Shizuo eyed Izaya from across the silent room, and he rubbed his thumbs on his cup. The raven hadn't looked him in the eye for months, which was only made more awkward when they trained. Shizuo had learned to control his strength and memory manipulation. Along with being able to imitate the appearance of someone from another's memory, he was able to alter memories. He had practiced on a few people, mostly elderly people who were dying. He changed their sad memories to happy ones, and he felt satisfaction when he watched them smile and die peacefully. Even still, however, he would watch Izaya get up and leave every time he did so, not congratulating him on his improvement like he would during strength training.

The two had somehow gotten closer, but the distance was still great. Words were kept simple and point blank to avoid long conversations. Even worse, Izaya had started an underground business that Shizuo knew nothing about other than its existence. He felt like the longer the two's eyes strayed apart, the more their lives would separate. Deep in his bones, Shizuo was frightened that the raven would stop interacting with him all together.

He had been haunted by nightmares of the raven's memories, and the more they flooded in, the more he felt nothing but guilt for listening to the voice in his head. He would see things in every day life that connected to his memories, and he wondered if Izaya saw it, too. The girl he watched fall over the other day: did Izaya see a glimpse of his past?

He wanted to say something, but he couldn't work up the courage to make the raven listen. He didn't deserve a moment of forgiveness, but he craved it.

He was also selfish. Over the months, he became sickeningly dependent on the raven, to the point where his day was not complete unless Izaya made an annoying insult. He watched his face twitch at night, and Shizuo knew it was from his past. All he wanted was to comfort him. He wanted to hold him and tell him it was okay, but what would that do? It would simply remind Izaya that Shizuo bore inside of his head to accidentally hurt him.

He watched the raven cook, watching his shirt lift when he reached for a plate or seasoning. He pursed his lips when Izaya dipped his finger in the food and licked it off to taste it. Shinra had told him hormones were back and forth - especially during the first few months of adjustment. But this was ridiculous considering he and Izaya couldn't even be considered friends anymore.

He closed his eyes, trying to motivate himself to speak up. To make amends.

Shizuo watched as the bag fell, immediately realizing his mistake as the memories flooded in. He stood, his long, black hair falling to the ground and disappearing until it was blond again. His wide hips shrunk, and his chest flattened. He felt the illusion of the clothes slowly vanish to display his usual outfit, but, even being back in his normal body, he knew he would not be able to bring comfort to the horrified raven.

He had put him to bed, and Shizuo sat in the chair, rubbing his temples to try and get the memories out.

He saw a young Izaya, scared and frightened, being comforted by a young, emotionless girl. She asked him something, and Izaya smiled. This girl was the one who's body he mimicked, and he felt sick as he realized who she was.

He saw a teenage Izaya with messy hair and a blank face, punching a wall until his knuckles bled. He watched the girl grab around his waste and whisper something in his ear. He rolled his eyes and smiled, continuing to punch the wall.

He watched Izaya grab the girl's hand and run out of a large building, thousands following behind them.

He watched as Izaya stood in front of the girl, staring at soldiers behind guns with a look of protection covering any fear he may have felt.

He saw the back of Izaya, and in front of him, Shizuo guessed it was the girl. All he saw was legs and a blood puddle growing beneath the raven's feet.

He saw as Izaya turned around, eyes blank and empty, face cold and emotionless. The only sound he heard, for the first time in the memories, was a faint whimper from the raven himself. 'I'm sorry, Namie.'

He watched as Izaya's eyes were painted white and his hair gained a reddish hue. He watched as a smile grew on his face, and the brand on his cheek become more than a scar. It ran red and seemed to pulsate. He watched as Izaya began laughing, holding his face to contain himself. He watched as the body twitched, and Shizuo imagined Izaya was trying to calm himself.

He saw the bodies of thousands, littering the ground underneath Izaya. He watched as Shinra and Kida and others stood behind him. He watched as Kida grabbed at a gun and transformed it into a cannon. He watched them shout something, a look of struggle painted on their faces. He watched as Izaya turned around and walk away. He saw Izaya leave the very village he saved.

