A/n: hey gorgeous readers! I know, I know, long time no update! But here it is! The long awaited next chapter!!

Read and enjoy guys!


Last time on Positively Scandalous:

EEP! I walked in on a room full of students. Looks to be some kinds of meeting. How embarrassing. They're all looking at me. I tried playing a smile on my face.

"I was simply… observing the greater art outside my normal route in which daily life so dearly decides to take me and in doing so was lead here…"

"You got lost, didn't you Lils?"

I turned and glared at mister know it all Remus. Think you know everything huh buddy? Well I'll show you.

"No I did not."

He raised one eyebrow at me.

"We can talk about the Qudditch League."

"When the schools arrive we will be holding a special feast in celebration."

"We've decided," Dave said, indicating Anna and himself, "That the Hufflepuffs will be working on creating a menu that will satisfy everyone's tastes. There will be low background music, so Ravenclaw's you will be in charge of finding suitable music. Remember this is not a dance. Now, when it comes to the day, we will need the hall cleaned first, so Slytherin's that's your job and for Merlin's sake, this is NOT a detention so just use your wands."

"And Gryffindor's you will be in charge of decorations. All decisions must be run passed by Anna and myself first. Anything else Anna?"

You see today will become a cross roads in my life

I will either become:

a) Six feet under because I've died of embarrassment

b) Six feet under because all the other women at Hogwarts have some sense and know that playing sport with muscled testosterone driven baboons is lethal and I have no sense

c) Six feet under because I couldn't take the disappointed glances derived from other house member's.

So I'm off to the field for a last minute pep and tactics talk before breakfast and slaughter time.


Quidditch change rooms – 10 minutes before the game

OH

MY

SWEET

MERLIN!

Okay just breathe Lily, that's all you have to do. Breathe in and out. In and out.

SHIT!

I think I'm going to die. Who am I kidding I shouldn't have joined up for the team. I haven't ever played a full game oh quidditch before. When player's talk about their first games they never and I repeat NEVER talk about majora freak outs like the one I'm having at the moment.

Dear God, please let me live.

Dear Merlin, please let me live.

Dear anyone-else-who-may-be-watching-me-for-entertainment-purposes, please let me live...

Just think, who will entertain you if I am dead?

"Evans!"

"Yes?"

Times three.

Doesn't potter understand that when you're in the Gryffindor change rooms and you say Evans then you are going to get THREE replies?

Pfft!

Idiot!

"I meant Lily."

Oh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up. Dumb and Dumber laughed and went back to talking to Longbottom and Cameroll. James came over and sat next to me.

"Now, Lily, I don't want you to have all those bad thoughts about dieing going through your head."

Excuse me? Do I look suicidal? I don't think so… but then again I am going out to fly hundreds of feet above ground, while stupid boys bash balls at each other and me…

Right, I see what he means. Once again I enforce the 'honesty is the best policy' motto…

"I don't have death thoughts going through my head."

Deny it all the way.

HA!

Two people can play mind games Potter!

He gave me a look.

HE gave Me a look. I poked my tongue out at him.

"Okay so maybe, just maybe, the idea crossed my mind… once, or twice… or I'M GOING TO DIE!"

"Would I let you die?" he asked me. I give him a look. TAKE THAT POTTER!!! "I would never let you die because a) your brothers would kill me, and b) you are the prettiest girl on the quidditch team."

I glared at him. Thank you Mister Suave. You sure know how to make a girl feel loved.

"I am the ONLY girl on the quidditch team, on ANY quidditch team, EVERYWHERE."

"Maybe, but you are still the prettiest."

"You think I'm pretty?"

MWAHAHA! Put him on the spot! Take that Potter you monster-baboon-man!!!

"Yes."

He doesn't even hesitate. Wow, maybe he really does think I'm pretty.

"Well, you had better take a picture, it'll last longer than I will because I'm going to die, remember?"

Nice big smile. That's the way!

"Lily Evans! Do you have so little trust in your team mates as too really think your going to die?"

