I got a lot of positive feedback on the last chapter, so I decided to write this instead of the Force Balanced. Happy reading! :D
Why Thor Crossovers Are A Really Bad Idea
"Kriff!" swore Anakin Skywalker, banging on the ship's console.
"What's wrong, Ani?" asked Padmé.
"Our fuel tank has a slight rupture and we can't go into hyperspace till will fix it."
"Calm down and let me find a sutible world to land on."
Padmé went to the onboard computer and began looking up worlds. She didn't have to search long before she found a sutible planet.
"Found one!" she told her husband.
Anakin walked over and looked at the screen.
"Asgard? Sounds like the name for something to protect your posterior."
Padmé laughed.
"Hmm...that's weird," said Anakin, looking closer, "It's rumored that the crown prince is Force sensitive. We'll have to be careful."
The ship landed without incident, and soon Anakin and Padmé were wandering the streets, looking for a hardware shop. They found one just outside the castle. As they finished making their purchases, a ripped blond man entered the store. He wore a red cape and body armor, and had a hammer hanging from his belt.
"You must be the local blacksmith," said Padmé.
The man simply grinned.
"Lady Jane! You are looking more beautiful than ever! I had no idea that you had arrived on Asgard!"
The man pulled Padmé towards him and kissed her deeply. He was interrupted by Anakin, who punched him in the face. The man tripped over his cape and landed on his bottom.
"That's my wife, you creep!" yelled Anakin, pulling Padmé towards him.
The man stood up and glared at Anakin.
"Your wife? That's my girlfriend, Lady Jane Foster! I suggest you let her go before I crush your innards with Mjolnir!"
Anakin decided that this lunatic was either on crazy amounts of LSD or that he had a girlfriend who was a Padmé lookalike. Being the logical person that he was, Anakin decided to believe the former.
"You're out of your mind," said Anakin, "Her name's Padmé and she's my wife."
The man growled.
"Do you know who I am?"
"A Gungan on crack?" guessed Anakin.
"I am Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of Asgard and the God of Thunder!" the man boomed.
Lightning crackled in the air, but Anakin didn't flinch. Apparently the Prince was also a practitioner of the Dark Side.
"Last warning, mortal! Step away from my lady or you die!"
Anakin rolled his eyes.
"No way, blondie. Go home to your daddy and brush your hair, little princess."
Thor roared and fired lightning from his hammer, but Anakin was ready. He activated his lightsaber and absorbed the electricity. Padmé took out her blaster and shot the demigod in the shoulder. Thor fell to the ground.
"Owwwwwwwwwwww...it burns!" he whined, clutching his arm, "Jane, why would you harm me, my beloved?"
"THAT'S IT!" yelled Anakin, "FOR THE LAST TIME SHE IS MY WIFE, NOT YOUR IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND!"
Anakin swung his lightsaber at Thor, who raised up his hammer to block it. The blade cut through the stone with a hiss, and the top part fell on the ground. Thor looked at the stick in his hand and began crying.
"Oh, stranger, why do you humiliate me so?" he sobbed, "First you take my lady and turn her against me, and then you destroy my treasured Mjolnir!"
Anakin thought it was strange that Thor had named his hammer. He didn't run around calling his lightsaber 'Steven'.
Thor got up and ran out of the shop, still crying and yelling something like 'Daddy! They broke my hammer!'. Anakin looked at Padmé, and she shrugged.
"How about let's get away from this place?" she asked.
"What, you don't want to sightsee? That's a first," said Anakin.
In a few short minutes, Anakin fixed the ship and they blasted into space. Anakin decided that keeping crybaby Sith princes away from his wife had made him tired, so he decided to take a nap. When he woke, he saw that Padmé was on the computer.
"What're you doing?" he asked.
Padmé looked up.
"I decided to see if this Jane Foster was a real person. She is."
Anakin looked at Foster's picture and whistled.
"Wow, she looks like an older you."
Anakin grinned.
"And now that she's single," he continued, "I'm going to get her number."
Anakin ran for his life, laughing wildly, as Padmé drew her blaster and chased after him.
"ANAKIN SKYWALKER, YOU ARE SOOO SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TONIGHT!"
