There was silence in the studio, the camera was aimed at the guests..., someone was missing..., you guessed it: The host. Ever since the previous episode nobody has seen him. He is probably dead considering what happened...
"REALLY!?" "Yep, here." He held a purple cup; Neptune snatched it from his hand. Opening the pack, she was about to dig in until,
"Hold on… Purple… What kind of pudding is this…?" She gave Acell a suspicious look. "Oh, it's prune, nothing to worry about." "Really…?" She got a nod in response. "Alright then!"
She took a big scoop and chomped down on it. Then she stopped dead in all her movement "Nep? Are you alright." Then she flopped to the ground and started wildly flailing for a few seconds, after that she stopped moving.
...
Yep, he messed with Neptune's favourite snack... That didn't end well for him...
"You fed me eggplant pudding…" Light bursted from her. "What do you plead…?" She transformed...
"Uh, uh, n-not g-guilt…" Acell took steps back. "Oh, Neppy, let me help punish this naughty boy, I've done nothing but watching~" "Of course, he needs severe punishment for trying to poison a Goddess."
"Uh, please mak-make su-sure to spread the ne-news abo-about this show, and make sure to tune in n-next epi-episode. I-If I'm still alive…"
"Acell…" "Do I at least get 5 seconds…?" "Go." And with that he sprinted as fast as he could, "SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!" "OH, I love running prey, let's see how hard he squeals after we got him!"
With that they flew after him.
"THAT WASN'T FIVE SECONDSSSSSS!"
"So what did you two do to him?" Noire looked at the Planeptune CPU's. "Oooh, we juuuust taught him a lesson... He shouldn't do bad stuff to Neppy..." "He messed with my pudding, he got what he deserved."
"You didn't kill the guy, right?" IF gave a suspicious look. "After a half hour I sorta ran out of steam and gave up, dunno what Plutia did to him after that."
All eyes were on the UltraDimension Goddess. "I did nothing to bad to him, I'm suuuure heee is juuuust fine..."
...
Yeah, no, Plutia's levels of being 'fine' are NOWHERE near an acceptable standard. The UltraDimension Noire took, what, 5 hours of punishment and SHE was a bumbling mess for half a day. She was a Goddess, Acell is a normal human, and if he somehow DID survive he is probably brain-dead by now.
"Soooo, should we just leave or something, I mean if Acell isn't going to show up there is no point in staying here is it?
Uni had a point, with no host nobody will continue the show, and I doubt that any of the girls is going to answer the questions themselves.
...
GA-THUNK! GA-THUNK! GA-THUNK! GA-THUNK! Repeat that with a few action shots for different camera angles of course.
Everyone looked at the double entrance door, in the light that came in from outside stood a figure... It... Can't be... him...right? ... Who am I kidding? We all know it's him.
"You were expecting the end of the show..."
He stepped into the studio, stopped and pointed at himself with his thumb.
"But it was I! Acell!"
...
Add cricket noise for extra effect.
...
"D-did I mess it up...?" He was expecting a reaction, BUT it was silence he got.
What? We already butchered the joke, might as well continue butchering it.
"No reaction...? Was I wrong then..."
...
Yeah, keep referencing; copyright isn't going to knock on your door anytime soon.
"No copyright law in the universe is going to stop this show for having another episode!"
...
...
Can that be striked as copyright infringement?
By now Acell stood on the stage. "How are you still alright? I mean no offence, but after what happened yesterday, it's impossible to still be alive." IF questioned him.
"I just walked it off," That earned him blank stares.
...
...
...
"Okay, enough lame jokes, I can almost feel the viewers reaching for the remote, anyway, let's get on to the submissions. First up, I want to thank: Franzotaku04, Gigarot, BlazingEdge, The Klade, Nep Fanclub Girl, Konami izumi and G.N. Over-Kite for their submissions!"
"Hmm, 4 of the 7 submissions are by people who send something in the previous episode, not complaining of course, I'm happy you guys still enjoy the show. Special thank you to you guys for your dedication!"
Acell looked at the big screen, "let's start with The Klade."
If you are still alive and reading this, then I thank you for tanking for me. I have a space empire to run and it's kinda hard to do it when you're dead.
A question (especially to the one I may have offended a little):
If one were to make amends with them, in what form would be ideal?
Accel, since I'm worried about your health, I'm sending Compa some bandages to help patch you up.
"I mean who wouldn't like Plutia's punishment, everyone should experience it sometime..." He half-lidded stared into the camera. "Anyway, Neptune?"
"Pudding... Lots a lots of pudding..., and gimme a space station while you're at it."
"That you would as for pudding is a given one, but a space station? Why would you need a space station?" "Why wouldn't you want a space station?"
"...Fair enough, having a space station does sound interesting. Moving on..., I appreciate you are worried about me since I stared death in the eyes for you but there is no need for Compa to bandage me up."
