chapter 4
"Juvia, come on open this door" he said knocking at her door for the nth times "please" he added really softly hoping that this magic could work without her listening to his pleading.
This story was going out of hand. He knew he was acting like a fool but what else could he do? His mind kept going over and over in the same place, to her! His brain was full of "what if" and he didn't like this feeling of being powerless and weak. She was still under that fucking curse and there were no news from Levy but this did not mean he had to stay there with his hands in his hair doing nothing, at least, this was the conclusion he reached after hours of sulking with his hand in his hair, body spread on the table in the kitchen.
This was not him. He was a man of action so when she passed storming in front of the room yelling who knows what to Natsu he just took this as a sign and went behind her only to be sent to hell a second later... Well better than being ignored as she did for the last three days
Juvia sighs, he was still behind that door and part of her was really pissed because he just couldn't listen and stay the fuck out of her life… but there was something in the lowest part of her stomach that told her that she was missing something.
She told herself that she was not a drama queen and this situation was really too cliché so she had to open that door just to get rid of him and be free to go sleeping, so she took a breath and a quick glance to the mirror adjusting her messy hair with her hands and then took the handle.
"Would you please stop bothering me?" she told him as soon as her eyes met his
"Nope" was his only answer then she was closing the door but he was faster in putting a foot in the door frame
"The fuck?" she said
"This is just a payback for all the time you refused to leave me alone! My turn to be annoying!" he simply said pulling the door opened and going in
"You still are a neat freak uh?" he observed taking a glance at her room
"Am not, I am a normal person, it is just you that like to live in the house have been robbed"
"Yup but look at the bright side, our house has never been robbed because of this" he smiled
"Yay because they thought someone already did it"
She suspected that the mention of their house was made on purpose but she let the thing drop...
"So what do you want?" she said cutting their silly conversation "if you are here to tell me something about the potion or me not being myself I swear I will.."
"No" he admitted and for a strange reason, she had the impression he was blushing a bit "I just wanted to talk"
"My god" she whispered, "do you miss me?"
"What?" "NO way" he said too soon and with the voice too acute "it's just something you said, that after this battle you will..you know?" he didn't finish the sentence. The only thought was.. stupid.
"I will try to find my own place and not steal yours, yes!" She confirmed
"Well, this is just dumb! You already are in your place, with.. well the guild, us"
Juvia laughed, typical of Gray, he always brought up this same shit, she was in his guild, his Nakama, his whatever, but he never had the balls to just claim her Really his and this game was getting old. Not that it matters to her anymore
So she decided just to play a bit.
She turned her back to him and with a hand moved her hair to one side
"Don't wanna talk anymore, just wanna change and sleep, can you shut up and help me?" she said looking at him from her shoulder being sure of biting her lips in the process
"Yes" he breathed and she could swear she could see something burn deep in his eyes.
But It was nothing like playing with fire. He was a man made of ice.
He took the zip of her shirt in his fingers being sure to do not touch her in any way and started to pull it down but as soon as he saw a glimpse of the skin of her back he could feel his blood run hotter in his veins.
This was not the first time he felt like this, living with her for months had been a blessing and a torment. A blessing because he could know her as nobody else, see truly her, without the superstructure she always put on to impress him, he didn't need to be impressed, he liked to see her every time she was not aware that he was looking. To see her singing in the kitchen, dancing to a song only she had in mind while she cleaned the house, listening to the silly stories she told to the plants in their garden, because someone had told her that plants grow stronger if they feel themselves loved and she was so damn good in making things feel loved.. he liked to see her dressed in large shirt all rumble after the night, with the messy hair she woke up with, before she put so many efforts into fixing it.
Like she could read his mind or because following his thought he was playing with a strand of her blue waves, she started to smooth her hair with her hands
This was the torment: he liked to be in control of everything, every move of his was always planned, considered, but not with her! The more time he spent with her the more she seemed to put everything out of his control and he didn't like what he do not understand unless.. he liked this feeling! Because of this, he hated it at the same time. It really was a mess. He had a goal in life, he swore to always be strong but when she turned her head to look at him wetting her lips he felt weak.
