They slept soundly on the floor, leaning against the side of the desk. Naruto's arms were draped loosely around Sakura, who was situated between his legs. Her head leaned against his chest, rising slowly to the rhythm of his breathing. The abnormally loud rustling of some leaves outside caused her to lazily blink her eyes open. It took her a moment to realize where she was, and to realize she was still nude. Their clothes were haphazardly packed in a pile on the floor, but the warmth of his body was all that she needed. Stretching her legs, she eased out of Naruto's hold as delicately as she could. Her hands searched along the floor looking for her dress. A faint glare shone through the pocket, quickly grabbing it, while squinting at the light. "Naruto!" She hushed, "Wake up! It's almost five in the morning!"
"Hn…wha—"
"Hey, hey, hey! You have to get up!"
"I-I think I'm just going to stay here for a while."
"What about Hinata? Won't she notice you're still gone?"
"…I'll just tell her I came home late and went to work early."
As Sakura scrambled to get her clothes on, Naruto lazily rose from the floor. "I have to get home," she rushed, "I have to leave now."
"Do you want me to walk you back?"
"…That's probably not the best idea."
Naruto thought on this obliviously, the gears in his head at a full halt. Realizing the implication of the Hokage walking a former love interest to her home early in the morning from his office, he stammered, "Oh, oh yeah, yeah, you're right," while nodding his head in understanding. Even he was surprised by his own stupidity. As she made her way toward the door, Naruto reached for her hand. "Sakura, before you go," his voice trailing off, "I would really like to—"
"Naruto…how about you come over tonight so we can talk. If you have the time, that is." His eyes briefly flickered with heartache, but it disappeared with a shake of his head. "I always have time for you." Sharing one final glance, their hands reluctantly parted, and she quietly disappeared through the door.
The morning air was chill and humid, and the sparse remains of moonlight glowed on the street. It was early enough in the morning that none of the shops were open, and none of the civilians were awake. She rested easy knowing her walk would be relatively suspicion-free. She tried her hardest to think of anything other than Naruto, but it seemed to be impossible. It was hard to believe the same annoying, hyperactive knucklehead who was dead-last at the academy became the capable, honorable, and heroic man he was now. Her marriage to Sasuke was the ultimate testament of his love for her; Naruto never broke his promise to bring him back no matter what, even at the cost of his own safety or happiness. She laid a hand to her aching heart. She breathed his name to herself. Naruto…Naruto…Naruto. Her feet shuffled faster against the pavement, and she ducked her head lower toward the ground.
Sakura stood in front of the door, fingers barely wrapped round the knob. As she lifted her arm to unlock it, the wind jostled her keys, and she panicked to grip them quiet. She swung her head wildly in either direction to see if she had attracted any attention. The only thing that saw her was tiny spotted cat that hung around her house from time to time, and she sighed in relief. Paranoia was starting to get the best of her, and she was eager to get inside. She agonized over how best to make the least amount of noise. I hope she's still asleep. She should be, it's so early. Please don't let her wake up, please. Oh god, what if she waited for me? What if she asks where I was? Damn, I don't even know what I would say. Please, just let her just be asleep! She drew a quick breath, inserted the key, and faintly turned the knob. Her eyes scanned the inside of the living room, looking for any sign that her analytical little girl was waiting to catch her. Easing the door closed behind her, shoes in hand, Sakura tiptoed into the house. The only sound she heard was the pounding in her chest, as she made a conscious effort to avoid the creakier floorboards. The minuscule squeak of a surprise panel jolted her, and she froze in a rather awkward position, heart just about ready to burst out of her chest. She ground her teeth, just waiting for Sarada to pop out and yell at her. Thankfully there was nothing but continued silence. With bated breath, she crept further into the house. She found Sarada's door was slightly ajar. She peered her head in, but was careful not to disturb a sound in her room. Black threads of hair were sprawled across her pillow, and her face was buried into her favorite stuffed bear. Sakura smiled lightly, and quietly backed away from the door, and made a couple more cautious steps down the hall. Once she crossed the threshold into her own bedroom she relaxed, and took in a deep breath as she discreetly shut the entrance closed. As she turned around, her eyes were fixated on the many Uchiha crests on the wall. Thinking of her husband, and the ring on her finger, she immediately began to feel ashamed. I don't have the energy for this right now she thought, and dragged herself over to her bed, sighing with both exhaustion and guilt. Collapsing on the cozy, comfy sheets soothed her, and she lazily crawled under them and pressed her head to the pillow. She took in one last deep breath, and slowly drifted to sleep.
