaker. After all it's only polite to look at the person who is talking to you. My jaw dropped gob smacked wide open for the entire world to see my tonsils.
OH
MY
SWEET
MERLIN!
"Oh, close your gob you big idget." Said my BROTHER.
"Charlie? You're a prefect? Is Dumbledore smoking pot?"
I mean seriously, who in their right mind would make my brother, Lord of the Harmless Pranks, a prefect?
"That's not Charlie" a giggling blonde in Hufflepuff colours spoke up.
EXCUSE ME?
Do I look delusional?
After spending my ENTIRE life with identical twins I'm pretty sure that I can tell them apart.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Heh, he deserves to be yelled at.
"For that matter why didn't you tell Mother? You would have gotten out of one of her, 'you need to be better at school, you should be Head Boy or a prefect' speeches."
Yes, what a pointless way to be spending time, telling your children that they should be more academically responsible in a school full of… teachers and other people to do it for you.
ISH!
"Thanks, Lils, for blowing my cover." He turned to look at everyone. "You see, Teddy is indisposed of at the moment, and so in return for not telling mother about his position and hence forth in doing so sparing me from being alone in her stupid lectures, I fill in sometimes. You know what they say, two minds are greater than one."
HA!
Take that stupid blonde idiot. I am right!
I am also in shock. Seriously, my brother's are…
GENIUS'S!
If I had a twin that's what I would do.
Anyways, the Head Boy and Head Girl seem to be really laid back coz they don't care as long as the work is done right?
Shouldn't we go back to the fundamental problem here?
I am lost.
I have no idea what people talk about at prefects meetings
And I have no idea how to get back to the mainstream castle.
I open my mouth.
"Well Lily, you can just stay here till meeting ends, when I'm sure your brother or someone will show you back. After all, Remus and Rosie will be… busy."
HE WINKED AT ME!
HE WINKED AT ME!
HE WINKED AT ME!
Resident Head Boy and HOTTIE winked at ME!
Give me a moment to let my heart flutter…
Inset heart flutter here
He has emotional brow eyes, dark brown hair, toned muscles, though not as toned as SOME people, AKA Potter who dedicates his WHOLE life to quidditch.
Imagine living for one thing…
What a lonely existence you would have
I took a seat beside Rosie.
"Now that we've settled ourselves," Anna said with a glare in MY direction –
Excuse me, just because I am new to your maze of a school and got lost does NOT mean that you have the right to glare at me missy!
"We can continue. Next on the agenda" –
I love how they have an agenda. Makes them sounds like a high tech mission impossible team!
"We can talk about the Qudditch League."
OOOOH!
I am so glad that I stumbled upon this room. Insider information right from the source.
"When the schools arrive we will be holding a special feast in celebration."
"We've decided," Dave said, indicating Anna and himself, "That the Hufflepuffs will be working on creating a menu that will satisfy everyone's tastes. There will be low background music, so Ravenclaw's you will be in charge of finding suitable music. Remember this is not a dance. Now, when it comes to the day, we will need the hall cleaned first, so Slytherin's that's your job and for Merlin's sake, this is NOT a detention so just use your wands."
Mmmmm!
He has a yummy voice.
What?
Don't look at me like that.
A girl can dream…
Just not now. Pay attention.
Right.
"And Gryffindor's you will be in charge of decorations. All decisions must be run passed by Anna and myself first. Anything else Anna?"
"Have ideas by the next meeting in two weeks. Thank you very much. You may go."
EEP!
I'm so excited!
But first I must deal with that stupid brother.
I hit him.
"How dare you not tell me? What am I? A Petunia? A Will? And Charlie, not turning up and taking responsibility."
I hit him again.
"You must admit though, it was a genius plan."
I cracked a massive grin.
"It makes me want to have a twin to attend Transfiguration for me."
Insert Wishful sigh.
Dave, who Charlie was talking to before I interrupted – what can I say? I'm the annoying younger sister – nudged Charlie in the ribs.
"Oh right. Um, Lils I don't think that you've formally met Dave. Dave, formally meet my sister."
"Hi Lily, I've heard a lot about you from the twins."
He knows me!
"Oh, nothing bad I hope. Can I ask on behalf of the flower association, an escort for myself and Rose, of three big strong men?"
Charlie and Dave snorted, Remus sniggered and Rosie looked incredulous.
Why is she looking at me like that? She may not be that forward but I am so…
HMPH!
"The Flower Association?"
She raises her eyebrows at me.
I was under pressure okay?
Work with me peoples.
Besides, I used my Sherlock Holmes detective skills to determine that both our names came from that of flower's.