..but even Ice can burn
Gray's hand took a grip on her hips from behind, his palm flat on her stomach, while the other hand went through her hair, to her neck.
She gasped. They already played this game and she went out burned to ashes. When he left she felt consumed to her very core, but not this time. This time was her turn, and when the rain is set on fire there is just one possible finale: apocalypse.
His lips were light on her skin but they burned in place with the contrast of his cold breath with her.
She turned abruptly to look in his eyes and he seemed lost and scared. She could see that he already regretted just that light connection, but this was not enough. This time, he would be the one burned. She wanted him to feel her pain and this was exactly what she knew would destroy him.
It was a turmoil of feeling the ones inside of her. She knew deeply that in any way she could really hurt him, not him! And yet she felt desperate to make him feel something about her, she wanted him to feel as she felt even if just for a moment. Maybe he was right, the potion had done something because she still felt herself but different, like at some point she had lost all the hope that kept her sane and now she was lost.
His hands were still firm on her so she just rolled her hips to make him aware. It worked. She could feel his fingers rose and curl grasping the tissue of her shirt while his lips were again on her neck when she turned her head to the side to give him space.
His locks were brushing her skin and she reached his nape trapping her fingers in his hair pulling them a bit so he made one of his deep noises that she knew so well. She took advantage of that moment to turn around and do to him the same thing he was doing to her, so she brushed her lips at the base of his neck going slowly up and down and savoring his taste with the tip of her tongue.
He tightened his grasp on her.
God, she loved how strong he was and the way he made her feel fragile and protected. "fuck" she hissed with a choked voice. Her mind was set to take her vengeance but her body seemed to follow a different way and was melting under the touch she, apparently, missed.
But not this time, nor ever again. He was done with taking everything about her and leave her empty.
With that moment of anger, she bit his neck expecting him to storm away like he always did when things turned too much for him. But this time, he didn't and seemed ignited with a wave of something she had never seen before.
When her teeth scraped his neck he felt something boil inside of him and It was like he was getting crazy, her scent all around, the softness of her skin, her hot breath, he felt like drowning slowly knowing that only Juvia could save him unless she was the one keeping his head underwater. It didn't matter what she said, it didn't matter if now she acted like he was nothing and claim to be different, she smelled like Juvia and tasted like Juvia to him and in that moment he just wanted her. He was being selfish because maybe she was right and this was her chance to have a life without him but he didn't want her to. He didn't know what this feeling was. He still couldn't put a name on it but he knew what he needed right there.
She felt her feet being lifted from the floor. Like she weights nothing he had raised her from her buttock and now his lips were on hers, fervent and demanding. When the tips of his tongue found hers she had to fight the urge to moan but she lost. Every caress of his tongue in her mouth was like a tidal wave that caused her to sink deeper and deeper and there she was, clutching at his shirt with her legs tight around him, letting him do whatever he wanted.
She tried to recompose herself and with all her strength she pushed him until his back was on the wall, cornered. Then she kissed him with all her might, just to prove the point that she was not at his mercy, he was at hers.
Gray felt like burning, never in his life he had experienced something so urgent, this blind need. In that moment, while she kissed him, with such force and with her hands exploring his chest he thought he would surrender to everything she wanted but he couldn't, not when he needed her to understand that he was worth her. That he could be as strong as she was. He slid the already opened shirt exposing her shoulder and brought his mouth to follow the path of her collarbones.
She trembled under his lips and he had to fight the urge to smile. This was what he needed. He just wanted to feel her, to look at her, to taste her and he breathed in her scent losing himself. He was sure that if he had the nose of a dragon slayer he would have died happy right there because her proximity and her sweet rainy smell were intoxicating as he was under a spell.
