Hi, guys. I know it's been forever since my last update, but with Thanksgiving, Black Friday, and tests coming up in school- let's just say it's been hard to find some time to just write. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy this chapter- there are many more to come!
I awoke the next morning in my bed. "Peeta...?" I whisper, my hand feeling across the bed for his warm body. Realizing, he isn't there, I bolt upright and look around. "Peeta?!" I shout. I feel a wave of relief when he walks into the room. "Katniss?"
He lays down next to me and I instantly feel better. "Where have you been?" I ask. "Looking for Rye," he answers. He purses his lips, and I know that he's losing hope. "Where's Willow?" I ask. Peeta's blue eyes meet mine and he says, "In her room."
"I don't want her to do something stupid," I say. Peeta sighs. "What if she leaves the house to look for him, Peeta? You know how much she loves him," I stumble over my words. Tears build up in my eyes, as Peeta caresses my face. "She's smarter than that," he tells me. "Is she? Is she really?" I ask. Peeta shrugs. "I hope she is," he decides.
A few hours later, I find myself back in the woods with my bow and arrow. Willow and Peeta went out searching for Rye before I left. Meanwhile, I was hunting for our dinner.
Walking around a lake, I hear the sound of flapping wings. Sending my arrow up in the sky, I see a small sparrow drop. It lands with a plunk in the lake. It's not even close to enough for dinner, so I decide to keep hunting.
Then, I see the deer.
It's tall and meaty, and it's the first one I've seen in years. I pluck an arrow from my quiver and position it. My eyes narrow, aiming for the deer's white throat. The arrow lodges its head into the animal's neck and it topples over. A smile creeps onto my face as I run through the thickets of the forest.
I crouch beside the deer and grasp its back leg. Its heavy, but I can carry it.
As I drag the limp mammal, something catches my eye: a small leather shoe. Rye's small leather shoe. It's stuck between two big rocks. I try to yank the shoe out, but it's as if it's been glued down. Had Rye gotten stuck here, and taken off his shoe? "Rye!" I call out. There's no answer, just as I expected.
A tear rolls down my cheek as I continue dragging the deer back to my home.
I find Willow and Peeta in the living room when I get back. "Did you catch that?" Peeta asks, noticing the deer. "Yes," I reply stiffly, "I'm going to skin it in the backyard. But you're cooking it."
At supper, Willow doen't speak. Peeta and I try to start a conversation, but we fail. Willow picks at her slab of deer, but doesn't eat it. It's very strange, because ever since she was little, deer had always been her favorite meal. "Eat," I tell her. "I'm not hungry," she says. "Your brother would eat," Peeta says. Willow looks at him coldly. She about to say something when suddenly, Peeta throws himself backward in the chair and topples over, screaming. "Peeta!" I shout. "Fog... fog..." he repeats. "What's he thinking about?" Willow asks urgently. "The arena," I say. Peeta starts shaking, and as I hold his hand tightly, I can see what he sees: our blistering skin, Finnick's cry for Mags, our struggle to stay alive, and the forcefield where the fog stopped. I feel myself starting to get taken over by the fear boiling in my gut, until Willow starts sobbing.
"Stop it!" she screams. I look up, even though Peeta is still seizuring out on the floor. "Willow-"
"No, listen to me!" she cries, "I can't stand it anymore, every day its the same thing- screaming and crying and... freaking out. Just... stop it!"
I let go of Peeta's hand and stand up. "You don't know anything about what Peeta and I have gone through!" I shout. Willow sobs and runs into her room without another word.
I turn back to Peeta and I strike his arm stiffly. He snaps out of his 'vision'. "Katniss..?" Peeta says. I look back at him, and help him up. "What was Willow saying?" he asks. "She just... was frustrated," I decide. Peeta wraps his arms around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, savoring with warmth he gives me. "You love me. Real or not real?" Peeta asks. "I've already told you: Real," I say. Peeta sighs. "I'm sorry," he says. My grip tightens on him when he says this. "It's... okay," I whisper. We both know that's a big 'not real', but I say it anyway. Peeta's breath tickles me ear and I giggle. His hands wrap around my neck, and I flinch, remembering when he tried to choke me long ago. "It's okay," Peeta assures me, and his forehead rests on mine.