He watched Izaya's unrecognizable body slaughter again and again. He watched as he fought with himself in private.

He saw Izaya slide down a wall, the white melting away from his eyes. The raven gasped, putting his hands in the air to make sure it was really him.

He saw Izaya still fighting.

Still fighting.

He kept fighting.

Izaya flicked a lighter, and there was Shizuo.

Shizuo sighed. The memories gave him a headache, but he knew he just couldn't sit there and let it fester. Sure, he tried apologizing, but Izaya refused to listen.

He had to make him listen. He finally breathed in, and he stood.

"Izaya."

The raven didn't say anything, but he made a small, "Hmm?" behind his closed mouth. Shizuo watched as Izaya instinctively look as far away from Shizuo as possible.

"I want to talk... abo-"

"I don't." Izaya continued stirring his dinner, eyes hard fixed on the contents.

"Izaya, I can't keep sitting in silence."

"We talk."

"It's not the same. You can't even look at me." Shizuo was close to pleading now. He wanted Izaya to know he never meant to hurt him. He needed Izaya to know that.

"That must be tough."

Shizuo could't help it. He grabbed Izaya, slamming him into a wall behind them. The raven yelped, wincing at the impact. It hurt, a lot, but he shut his eyes tight and only opened them when he was able to control his eyes to stay fixed on the floor.

"Izaya, please. I didn-"

"I know you didn't mean to do anything, Shizuo. Just leave it alone."

Shizuo frowned, squeezing the raven's wrists even harder. The Original cried out, eyebrows furrowing. He scowled, shooting his blades from his wrists and watching them poke out of the blond's hands.

Shizuo looked down at them before lifting Izaya up the wall, ignoring the sting of his skin being continuously pierced. Izaya's eyes met Shizuo's for a second, and he quickly looked away. Not before, however, Shizuo watched Izaya's eyes widen and soften.

"I'm sorry, Izaya. I just...wanted to know what I could do."

"So did she." The raven spat, eyes finally locking onto the mocha ones. Shizuo's eyes widened, as it was the first time Izaya mentioned her.

"She just wanted to know if she could win. If she could be like us. If she could be just as strong. But she couldn't, Shizuo. She couldn't... do it. Because her brother..." He looked away. "He was the soldier in charge. Blood before blood was the creed for soliders like that. Human blood shouldn't be spilled because of the life of one mutant freak - no matter who that freak is. She couldn't kill him, Shizu. And he could kill her."

Shizuo sighed, letting the raven down. He slid down next to him. Izaya groaned, laughing to himself.

"I don't miss her anymore. Shizu, it was 100 years ago. It feels like it, anyway. I haven't been sad for a long time. Seeing her, though... It reminded me that I am mortal. I don't want to die, y'know." Izaya smiled, looking over at Shizuo. "Looking you in the eyes was hard because... you aren't human anymore."

Shizuo's eyebrows furrowed, staring back at him in confusion.

"You aren't... You," he tried to collect his thoughts, "None of us had a choice, and neither did you. They would probably let you guys back home, with survelliance. Us? No. We'd be left here to live an eternity of this because we aren't as human. And you aren't, either. It just reminds me that we are all as disposable and... Replaceable."

"You aren't replaceable, Izaya."

Shizuo inwardly smacked himself for sounding so lame, but Izaya laughed.

"Is that an attempt to make me feel more human, Shizu?"

Shizuo didn't realize how much he really longed for Izaya's voice until their conversation lasted longer than he imagined. He felt relief, relaxed that Izaya wasn't angry or sad. He was having an existential crisis, sure, but he was, at least, not planning to berzerk.

He looked over Izaya and smiled.

The two lied in bed, Izaya staring at the wall, and Shizuo staring at the ceiling. Finally, the raven broke the tired silence.

"Why did you want me to forgive you so bad, anyway? It's not like it matters what I think. If you didn't feel comfortable, you could have gone back home."

Shizuo sat up, sighing.

"I couldn't go back home now, Izaya. First of all, you stole half of the food supply-"

"You would have starved, idiot."

