Seeing another Save point, Frisk nodded and leapt towards it, slapping it as though giving it a high five as she grinned over to Sans. Said skeleton gave a snort of laughter but still managed a thumbs up, looking very proud, because, yes, good child. Saving was very, very good. Especially with how dangerous things were starting to get now. It almost was like-

Uugghh. More steam vents. Frisk stopped in front of the vents, and looked up at Toriel and Sans. The two were already in a conversation about how to get across as safely as possible. And as boringly. And slowly. With a huff, Frisk was pressing the button, then hopping onto the first steam vent, quickly making her way around the vents. She gave a small grunt as she landed safely on the other side. Standing and brushing herself off, she looked to the other two, waving to them. "Come on! It's easy!"

"On our way, kid!" Sans called back, looking rather amused at how speedy she was. Really, she solved puzzles very quickly, it seemed. "Try not to wander too far!" Because who knew if there were any more Royal Guards lurking around. And if they were on orders to search for humans...

"Kay!" Frisk hopped off, happily humming to herself. She wasn't too far, after all. And it wasn't like anything bad was gonna happen.

"You there! Stop!" Two guards dressed in heavy armor moved towards her, the one with bunny ears on his head - strangely enough - speaking first. "Like, we have word that there's a human in this area."

"Oh. It's okay. My mommy and daddy are right over there." She pointed towards where Sans and Toriel were still trying to get across the steam vents, Toriel trying to keep her robe down.

"Oh, well, at least let us walk you back over there, or something. So that human doesn't get you, or anything." There was a nudge from the other, silent, guard, the first one suddenly drooping. "Oh...striped shirt... Aw man, bummer. You are the human- Well, that's a little embarrassing."

"I'm not a human. Promise." Josh sometimes lied, and those were good lies. Just like this. This was a good lie. Frisk held her pinkie out to them, blinking innocently. The guards shared a look, the first one looking to be hestianting, while the second shook his head.

"Sorry, little human, but we're kinda under orders here. Even if you are tiny."

"Why?" Here it was. Her strongest weapon.

"Oh, uh, well, see, we kinda are under orders to capture humans, and their souls, and stuff. We we kinda needed to fight you in order to get your soul, or at least weaken you and take you to Asgore, or something."

"But why?"

"Well, we sorta need your soul, to like, break the Barrier for monsterkind, and everything. Nothing personal, just something that needs doing."

"Why?" She glanced over to Toriel and Sans, the two having noticed the guards and trying to get over to Frisk a bit more quickly.

"Because seven souls are needed to break the Barrier - human souls. So King Asgore is totally gonna use souls /we/ do have, and, like, now yours, in order to break it. And then monsters will be free and everything."

"Why souls?"

"Because human souls are, like, SUPER strong! They're worth a bunch of monster souls, and it, like, takes seven human souls, and one super strong monster soul, to break the Barrier. With you, King Asgore will have us out of here in no time!"

"But why are they so strong?"

"DETERMINATION, of course! Monsters don't have it, but human souls are /full/ of the stuff! So with that, it can break the Barrier that humans put on us in the first place."

"Really? Your boyfriend looks really a-termined." The guard was suddenly blushing and making vague, random hand motions while muttering unintelligible words.

"Wha- No-! No! He's not my boyfriend! I mean, it's not like I'd hate it if he was- NO! WE'RE NOT DATING! AS MUCH AS I WISH- TINY HUMAN! STOP THIS!"

"I'm not doin' nothin'."

"STOP MAKING ME CONFESS MY LOVE FOR MY BRO!"

"'M not."

"..." The second guard was looking over to his friend rather blankly. Which made the first guard panic even more.

"N- No! Don't believe a word of it, bro! I mean, aha, humans can mind control and stuff! Captain Undyne said so! So-"

"-rry. Sorry, she's not really a human," Sans interrupted, smiling at the two pleasantly, Frisk already scooped up into his arms. "She looks like one, sure, but she's not. So all that stuff you said about confessing your undying attracting to your 'bro' was just you."

"...Number One?" Frisk looked to be trying to quiet her giggles at the chaos she'd caused. The guard sounded like he might have been crying, but made a curious noise anyways. "...Let's go grab some nice cream..."

"Re-Really?" The first guard looked like he had just been asked out on a date by his long time crush - which he just had. Sans was only burying his face in the back of Frisk's hair, trying to muffle his snickers. "I- I mean yeah! Yeah...I'd love that a lot, bro." Frisk only gave an approving nod, looking satisfied as she kissed Sans' cheek bone.

"Can we get ice cream, too?"

"Yes, I think there's a cart somewhere around here where we can get some," Sans grinned, pecking the girl back before shifting her so she was on his shoulders again, slipping away to catch back up with Toriel. "See what I mean about wandering off?"

