"You're like a mirror, reflecting me. Takes one to know one, so take it from me. […] We've been lonely. We've been lonely, too long."

- Dust to Dust by The Civil Wars


Three years ago...

Carmilla scratched her head as she flipped through a book about transfiguration which she found in the Hogwarts library. She had been looking for ways to become an animagus but was coming up with nothing. She sighed and closed the book, deciding to just head back to her dorm when she heard growling coming from behind her. The hair at the back of Carmilla's neck stood up and slowly turned around.

She found herself face-to-face with a cheetah, growling at her face. Carmilla didn't understand how a cheetah could've entered the library without anybody noticing. She tried to move as slowly as possible, her left hand closed around her wand and was prepared to draw it when the cheetah made a sound that was suspiciously like a laugh. Then before her eyes, the cheetah reared back, shrinking and morphing until in its place was none other than Headmistress Matska Belmonde.

Carmilla breathed out a sigh of relief. "Mattie, how the frilly hell did you do that? You're an animagus?"

Mattie simply smirked at her niece. "Of course, love." She glanced at the book Carmilla was reading. "And I see you're trying to figure out how to be one."

Carmilla scratched her head. "Look, Mattie. Mother's been very stressful lately and Lex suggested that we needed a way to get around as fast as possible."

Mattie tutted. "Well, seeing as to how I'm one, how about I teach you how to become an animagus as well?"

Carmilla's eyes lit up. "Really? You'll teach us?"

Mattie blinked. "Oh you mean including your cousins?" she clarified. Carmilla nodded. Mattie sighed and shook her head. "Very well. I'll teach your cousins as well."

Carmilla grinned and hugged her aunt. "Mattie, you're the absolute best."

Mattie hugged back. "Tell me something I don't know."

==xx==

Present…

Carmilla scowled as Aulus led her towards the Forbidden forest.

"Alright, Karnstein. You take the left side. I'll take the right. If you're in trouble send up a red flare," the groundskeeper said. His cat, Mrs. Umbridge hissed and Aulus raised his lantern higher and pointed a crooked finger at Carmilla who did everything in her power to stop her face from contorting in disgust. "Now, no funny business or I'll leave you out here on your own."

Carmilla rolled her eyes. "I'll hold my breath."

Aulus huffed and he turned around, his brown overcoat flaring up as he did so. Once he was far enough, Carmilla closed her eyes and felt her body morphing. When she opened her eyes, she could feel her pupils dilating, adjusting to the lack of light much better than her human eyes did.

She stretched, back bones cracking as she did. Carmilla relished the feeling of the ground beneath her paws.

When she found out that her animagus form was a panther she was delighted. She always admired panthers. They were black as the pit and terrible as the demon, or so they say.

Carmilla growled and ran towards the left of the forest. She padded around slowly. She knew that their Care of Magical Creatures professor kept hippogriffs, among others in the Dark Forest. The other things, being creatures that could maul her to death if she was a simple sixteen-year-old girl which she, fortunately, is not.

That may be so, it didn't stop the pseudo-patrol from being tedious. There was nothing interesting besides the occasional thestral, or some other magical being. Carmilla couldn't help but feel her heart sink every time she'd see a thestral.

Ell, her mind would whisper. Carmilla didn't tell Will what happened but Lex and Mattie knew. Lex heard the screams and Mattie, well, Mattie was there. She held Carmilla back as her mother did what she "had to do". It was terrible but Carmilla learned from it, for better or for worse. Okay, so maybe she slipped the previous year but she rectified herself. Sort of.

A wolf's howl broke Carmilla out of her musings. Carmilla stopped and growled. Her body tensed and her paws curled into the earth. Her ears twitched, trying to figure out where the sound came from. The howl was familiar but that didn't stop Carmilla from being suspicious. The sound of padded footsteps approaching caught her attention and she whirled around. A twig cracked and a few birds scattered. Carmilla growled again and the footsteps stopped. After a few tense seconds, the footsteps resumed and a wolf stepped into view. The wolf was larger than normal, around as big as Carmilla's panther-form, and walked with a slight limp. It had gray fur and its eyes were a familiar shade of green. Carmilla scoffed and started to turn back to human, her clothes melting back as she did.

"Isn't it past curfew?" she asked.