He could feel his face flustered when she throw her shirt to the floor and started to play with his, lifting it and taking her time touching slowly every cranny of his body. Then angrily she tore it apart letting it hung at his side.
She knew she was going too fast for him, she was doing it on purpose in a dangerous game she cold not totally understand. She expected him to be upset or to be scared and run but again, he didn't. It was like he was on fire and everything she made was gasoline to that combustion.
With a single snap of his fingers, he loosened her bra pushing it off his way and he brought his hand exactly were both wanted it. They had never gone this far because usually he would just feel tormented with the fear of letting her too close but, this time was different because he was so fucking selfish. His hands closed around her breast and she gasped throwing her head back. Every moan was a melody he could not be tired of listening.
"I'm sorry!" he said regaining his composure just for a moment "I never wanted to leave you, I just wanted you to be safe because I am…"
"Don't!" she warned him "I don't wanna hear nothing right now!"
She couldn't take it, not now! She was already struggling to stop the duel inside herself. The unruly willing to let him win and the feeling that she just wanted him to know that she could still control her life, that she could stop at any moment…that she was done with losing herself to him. She could stop whenever she wanted…
He kissed her again, softly this time with both his hands on her face, feeling his way from her neck to her chest, taking again her softness in his palm. He gained a moan and this gave him the courage to keep going.
He lifted her, bringing her to her bed and letting her fall on the mattress. He looked at her for a second, she was beautiful with her fair, flawless skin, her blue messy hair spread all over the pillow, her watery eye, and her red lips. He just couldn't ignore how his heart was beating as crazy while she looked at him. He kissed her lips, her neck, the valley between her breasts, her abdomen, going down while his hands were making circles on the soft skin of her inner tights, raising slowly.
Every time he had thought about this in his mind, and it had happened a lot of time, it always ended in the same way, at some point he felt guilty, because he was dragging her in his cursed life and he couldn't go on because in his mind it was wrong and dangerous and it was like hell's gate could open at her feet and took her away from him.
Unless now, it felt like he was finally doing the right thing, it felt so natural and so fucking good that in no way something bad could come from this. And if hell would open at some point he was sure in this moment that he would have the strength to just shut it down and that Juvia would be at his side. Fighting alongside with him.
Why hadn't he realized this sooner? They were stronger together.
Right in that moment he stopped his ministration and she thought he was finally back in himself so she just was taken off guard when he kissed her again, in the sweetest way she could imagine, with his hand behind her head.
When he opened his eyes he was looking at her in a way that just made her stomach to knot and her mind to get dizzy. No one had ever looked at her with such affection. She could not prevent how it was like to be looked in that way so she just passed her hands on his cheeks tracing his profile with her fingers and asking herself if he was real.
He chuckled taking her hand in his and kissing it like a prince in an old movie. Then he kissed her nose and, lightly her lips a multitude of times.
Her head was spinning more and more at each contact of their naked skins and she was in the twilight zone, losing the perception of what was real and what wasn't so she didn't process her answer when he asked her "Tell me you won't leave me, Juvia" and she said in a shaky voice "yes, yes Gray sama"
He opened his eyes wide at the mention of the familiar addition of his name smiling as it was the Christmas eve's night but then it all happened too soon.
She looked at him lost, confused and…scared.
"Go away" she nearly screamed
"What?" he said confused while she threw his shirt in his face and kicked him off the bed
"I said Go. Away. Gray!" this time her voice was cold and distant but seemed hurt in someway so he just made a step back looking concerned "Juvia, what have I done? I.. sorry. I don't know what to say.. shit…I" he babbled pulling the hair on his nape with both hands.
"I don't wanna hear nothing, please just go away!" she said pushing him until he was out of her cabin and locking her door.
Gray stayed there dumbfounded trying to understand what had just happened and If the sound she had made when she had closed the door had been a sob.