"And men? These… males hardly constitute as men!"
We giggled as three incredulous 'men' were left staring at us, following us to the door.
"Left or right?"
So we eventually made it back to the common room in tact, and I can now add Head Boy to my list of friends.
Transfiguration – One Week Later
Oh
My
Sweet
Merlin
no exclamation marks
I am going to officially go off and kill myself.
I'll jump off the astronomy tower, slit my wrists, swallow poison, go for a hike through the Forbidden Forrest on full moon, drown myself in a toilet, jump through a window, break my spine, kill my brain, eat my mother's cooking. Something. Anything.
Sure you may ask why.
WHY?
Why am I punished so badly? I must have pent up karma for setting innocent kittens on fire in a past life. Something like an extremity like that.
You see, McGonagall oh so kindly set us an assignment.
So what? You may ask yourself.
SO FREAKING WHAT?
Yes, it only constitutes as THIRTY PERCENT of your overall grade. Not to mention I don't understand what the Sweet Merlin the theory is…
The assignment is something like transfiguring a room – like a doll house room – from something or other or something.
I don't know.
All I understand is that we have to successfully transfigure the walls because, and I quote, 'if we don't practice it now, then the walls will sag to the ground if we try it on a live project later in life.'
Exactly.
WHAT THE HELL?
Who would think up such a completely random and… BIZARE – not to mention difficult and pointless – assignment.
So maybe McGonagall likes home decorating?
SO WHAT?
Why must she take it out on us, the low humble students who do nothing but their teachers bidding?
It's not fair I tell you!
Not fair!
Anyways, so we're sitting at dinner, and people are whispering about the teams that are going into the Quidditch League.
You see, when Potter and I went for our little expedition at the lake the other week and he told me about his meeting with Dumbledore, well apparently our grand Headmaster told all the captains that Hogwarts annual quidditch cup would be off because of the League.
So instead I have been getting up at 6 o'clock in the morning to train my ass off and I'm not going to get the satisfaction of beating the Slytherin's to pulp. Instead I have to be content with waiting to beat up mystery teams.
Brilliant, just brilliant.
At our last practice, Potter announced to us that over a series of four days – this week end and next week end – all teams will be holding matches against each other, in order to find Hogwarts ultimate quidditch player whom will represent Hogwarts.
Along with being Gryffindor's secret Chaser I was probably with out a doubt the only person at Hogwarts who has never officially played a game of quidditch.
Yes, way to get my nerves vacillating.
Anyways, I must head off now, I have to go and tutor the little terror.
Gabrielle is undoubtedly doing much better at charms; it's just that she's still a little head of horrors.
So, off to deal with the cretin from the Black Lagoon aka the wannabe Beauxbaton-ian
Ciao!
Sitting At Lake Edge – 5 am Saturday morning
OH
MY
SWEET
MERLIN
I think I'm going to be sick.
Not the sick where you throw up and go to the hospital wing get a potion and leave the next morning
But the sick where you're sent to St. Mungo's, tested over and over again, given multiple drugs, potions, draughts you name it, only to be left six feet below the ground enjoying eternal slumber and a coffin maker's finest work.
That sick.
You see today will become a cross roads in my life
I will either become:
Six feet under because I've died of embarrassment
Six feet under because all the other women at Hogwarts have some sense and know that playing sport with muscled testosterone driven baboons is lethal and I have no sense
Six feet under because I couldn't take the disappointed glances derived from other house member's.
As you can see, none of the above mentioned effects seem appealing.
So now, after not being able to sleep I think that I will go and drown myself in the lake, never having to live through the horrors that undoubtedly wait for me.
As I might not live past this day I want to take a moment to recognise all the people who are important in my life…
…
….
…..
well, that's a lot of people!
Kidding, as this will be my last account of my life I want to thank mother for raising me to be like I am – is that a good thing? – and thank my father for always being on my side.
To all my new friends I love you all, especially Rosie who can get way too hyper, Sara who can really dole it out when provoked, Sirius who's a great astronomer, Remus whose a great intellectual equal, Potter whose a great quidditch player.
Now, to Dan the man, you've hung by me through all of those summer's even though you spend more time with the monster's at school.
Monsters: it's been great having twin brother's like you.
Now that all that is said, all above mentioned people can have whatever stuff of mine they want, as long as I am assured a comfortable coffin.
So I'm off to the field for a last minute pep and tactics talk before breakfast and slaughter time.
Thanks for being great friends.
Ciao.
Lilieanne
A/N: no this is NOT over! Way more to come!
Review to discover what happens next!
Or too assist my quest for greater writing knowledge.
THANKS!