The wolf shook its head and started to shift and turn back to none other than Lex Ivers.

"Seventh years have Saturday-duty, remember?" she said.

"Right," Carmilla replied, scoffing as she did making Lex frown.

"What's with you?" she asked.

Carmilla shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just tired. And you recovered faster than I expected."

Lex shook her head. "Nice deflection. We'll talk more when we get back to the dorm. Let's go, Carm." She turned around and Carmilla followed. She couldn't help but sigh after remembering the things Mattie told her. She honestly doubted that they would talk when they returned to their dormitory.

They didn't talk. Two weeks have passed and things were starting to get weird between Carmilla and Lex. Yes, fine. Maybe Carmilla was primarily the one responsible and Lex was just acting accordingly. She was nothing but respectful after all. Carmilla scowled. Today was the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor match and it seemed as if their captains were having a competition to see who could have the more obnoxious speech during breakfast.

Carmilla glanced at Laura who had a very amused but at the same time, a very embarrassed smile on her face. Two Hufflepuffs were seated next to her, to show their support, it seemed. They, along with Xena and the oversized man-child, seemed to have a very close group. One Carmilla thought she had with her cousins. She looked over to where Lex was sitting, at the end of the Slytherin table closest to the door. She was staring adamantly at her food, not bothering to talk to anybody. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team started shuffle out of the Great Hall, followed closely by the Ravenclaw one. That was probably their cue to start heading to the stands.

==xx==

"All right guys, a source told me that Martin's feeling especially cocky today and he might even show-off a bit," Danny started. "That means he'll be a tad bit careless so beaters, watch him and get him as soon as he makes a mistake."

Kirsch and Esthappen Beckett, a tall dark-skinned boy with a buzz cut, nodded when Danny pointed at them.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team was having a meeting in a tent just outside the Quidditch field. Their game was going to start soon but Danny wanted to run through some last minute strategies.

"Mel, Laura, and Jess," Laura sat up straighter. She heard Mel scoff somewhere to her left. "Have you guys mastered our Porskoff Ploy variation?" Mel rolled her eyes and Danny took that as a yes. "Don't use it unless absolutely necessary. Ravenclaw's a little too confident today so if we play our cards right, we can keep that a secret until our match with Slytherin.

"Do you really think Ivers is in the right mind?" Mel asked. "From what I've heard, she's been pushing her team a little too hard. By the time we have to face them, they'll be so worn-out. And don't get me started on Eisen's suspension and Karnstein's... mishaps."

Laura felt her insides grow cold. What did Carmilla's sudden parade of study buddies have to do with anything? She noticed that Danny was glaring hard at Mel. Laura knew that even if Danny wouldn't admit it out loud, she considered Lex a friend so hearing Mel say all those things must have really ticked her off.

"Don't underestimate Slytherin, Mel. They might have a lot more tricks up their sleeve than we think."

Mel stood up and stepped towards Danny. "Yeah? And you'd know that, seeing as to how you're suddenly all buddy-buddy with their captain."

The whole tent suddenly felt very tense.

Kirsch and Beckett immediately started inspecting their bats. Their seeker, Elsie Haight, adjusted her gloves. Laura tried not to stare but it was hard after catching her and Carmilla in a very compromising position. Laura tried not to take that too personally. She and Carmilla were no longer dating so she didn't have the right to be jealous so why was she?

The sound of a horn blaring cleared up the tension in the tent.

"Alright, let's go!" Danny said. She clapped her hands twice before getting up. Everyone else followed suit.

Ravenclaw was playing a lot more aggressively than normal that was for sure. They had a strategy Laura couldn't quite pinpoint. She ducked to avoid a Ravenclaw chaser who was trying to steal the quaffle from her. She could feel Adam getting ready to dive-bomb her but a bludger was sent his way courtesy of Kirsch who gave Laura a thumbs up.

SShe threw the quaffle towards right-most goal. The keeper moved to intercept it but Mel swooped up and punched it through.

The crowd cheered and Mel gave her a high-five.

"Not bad, Hollis!" She yelled. Laura gave her a curt nod.

"Clara has it! You or me?" she asked.

"You're faster! Go!"

