Chapter 2: A Tense Car Ride
Mary looked at him, was it just the way the lighting hit that scarf of his, or was there more to him then what she saw? She shook her head, nodding once as she looked him over yet again. "Yes, I'm ready." She said softly, politely in the mannerisms of a queen. Her jeans were a dark navy colored and went well with the black and white blouse her mother had sent, upon her head, looking almost neatly like a crown of roses was the black and silver plated tiara she wore amidst her curls.
She adjusted the coat she wore, that stopped just below her knees and was a rick dark velvet type fabric, before looking towards him once more. Should she dare tell him there were no errands to run? Or perhaps they could run one errand amidst the day?
Was it wise for her to do such a thing? Given the standings she was in, here in France? She didn't want to think about that now, so she smiled once more.
She tentatively placed a hand upon his arm, nodding as she started to walk outside to where his car was parked. So much seemed to have happened from the moment he walked to her room, and yet here she was hoping that this false errand day wouldn't give her away.
His eyes flickered briefly to her hand on his arm. Was it just his wishful thinking, or was she really touching on him more often than what she usually did? Not that they'd never touched each other before, and there were occasions in which she did regard him like that and at times more often than not, but - didn't she have errands? And he was her security detail. Despite how long they'd known each other, it didn't settle right with him to be regarded by her with such friendly familiarity - though Bash truly did long for it. Had it not been for the fact that he had met Mary when he was sixteen, before having her placed in his care, before...everything, he'd have even gone so far as to have insisted she call him not Bash, but Sebastian instead.
Now, though, he was glad she didn't - he was certain his full name on Mary's lips would prove to be absolutely sinful.
Furthermore, her hand had been on his arm for at least twenty seconds already, and he'd yet to remove it. Was it because he was planning on finally asking her out today? The reminder suddenly made him nervous again and he felt himself tense as his mind began stammering, stuttering, and short circuiting. Man, come on, he definitely didn't feel the heat of her hand through his warm as shit suede coat. Fuck, was he really this aware of her? Would he be able to do his job properly like this? Should he ask her out now -?
Stop it. Focus. Don't tense. You've got a job to do. Don't let irrelevant things get under your skin.
His head cleared, and the tension in his body rolled away as if it had never even been there. He reached a glove hand out to place over her own and remove her scorching touch - but found that he couldn't do it so soon. It hovered above her own, until they reached the black Nissan Altima. He stepped out of her hold wordlessly, gently removing her hand from his arm and holding on to it a fraction longer than necessary. He went to the back passenger door and opened it for her - it went against code for her to sit beside him up front during an assignment - and waited.
Mary watched as he opened the back passenger door, a small frown crossing her features. "Do you think, perhaps I could sit up front with you?" She asked, standing there and waiting for his response as she folded her arms in front of her. While she knew that he assumed this was his normal guard detail, she had felt different about getting out today. She watched him, the small frown still evident upon her face as she tilted her head, a few curls of hair falling over her shoulder ever so slightly.
One hand moved to start closing the door, as she waited to see how he would react to it all. She didn't feel like sitting in the back today, not much of that at least. And she hadn't even told him the reason for their adventure out today.
Her body had been acutely aware of his in that instant, and she found the flush forming upon her cheeks almost instantly. Slowly she turned her gaze away, waiting to see if he would object to her sitting in the front with him. She wanted a few moments to compose herself, and suddenly found herself wishing they were away from the grounds already. She felt the need for space from her duties quite heavily right now, and spending time with him was more than a perfect distraction.Come on now, he isn't a mere distraction. Admit it to yourself Mary...there is more in this trip than even he knows. She shook the thought from her mind, lifting her gaze to look back up at him once more.
Bash watched silently as she stepped into him. He felt the door sliding in his hand as the young Queen tried to shut it. Applying only the slightest bit of pressure, he resisted against her motions, always no nonsense.
He could feel the heat of her skin as her hand rested so near his own. Their skin touched barely; a small contact of her finger tips against his palm, but to Bash it were as if his whole entire being was made warm.
