As always, thank you to charakids!
Chapter 11.
A clash of lightning woke Sarah up from a surprisingly deep sleep. She bolted straight up in the dark and looked around the room for any signs of danger. When nothing presented itself she closed her eyes and sighed deeply, falling backwards back down upon the pillow.
She listened as her heart slowed down in her chest at the sound of the raining pounding hard on the windows as the drops came between the rustling trees. The sound of thunder crashed loudly ahead and she felt it deep in her chest as it vibrated around her.
She turned over, ready to fall back asleep, opening her eyes just a slit to check on Chuck only to find his side of the bed empty. Once again bolting up Sarah pulled the blanket off her quickly, about to get out of bed and go in search of him, but stopped at the darkened shape that sat in the chair by the window staring out into the darkness beyond.
Sighing with relief Sarah pulled the blanket back over her cold legs as she watched him as best she could in the dark, trying to gauge if he was awake and if he was, what could possibly be going on in his head.
"It's so loud."His voice flittered softly to her, startling her. She didn't think he had noticed she was awake, but then again she had made quite a bit of noise, much to her embarrassment.
"What is?" She asked him, just as softly. Chuck turned his head then and Sarah wished that she could see his eyes. See what was running through his mind.
"The rain." He said simply, turning back to the window. "I never realized how loud it was before."
She watched him for a few moments, listening to the rain as well before the exhaustion she always seemed to be feeling all the time now set in again. She closed her eyes for a moment, almost falling asleep before popping them back open to pat the bed next to her.
"Chuck, come back to bed. It's late." She said to him.
Chuck sat there for a few more moments, causing Sarah to think he didn't hear her, but before she could repeat herself Chuck got up from the chair and walked in the dark back around the bed. Laying down as she felt the bed dip slightly as he got in it, she sighed contentedly and waited for him to settle.
They both lay in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Sarah turned her head towards Chuck, seeing him staring in a daze ahead and a smile graced her lips at remembering the other day with Ellie and how she could practically hear her thinking. It was the same now, as it always had been with Chuck. It was as if his mind was so busy, so loud that she could practically hear it working.
"You're thinking too loud." She said lightly, her smile getting bigger as Chuck turned his head to look back at her.
"I'm sorry." He told her frowning. Sarah's smile fell from her face and she reached over to his gently, her fingertips lightly brushing the sides of his face where smile lines had once been so prominent. Chuck closed his eyes and it gave her a moments reprieve to study him in the dark, to finally get to look at him up close and what she saw caused her heart to ache.
She sniffled softly, as her eyes burned for tears to fall and Chuck opened his eyes again to look at her. Her mind was telling her to turn away, to wipe the tears that would escape and to not let him see her like that but her heart made her stop and just keep her eyes on his, seeing the deep sadness that was etched into their deep brown depths.
No words were spoken between them as they lay in the darkness.
The next few days went on much of the same. Chuck had elected to stay inside his bedroom, mostly sitting in the chair by the window staring out at the trees and patches of sunlight. Sarah had done everything she could to coax him out but aside from meals and the bathroom Chuck chose to stay where he was.
Devon explained that it was probably the transition from total isolation in a closed off environment to an open one that is causing Chuck to nest in the new room. Since Devon wasn't too concerned about it, and Ellie didn't seem to be either Sarah tried not to let the situation get to her, though it was hard. As long as it was his choice Sarah didn't feel that concerned just yet about his hermit habit.
Though really, Sarah was at a loss on what to do. He was free now and to see him back in some sort of captivity even by his own hands broke her heart, but at the same time, Chuck was opening up more to her. He spoke to the others in the house, except Jill who she wasn't even sure if Chuck knew was there, but it was always from the doorway. He acted somewhat skittish when others entered so they respected his privacy and stayed at the door which was usually kept open. Sarah however would walk into the room and sit on the bed without any comment from anyone. Chuck seemed to have adapted quickly to sharing a room with her to which she was glad, not being sure if she would be able to separate herself from Chuck's side again.