Laura nodded again and flew after Clara. Clara slammed into her and she slammed back, wincing as she did. She was never really one for violent play but sometimes, she had to if she wanted their house to win.

Clara grimaced and dropped the quaffle into the waiting hands of Adam Martin who pulled up and tossed the ball up to their third chaser who hit it with his broom sending it to the middle hoop while Danny lunged for the rightmost.

Danny swore and Laura couldn't help but do so as well. The match had been going on for a while and Ravenclaw's new seeker, Killian Morgenstern, was doing a good job of keeping Elsie from getting the snitch. If he catches the snitch, their houses would tie and they'd have to do a shoot-out. Danny was exhausted and Laura didn't think she'd last in the shoot-out.

Killian was already chasing the snitch. His broom was the same as Carmilla's not that she cared. It was just something she noticed. Really.

==xx==

Carmilla grimaced. She and Lex decided to bet on who would win. Naturally, Carmilla bet on Gryffindor. Will was more focused on counting Theo's successful hits. Carmilla knew that Lex was itching to lift the suspension given Theo's performance. He definitely had a lot of good hits, foiling a lot of Gryffindor's ploys.

Ravenclaw may have been behind in terms of scoring, but Carmilla could tell that it was on purpose. They've mostly been exhausting Danny for the first part of the game so they were gunning for a shoot-out.

Killian was close to the snitch already. Carmilla couldn't help but feel nervous. She started to (vaguely) remember Killian. They used to play Quidditch when he and the children of his mother's other associates would come over for one reason or another. Laura had the quaffle and Adam was on one side while the third Ravenclaw chaser was on the other. Kirsch managed to get the third one out of the way with a good hit to a bludger. Adam, however, was still on the path trying to veer Laura off-course.

Carmilla was gripping her wand tightly, ready to do something in case he tries something. Instead, she glanced at her cousin whose jaw was clenched so tightly, Carmilla could see a muscle twitching.

Suddenly there a cheer came from Gryffindor followed by confused murmurs from Ravenclaw. Killian had caught the snitch but Gryffindor was in the lead.

By ten points.

Shortly before Killian caught the snitch, Laura shoved Adam aside and threw the quaffle at the middle hoop. Kirsch swung a bludger towards the keeper who was forced to avoid it instead of catching the quaffle.

The Gryffindor team alighted and lifted Laura up on their shoulders. Carmilla smirked and held a hand out to Lex. "Five galleons. Pay up, cuz." Lex scowled but handed them to her, anyway.

Will stood up. "Come on, guys. Brady told me that Hufflepuff's throwing a party later to celebrate the end of the first round."

Carmilla stretched. "Where?"

Will frowned. "Their common room, I think."

Lex raised an eyebrow but said nothing. She nodded and stood up. "Okay. But we have Quidditch practice on Monday evening."

Will frowned. "Do I still have to go? I mean, I'm suspended and all," he said as they walked down the stands.

Lex sighed. "I have to lift it. Given how Straka and Kirsch were performing earlier. I'm going to need you."

Will fist-pumped and Carmilla's eyebrows shot up.

"Good for you, Willy-boy," Carmilla said. Will grinned.

Carmilla could hear the Gryffindor team chanting "Hollis! Hollis!" She was tempted to go to them and show her support or something.

(Whatever. It's stupid.)

She shook her head and followed her cousins.

==xx==

Hufflepuff really did know how to throw a party. It was fun seeing Kirsch getting drenched by the barrels after he tapped the wrong pattern. Laura giggled as Kirsch spluttered and tried to wipe himself. Danny rolled her eyes and pushed him aside, tapping the right pattern herself. She brushed off some fake-dirt off her baseball tee. Laura pulled out her wand from the inner pocket of her white blazer and cast a hot-air charm on kirsch to dry his clothes: a light purple button-down with a ridiculously popped collar, light-brown khakis, and navy blue sneakers. He shot her a grateful look and all three of them entered the Hufflepuff common room.

The party was already in full swing when they entered. LaF was mixing a bunch of stuff at some elevated platform and Perry was running around with Tommy James, the other Hufflepuff prefect, trying to clean up the mess people were leaving behind. The room was thumping with some muggle music with way too much bass but people didn't seem to mind. Lots of people were dancing on the make-shift dancefloor in the middle of the common room.

