Hey guys, sorry for not posting in a while, I've been super busy. I'll update The Force Balanced soon, I promise.

Why Avengers Crossovers Are A Bad Idea

Steve Rogers relaxed on his sofa. Now that he had taken a vacation after saving the world for the bazillionth time, he decided to cross some things off of his to-do/to-look up list.

Hmm, he thought, What do I do first?

He decided to watch Star Wars, since he'd heard that a new one was coming out soon. He took out the box of the complete saga in Blu-Ray and decided to start with A New Hope, since the Hawkeye told him that it was more enjoyable to start with that one. He put the disk in and kicked back as the title crawl began to appear.

Around four hours later...

No, I am your father! boomed the really kriffing awesome voice of James Earl Jones.

Steve gasped! What a twist! He really didn't see that one coming, although that explained that part in Toy Story 2 (Ant-Man made him watch it. He really liked Pixar movies for some reason).

Steve was thoroughly enjoying himself. The special effects were wayyyy better than the Wizard of Oz (Which was a very crappy movie now that he thought about it) and the story was freakin' amazing. The Empire Strikes Back finished and he put in Return of the Jedi, knowing that he wouldn't stop watching until he had seen all six.

Three hours later (You just read that in a SpongeBob voice. Admit it)...

Steve was watching The Phantom Menace, loving its political stuff, when he saw something that made him spit out his Captain Crunch cereal. It was Nick Fury, sitting with the Jedi Council, wearing Jedi robes, and with both eyes. At first, Steve thought that the actor just had a coincidental resemblance to the ex-director of S.H.I.E.L.D., so he let it go like that chick in Frozen (A Scarlet Witch favorite, by the way). But after spotting his lightsaber in Attack of the Clones, Steve began to become suspicious. Fury alway loved purple, and rumor was that he tried to paint the helicarrier violet before getting rejected by the World Security Council. Coincidence? Steve thought not.

Curiosity awakening inside him, Steve watched eagerly, wondering what had happened to Mace Windu. Finally, at near the end of Revenge of the Sith, he saw Windu get his arm cut off and throw out a window.

Windu fell out of a window. Heh heh, thought Steve, before pushing the thought out of his mind, to focus on more serious things.

So Windu had lost his hand. Easily fixed with today's technology. Heck, all he had to do was to ask Stark. As for falling out of a minimum twenty story window, Steve had survived higher. Piece of cake for a Jedi Master. His eye probably was damaged by the Sith Lightning, so that was explained as well. There was little to none information on Fury's personal life, and now Steve thought he knew the answer. He paused the movie, Googled Mace Windu, and opened Photoshop. He drew an eyepatch and a beard on the Jedi's face. Bingo. Perfect match.

After Steve finished watching RoTS, he fell asleep. Binge watching was like a sugar rush. You feel energetic while it's happening, but after it's done you're knocked out like Han in carbonite.

()()()()()

The next day, Steve went directly to Tony Stark. He found him in his lab, working on some sort of plasma cannon.

"Sup," said Steve.

"You're getting better at the hip speak, Baseball Cap," replied Stark, turning to face his friend.

"Yeah, well, I've had a lot of downtime," said Steve.

"Just don't start saying YOLO all the time and you'll be fine," said Stark as he took off his gloves, "Sooo, what brings your star-spangly pajamaed behind to my Science Cave? If it's for an Iron Patriot suit, no I haven't made one and never will. That piece of junk was stupider than Transformers 4."

"First of all, I thought Iron Patriot was cool. Second of all, the Science Cave is a dumb name for this place."

Tony shrugged.

"Brucie came up with it. He kinda always get his way."

"Anyway, I just finished watching all six Star Wars."

Tony didn't show any reaction.

"Annnnnnndddd...?" he asked, "Surprised that Vader was Luke's father?"

"Yeah, that was an unexpected twist. Kind of like Leia being Luke's sister. I didn't see that coming!"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but what really surprised me the most was something in the Prequel Trilogy," continued Steve, "Don't you think Mace Windu looks a liiiitttlllee too much like Nick Fury?"

Tony grinned.

"Finally! Even Banner didn't realize that! You're the second one, Uncle Sam!"

Steve blinked.

"Wait, what?" he asked, feeling very confused, "Fury's seriously Mace Windu?"

Tony scoffed.

"Hell, yeah. I found out ages ago. Apparently he survived all that crap and came here."

"Did you confront him about it?"

"Yeah, he told me to keep it quiet."

"And you did? I'm surprised."

Tony rummaged around in a drawer.

"Well, in return for my secrecy," he said, "Fury showed me how to build one of...these!"

Stark whipped out a lightsaber from the drawer and ignited it. Glowing blue light filled the room. Steve's jaw dropped. Tony just smirked.

"Pretty cool right?"

"Make me one...please," begged Steve.

"If you think that's awesome, wait till you see the Falcon."

"For realzies?"

"Yep. I'm making a Death Star by Asgard, too."

"Why not Earth?"

"Some intergalactic crap about planetary zoning. The New Republic sucks."

()()()()()

Steve sat on his sofa, his mind still trying to comprehend all that he'd learned. When he finally stood up, he was more than surprised to see three ghostly figures looking at him. So he did what any logical person who supernatural spirits in their living room would do. He waved his hand through them.

"Woah, woah woah!" said the ghost of Anakin Skywalker, "Boundaries, Captain!"

"He can see us!" exclaimed a befuddled Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Told you so, I did," said Yoda, "Strong with the Force, he is."

Steve stared.

"Don't just look at us like a drunken bantha! You have anything to say?"

"Um, how do you know I'm Force sensitive?" asked Steve.

"See us, you can," said Yoda.

"Plus your shield somehow always magically comes back to your hand," said Obi-Wan, "There's no other explanation."

"Huh," said Steve, "I always wondered why that happened."

Captain America fainted.

"Too old he is," said Yoda.

Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Not this kreth again," he said, "You said that the last two times and look what happened."