With this comment, he captured the attention of the whole team. I look at his face, to Sirius's, to my Brother's, to Longbottom's, to cameroll's and back to Potter's.

"Good point" I say. "Now I'm positive I'm going to die! Oh God, somewhere in heaven, why didn't you bless me with intelligence?"

I looked back at the boys, they're all pouting. Awww, I cannot resist. They all look so cute, hunky, muscled men. Mmmmm! Now I remember why I agreed to this stupid plot.

"Okay, okay, fine you win. I love you all, but if I die then I will personally make sure I never, I repeat, never talk to you or love any of you again."

Aw, big touchy-feely moment.

Say Fuji!!!

We are leaving now, to go out to adoring fans. Potter has to break up a fight between Cameroll and Sirius about whom I love more.

I will update after the game, when I'm still alive because my teammates have kept it that way.

Ciao!


Gryffindor Common Room

OH

MY

SWEET

GOD!!!

Yes, this calls for something slighter stronger than Merlin.

Today I have discovered that there really is a God.

Okay I'll give you a run down of what happened.

You see, in order to throw all the other teams, Potter, our great captain, has kept the identity of his new Chaser a secret. Unfortunately for me, that secret identity is me and as I am a Girl and most girls are smart enough to NOT play quidditch then seeing one play would be… somewhat revolutionary.

Babbling.

Anyways, we could hear our good commentator – Remus Lupin – choking. Obviously he just got wind of the new Gryffindor team player.

"Good Morning Hogwarts!" the stands cheered. "Today, we will embark on a journey. A journey that consists of courage, skill and determination."

Great; way to go Lupin. Why not add fiery dungeons and ravenous dementor's while you're at it? He sure knows how to make team players feel less nervous. I felt someone's hands massaging my shoulders through my quidditch armour, and looked into what I assume was supposed to be a comforting face. Upside down, Potter looked like a constipated pig.

I laughed.

"These games are not your ordinary entertainment. Instead, the player's will have to walk through fiery dungeons and battle ravenous Dementor's –"

Thanks so much Remus. Remind me to hit you.

"- to win the glory and fame, that is the prize. What is this prize, you may ask yourself? Why, it is only the chance to be discovered, to be offered a place among the sports top men –"

I couldn't help but growl when he said that. My team member's stared warily at me. MWAHAHAHA!!! Upset me and I will eat you!

"- but most important, is the fame that comes with winning the Inter-school Quidditch League."

The way he said it brought cheer's and wild screaming from the spectator's, all of whom were hanging onto his every word. While they were projecting their voice boxes into the air, I was being eaten by flobberworms squirming around in my stomach.

Oh

Sweet

Merlin!!

Never, I repeat, never, have I been this nervous before.

"-And now introducing our Hufflepuff team!"

He read out their last names, as screaming followed each word.

"-And their competitor's for the day, the Almighty GRRRRYYYYFFFFINDOORRRR!"

Thunder sounded as light stung our eye's as we ran from the change rooms out onto the pit.

"-Now, I'm sure you all want to know who their new mystery Chaser is. Introducing, the Captain Potter, Longbottom, Sirius, Evans, Evans, Cammeroll and Hogwarts own, LILY EVANS!!!! This has never happened before folks, half the team comprising of one family, let alone a girl. Let's give it up for the Pioneer of Female quidditch, a mentor in the history of the sport, one Liiiily Evans!"

More cheering.

American football players say that there's something special that happens the first time you run out onto the field to a roaring crowd. You forget you're nerves, as you look around and study the competition. Are they stronger than you? Faster or more skilled?

And it doesn't seem to matter. You've made it this far. You've made a second home out on the field, surrounded by your team who has become another family.

The ball – in our case balls – gets released and you're okay. It's just like at practice… but with more screaming and if you're a guy testosterone. I do not have the last thing because I am indeed a GIRL. And proud of it.

The game, while not being easy, wasn't very hard. Potter had been very exuberant at expressing his delight when he found out that my first game would be against the Hufflepuff's.