"Oh no, that wouldn't do Ce-Ce! You need to properly bandaged by a certified nurse!" He turned to her with an undignified look. "The heck you're talking about, I'm fine, no external damage, no internal damage and no mental damage..., as of yet... Plus you aren't even a certified nurse! I heard you have wounded more patients than healed them!"
"Don't worry... nurse Compa makes sure alllll the ouchies disappear..."
She approached him with the bandages; her eyes were closed with a peaceful smile... It was obvious there was malicious intent behind that smile...
"Uh Compa, you don't need to bandage me, wait! No! Sta-argh!"
"You need to stay still! I can't bandage you if you move that much!"
"Bandaging me!? More like murder me by suffocation!"
"Under here~ Over here~ make a little ribbon there~" "Argh!? Can somebody please get this woman off me!? I'm gonna die! I'm seriously going to die! UHWAAAAAAaaaaa-" His struggling ceased as he slumped.
"Ce-Ce? Ce-Ce!? Ce-Ceeeee!?"
I'm pretty sure you know what to add here.
A few minutes later.
…
Awkward stares were exchanged as they watched Acell lying on the ground in the fetal position mumbling about this show being the end of him and writing his testament just in case.
"Hey buddy-boy, we need you to continue the show or whatever…" Neptune poked him.
"AGH! NO! I'M NOT READY TO DIE YEEEET! THERE IS SO MUCH I HAVEN'T DONE YET!"
She raised him by his collar, "Get back to your senses!" She slapped him…, except the open palm you do it with was replaced by a fist…
Everyone stared in silence as they just witnessed Neptune punch Acell square in the face. "Opsie-daisy! Forgot you slap someone with your palm, not the fist." She playfully hit herself on the head while sticking her tongue.
It took him a moment after that to recover again.
"I'm fine now, thank." "Really now? I thought we lost ya back there." She let go of his collar; Acell got up and dusted his clothes off.
"Let's just forget that and move on…, BlazingEdge is next."
Oh gods, I wondered what would have happened if Neptune had Eggplant pudding.
May I ask what do you fear the most besides losing shares and have IF go without all her phones for one episode?
"I should have known something like that would have happened, I mean she murdered monsters because they delayed her pudding eating time."
"Pudding, I would DIE if pudding wouldn't stop existing!" Many eye roles after that statement of the century.
"Noire?" "C-cosplaying for large audience, I would die of embarrassment…" She said with a huff.
"… You know you are still in your maid outfit and this is a live show right? We are visible for whole Gamindustri…" Acell raised his eyebrow.
"At least I don't have a million eyes on me!" "Again th-" "You know what I mean!" She whined. "Fine, care to answer Blanc?" "My books of course, they are very important to me." And she sank back into her book. Acell let an annoyed sigh out; once again ignoring the fact Blanc wasn't paying any attention.
"Vert? Game-related?" "Of course, it would be most disastrous if no more games would be released."
"M'kay, IF, I'm sorry, but I have to take your phones." "What!? No stay back!" "Come on it's just for the rest of the episode." "NO, THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!"
A while later…
…
IF was lying on her seat clutching a dummy phone, babbling like a baby.
Insert stares towards Acell here.
"Yes, I feel bad too, honestly..."
(Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii- also known as the Japanese sound effect for staring, but I bet you have watched enough anime to know this.)
Acell released another sigh. "Next up, Nep Fanclub Girl."
Aww Neptune and Noire are so cute together~ xD Nowa-chan! Can I violate Neptune? XD
And it's true that you have a chibi Neptune plushie made by yourself hide on your bed? I read it in Uni-chan's blog so it's true right? XDD so cutee!
Uni-chan too, have you a Nepgear... Something? o.o
"We aren't cute together! You don't know what you are talking about! Argh, of course someone out of Neptune's fan base would say such stupid things!" "Come on Nowa, you are over exaggerating." Neptune rubbed her cheek against Noire's. "Get off me…" She pushed Neptune half-heartedly. "Also stay away from Neptune."
"Aww, you defended me, I knew there was something inside your chest, beating for little ol' me!" "I-idiot, Even through I don't like you, I'm not going to let some crazy fan grope you." "I get it, I get it." Noire sighed in content. "You don't want anyone else to touch your treasure~" Noire facepalmed. "I give up…" "Hold up Nowa, about that plushie…" "I have NO such thing!"
Noire then proceeded to grab Uni by the shoulders and shake her relentlessly. "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU POST THAT ON YOUR BLOG." "I-I beeded zomeding to post on it-t-t-t-t!"
"Okay, it official," The host smiled. "Noire can not live without a piece of Neptune in her life." "NOT TRUE! I CAN EASILY LIVE WITHOUT NEPTUNE!" "Objection!" He sharply pointed at Noire.