"Hey! Cap's here!" Elsie shouted from her place on top of a table in a ridiculously multi-colored skirt and a black tank top. She jumped down and practically skipped towards them. "Mel wants to challenge you to a drinking contest!"

Danny winced. "What drink?"

"Firewhisky!"

Kirsch instantly perked up. "Firewhisky? Oh this is going to be great D-bear!" He started dragging Danny away from Laura and towards a table full of bad decisions.

Laura scrunched her nose and shook her head in amusement. At least, until she realized that her friends left her alone. She looked around, looking for a familiar face. There was the Ravenclaw players playing some variation of Wizard's Chess but with various alcoholic drinks instead of actual figures in one corner of the room. Killian and Theo were playing against each other. Adam was pretty gone, swaying side-to-side and spilling bits of his drink on the floor. Clara was sitting on the arm of the honey-yellow couch the rest of the Ravenclaw team was on, occasionally forcing a smile to keep up appearances.

"Saw your friends abandon you," someone spoke up next to her. Laura jumped and turned her head to look at who spoke up. It was Elliot Greatwich, Slytherin's back-up seeker. She had blonde hair tucked in a red backwards snapback, and probably two of the bluest eyes Laura had ever seen. Laura had to look up quite a bit because Elliot was around a head taller than her.

"Oh, hey! Um, Elliot, right?" Laura said.

Elliot gave Laura a small smile. "Yeah. And you're Laura Hollis." She handed Laura one of the two solo cups she was holding. "Butterbeer?"

Laura gratefully took it. "Thanks! So, um, do you frequently attend stuff like this?"

Elliot shrugged and took a sip from her cup. "My friend, Jess, does. She just drags me around."

Laura's eyes widened. "Jess? As in our Jess? Our third chaser Jess? You're her pitiful Slytherin friend?" As soon as that slipped out, Laura covered her mouth and squeaked out a weak "I'm sorry."

Elliot frowned. "Pitiful? Jess called me pitiful? Ugh, where's that Gryffindor knucklehead? I swear, I'm going to-"

She turned to find her friend and Laura flailed, grabbing Elliot's arm to turn her back around just in case she decides to start a duel with Jess or something. In her panic she accidentally spilled her drink down Elliot's white tank top, just narrowly missing the blue button-down she decided to wear on top of it. Laura gaped.

"I. Am. So. Sorry."

(A plus Hollis. You meet a nice, cute girl at a party and you just had to mess it up.)

Elliot's mouth hung open for a while before she shut her eyes and started laughing. Laura stared at her for a moment before laughing herself. She didn't know how long it had been since she last laughed like this. It was a strange but not unwelcome feeling. All thoughts of Carmilla were almost pushed out. Almost.

==xx==

It was Monday night and rain was pouring down hard. So what does Lex do? Make them do drills. Carmilla's mood was already pretty sordid. For the last two days, Laura had been getting closer and closer to their other seeker who was now getting bumped up to chaser because Jacob Tully, their third starting chaser had to be brought to St. Mungo's to be treated for drinking way too much during the party last Saturday.

She glared at Lex who was shouting at them to move faster or something. Honestly, Carmilla didn't know why she still put up with Lex. She's the reason why Mother made her break up with Laura. Maybe Mattie was right. Lex was a self-righteous ass who would do anything to prove herself regardless of who she hurt.

Carmilla was so lost in her thoughts that she collided with Mathias and they both rolled onto the muddy ground. Lex was standing at her side within a few seconds.

"Carmilla, what the hell was that?!" she yelled. "Get your head back in the drills before you cause more damage."

Sofia dismounted next to Mathias and helped him stand up, brushing some of the mud off his uniform. "Hey, Ivers. I'm okay. Relax. Maybe Karnstein's just tired," Mathias said.

Lex said nothing and Carmilla found herself growling.

"Damn right I'm tired," she muttered. She pushed herself up and glared at Lex who sported her usual blank expression.

Rain was pouring all around them. The water seeped through Carmilla's uniform. She shivered but willed herself to be still as she locked eyes with her cousin.

"We're done here. Everyone, get cleaned up. We'll do this again tomorrow," Lex's eyes never left Carmilla's.

Will lingered for a bit before shrugging and leaving with everyone else. When she was sure they were alone, Carmilla spoke again.