"Like strawberries and cream" he had said, while jumping up and down and hugging me. "You can chow it down in record time and it still leaves you satisfied."

And he was right. 30 minutes into the game and Gryffindor was up 60 – 10. Another thirty minutes and the score had doubled.

That's when it happened.

Cameroll had seen something shiny and gold. He started to dive, following the object of his desires. Dogger, a Hufflepuff chaser in possession of the quaffle at the time, dropped the ball in surprise, even though he was at the other end of the pitch.

I can honestly say that I have no idea what came over me. All I can do is claim temporary insanity. I flew vertically down after the red ball, which being heavier than the snitch was falling at a faster rate.

I let out a loud whistle in order to gain attention so that all the bludger's would not be aimed at Cameroll. I pushed my broom to go faster, at least Cameroll got to go down on an angle. Dodging one bludger I did not see the other until it hit me in the side.

Pain.

Lots and lots of pain.

Rather than letting the stupid cursed ball go, I held on to it. The force of being smashed in the ribs by bewitched… lead or metal or something hard drove me off course, as it would to any normal person. Breathing became harder and I hate to think about it but I would undoubtedly have to go to the hospital wing again. It wasn't like my bones were breakable or anything; it was just that I was put into situations that broke them for me.

Dogger and I were both coming in at the quaffle that at this point had reached the ground. It was like a game of chicken, see who would pull out first. He seemed determined to get it, and I could tell in his face that he was bracing for a crash. I blame this all on skill, and lapse of sanity, but at the last second I turned and released my captive bludger. It flew and clipped his broom. Not hurting him, just pushing him off course.

The whistle blew and all eyes flew to Cameroll to see him grinning manically and holding up the snitch. I screamed, and cheered and then felt pain.

Lots of pain.

I remembered the loveliness of the green grass that I was consequently barely two feet above. Mmm, I remember the springiness of it. I fell onto it.

I love grass, I love grass, I love lots of green grass.

Hands pulled me up and into an embrace.

"Don't you ever, EVER, do that again."

Wow! Why am I getting flashbacks?

He seems to be restricting what I can and can't do on the field. If a giant ogre weren't squishing me right now, I would stick my tongue out at him. Stupid Potter.

I was plucked from his arms, and swept into another bone crushing hug.

OW PEOPLE CANT YOU SEE THE BRUISES?

After being congratulated the team and I walked back to the locker room.

OH

MY

SWEET

MERLIN!!!

A very important stage in my life has just come, and passed.

I PLAYED MY FIRST GAME OF QUIDDITCH AND WON!!!

We will ignore for the moment that I have bruises the size of fricking Fiji – literally – on my side, but hey, it could be worse.

On the way to the change rooms someone grabbed the back of my robes

"Oh no you don't. Party in the Common Room."

Thanks Frank. I may be a quidditch player, but I am a FEMALE quidditch player. Meaning that I still care about what I look like, and turning up to a party that is 1/7 in my honour in a sweaty robe that stinks is so NOT happening.

I tell him this.

"Are you a quidditch player or a girl?" Sirius asks, who has joined Longbottom on his gallant quest of forcing me to make a public appearance while I look like a giant gorilla after a long fight with dinosaur's…

"Both, you Gorilla's. I am flying up to my room, and will come down when I am ready."

HMPH!

There was nothing interesting about my shower, or getting ready routine, other than the fact that every 10 minutes – exactly – someone would come up and smash on the door.

CANT YOU SEE I DON'T CARE? I'LL BE THERE WHEN IM THERE!

Sheesh!

Some people have NO manners what so ever. I mean, it kind of reminds me of Mother… the way she has to be on time for everything, and forces me to be on time too… so what if I like to sleep in? I NEED my beauty sleep…

Stupid mother.

NOTE: put silencing charm on door. Then loud banging will not wake you up, and if you combine it with a locking charm: voila no more early – 11:00 am – starts.

The party was loud. Very loud, in fact it was so loud that if it wasn't for the 14 different silencing charms protecting the room we would have been caught.

