Chapter 2 : This Person Is Definitely A Weirdo
It was breaktime. Tatsuki cracked her knuckles.
"Hime!!"
It's coming...
Yes! She knew it! It was the flying glomp this time. Of course, it would take a few seconds for Orihime herself to react to such an attack. But the trained fighter Tatsuki was, she could smell the reek of Chizuru's unabashed intentions of publicly groping Orihime a million miles away.
However, before she could land a kick anywhere on the perverted lesbian, another foot that wasn't hers came down on said lesbian's back. Effectively making the red-haired girl fall splat on the classroom floor.
Tatsuki blinked. What happened just then was supposed to be her trademark reaction...
Everyone in the class went silent. Orihime turned around in her seat.
The foot belonged to that good-looking foreigner otaku transfer student, whose name no one could remember.
"Chizuru-chan! And Ul--Ulquiorra-san!"
Yea, that was it.
"Was this human trying to attack you, Inoue Orihime?" He asked in that cool, unruffled voice, foot still bearing force on the bespectacled girl's back.
"Chizuru-chan? No, no, you're mistaken, Ulquiorra-san. She's a friend...she's just...ehehehehehe..." The orange-haired girl scratched her head and laughed helplessly. She should have to explain to him sometime that referring to people as "human" wasn't exactly proper etiquette...
The former Espada gave Orihime a searching look, as if trying to discern whether she was telling the truth. Then, slowly, the black-haired teen removed his foot and turned away from the trio.
"BWEH!" Chizuru let out a gasp for air on the floor. Everyone in the classroom shuddered and edged closer to the walls. So she wasn't breathing all that time the new kid was stepping on her?
"...scary person..."
"First day and hitting on Inoue already..."
"Weirdo."
As the orange-haired girl dropped down to see if her molestor was alright. Tatsuki watched as the transfer student, Ulk-something, strut out of the classroom as if nothing had happened.
Where had she...seen him before?
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It was as if by some unspoken consent, the surviving Espada gathered outside massive stone ruins that used to be the magnificent castle of Las Noches.
No one said a word. The six Espada, or rather, just normal (yet powerful) Arrancar by now, nodded curtly to each other. One by one with a dull hum, the white-clad hollows disappeared, possibly never to see each other again, until two are left.
Grimmjow turned to Ulquiorra.
"You can't be fucking serious."
When the other arrancar didn't answer, Grimmjow let out a howling laugh much reminiscent of the creature that was his masked form.
"Grimmjow Jaegerjaques..." After a few seconds in the racket, the black-haired former Espada Cuarta finally opened his mouth, "Shouldn't you be...going?"
"Right." Getting ahold of himself again, the blue haired arrancar turned his back, "One question though, smartass...Why?"
The boundless sand dunes of Hueco Mundo...the inverted moon in the perpetually starless night..
"This world is meaningless and so are we who live in it..."
"I forget you liked talking bullshit." commented Grimmjow. "So you reckon you'd find 'meaning' in that trash-filled world?"
"Aizen-sama never relieved me from the last task I was supposed to be carrying out." Ulquiorra answered in his quiet fashion.
"Aizen's dead." The half-jaw arrancar stated with more than a little glee.
"I respect his wishes. The final task has not been completed, it is meaningless for me to stay here."
"Bloody hell!" Cried the blue-haired arrancar, "You really are telling the truth! Aizen-sama's totally not a lame excuse! My jaw's going to drop off at the amazing effort you're making for him!"
"..."
Waving his hand dismissively, the hot-tempered arrancar walked away. "Spare me the details, I'd puke."
Pulling a hand out of his hakama, Ulquiorra did the gesture in mid-air to summon Garganta, the gates between the worlds.
"Farewell, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques."
"See you never, asshole."
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"Ichigo that bastard abandoned us!!!"
"Hai, hai."
"Just gone like that! And without a proper goodbye too! Did he ever see us as best friends??"
"He had his own agenda, you saw."
"So what if he's one of those people in the black robes? Shinigami? How will I live on without someone to try and physically harm in the morning?!"
"Aren't you the one who always gets injured...?"
"And why is Orihime-chan so friendly with that new guy?"
"Inoue's friendly with everyone."
"But why HIM? You heard his introduction, Mizuiro, he's an otaku! He might look all sane and stuff but who knows what kind of lecherous thoughts might be going through his mind when he's with her?"
"The same could be said about you regarding Inoue."
"...I'm hurt, Mizuiro."
"Hai, hai."
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Lunch time. Ishida Uryuu stared. Sado Yasutora stared.
Not to be outdone, Ulquiorra Schiffer crossed his arms and stared back, knowing he could be quite intimidating. On his lap was a curry bun neatly packed in clear plastic on top of a book whose title was obscured save for the words "Guide" and "Urahara".
Inoue Orihime was fighting hard the urge to faint dead away from the tension.
It was times like these that she wished Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san were here to lighten up the atmosphere with their trademark (?) bickering and all manners of breaking down barriers between people. But alas, she couldn't depend on them now...
"A--ano..." Tentatively, she began, "Ulquiorra-san can't come out of his gigai...so...can we eat now?"
Ishida pushed his glasses, "We can't be sure. Even though the war is over, Hollows are still our enemy, and always will be." Sado nodded in agreement.
"Do not be mistaken, Quincy." The Arrancar replied in his calm tone, "I am not here to fight, and I do not like to fight trash."
"You might want to evaluate your current situation before you open your mouth again, Arrancar." The Quincy retorted in equal coolness, "We destroy hollows. Shinigami are like charity workers compared to us."
"Don't say that, Ulquiorra-san saved my life...Well, Ishida-san too--" Orihime cut in, frantic. "I...I just want everyone to get along well, so...so that's why I asked Ulquiorra-san to come live in Karakura Town..."
The four slipped into awkward silence again. Orihime felt her cheeks burning. Tatsuki had told her before that men sometimes bark too much, but rarely bite. She hoped this was one of those situations.
Cheer up, Inoue Orihime! It's just Ulquiorra-san's first day at school, they'll have plenty of time to learn to get along, won't they?
Seeing that she was uncomfortable, Ulquiorra decided he would ignore the four-eyed Quincy for now, and turned his attention to the package on his lap.
So this is something humans eat...Using his superior Vasto Lorde intelligence, it took no more than 10 seconds to figure out that the tough outer layer was not to be devoured, but ripped open (like some hollows he had eaten before). An unfamiliar, but rather interesting scent wafted from the torn plastic.
He took a bite of the yellow-brown round thing.
"This is...different." He concluded.
"Ah--of course, Ulquiorra-san's never tried human food, have you?" Orihime was thankful for the change in subject, "We have a lot of ingredients! Mixing and matching them creates some really interesting flavours, like soy sauce on mashed potatoes mixed with garlic and..."
She did not notice that Ishida and Sado were starting to sweat waterfalls. Ulquiorra seemed to be listening attentatively to the girl's ramblings, which was quite worrying.
"I see..." The arrancar said after Orihime had done explaining the wonderful uses of paprika on dessert, "This is like Gillian class Menos, except softer and with less fluid."
"Ah! So Menos tastes like curry bun except harder and juicier! Understood!"
It was then that the two other, quite sane persons realised the conversation had slipped out of the human dimension.
tbc
A/N: I like writing stories with no plot, so sue me! -waves arms around frantically- Yea, we need Ulqui to get used to earth life before real romance can happen, ne?
