AN: Rarely do I ever write in this perspective. But this is basically a bit of Zuko's thought process/stream of consciousness during the book 3 finale.


Reunited


I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. See you at home.

These are things I wish i'd said or-wanted to say. Little things. Like, that I like your hair, and that you made me happy for a while. I wish I could say you still do, but right now, I can't.

My father said, people who care about attachments are failures. I don't think I believe that anymore. Because, if I didn't care about something, I wouldn't have made it this far-and neither would you.

This is something of a thank you, I guess. Thank you for saving me, thank you for not listening. But it is also a way to express the hatred you've caused. I hate everything you've done for me simply because you shouldn't have. Simply because it hurts. It's selfish of me, to blame myself for this, for you.

You gave me my life, in return for what? Surely my sister knows, but asking would be a game of charades and I always lose. I wish I hadn't left you behind, I wish I never wrote the letter. Would that change things? Would it change me sitting here staring at the robes almost regretting them-almost?

I want to know what you said. I want to know if you were scared, if you were still angry with me. But mostly I want to know if you still felt the same way.

My mother used to say I had to be patient. If I wanted something enough it'd come, with just a little effort. I've been working hard to do that, every little bit counts, except when I turn that corner, and I see you, it's not quite the same.

I didn't work for this, I didn't fail a thousand times to see you again. I sat on the bed, stared at the heavy robes my father used to wear, and just tried to forget.

I won't tell you that. Not even when you turn up and i'm certain that you hate me. I won't tell you I love you even after you kissed me, not unless you say it first. I'm not telling you how much it hurt, or that I was upset, or even that i've never been quite this happy to breathe in your scent.

This is something of a thank you, remember? Thank you for not letting me take the blame, and thank you for coming home.