But alas, we had 14 different silencing charms so no, we did not get caught.

The party itself was so different from anything I had ever previously experienced. At Beauxbatons – Shudder – the girls – whores – would sit around talking about how perfect they were, compliment each other then turn around two seconds later and bitch about each other.

Like one giant catfight circle. A never ending plain of ferocious orange fights, bloody red of the fallen and the black haze of uncertainty…

Moving on.

The party.

I opened my door and the sudden increase in noise was definitely deafening.

Okay, now I am confused. How can INCREASEMENT of noise cause a disability where one can't HEAR? Man, people are weird…

I walked down the stairs, and I thought that I had made it down there without getting attention.

But noooooooooo, it is universally acknowledged that when one hopes for something with all of their being it is blatantly disregarded, and the laws of nature kick in. sure enough, for moi, the laws of nature include, if something can go wrong it will, and, Gravity always chooses the opportune time to strike.

In this situation we see option one fully at work.

"There she is!"

So much for secrecy.

Cheering. LOTS of cheering.

Cheering blushing…

LOTS of blushing.

Somehow kegs upon kegs of firewhiskey had been snuck into the tower, resulting in the er… exuberant behaviour of many students. I could not have been rewarded more when my butt-head brothers gave me a bottle each of vodka and tequila.

I think I love them!!!

Tables were laden with food, and a dance floor had been created. The floor even flashed different coloured lights. The girls dressed down, wearing nothing but the bare minimum, and the guys dressed to a) impress, and b) show off well-toned bodies…

Lets take a moment to acknowledge all the royal hotties in this room…

DROOL

Okay. Done.

"May I have this dance, milady?"

er… NO!

I want to drink my vooooddddddkkkkaaa!!!

"Sure"

Fake smile.

23.5 dances, 304 new bruises, 10 partner's, 1 267 compliments and 0 drops of vodka later….

"May I intervene?"

errrgh! Not another one!

I just want to take a break.

"Sure"

HE my partner said. Note: HE.

No, I did not have a choice in the matter. What do I look like? A piece of meat?

"Isn't that for the lady to decide?"

Oooh, isn't he the new comer just the little charmer.

Fake Smile

"Sure"

"You look truly… wow tonight."

What the? Hows that for a compliment?

I look up.

POTTER!

"Potter?"

cocky grin (on his behalf)

"What, can't I have a chance to dance with the subject of Hogwarts gossip?"

I DON'T WANT TO BE HOGWARTS GOSSIP!!!

"You really are amazing you know that? I don't know if I've ever seen a play done like that at our level before."

I presented a REAL smile.

"Thanks, Coach."

"Now there's that beautiful smile I've been looking for all night. All I see are the fake ones."

Do not poke tongue out.

Do not poke tongue out.

Poke tongue out.

"You would be fake smiling too if you'd danced 23.5 songs with 10 guys you don't know, been rewarded with 304 new bruises, been the poor recipient of 1 267 compliments and had nothing to drink"

"Well Miss Evans, I think a break is in order."

"Finally"

Potter and I sat with the rest of the team member's who weren't drunk and making a fool of themselves – everyone except my brother's – and he poured me a drink.

The pott-head and I got up and dance after a while, giggling and enjoying ourselves in the drunken state one achieves with much ease when attending a party held by the Marauder's.

One bottle of Vodka later…

"(oo) What you want
(oo) Baby, I got it
(oo) What you need
(oo) Do you know I got it?
(oo) All I'm askin'
(oo) Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit)
Hey baby (just a little bit) when you get home
(just a little bit) mister (just a little bit)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB"

I led half of Gryffindor in singing the immensely popular muggle song that had made its debut around the world, and into the wizarding world…

A hard feat to achieve with things that way they are…

"Oh, sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me
A little respect, sock it to me, sock it to me,
sock it to me, sock it to me"

Each 'Sock it to me' crumpled into a mass.

HEE HEE HEE!!!

