Maiko Month: Day one: Injustice
Pairing: Mai/Zuko
Word count: 1829
Rating: M (tw: implied sexual assault, murder, and insanity)
Preview:"I think I can get you out in a month, maybe three weeks if I try."
"You said that a month ago."
"I said i'd try."
By the time she's let out, its been three months. Apparently something went right, since the world wasn't burned to hell. The sun glimmers too brightly, so she hisses under her breath, but there's a few things to look forward to, so the sun was just a small inconvenience.
There isn't much to look at, only squalid details of the floor. She liked it that way—darkness, she guessed, it brought a comfort she couldn't place if she tried. A guard was killed, the metal that impaled his chest came from a single knife she had managed to keep hidden in her robes. It was gone now, so she figured it was put to good enough use. He had tried to touch her after all.
Ty Lee was gone, so that left her alone, seeing someone as a leader came with a price. So, it was only logical she was stripped of her too. Guards slipped in and out, some saying too much, others nothing at all. Since the event with the guard turned dead man, they started to use the slit in the door for everything but changing the thin sheets that covered the mattress on the floor.
—…
"Heard she tried to protect the prince."
"Turned traitor out of being a love sick puppy, pity."
They talk like that, for hours, it's most of what she hears when they pass by. She doesn't regret it though, maybe its a reminder of how fragile shed become. Her thoughts were scattered that day anyway, a lot like the time she'd spent in her cell. There's little dents in the plaster that coat the metal walls, trying to keep track of the days. With her knife gone, it makes it difficult, and she forgets after a week.
—…..
Mai's uncle comes once a week, to make sure she's okay, and talk about 'pulling strings'. She curses him under her breath a lot, but he doesn't know, so she thanks him anyway.
"How you holding up?"
"Great, I can finally atone for my actions."
It's sarcastic and cold, so her uncle only blinks.
"I think I can get you out in a month, maybe three weeks if I try."
"You said that a month ago."
"I said i'd try."
By the time she's let out, its been three months. Apparently something went right, since the world wasn't burned to hell. The sun glimmers too brightly, so she hisses under her breath, but there's a few things to look forward to, so the sun was just a small inconvenience.
—…
The first time they talk it's quiet, there's bandages underneath his tunic, she can see the white. It reminds her of the plaster, and the nicks she could see when the cell was lit. He's beautiful, and she had almost how easy it was to lose herself in his eyes. Just as quickly she forgets the days, and the walls.
"Hey."
He smiles and turns, and she blushes, and remembers she hates it.
"Hey."
"I guess this means you won."
"What makes you say that?"
"You aren't dead."
He seems to frown, so she brushes her fingers against his cheek and followed their trail with her lips. It means she's happy he won, although he's likely an idiot and couldn't figure it out. Pulling away, she smirks at the red that's shows up on his face. Mai let's out a sigh, and softly adds a kiss.
"I missed you."
"Are you okay?"
"Mostly."
Zuko only blinks, and the red fades, as she watches him try to piece it together.
—…
It's weeks later, and he's gone a lot, Fire Lord comes with duties, so she's left to sit alone for hours at a time. Mai reads, or feeds turtleducks, trying to be like him—-trying to make sense of it. She can't, and it bothers her.
Servants moved around like clockwork, like the guards shadows she could see through the slit, its different now, they aren't scared of her. They should be.
—…
Mai's breathing hard, and his hands are on her chest. It's the first time they've tried having sex since she got back. He's gentle, as usual, but as soon and he fumbles nervously with the hem of her pants, and his hands jerk, she screams.
Confusion is written on his face, it's almost indetectable, but since he can read her expressions, she had decided to learn too. Zuko pulled back, sitting crosslegged on the end of the bed, keeping his stomach tight so he wouldnt fall backward onto the floor. Mai follows suit, and folds her arms over her chest, covering her breasts so he can't look.
"What is it?"
"Nothing."
"You didn't want to."
"I did, Zuko."
"But not anymore."
"No."
It wasn't right to leave out the explanation, but she wouldn't blame him if he hated her for it. She'd hidden it from herself after all. The second time he got the guard in the chest, the first—he won. She figured it made them even.
Another few days pass, and he goes on about visiting his sister. It takes everything she has to hide her snarl, but her eyes display her anger and she glares at the floor. It's a bad decision, but she's acting out of pride, so she insists she come along, and through a few well placed excuses, and he reluctantly brings himself to oblige.
His hands are laid casually in his lap. He isn't on edge like before, when she was in chains. The wheels were crooked, small details he had learned to look at when he was little. Being overly analytic was something he thought would help when it came to trying to please his family, it was futile of course, but he still tried. Then, banishment came, and he collapsed, there was no more processing, he was frantic.