"I'm tired of you acting like you don't care about anything. I'm tired of you pushing me around and now this? You're so obsessed with this whole Quidditch thing that you don't care about how the rest of the team is holding up!" She shoved Lex who allowed herself to be pushed back. "And as if the team wasn't enough, you hurt me too."

Lex's mouth opened slightly. "Carm, I..."

"Lex, don't. I broke up with Laura because of you."

"Hey, what? I wasn't the one who forced you to do that. It was Mother!"

"Yeah. I know, it's so easy to blame her but you can't ignore the fact that she did that because of you. You told her that you thought Laura was distracting me."

"That's not-"

"Yes it was!" It's Ell all over again!" Carmilla choked. She hadn't spoken about that Beauxbaton girl in two years. Her memory bubbled up to the surface of her mind, fueling her anger towards her cousin.

Lex's eyes softened. She reached for her cousin. "Carmilla look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No Lex. You can't just say sorry. You can't just give me new stuff either. A new broom isn't going to make me forget. I'm done with you."

Carmilla turned away and Lex's eyes widened in panic. She rushed forward and held onto Carmilla from behind. Carmilla squirmed and tried to get out of Lex's hold but the older girl was really clinging onto her. That's when Lex started shaking. The cold, perhaps? Carmilla might've been able to convince herself that it was just that but then she felt warm liquid trickle down the back of her neck.

(Was Lex crying?)

Carmilla's throat tightened when Lex started whispering "I'm sorry" over and over again. Her voice was unsteady and was on the verge of cracking.

"I'm sorry I suddenly shut you out. I'm sorry I let mother do that to you. I'm sorry for not being there for you. I'm just- I can't- It-" Her voice finally cracked and Carmilla felt tears running down her own face.

"I know what it's like," Lex forced herself to continue. "I know how much you want to tell her everything, let her know you still love her."

"No one said anything about..." Carmilla trailed off when she felt Lex scoff. Lex released her and she turned around to face her cousin. "But you know what? Damn what Mother says. Carmilla Alexis Karnstein, you deserve to be happy, okay?"

Carmilla frowned and looked up at her cousin. "How about you? Clara?"

Lex winced and looked away. "She's with Adam now. There's no point."

They locked eyes again. Carmilla could suddenly see that her cousin suffered just as much she had. She'd been so caught up in her own pain that she never noticed her cousin's.

==xx==

Three years ago…

"Lex!" Carmilla said, almost as soon as she entered the Slytherin common room. She knew Lex was still up studying for some Herbology exam. (She procrastinated studying for it because she absolutely loathed Herbology.) What she wasn't expecting was for Mathias and Sofia to be up with her.

Lex stretched pushed herself off the floor, where she was sitting on with books and papers sprawled around her. Mathias and Sofia were set-up similarly. Lex carefully tip-toed around the study material.

"What's up?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.

"I figured out a way to get around without our brooms," Carmilla said, grinning smugly at her cousin.

"Animagus? Yeah, I considered that," Lex replied, frowning. "It's a difficult process and I'm not sure if-"

"Mattie's offering to help us!" Carmilla blurted out.

Lex raised an eyebrow. "I'd say I was surprised then I remembered that it's you. Of course she'll help you." She patted Carmilla's head, causing the latter to swat at her hands. "Talk to you tomorrow, cuz. I need to study." She started to head back to the study area when Carmilla called out.

"Maybe if you didn't procrastinate that subject so much, you wouldn't have to!"

A groan came from Lex earning laughter from Mathias and Sofia.

Carmilla smirked and headed back to her dorm.


Author's Note:

Special guest: Elliot from Almost Adults! Yeah, I thought it would be fun if she showed up to spice things up and make Carm jealous. Her friend, Jess, from 'Til Lease Do Us Part also gets mentioned!

Disclaimer: I haven't actually sorted them and I just stuck them in the houses that made the most sense. My actual opinions on their sorting may change (though, I do think that Jess is a Gryffindor or at least has a Gryffindor secondary if we're going by sortinghatchats).

And Panther!milla makes an appearance! It doesn't seem like it now but Hollstein is endgame, I swear.

Special thanks to my friend Robin for editing this for me at 12 in the morning. I love you and bless your cow.