Suddenly, there's two hard knocks on the front door. I sigh, pull away from Peeta, and walk out of the dining room. I open the front door in the living room. There's a young boy, probably thirteen or fourteen years old, with dark hair and grey eyes. Heck, if I hadn't known, I could've guessed the kid was my son, he looked so much like me. "Um, hello," I utter slowly. The boy takes something off his back- a quiver. "Do you hunt?" I ask, trying to start a conversation with the boy. A smile forms on his face and his eyes meet mine. "Yes," he says. Peeta appears behind me, his hand on my shoulder, eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Peeta Mellark?" the boy snaps. His eyes narrow. Peeta glances at me, obviously wondering how this kid knew his name. "Go back in the kitchen, and I'll handle this," I say. He does.
"Now, would you mind telling me how you- someone I don't even know- know my husband's name?" I ask the boy in front of me. He lets himself inside the house and drops his quiver on the sofa. "My father told me about him," he says to me. "Okay, now who are you?" I ask him. The boy's eyes widen. "My father hasn't visited you and... told you about me?" he asks. "No..." I say. The boy wears a frown as he says, "My name is Birch Hawthorne. I'm Gale Hawthorne's kid." My breath hitches when I hear Gale's name. "Why are you here?" I swallow hard. Birch runs his tongue across his teeth- a habit Willow has. "Rye's gone missing," he says. "How do you know that?!... And shouldn't you be in District 2 with Gale!?" I ask.
Birch sighs. "My father left my mother for another. Me and her have lived here ever since," he explains, "And how I know about Rye? I saw him yesterday." My breath hitches. "Was he okay?" I quickly ask. Birch blinks, like he needs to remember. "Yeah... just a little... ratty looking. You know?" he says. Ratty looking? "What do you mean?" I demand. Birch shrugs. "Torn shirt, dirty pants, messy hair. He was missing a shoe, too," he says. Okay, I'm convinced.
"Where did he go? Did you help him? Do you know where he is?" I start spitting out questions, tears filling my eyes. "Well, I saw him by the lake in the woods. And he seemed to be stuck or something between two rocks. But then, he took off his shoe and ran towards the meadow," Birch says. I nod slowly. "Thank you for telling me," I tell him. He puts his quiver back on and opens the front door. "Bye, Katniss."
"Peeta!" I cry. He comes into the room before I can even finish saying his name.
"Gale's son saw Rye- and he said Rye ran towards the meadow," I say. "Wait, shouldn't he be in District 2, then?" he asks. "The kid said he and his mom have lived here ever since... Gale left his mom for another woman," I mumble. Peeta sits beside and puts his arm around my shoulders. "How do you know he's not lying?" he asks. "Because he told me that he saw Rye taking off his shoe in the woods, and I... found his shoe in the woods," I reply, "he also said that he saw Rye running towards the meadow." Peeta stands up. "Then we know what we have to do," he says. "What?" I ask, standing up next to him. "We have to search for Rye in the meadow," he tells me. I shake my head. "He could be anywhere. I doubt he'd still be there," I say. Peeta shrugs. "It can't hurt to look," he decides. I sigh, and grab my jacket.
Considering, the fact that Peeta and I just lost are son, you would think we would be quick to not leave Willow alone by herself. But thinking about how she screamed at me about our 'moments', kinda made me want to lock her in her room until we came back.
But of course, Peeta insisted on bringing her along.
We were wandering through the meadow, the golden sun sitting on the horizon. I kick the daises and buttercups as I walk. Peeta leads us, but we just walk around in circles. And during all this, I have to listen to Willow's crying the whole time. "I miss my brother!" and "We won't ever find him!" and "You're getting us lost!"
I'm ready to scream at her to stop crying, when Peeta stops walking. "Rye!" he shouts. Under the orange and red sky, I see a little blonde head and beady grey eyes, hiding beside a mossy log. "Rye!" I call out with Peeta. We stay where we are, but Willow runs straight towards him. "Ah!" Rye yelps, and disappears over a hill. I put my hands over my eyes and crouch to my knees. "He's okay... he's okay... he's not hurt... he's not hurt..." I chant to myself quietly. Peeta rubs my back, but tears streak down his face, too. Willow throws her hands up in the air, marching over to us. "You scared him away!" she screams. I grit my teeth, but don't look at her. Willow stamps her foot. "I want to go home!" she cries. Peeta helps me up onto my feet, and I wrap my arms around him. "We were so close," I whisper, "So close to getting him back." A salty tear rolls down my face and hangs on my lip. For a moment, as the sky turns purple, I lose all of my hope. Every bad thing I had ever thought swarms my head, but the one thought that's loudest, the one that repeats itself over again, is simple:
I'm never getting my son back.
