Chapter Nine- Caterpillar

Peanuts. The yellow label seemed to be mocking her as everything around her slowed down. All she could take in was the sight of Emma's slight cough every couple of seconds, her blueish lips and finger tips and the yellow candy wrapper. Peanuts, she could see the fear in Emma's eyes as the little girl desperate tried to take in huge gulps of air, only to come up short.

"Hey honey, can you open up your mouth for me?" Robin asked the little girl, trying to see if he could physically see what was blocking her airways. The child clutched at his shirt desperately, before opening up.

"Her throat is swelling up Regina! Is she allergic to something? " Robin looked towards his best friend noticing she was in shock.

"Ruby said nuts!" Henry's quipped when the light bulb went off in his head.

"Shit!" Robin quickly scooped Emma up, before rushing out to his car. He always kept an Epi pen in there for Roland, in case the child ever got stung by a bee. However he knew the dosage was specific to his child, and Emma was far smaller and far younger then his boy. He figured he would give it to her anyways, because it wouldn't matter if in a few minutes she could breath at all. He laid her out of the back seat before ripping open the package, his body went into robot mode, as he grabbed her thigh tightly and quickly administered the shot. He let it stay there for several moments, making sure she got the correct dosage before he picked her up once more.

He carried her to the door, and urged the boys to go wait in the car.

"Regina come on, we have to get her to the hospital." Robin watched the woman look at him blankly, feeling his frustration mounting.

"Regina lets go!" He barked at her watching her flinch. He felt bad, but he knew it served its purpose when the tears welled up in her eyes.

"Emma!" Regina rushed forward to check on the still silent child. Robin passed her the blonde once he was sure she wasn't going to drop her.

"Get in the car and I'll drive!" He ushered her to the car. Regina chose to sit in the front.

"Emma baby look at me." Regina cooed, running her hand up and down Emma's cheek until the girl was looking at her. Her breathing was still erratic but it wasn't as dire as it had been several months ago. The fear was almost tangible in wide green eyes as the child gasped heavily.

"Mama is she okay?" Henry asked from the back seat with Roland. Robin was driving over the speed limit while still trying to stay safe for the children and Regina.

"She's gonna be fine, Henry." Regina assured him wishing she could do the same for herself. Robin pulled into the Emergency entrance and immediately someone was rushing out to the car to greet them.

"What happened?" The nurse looked at them expectantly before taking Emma and placing her on the gurney.

"MOMMY!" Emma rasped out objecting to being separated from Regina.

"My son gave her peanut M&M's and she's allergic to nuts." Robin answered ushering the kids and Regina out of the car.

"He gave her the Epi shot." Regina said drying her eyes.

"What is your daughter's name, age and weight? How long has it been since the shot was administered? How much time had passed between the known allergen and the administered medication?" The nurse asked as Robin went to go park the car.

"Her name is Emma, she's three and a half. She's around 20 to 25 pounds. Everything happened less than twenty minutes ago." Regina answered missing the nurses disbelieving look.

"She's three and a half?" The nurse raised an eyebrow.

"That's what I said!" Regina snapped before Robin came back over.

"What are we still doing out here? Shouldn't we be inside?" Robin frowned

"Nurse- Shelia? Is it? Is doubting that Emma is three and a half!" Regina never raised her glare from the woman.

"I can assure you she is just small for her age." Robin confirmed scooping up Roland before grabbing Henry's hand.

"If you'll excuse us!" Regina sneered stalking into the hospital doors.

"Mama is Ruby gonna come?" Henry pipped up, as Regina mentally cursed herself.

"I have to call her, once everything gets settled." Regina told the young boy who simply nodded. They walked over to the check in station as the nurse greeted them with a kind smile.

"We're looking for my daughter, she just came in a couple of minutes ago." Regina informed the nurse at the desk.

"She won't be in the system yet. If she's a child she'll be on the third floor in pediatrics." The woman gave them a kind smile and they were off.

They had been in the hospital waiting room for an hour and a half, the paper work was filled out to the best of Regina's ability in between her trying to call Ruby back to back. The brunette never answered but Regina knew she had gotten the call when several times it went to voice mail on the second ring. She finally decided to go into the bathroom to leave the brunette a voicemail.