Mai was looking as stone faced as ever, the only thing that strayed his path was her fingers that dug into hand. She was nervous, he was too.
"Is she any different now?"
"What do you mean?"
"Last I saw her she tried to kill me." He'd didn't know that in a way, she did.
Zuko stayed silent, keeping his gaze low, looking at the eroded wood of the wheels of the chair his sister would sit in.
_…
She's walked in by four workers, two hold the straps down that buckle around her back, the others on guard in case she tries anything. It would have maddening, for him to see. Her face has sunken, and her hair had grown matted over her grayed features.
The straps look tight, and his eyes have finally moved from the wheels. He forces a smile, and she takes it as a a blatant insult on her condition.
"Zuzu."
"It's nice to see you."
"Don't give me that, what the fuck do you want?"
His gaze falls again, this time on Mai's fingers, they've relaxed now, but the marks from her nails are still there. He almost wishes he never brought her.
"—i'm your brother, I'm supposed…."
"Bullshit."
Mai spoke out that time, he guessed it was because he was behaving like an animal with it's tail timidly tucked between its legs. He wanted to bark back, but he knew she wouldn't let him.
"He's here, because he pity's you."
"Oh, that's ripe, now you're being defended by your lap dog, eh, Zuzu?"
He stays silent, and shoots her a glare, ignoring Mai as she keeps up her retorts.
"He pity's you, because you're here, in hell, he feels—guilty." She's hostile, he can tell, and his fingers have pressed into the arm of his chair, debating when to interfere.
Azula's eyes have started to dart, madly twitching from his face to Mai's as though she's contemplating to batter first. She picks Mai.
"You'd know hell, wouldn't you? I—put you, there."
Mai's brow furrows, and Zuko is standing, he isn't sure when he got there, but his fingers are wrapped protectively around her shoulders. Azula's going on about something, about betrayal,he's gotten the same speech from her before, so he just stays there, keeping his mind focused on the shivers of her shoulder blades, and his gaze locked on his sister's lips.
"Shut up, Azula."
"Tell me, Mai-Mai, is it everything you thought it would be? You brought me here after all, you broke me. Put hell, inside my head. So I wanted to give you hell, back. Did it..work?" her voice is broken and ragged, the syllables sound like nails grinding along metal. She's creating blows, where lightning can't exist, and Zuko thinks she's had enough.
"Mai, come on, this was a bad idea, we're going." His hands have slid to her wrists and he's tugging her for the door.
"No!" Her stoic demeanor had fell, and her lips were curled into a snarl, he knew she was stronger than Azula's response, but now, he wasn't so sure. "You wanted me in hell? You got me there, I hope you're happy…it wasn't just prison."
"Mai, what are you..?"
"They touched me, Zuko."
"What?"
His hand had fell, and his expression mirrored an intense worry. She was broken, and he hadn't noticed, and now he knew there was another failure to add to the list. Animosity overrun the gold of his eyes, and a growl grew in his chest. It was like he was blacking out, and the movements came in frames, until he found himself at his sister's feet, his fingers enclosed around her throat. Azula remained composed, and it almost pushed him more.
"What the hell, did you do?!"
"I didn't do a thing, that's the best part!"
He disregarded the sadistic cackle that followed, and clenched his fists at his sides, no use losing it now. "Shut up!"
"Oh Zuzu, it's only—justice."
Her eyes were more crazed, glazed over with hatred, all for what she had become. Zuko hated it, and he wanted to hate her. He turned on his heel, fighting every urge to turn back and revisit the pressure of his hands pressed against the skin of her neck.
—…
They made it back to the palanquin, and he's shaking. Mai's trying not to cry, having burrowed into his arms and pressed her face into his chest.
"You didn't tell me."
"I didn't want to."
"You should have."
It's a long ride home, even if it's only a few blocks out of town, she doesn't move from her spot, and her grip his tightened loosely on his robes. She finally looks up and she sighs, wiping her eyes before trying desperately to regain her composure. He asks what happened, and she shakes her head, only talking about the guard, and how he fell dead. What hurt the most, he knew, wasn't what he'd done, and it drove her mad, what killed her was the thought, the sharp metal she drove into his chest.
It was calming, only because he finally understood. The night they tried to lie alone, when his fingers jerked, it reminded her of her own, the flick of her wrist as the knife flew, and she was scared she'd kill him too.
"You didn't feel anything?"
"Nothing."
"You didn't want to."
"I did, Zuko."
"But not anymore."
"No."