"Want to go outside today?" Sarah asked him again. It was the same thing she asked him every morning after coming back in from her shower once breakfast was over with and the kitchen had been cleaned. She would tidy up their room, make the bed and then sit there watching him for several minutes until he acknowledged her. In the past he had always said no, but today he surprised her when he agreed to.
"Not too far though right?" He asked her, face full of worry. Sarah gave him a comforting smile as she nodded.
"How about just to sit on the front porch? See a new view of the outside, get some fresh air?" She suggested excitingly as she went to the closet and brought out a box that held some new black and white converse for Chuck. "I'll see if Ellie will make some hot chocolate for us and we can sit there for a bit."
The walk from the room to the porch was a little better than the walk from the padded cell he was in to the dinner table just a week ago. His legs were still weakened from lack of use but he was getting stronger much to Sarah's delight even though he was still skeleton thin despite Ellies cooking and constant snacks she brought to him. They passed the kitchen on the way out to the back porch where a cushioned bench was and asked Ellie for that hot chocolate Sarah had promised.
Sarah grabbed a blanket from the couch as they headed outside. She paused next to Chuck at the opened door as he stared off at the great world beyond. She never really gave much thought to how big the world really was, but seeing the fear and wonder on Chuck's face as he braced himself to venture out of the safety of the walls that surrounded him, she was forced to finally feel and see what it must be like for him.
"Come on, let's get settled." Pulling slightly on his hand, she pulled him over the threshold of the cabin. She could hear his breath coming out more ragged as panic began to settle in, but she ignored it as she sat down on the porch bench and waited for him to follow suit.
Blanket laying over the top of them, tucked in, with their arms and fingers entwined, Sarah lay her head gently on his thin pointy shoulder and closed her eyes, listening closely to Chuck's breathing in harmony to the sounds of birds, animals and the trees that surrounded them. She felt at peace and happy for the first time in a very long time, and slowly she fell asleep, warm and safe next to Chuck.
Footsteps approaching them caused Sarah to wake up with a start, sitting up quickly from her relaxed position next to Chuck. She felt Chuck shift and a bump of their heads as cold air rifled her hair and the right side of her face as the sudden loss of his body heat hit her. Looking up at him, she smiled at the left side of his hair sticking up and the bleary 'just woke up' look that also rested in his eyes indicating that he too had fallen asleep, using her head as a pillow with his arm around her waist holding her close.
"Hey guys." Jill's voice startled them. "It's nice to see you out and about Chuck." She told them.
Sarah felt Chuck tense beside her as he held her closer to his side. Looking up at Chuck, Sarah saw his eyes go wide and mouth agape as in fear as the bench was slightly pushed back and towards the wall of the cabin behind them hitting it hard. Sarah placed her hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze as she turned her eyes back on Jill, using all her will power not to glare at her for interrupting their nap, or for interrupting the two of them in general.
"What do you want Jill?" Sarah asked her venomously. Jill looked taken aback for a moment before schooling her own features to a coy fake smile.
"I was just coming up from the lake and saw you guys sitting here. You don't have to jump down my throat Sarah." She replied.
"Maybe if you didn't go sneaking up on sleeping people Jill." She bit back.
"What are you doing here Jill?" Chuck's voice asked softly, stopping Jill from spitting out whatever retort she had thought of. "You, you shouldn't be here. You'll get caught."
Jill's scowl turned into a real smile as she leaned against the banister across from them. "I came to save you of course." She teased. "You don't think I'd let you stay in a government facility for the rest of your life do you?"
Chuck however did not return her light hearted smile as he frowned at her with narrowed eyes. Sarah bit back another retort to tell her to go away, something she's been doing since they retrieved Chuck, and allow him the chance to tell her whatever it was that he wanted to say. Though by the look Chuck was giving Jill, Sarah could tell that the other woman was starting to upset him.
"Thank you for helping me Jill, but…you really shouldn't be here. You shouldn't be out in the open." He told her. Jill's brows furrowed at that.
"You're one to talk Chuck. You have a kill order out on you, I don't." She said.