"Will you pick you your fucking phone? Forget about your pride for a moment or your freaking feelings. Emma is in the hospital right now and we- she needs you! I don't know what to do, please Ruby." She had went from angry to frantic to down right pleading by the end of the message. Slowly she went through the process of washing her hands and face with cool water before patting them down. She exited the bathroom and saw a stricken Robin talking to a man in a white coat. Regina quickly made her way over.

"This is Emma's mother."Robin quickly introduced the two.

"Hello Mrs. Mills, is it? I'm Doctor Whale, Emma's head doctor." The man shook her hand looking down at the clip board briefly.

" How is she?" Regina asked immediately

"There were some complications on arrival. I'm sure as you are well aware the Epi shot is not a guarantee. When Emma was admitted she still presented significant swelling, and she wasn't getting enough air in her lungs or her brain. She was exhibiting signs of respiratory arrest by the time she was brought up to pediatrics." Doctor Whale informed her.

"But how? She called out for me, she was still breathing after he gave her the shot!" Tears welled up in Regina's eyes.

"The shot he administered indeed saved her life, it bought her some time for all of us. Once Emma started exhibiting signs of combativeness accompanied with her respiratory arrest, we decided to place her on a ventilator system. We are trying to give her lungs a break by breathing for her, giving her a heavily concentration of oxygen that will replace the C02's. Once she exhibits that ability to breath properly on her own, we will try taking her off the machine." Doctor Whale explained.

"But is she going to be okay?" Regina was trying to stop from sobbing.

"We are doing all that we can for her Mrs. Mills. She is in good hands. We are transferring her to the Peds ICU right now." He gave Regina a small smile before his pager had him rushing away.

"Oh my god" Regina gasped before sinking into a chair.

"Gina, she's gonna be okay." Robin tried to comfort her.

"She's on a freaking breathing machine Robin! She nearly died because of me!" Regina hissed, tears blurring her vision.

"This wasn't your fault. Roland and I didn't know of her allergy, if I had I wouldn't have let him bring in the candy. It was an accident, these things happen." Robin spoke softly trying to be gentle

"I was the one who told her to go over there. I thought they were playing with a toy or something." Regina shook her head before looking away.

"Look you need to pull yourself together. For both of your kids as well as yourself! Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and lets go find out what room they put your daughter in!" Robin said firmly wanting Regina to snap out of it.

"He said they were taking her to the Peds ICU. I think its on this floor." Regina cleared her throat before wiping her face.

"That little girl adores you, I've only known her for a couple of days and I can see she loves you." Robin reminded her, earning a small smile.

"Mama is Emma gonna be okay?" Henry looked at his mother with those same wide green eyes.

"The doctors are taking very good care of her, baby." Regina scooped the six year old up and put him on her hip. The hug he gave her, settled her feelings enough for her to think straight.

"I didn't mean to hurt her TT. I just wanted her to like me." Roland's bottom lip quivered.

"Roland you didn't hurt her, it was an accident." Regina parroted Robin's previous words, while running her hand through his hair.

"She not gonna be mad?" A big fat tear rolled down the five year old's face.

"She's gonna be chasing you around in no time. She won't be mad at you." Regina assured him.


Nothing could have prepared her for seeing Emma's petite frame in that too large crib hooked up to various machines. She had tape covering fifty percent of her face keeping tubes attached to herself. Her little hospital night gown was open and she could see a small incision that connected to a feeding tube, and a diaper. She had been in the process of potty training the tot so it was weird not seeing the princess themed good nights. Emma had always been small for her age but in that bed right now she looked no older than one and a half instead of going on four. Her long pale blonde hair hung limply in the scrunchy that Regina had put in earlier.

"Go in, the kids can't. Too many germs." Robin nudged her towards the door. Needing no further prompting she walked in and stood by her child's bed.

"I'm so sorry baby. I should have been paying more attention." Regina whispered grabbing Emma's hand. She felt the little chubby palm twitch slightly, bringing a small smile to her face.

"Once you wake up and are feeling all better. I think I'm going to take a leave of absence from work. I'm gonna take you and Henry to Disney World so you can meet the princesses and make Crush from that movie you love so much . I'm going to do better by you, I promise." Regina vowed, kissing Emma's hand before heading to the door.

"Do you think you can keep Henry? I don't- I can't. I need to be here." Regina breathed out, looking pleadingly at Robin.