Originally, it was his plan to refute her, but the sudden heat in her cheeks - almost not perceptible (but he had very well trained eyes) - gave him pause. He watched Mary look away from him a moment, and then at the way her lashes fluttered and her gaze returned to his own.
It was a curious thing, the way she was staring at him. He would never admit it, even to himself, but in that moment, his guard left him completely, and man - what had they been talking about?
Bash found himself lazily roaming over her facial features - his eyes flickered up to the crown in her hair, then slid down her ebony curls before gliding back to her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, and her nose. His eyes settled to her lips and lingered, snapping to her eyes again before alternating between the two delicate features.
Even gazing at her, he knew that she was a perfect fit for him. How easy it would be to reach out and cup her face fully between the palms of his hands, then capture her lips with his own. Her body was molded to fit his, intended to be encompassed entirely by his own being. Bash felt so certain, and yet...
Still, man. She was beautiful.
And anxious,Bash realized as he inspected her more closely. He forced him face to remain impassive and fought his urge to frown. He scrunched his brows together as he scrutinized her. She seemed anxious about something, and though he didn't know what it was, it most certainly explained the way she'd been reacting around him.
Though he were on duty, though there were codes, he really wouldn't refute her in her troubled state. Even if having her sit beside him only made things harder on him. Still, he'd stay resolute, only willing to relent should she not.
"That's not standard protocol, Your Grace," he told her softly.
Mary shook her head, looking into his eyes directly. "I want to sit in the front, Sebastian." She said, using his full name as she moved to attempt and close the door once more. She didn't want him to treat her like a duty right now, no she wanted him to see her as equal at the present sense.
She added a bit more pressure to the door, slipping her hand on top of his as she looked at him. "I insist upon it." She said, knowing that she had never used his full name that often, and for some reason she was even more aware of him in this moment.
It was as if everything was heightened at the moment, and right now she wondered what it would feel like to have his arms around her. Would his embrace be warm? Would he let her go if she tried to move away, not that she would though. She felt everything as if it were heating up more and more, and she suddenly found her own cheeks heating up a tad bit darker in coloring. She wanted to ride in the front, be as close to him as possible.
But no, he seemed so stuck on duty and protocol, and she knew that things would either go her way or his own, and she hoped that it would be her way they went. The fact that he was so dedicated to her safety, that spoke volumes to her, and she found it a very attractive quality in him.
Bash was right. His name sounded so sinfully right when she said it.
He was growing warm, the stubborn streak he found so infuriating and endearing at the same time, rearing its head, and despite his already made up mind to allow her to sit in the front, there was a darker part of his mind that wanted to take her challenge; would she still resist if he did everything he's been longing to do since they started this tug of war?
Her hand was on his, and Bash swallowed hard. She was - touching him way more than needed, way more than what was comfortable. Way more than what was necessary to establish friendly familiarity and the unspoken hypothetical could never be so wrong. There was no way that she, for him. He could list ten reasons. He would only need one.
These revelations didn't stop his eyes from following the dark color of her cheeks, or prevent his eyes from darkening in desire - or anger, one could only know, and - he prayed she thought the latter.
Like he knew, there was only one reason he needed, a reason he would regret saying out loud but knew he needed to hear.
"For someone intended to be wed after graduation, you're very comfortable sharing the heat of your skin with those not meant to be your husband."
But his hand fell away from the door in concession, hers falling with his until he pulled his own to his side. He turned and went to the driver's side, trying to control his feelings, and a little irate that she could stir him up so terribly and so innocently.
He regretted how the words were said, as soon as he said them. Yet, he needed to establish control in their situation, lest he make more enemies than he really cared to, and did something he knew she wouldn't forgive him for, and as of that moment - he had no control at all.
He was crossing boundaries - outside of his own mind, and right now, as her security, that was a great error. A liability. A threat. Her standing so near him, the greatest threat to her safety was himself.
He'd properly apologize when they were both seated. She also needed to realize how misleading her actions could be. He unlocked the door and slid effortlessly in his seat, then waited for her to slide in the passenger door.