"What? It's not like anything bad happened, or anything." Sans only gave her the best 'I'm older than you and I sometimes know what I'm talking about' stare he could. Frisk scrunched down a bit, looking guilty. "It...could have gone worser?"

"...True. I guess it could have gone worser. Still, it's good you're quick on your feet, otherwise they might have tried to steel you away." That got a small giggle out of the child, Frisk leaning up and poking at his nose. That earned a little scrunched up expression, Sans shifted to blow a puff of air in her face. Frisk wrinkled her nose, laughing as she wrapped her arms around Sans' neck and cuddled up to him.

"You're silly."

"Duh. Don't you know that the best people are?" Beaming, Sans headed back over to Toriel. "I have retrieved the tiny child. I guess we should be on guard more."

"I see that. Now you see why you shouldn't wander off?"

Frisk gave a nod. "Yes." Sans only glanced up at her, trying to hide a smile.

"You're probably gonna do it again, though, aren'tcha?"

"...No."

"Mhm. Come on, let's track down some nice cream for ya."

"Yes. Good Daddy." Whoops. Didn't mean to say that. And maybe she was hiding her face, a bit. Sans only took it in stride, smile widening a bit.

"Guess you could say I'm your bone daddy." Toriel swatted at his arm, raising an eyebrow at him. "I have at least five years until she gets that one and I had nothing else."

"Well, don't speed up the process. She already knows quite a bit from her older brother."

"Yes, dear."

::

"Ugh, another dark room. I suppose if someone had remained a scientist, they would have been able to turn the lights on themself."

"Oh, ha ha. You're so hilarious Alphys. Ya know what, I think you would enjoy puns. Make sure to remind me to tell you every single one I know when I get back there." Sans was petty. He gladly admitted this. Besides, Alphys had it coming.

"I could just let you three stumble around Hotland! You have no idea the amount of control I have at my fingertips." There was a long pause before Alphys was speaking, again. "Uh, I mean, uh, you would just do a lot better with my help! Heheh..."

"Uh-huh. Sure, Alphys." A flicker of lights and a...tv studio was lighting up? And oh...oh, no. "Nooo. Not the boring news one..." Damn his indulgence of his brother. "Alphys why."

"It's not like I made his personality! Plus, it sells! A girl needs to get money somehow!" Sans only whined loudly, looking horribly like he didn't want to be there.

"Aaalllpphhhyysss."

"Sans."

"Aaaand Mettaton! Hello, you lovely folks!" Sans groaned, Frisk giggling and waving at the television with a 'Hi, Pap-Pap!' "Good evening, folks, and welcome to MTT News! Your one need for all the new, and gossip, that goes on! Today we have special on-the-scene reports who will report down on the ground whatever they see!"

"Look," Sans called in a rather dead voice. "A rock."

"Dog." Frisk was staring intently at the nearby dog, panting away. "Dog. Dog- Pet the dog. Do it. Pet the dog."

"It seems our wonderful reports have found a dog to report on!" While Mettaton went on with the report of the day, Sans was only staring at the dog and slowly looking up to Frisk and...no...no, he wasn't that weak- Dammit, he was. Sighing, he walked over and set Frisk down so she could pet the dog. Which had a fuse on his tail.

Frisk stared at the fuse, for a moment. This seemed like a very serious situation that called for equally serious action. She looked up to Sans, and gave a slow nod. "This dog is the bomb." There was a startled snort of laughter from Sans, who tried to hide it.

"I guess you could say his career is on fire."

"I think it blows," Toriel put in, trying to hold back her own laughter.

"I guess you could say today's report is just ticking away."

"The results are going to explosive."

"Yeah! Yeah! And it's the bomb!"

There was a moment of silence, Sans grinning and hugging her close. "Guess you could say you blew that one." Although he gave the girl a tiny kiss on the cheek to show it was fine, because, yes. Adorable child.

"But wait! Not only is that dog a bomb! That glass of water is a bomb! That book is a bomb! Even my words are..." A pause, and there was the sound of explosions. Sans only rolled his eyes, looking near pained. This was just ridiculous.

"Alright, Alphys, I'm guessing you have a solution for bombs, then."

"Defuse all six of those in two minutes, and the big one in the middle won't go off."

"I'm guessing your genius intellect has come up with a way to defuse them in time, then?" And, really, Sans was proud of himself for not having near as much sarcasm in that sentence as there could have be. He still got a look and small flick from Toriel, but still.

"I would suggest running, skeleton." Sans only looked dead into the camera, slowly narrowing his eyes as they flashed blue.

"Or, you know, I could always just do this." A flick of energy, and his magic was wrapping around each and every bomb and stomping it in it's tracks. And then tossing them off the edge and into the lava below. "That's a thing that could be done, too."