"Mama?"
Sakura's eyes shot open a mile wide. She darted her head over her shoulders and found Sarada standing in the doorway. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her daughter let out a small yawn. "Mama?" She asked, "Did you peek inside my room?" Sakura's mind took off running, and she found herself unable to formulate a cohesive answer. Say something, you idiot! She's staring right at you! "Uh…u-um, yeah, I did," she stammered. "I, uh, I woke up much earlier this morning, and I wanted to check on you to see if you were still asleep." Sarada nodded her head, and started walking toward her mother's bed.
"Did you make it to bed all right?"
"Yes, mama. I fell asleep by ten o'clock."
"Oh, that's good."
"Did you and the Seventh have a good night?"
"Uh, yeah, we did. We had a nice time."
"Well, I'm glad. Mama, can I sleep in your bed with you?"
"Did you have a bad dream?"
"No, I just want to be with you."
"Sure, sweetie."
Sakura lifted the sheets to her bed, and Sarada crawled inside. She noticed her mother was still wearing her outfit from the night before, but wrote it off as her simply being too tired to change. Her mother hugged her tightly, and she felt her mother nuzzle her face into her hair. For once, her father's absence no longer bothered her; her mother's warmth and love was all she needed.
…
The house was cast in darkness except for the luminous blue glow of their television set. Mother and daughter sat with their eyes widely and mindlessly glued to the film on the screen, shoveling handful after handful of popcorn into their mouths. Both of them directed their attention to the sound of a familiar knock at the door. "Hold on," Sakura whispered, as she cautiously navigated her way toward the front door. She slowly pulled it open, but her eyes were still mostly glued to the TV. "Hello, Sakura." Naruto's voice startled her, and she aimed her attention toward him. "Oh, Naruto, come in! Sarada and I were just watching a movie."
"Oh, I hope I'm not interrupting."
"No, no, no, it's fine!"
After flicking on the light switch, Sakura rushed to the coffee table and shut the TV off with the remote. "Oh no, c'mon! It was getting so good!" Sarada protested loudly. Sakura gestured apologetically. "I'm sorry Sarada, but I need to speak with the Seventh privately. Why don't you go outside and water the flowers for me?" Sarada rolled her eyes dramatically, and reluctantly grumbled toward the back door, as Sakura exclaimed after her, "I promise we'll finish it later!" Naruto chuckled. "Does she get the eye-rolling from you or Sasuke?" She let out a playful sight. "Honestly, that one can go either way."
They sat silently across from each other. Sakura nervously tapped her fingers against her cup of tea, searching her brain for the right words to begin with. "Sakura, I just want to get all of this out in the open."
"I do too. Because, quite frankly…I don't want it to end."
Naruto's cheeks went red, and he struggled to swallow. He had been fretting all day about having this discussion with her, but never imagined she could speak so bluntly about it. Of course, Sakura never was one to beat around the bush; that trait was only exacerbated by her time training under Tsunade. He met her gaze again, and felt the sorrow that hid behind her calm exterior. "Sakura…I thought that you were happy."
"I thought you were happy, too."
"What are you talking about? I am happy!"
She mockingly exhaled through her nose. "You can't be too happy if you would rather spend countless nights in your office instead of going home to your wife and children."
"Hey, it's not like I'm avoiding them. My job is difficult. I'm very busy."
"I don't think you're nearly as busy as you say you are. I know for a fact that Shikamaru ends up doing at least half of your paperwork himself. Temari has the mess of contracts and assignments on her coffee table to prove it."
Naruto dumbly twiddled his thumbs. He was busy, all right; keeping the peace was hard work. But she was right.
"More desk work than you were expecting, hmm?"
"Heh, quite a bit, yeah."
"That can't possibly be all you're doing, though. Especially since things have been so calm lately."
"I should be spending more time at home."
"Boruto and Himawari are going to be grown before you know it. You need to be around to see it."
"You're right, you're right. At least they have Hinata. She's a very good mother."
"I always thought that you two made a lovely couple."