"Yeah, stay with baby girl. It's no probably I'll keep the kids busy." Robin nodded just as Ruby came barreling around the corner with a reluctant Marian in tow.

"What the hell happened?" Ruby looked accusingly between all of them, ignoring Robin's glare.

"Watch your language around the children." Regina warned, feeling her anger welling up. The brunette had been ignoring her and Emma but she had found time to hang out with the person who made fun of a child's disability.

"Well excuse me when I get a vague voice mail saying one of my case loads is in the hospital." Ruby bit back.

"Case load? Is that all she is to you now?" Regina scoffed watching Ruby falter slightly.

"Yes Regina, excuse me for trying to remain professional." Ruby replied

" You should have thought about that before making her care so deeply for you! You didn't give a damn when I would call you because she wouldn't stop asking for you. You didn't care because you are a coward. If you think I'm going to sit up here and have you look at me like I'm guilty of something!" Regina retorted.

"Well Emma is in the hospital on your watch!" Ruby knew it was a low blow the moment she said it.

"You weren't there! You don't know the situation, so instead of pointing the finger you should be trying to see how Emma is doing." Robin glared at the woman.

"Robin what are you doing here? Hi Roland." Marian waved at her son like she didn't birth the boy, Roland simply hid behind his fathers legs.

"You know her son?" Ruby asked.

"I'm his god-mother but that is neither here nor there. I don't think your presence is required here any longer." Regina replied coldly before turning her back on the brunette.

"Look we are all here for Emma. How is she doing? What happened?"Ruby asked exasperatedly

"She had an allergic reaction, the Epi pen didn't work as good as it could have. They put her on a ventilator to give her more oxygen." Regina replied stoically, looking through the glass at her toddler.

"What?! I specifically told you that she was allergic to nuts! Why the hell-" Ruby was cut off.

"I didn't give them to her! YOU don't get to sit up here and judge me when you abandoned us! You promised you'd help me with her but the moment something happened you tucked your tail in and went running!" Regina sneered at her catching Ruby by surprise.

"What does she mean something happened?" Marian screeched

"Not now!" Ruby glared at the darker woman before she grabbed Regina by the elbow and led her away from everyone else.

"Why are you so angry at me?" Ruby asked once they had some privacy.

"Are you serious right now? You've been ignoring me for damn near two weeks! I'm the one who had to practically force feed Emma because she was so upset that you just left. I soothed every night terror, sometimes multiple ones a night! When she woke up every morning asking for you, I was the one who had to deal with the disappointment! Then you blame me for putting her in the hospital...I thought I could be a bitch." Regina chuckled wetly, but her voice lacked humor.

"I didn't mean to blame you, I'm sorry. I thought it'd be best to separate myself from Emma because she was becoming too attached and it wouldn't be healthy." Ruby rubbed the back of her neck.

"What could a three year old have possibly done to make you run like that." Regina glared her down.

"She called me Mama! When I told her I was just Ruby, she was so upset and said I didn't love her anymore!" Ruby hissed. Regina waited three seconds to respond, and before she could stop her hand reached out and connected harshly with Ruby's cheek. Both woman seemed startled by the physical contact.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Regina clutched the hand to her chest, horrified at her actions. Ruby sighed deeply ignoring the throbbing in her cheek knowing she deserved it in a way.

"Regina..." Ruby spoke softly while reaching out to the distressed woman.

"You left because she viewed you as someone who would love her and protect her unconditionally? You know better than I do that Mary-Margret wasn't what she should have been for Emma, but when she saw it in you, you just ran." Regina shook her head in disbelief

"You don't understand! I just can't be somebody's mom! I never had one, I don't know where to start! My mom was just like Mary Margret, she was addicted to drugs and alcohol!" Ruby tugged on her hair in frustration.

"You were doing fine until you left. I get it if I made you uncomfortable... but she just wanted you to love her as much as she loves you." Regina cleared her throat.

"I do love her! You didn't make me uncomfortable, I was just as much apart of whatever it was that was going on. You were right, I was a coward but I'm here now. That's if you'll let me be." Ruby looked at her hopefully.

Should she? I won't be updating this for about a week until I finish up a chapter for Earned It. I figured the slightly longer than normal chapter would make up for it. All mistakes are my own.