Sarah's heart stopped. She hadn't heard that, nobody had told her though she was well aware the whole time of the possibility.
"Where did you get that information from?" Sarah asked alarm, the blanket falling from her as she sat further up causing her to shiver as the cool air hit her body.
"From Bryce of course. He called in not too long ago." Jill replied, but Sarah didn't have any time to process the news as Chuck immediately stood up and ran inside without a backwards glance. Standing up from the bench Sarah gave Jill one last glare who just shrugged before following Chuck into the house, seeing him dart to the kitchen and through the door.
"What's going on? Everything ok?" Devon asked her as she passed him. Sarah ignored him, following Chuck instead.
"Chuck! Wait!" She shouted after him trying to catch up. She followed him through the basement door and down the hall to his former padded room that he had opened and quickly shut before Sarah could get to it.
Sarah stood on the other side of the door for a moment or two waiting, though for what she wasn't quite sure. The news that there was a kill order on Chuck wasn't really as surprising as she felt. It was expected after all. If they couldn't keep the thing that held all their secrets secure then the next best thing would be to terminate it so that nobody could potentially get to those secrets.
"Chuck?" Sarah said loudly, knocking on the door, though she didn't expect any response. Hearing footsteps she turned to see Orion coming out of the command center and approaching her with a grim look on his face. "What's happening?" She asked him abruptly as he approached her.
"He's in there in the corner opposite the door. What is he doing down here Sarah?" He asked her concerned.
Sarah let out an annoyed sigh and covered her face for a moment before letting her hands drop back to her sides. "We were out on the porch and Jill came up and she oh so kindly informed us of the official kill order on Chuck." She ground out angrily.
Orion closed his eyes for a moment as he nodded his head understanding. "It was just this morning. We were going to tell you Sarah."
"Then why didn't you?" She growled. "It would have been nice to know before hand and not being told by that…that…woman."
"I know. You were with Chuck all morning that's why." He told her in a placating way, though Sarah didn't feel it. She felt angry, she felt annoyed. She wanted to smash Jill's face in for her lack of tact, and maybe punch in a wall while she was at it.
"You still watching the surveillance videos?" She asked him to which he nodded in reply. "Mind giving us some privacy?"
"Sure, I'll go get something to eat." With that he reached out and patted her shoulder gently before walking down the hallway to the staircase that would lead him to the kitchen.
Sarah stood where she was for a few moments just breathing. Exhaustion was setting in on her yet again and all she wanted to do was take another nap, preferably with Chuck once more but she had to deal with this first. She had to calm Chuck down. Dealing with emotions as wild as Chuck's were at the moment was something that she'd never had to do before and she was nervous about what to do, but taking one last breath Sarah steeled herself and pulled open the door.
Just as Orion had said he was, Chuck was sitting in the corner, opposite the door, curled up tight like he had been when he was first brought in. The room was silent except for the sounds of his breathing and Sarah hated herself for being so grateful that he at least wasn't in full meltdown mode.
Walking further into the room, she left the door opened as she stepped closer to the love of her life, stopping right in front of him for a few seconds before dropping down to her knees and reaching her hand out to him.
"Chuck, why are you back here?" she asked him patiently. Chuck lifted his face from his knees to look sadly over at her, staring between her outstretched hand and her eyes.
"Because, I feel safe here." He said simply. Sarah nodded and swallowed, understanding though not liking it. Here nobody can see him. Here nobody could find him. Here nobody could get to him.
"I don't want you to be down here Chuck." She told him. "I want you upstairs, and outside, with the living, with others."
Chuck shook his head, hiding his face back into his knees. "I can't." He said muffled.
Sarah scooted closer to him, and ran her hand down the back of his head and back several times in a soothing manner. They sat like that for several moments, the quiet surrounding them while Sarah continued her administrations to keep him calm until Chuck lifted his face again to look at Sarah, his sad eyes meeting hers.
"Chuck, you're safe here." She told him assuring, and Chuck broke eye contact.