"Yeah…I just…" Naruto frustratingly rubbed his hands against his face, struggling to appropriately articulate his very confusing feelings. How was it possible to contain such a strange, perplexing combination of emotions for someone? "I-I love Hinata, but…"
"But what?"
"But…nowhere near the same way that I love you."
He reached a hand across the table and laid it thoughtfully on top of hers. Her hand jerked at his touch, but she found the gesture consoling. In all the time she had known Naruto, having seen him endure much worse with a smile, it was hard to hear how shaken he was in his voice.
"That's…that's very much the way I feel about Sasuke."
"I had hoped that you two traveling together would have maybe warmed him up a bit."
"I mean, it did. We really took the time to understand each other. But, even then, he's just always so…distant. Even when we made love for the first time, he was just so unemotional. Like we were setting up camp or something."
"That's disappointing to hear."
"He loves Sarada, though."
"I would be disturbed if you told me otherwise."
"Sometimes I think he just doesn't feel anything toward me at all."
Her eyes fell away from Naruto, and she felt the tears hanging on her eyelashes. She pulled away from him, and covered her face with her hands. She couldn't bear the thought of having to make him watch her cry for the umpteenth time. Stifled sobs slipped through her fingers, and Naruto quickly rose from his chair, and made his way to her side of the table. "He's never even said 'I love you' to me." Naruto's ears pricked up at this bit of information. That can't possibly be true, he thought. Every instant he had spent with Sasuke and Sakura ran through his head, and he recalled every moment in search of those three words. He felt a horrible sense of dread once he realized he couldn't think of a single occasion. Not even their wedding. Sakura's weeping cut straight through him, and he sensitively placed a hand on her shoulder. He spoke in a hushed tone, "I fought to bring Sasuke home because he's our friend. Our comrade. But I fought especially hard because I promised you I would. I fought because I thought he was who could make you happy." Sakura ran her fingers across her eyes, as she sniffled, "I thought he was too." He allowed her a moment of silence to collect herself, lightly patting her on back. Wiping her eyes on her wrist, she took in a few deep breathes, and casually sipped her lukewarm tea.
"I'm sorry. I wish I hadn't said all that."
"Please, don't apologize."
"Maybe I'm just being selfish. He feels he still has to atone, and if this is how he thinks he does it best, then I should support him, shouldn't I?"
"Not at the expense of what it's doing to you, Sakura. Or Sarada."
"Maybe my happiness shouldn't matter right now."
"Sakura, if anyone's deserving of some happiness, it's you."
"Yeah, says the guy responsible for saving the world."
"Well," he chuckled, "I had a little help."
Their hands subtly brushed against each other.
"I just want you to be happy, Sakura. That's all I've ever wanted."
"And I appreciate everything you've done for me. More than you know."
She rested her head on his shoulder.
"What we're doing is wrong."
"I know."
"We shouldn't do this anymore."
"I know."
"We're both married."
"I know."
"But I can't bring myself to want to stop."
He smiled, content.
"Neither can I."
The swinging of the back door against the wall startled them apart, and they sat unflinchingly rigid as Sarada bounded toward the kitchen. "I finished watering the plants. Can we finish the movie now?" She watched as her mother and the Hokage simply stared back at her, mouths agape, eyes still. "…Or are you still talking?" Sakura sputtered, "No, no! I, uh," staring again at Naruto for a cue. He broke his stare, and quickly stood up from the table, straightening out his clothes. "Y-Yes, I think we're finished." Sakura followed suit, and shot up from her chair. "Yes, okay, good. I'll see you out," she babbled, and nudge him toward the door. "Enjoy your movie, Sarada." She nodded her head in the Hokage's direction, and cleared out of her mother's frantic path as she carelessly walked him outside. Peeking past the door, she watched as the two of them affectionately embraced, and caught a glimpse Naruto's soft and thoughtful expression as he whispered in her mother's ear. They lingered for only a moment longer, and soon he disappeared down the now lit street. Her mother ambled back into the house looking more serene, in a way she had not looked in quite some time. Sakura beckoned her daughter back toward the couch, grinning from ear to ear. "Ready?" Moving hesitantly, Sarada took a place on the couch, and they resumed the movie. Despite being interested before, she could only now focus on one thing.
What did he say to her? Sarada thought. What did he say?