"You ate most of i- Ah, nevermind that. Secondly, I do care what you think, Izaya. I didn't like you being mad at me."

Izaya turned over, staring up at the blond.

"I wasn't mad at you, moron."

"Stop insulting me, you damn flea."

"Anyway-"

"Don't blow me off, flea."

"I just didn't know how to explain it without you losing all respect for the big, bad 2."

Shizuo sighed, shaking his head.

"You aren't 2, Izaya. And I don't have any respect for you, anyway. You're a total asshole. But I do think you're a person I don't want to lose, in a weird way. I feel like I've developed more because of you, and what would happen if the reason I'm growing as a person and as an offspring just disappeared?"

Izaya smiled, waving his hand dismissively.

Shizuo pursed his lips and grabbed at the waving hand. He gulped before pulling Izaya in and kissing him.

The raven didn't have time to think or react before Shizuo pulled away, letting go of the hand.

"I...I'm sorry. I just... We were talking, and you-"

Izaya pushed the blond on his back and crawled over him, smiling as his knees held him up from either side of Shizuo on the bed. The blond gulped as Izaya smirked.

"I don't think you're replaceable, either."

He kissed Shizuo, letting his tongue convince Shizuo to join him. The blond obliged, running his hand up the curve of Izaya's back. The raven backed away, kissing the blond's jawline as Shizuo's fingers dragged on the pale flesh slowly, memorizing each bump of his spine.

"Izaya..."

"Hm?"

Shizuo sat up, causing Izaya to quickly wrap his arms around Shizuo's neck to prevent from falling.

"I'm glad you're looking at me, again."

Izaya huffed, crawling off of Shizuo and sitting next to him.

"Being corny is a turn-off, Shizu, but I'm glad, too. You aren't the ugliest person I know."

Shizuo scoffed, turning around.

The raven smirked. Watching Shizuo squirm in his seat for months, desperate for his attention really was fun, but, after awhile, it stopped being fun. It had emerged as revenge for having the audacity to prod in his thoughts.

"Shinra, what's wrong?"

The doctor sighed, patting Celty's hand and smiling weakly. The woman signed back at Izaya to respond for him. "You know how interacting with the berzerks wears him out." Izaya nodded, sipping on his drink. Shinra, however, shook his head.

"It's not that. There's something about Shizuo," he groaned, rubbing his temples. "The voice... It was calm. When we get angry, the voice gets angrier, egging us on. His... voice was calm. It wasn't shouting at him. It wasn't telling him to get mad. It was just...talking. Telling him to see what I really thought of him. 'Poke into his brain,' or something."

Celty sat down, signing, "Haven't you done that before? Give someone the ability of the Originals?"

Shinra nodded. "That's the thing, though. Most of them either went berzerk on spot or wouldn't be able to cope like we had to. All of us had to cope, become emotionless and empty to be able to survive. It wouldn't work for an offspring, considering they don't have to kill people they come to know after years."

Celty frowned, looking at Izaya.

"So what does this mean, Shinra? I don't get it."

Shinra closed his eyes and opened his mouth, but Kida slammed down his cup and spoke for the first time that night.

"Anri's voice was like that. Look what happened to her. They coexist until it takes over and morphs them into someone different. Just like Anri is now a sadistic killer working for the Core, Shizuo is going to end up just like that if we aren't careful."

Shinra nodded.

"He needs to be watched, Izaya. Don't let him interact with his voice. Don't let him push himself too hard."

Izaya sighed, chewing on his cheeks. Keep him close, keep him happy.

He had to distance himself emotionally from Shizuo to be able to kill him when the time came. Shizuo just couldn't know about it.

_

I'M SO SORRY, GUYS. I have been sooooooooo busy, but I hope you enjoy this chapter. I didn't know exactly how to include Celty in this story besides for making her mute. So boom! She's mute, and I'll talk about Izaya teaching Shinra and Kida sign language to be able to talk to her. BUT YES. I love all the positive reviews I'm getting. I'm gonna cry. You guys are so nice.

Please enjoy this chapter!