The words he said were harsh, and somewhat bit into her as she opened the passenger door and slid into the seat. She pulled the seatbelt on, buckling it as she stared out the windshield trying to regain her own composure.
"You're right, in a sense...but the words didn't need to be so harsh." She said simply, trying to bite back any sadness within her tone.
Mary composed herself, knowing her own voice gave way to the sadness that his words had given her. There was no way he would have thought of her in such a manner, lest she thought so now anymore. She kept her eyes on the windshield, knowing she hadn't told him where she wished to go. Did that even matter anymore? She folded her hands neatly in her lap, doing her best to find something to say to him.
It was a strange sensation coursing through her, while she was betrothed to Francis, she couldn't shake the feelings that stirred within her whenever Bash was near, whenever her flesh touched his for whatever small amount of time it was.
Sinful and stolen moments, would that be all she was able to get?
It didn't matter, she wouldn't regret what she was about to say next. She couldn't regret the way she felt, nor would she. Not at a time like this, she could call off her engagement, it was her choice. Though she knew her mother would oppose to such a thing, but she couldn't shake the feelings she had. Now was the time to let him know, perhaps those feelings weren't one-sided as she always thought them to be.
"Sebastian...Bash...whatever do I call you? I don't know, but I do know that despite my engagement to Francis...well one can't help how they feel." She started out, keeping her gaze focused on the windshield in front of her. Her hands gripping at the fabric of her coat so tight that her knuckles were going white, the tendons and muscles visible through the flesh of her hands.
She took a breath, feeling her cheeks heat up yet again despite the words of harshness he had spoken to her. "I know that telling you this, may forever impact the way things are...but I can't hide it any longer." She said, pausing only to catch her breath as she felt her own heart rate increase.
"I feel something for you, something that I don't know if it's wrong...or if it could start something between us that could make things a thousand times different." She explained, keeping her gaze out the windshield as she stopped for now, not sure what else she could possibly say that would make sense to him right now.
Bash, who had moved to start the engine, paused in his ministrations, as still as the beat of his heart. He possibly heard wrong, but it sounded as if Mary confessed feelings of attraction towards him. He probably heard wrong, implementing wishful thinking that couldn't possibly be realized. But the more she rambled, the more alarmed he became. Quite frankly, he couldn't quite grasp what she was saying. It was as if in the moment that she finished, his brain short circuited completely.
He didn't look at her, couldn't look at her. His mind was replaying all she said, but it had yet to formulate anything concrete. He was certain that his mind had never processed anything so slow before. He wasn't sure what to say or do. His body was tense, his nerve endings lit with fire.
So he focused on what he knew he could in that moment: his job. Trying carefully to reconstruct his mask of professionalism, he forced his hand to move as he turned the key in the ignition.
"Where am I taking you, Your Grace?" He placed both hands on the steering wheel - and gripped the life out of it. His jaw worked as he stared ahead, desperately trying to sort out exactly what was happening.
Mary had never been so confused in her life, perhaps she had worded it all wrong. Perhaps she should just leave the car and run back to her room to sulk about it all? She shook her head, her knuckles still gripped so tight they were white.
"The mall..." She said simply, hiding any tone of sadness or hurt from her voice. She had thought she had confessed it properly, but perhaps she had been lacking in her skills of it. She wasn't sure of anything anymore, but right now she wasn't sure what to think of it all.
Part of her wanted to scream at him, tell him that she meant every word of it. But then again, it wasn't her place to yell at him for not obliging her words or feelings. She shook the thoughts away, doing her best to try not to cry at the present moment. She didn't know what to think about it, and she wasn't sure if he was just trying to figure it out on his own. She hoped that soon enough he would find the words to say, perhaps even acknowledge it back.
Her body was tense in the seat, knuckles still white and rigid as they gripped her coat and left wrinkles in it. She didn't know how long she could keep her own emotions in check, or if she would fail to keep them in check at all. She turned her head to the passenger side window, letting her hair fall into her face and shield it from his view as she felt the singular tear roll down her cheek.
Foolish. That was the only thought now running through her mind.