Sockmetoit itmesock ittoundiesme

I AM NOW INVINCIBLE AND CAN NO LONGER BE AFFECTED BY THE EVIL AND DISASTROUS AFFECTS OF GRAVITY!!!

And with that proclamation to the people watching over me for the simple factor of entertainment I jumped off the table.

HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!

"Steady there Tiger"

Its Potty-Wee-Potter and he caught me

No ground for me today! No Sir-ree no ground at all! No one blasted in-

HE DROPPED ME! WHY HE'S GOING TO BE A DEAD MAN NOW

GR

"You dropped me. I didn't need steadying"

MWAHA! Two can play the stubborn game Monsieur De Loser.

"I'm sure."

You're sure?

You're sure?

YOU'RE SURE?

I'm sure that you're going to get your ass beaten in a drinking game.

The crowd 'OOOOOOH'ed at my courage. Apparently Mister I'm-so-great-the-world-falls-out-my-ass is the STAR drinker of Hogwarts.

Sirius tells me that he's versed all the teacher's – with the exception of a few (like McGonagall)- and that he's beaten them all, and that they all turn a blind eye.

WELL HE IS NO MATCH FOR ME!!!

Unfortunately though, said monster (Sirius) is here and will undoubtedly take the opportunity to inform THE ENTIRE WORLD of the illegal and embarrassing activities about the proceed in the drinking arena aka: Gryffindor Common Room.

Sirius just can't stay away from blackmail, especially when its dancing naked in front of his face. And this was dancing naked, swinging it's hips, yelling out 'Come get me Siri-boy' and holding a sign saying, 'Be Alert! Potential blackmail!'.

"If I win," Potter – as the challenged – says, "You have to do whatever I ask for three days. In return I have to do whatever you say for three days."

"Deal"

We shook hands. Mmmmm! He has soft hands.

You are so on! If I win, you have too do what ever I say for three entire days."

By this time of night the little tiny tots had gone to bed, leaving us older and for the most part – keyword MOST - sexy students to get up to our…fun without having to worry about tattle tails and 'setting a bad example.'

Okay hang on, I'll come back and update you in a moment once this contest is over and I have a slave boy!!!


cough

So Lily and James went off and had babies and lived Happily Every After!

Both male and female – although it may be complex to tell which is which – looked straight into the eyes of the other. "You are so on!"

94 shot glasses set on 3 tables lined against each other, 47 filled glasses on each side, every third glass being a combination of the two drinks, and a lot of cheering later…

"On your marks, get set.."

"GO!"

Some say that the first is the worst, others say the third. Some people even say that the thirtieth is the worst but 47 was just ridiculous.

Both team members were chugging through their drinks, both drunk to begin with. At number 37, J. Potter began to miss his mouth, preferring to feed the burning liquid to his nostrils, eyeballs and yes, his shirt. Due to the missing of the most vital body function in a drinking contest, Potter had to go back and redo 10 of his shots.

Lily on the other hand was a sight to behold. She seemed to sober with each class, her actions becoming more fixed and fast as she moved through the lines.

It was masterly….

Give me a second to sit and stare…

WHOA!

Just whoa!!!

Prongs mate; I'm going to have to disown you. You're being beaten by a girl! A girl!

Sobs

Lily is on fire!

And she… won?

Lily Evans, first female to ever play quidditch, won a drinking contest against THE James Potter who has never lost before?

Oh Merlin!

This is so….

AWESOME!!!

I AM GOING TO BLACK MAIL PRONGS 'TILL KINGDOM COME!!!

"Siri-poo why you writing in my dia – ooh pizza! Jamie you poo on toast give me the foood stuff."

Whoa, take that back, I'm going to black mail Lily too!!!

My name isn't black for nothing!

HEE HEE HEE!!!

Until later fair brothers and sisters of the Black conspiracy!


A/N soz homies!!! I have been so incredibly busy with work and school that I was about to die. Things are dieing down for a couple of days so I think its time to add this chap that ive had done for a long time!!!

Thanx for reading beautifuls!!! Plz leave a review if u so feel indulged!!!