There was a very long pause before Alphys was responding. "What the f-"

"Dr. Alphys! This is a family friendly show!" Mettaton scolded her through the phone, Frisk giving a tiny giggle. "I suppose since you took care of my bombs, I'll have to come up with something else! That's right, iiittt'sss QUIZ TIME!"

"Uugghh." Sans then blinked as he felt that he was pulled into a fight, the skeleton blinking up before narrowing his eyes. There was a snap of furious words in that language that only he seemed to know, Sans throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. "Fine! I don't even care, quiz me you hunk of metal!" A pause, and he really couldn't stop himself. "Although, I suppose Pap really does think you're a hunk."

"Ooh, and is this Pap cute? Right! Romance later, now it's quiz time~! When did Mettaton make their debut on game shows?" There was a length amount of silence, Sans suddenly looking like he'd be anywhere but there.

"Uh...wait, no, hold on, Pap is always ranting about this." Think, think, think... "Four years, seven months, two weeks, and four days ago. He has an anniversary calendar."

"Wrong, sweetie! Four years, seven months, two weeks and three days ago." The glare that Sans was giving probably should have killed the bot where he was floating.

"Next, who has the best legs in the Underground?" Sans only looked from Mettaton, to Toriel.

"Now, see, personally I would say Tori. But I know the right answer to this is 'Mettaton.'"

"Sans!" Toriel was blushing brightly, and covering Frisk's ears.

"Correct! And why don't we let everyone see them?" Mettaton reached to their backside, and seemed to flip a switch. With a dramatic reveal that stunned everyone, a gorgeous robot was landing on the ground and posing just as dramatically, winking at the camera. Sans only looked as if he couldn't care less.

"Yeah, yeah, seen it before, what's the next question, then." He did so love having knowledge of Resets, at times. It helped with ridiculous things like these.

"Alright, smarty pants, this one is just for you. Who is Sans the skeleton madly in love with?" There was a long moment of silence with Sans glaring at the robot with a look that promised his demise one day. With a horribly blushing face, he looked away as he pointed to Toriel. This only caused Toriel to blush more, trying to hide her face. "Correct, darling! Final question! What is Papyrus' phone number?"

Sans was easily reciting a string of numbers, pausing before he was frowning. "Wait..." Goddammit. "Alphys, I freaking hate you."

"I had nothing to do with this."

"Hate!"

"Yeah, I'm not fond of you, either."

"Yes, well, I'm sure your fondness lies with others," Sans mused, grinning amusedly. "So, is this camera still broadcasting? Because I think Undyne and Papyrus are at home watching. This very second." There was a quiet mumble of 'if I go down so do you.'

"Ooh, is that so? Alphys, darling? Anything you'd like to say? I know you and Undyne have plenty to say to each other." From the phone, it sounded like there was a squeak, and many things falling over and crashing to the ground.

"IT'S NOT LIKE I'M IN LOVE WITH HER!" A long silence, the phone disconnecting. Sans only beamed.

"Well, I think that went well."

As the camera turned off, Mettaton was turning to Sans. "So, this Papyrus wouldn't happen to be your brother, would he? Because if he was, I would happily give up any human hunting to get the address." A blue energy was wrapping around Mettaton before he was being flung off towards the direction of Alphys' lab, Sans huffing as he crossed his arms and sulked.

"I really hate that robot..." If he ever saw him near their house, he would be scrap metal.

"R- Right. We should be moving on." Toriel shuffled Sans off towards the next area, trying to not appear as flustered as she felt. Of course, that quickly failed when Frisk was speaking up innocently.

"When are you two getting married, then? Because if you're in love with each other, you should be married, right?"

"Fr- Frisk, things don't exactly... Marriage is very complicated, little one. For instance, sometimes you marry a man who treats you like a queen only to find out he's a miserable wretch." There was a pause, both Frisk and Sans staring at her with varying degrees of worry.

"So, that continuing on, thing, I'm very much for that. You know what's better? Pretending the last twenty minutes never happened." There was a pause, Sans snatching up Frisk and holding her close. "Ever again."

"Agreed."

Half an hour later, and Sans was ushering Frisk to use the Save point while Alphys talked to them over her recent calling. "Ugh, another dark room. I suppose if someone had remained a scientist, they would have been able to turn the lights on themself."

"...N...No..." There was a broken noise from Sans, who slowly fell to the floor and covered his head. "\No please not again."

Toriel paused, reaching down to pat his shoulder. "She didn't actually do it." Sans only looked to her with the pathetic hopefulness of a broken child. "I remember." Sans slowly nodded, pulling Frisk down into a hug and still not moving from the ground.

"Just...give me a minute." The terror.

Frisk kissed his cheek, looking vindicated. "Love you, Daddy."

"You are an evil child." A pause, and the kiss was returned. "Love you, too."

"But I'm yours, right?"

"Had to get your evil from somewhere, I suppose. Alright, let's keep going."

After all...the worst was behind them at this point...right?