"You say that, but I don't feel it Sarah." He told her honestly.
Sarah's jaw dropped a bit as she worked it to make a reply but nothing came out, not even a sound.
"I don't even really believe that I'm actually here." Chuck said sadly.
Once again, as it kept doing whenever anything Chuck was involved, Sarah's heart ached for him as tears welled up. "I don't understand." She admitted to him as he bit his lip.
"I don't believe any of this is real. It's all in my head." He said with a sad smile. "This has to be the most realistic it's ever been, but maybe…maybe this just means that I'm finally crazy. That my mind has finally given up and is gone."
Sarah shook her head vehemently, reaching out for him and wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders, afraid to let go of him. "No, no, no. This isn't a dream Chuck. This is real. I'm real." She cried into his ears, feeling Chuck wrap his own arms around her waist.
"Don't cry Sarah. It'll be ok. If it's real or not I'm glad I'm here with you. You're all I ever wished for in that empty room. And it's kind of my mind to give me this. To give me a chance to hold you again, to kiss you again." Sarah felt moisture on her shoulder as Chuck took a shuddering breath. "I just hope the real you will get some kind of closure as well."
Sarah couldn't take it, couldn't hear Chuck talking the way he was. Pulling back from him she took his face in both of her hands and forced him to look directly into her eyes. Moving her head closer, closing her eyes for a moment she placed a kiss upon his lips, the first kiss she had allowed herself to have since she first rescued him. She let it linger for several moments before pulling back from him, looking deeply into his moistened eyes.
"Chuck this is real. All of this. You aren't crazy. You aren't stuck in a dream." She cried out, begging him to believe her. "I'm here with you. You're here, Ellie, Morgan, Devon your dad we're all here. We're all real! You have to believe me Chuck." She pleaded desperately at him.
Giving her a sad smile, Chuck placed his hands on top of hers. "I don't believe it Sarah. I can't."
"Why not? Why can't you believe this is real?" She shouted at him, and Chuck just shook his head again. She held her breath as Chuck leaned in to her, placing his lips on her now initiating the kiss this time. She closed her eyes and gave it her all as her nerves prickled and came alive for the first time in a very long time.
Too soon though Chuck pulled back and it took Sarah a moment to gain her senses back enough to open her eyes, staring back at him and his still sad smile.
"That's why Sarah." He said softly. "If I believe it's real, I'll wake up from it and I don't want to. I can't. I want to stay here, with you forever. "
"You can Chuck, because this is real. We got you out, we detoxed you. This is really me sitting in front of you in this crazy padded cell. You are no longer a prisoner except in your own head." A sob escaped her and she leaned her forehead against his. "Please. Please Chuck; what will it take to make you believe?"
Moving closer to her right against her, Sarah held on to him for dear life, afraid that if she let go of him than perhaps he would be right and everything was a dream. But he brought his lips over to her left ear, Sarah shuddering at the feel of his warm breath against her skin.
"Only in time." He said in a hoarse whisper before placing a kiss upon her ear. She shuddered again as she felt him trail kisses across her jaw before capturing her lips once more. She moaned into his kiss, giving back as much as he gave as she felt herself fall back upon the mattress floor, feeling the wonderful comfort of Chuck's weight on her once again.
A/N: Hope you liked it. I'm working on wrapping the story up. Don't worry, still a few chapters to go but to be honest...I really want to start writing original fiction. I've had a dream to be a novelist since 2nd grade and I think its time I start to focus on that. However I don't believe in unfinished stories so I'm working on this first.
phnxgrl: Thank you for reviewing
zanex9: Thank you very much.
atcDave: Thank you!
sevenrez: Well, i wouldn't expect anything less from Sarah.
wilf21: Interesting though. I'm not sure how that would of gone. It would have depended on Ellies reactions towards him i would think.
supesfan18: I'm not exactly going that route I don't believe. But I have a few chapters left so we'll have to see how i feel.
uplink2: Thank you very much. They are a couple I am not embarrassed to say I have studied a great deal on.