"I have the ultimate piece of evidence that will chain you to the truth!" She was silent for a moment, imagining what he possibly could have against her. Then it hit her… "No…, you don't mean THAT…., y-you wouldn't dare!" Acell's eyes darkened dangerously, "Oh, really now? Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't…" "U-uh Uw-wa…"
This was it… After this Noire could never show her face to public! She would have to leave Lastation, she would have to change her name, her appearance, everything…
Acell sighed. "I'll spare you this time," "Wha? Really!?" "Yeah, you have been embarrassed enough, I'll keep THAT a secret." Noire looked like she was ready to cry in joy. "Thank you…"
"So Uni…" "I have a Nepgeardam, there!" She turned away with a huff, "I hate to admit it but it is an impressive piece of technology…, coming from Planeptune…" "Ahh, Uni…" Nepgear was kind of flattered by that.
"Moving on! Konami Izumi's send in please!"
Hi! nwn
I have time with this doubt, so...
if all current CPUs were created by the same goddess, it does not mean that they are sisters?
How do you all feel about that?
Nep and Noi have an incestuous relationship? Jajajaja XD
"You know, that a good question, The CPU's were created by the same Goddess, Arfoire and Histoire were their guardians. Care to clarify it for us Histoire?"
"But of course, it is my pleasure to educate everyone about the history of Gamindustri." "Hmm, we are missing something…, yo, narrator."
Wha? Now you are breaking the 4th wall? Does nobody have respect for it?
"That's not important, what is, is that Histoire doesn't have emoticons at the end of her sentences."
Sooo what? You expect me to fix that? "Yep." And that you are breaking the 4th wall and that you are talking to me isn't important to you at all? "Nope." … I don't get paid enough for this… "You don't even get paid in the first place!" Exactly.
"JUST FIX IT." FINE!
Cheapasshostthatdoesn'tpayhisemployees.
"You're just a voice!"
"Just like Miss Izumi said, the CPU were indeed –created- by the Goddess, no birthed (°ロ°). None of them share the same DNA. Of course this does not apply for the CPU candidates, their DNA corresponds with the DNA of their respective sisters (^̮^)."
"Thank you, Histoire, I hope that answers your question. As for the rest…"
"As long as I can tease Nowa I wouldn't mind~" "Having Neptune as a friend is more then enough stress… And we aren't even in a relationship so get that thought out of your head."
"Having these three around me would be too damn noisy for me." "Ah, I were Neptune's sister that would mean I'm related to Nepgear, who is the little sister of Neptune.. AH!~" Vert moaned that last bit in bliss, "I would finally have Nepgear as my little sister!~"
"Vert…" Nepgear sighed. "I bet the candidates wouldn't mind being sisters, seeing that they are pretty much as close as sisters."
"Yeah! We would always be together, we could play game or read picture books or watch tv together!"
"Uh-uh." It seems the Lowee sisters were in an agreement. Nepgear and Uni shrugged, silently agreeing that it didn't sound that bad, being together like that.
"Alright I left the best for the last… hehehe… Franzotaku04 and Gigarot!"
Franzotaku04: (A request for Noire)
Hmhmhmhmhm... The maid outfit has been set *evil grin* I have prepared the most horrible torture... You must serve Neptune and do everything she says!
Gigarot: Now I want Neptune to try teach Blanc than dating someone would be a lot more fun and interesting than the book she's reading. She can use Noire to help her if she wants to.
Noire promptly forgot that she still had that Maid costume on. "I'm taking this off right now!" "No, you won't!" "Yes, I will!" "You have to do everything I say, and I want you to keep it on!" "Darn it!"
"So…, how are we going to do this…?" Neptune looked towards Noire, "Don't ask me, you were asked to teach not me." "But Noiry you are supposed to help me." "Let me just say this." Blanc grabbed their attention. "I ain't going on a date with anyone, don't waste your time." "But Blaaanc, It will be fun~"
"Just like that time you said it would be fun to have a 4 days long gaming marathon fuelled by 30 Nepbulls for each of us?"
Neptune winced, she remembered the aftermath of that little stunt, the CPU's were pretty much dead after that. They would just lie on the ground, unmoving and unresponsive. It took them a week to recover…
"It won't be that bad, I promise." Blanc pondered it; she knew that Neptune wouldn't stop unless she would give in. Blanc sighed exasperated. "…Fine… But don't think I'm going to enjoy it or anything."
"Is she seriously okay with this!?" Noire thought. Yes, she is. You know that Neptune can be quite persuasive. "Can you stop reading my thoughts?" No, I can't. "Why!?" Because it's funny to see people staring at you when seemingly talk to air.
Noire was getting stared at again. "What are you all looking at!?"
"Step 1! Dressing for the date!" "Hold up! I don't need other clothes, what I'm wearing now is just fine!"
"Gasp! Blanc you have to look good, you can't wear your everyday duds to a date!" Starting of great eh?
"How many 'steps' are there?" "About 10." Blanc wasn't too happy about this… "Yo! Acell! We are gonna need wardrobe for a sec!" "Hmm? Fine I guess." "Hell no! You aren't getting me in there!" A panel opened under Blanc. "SHIIIIIIIIIII-!"
"Thanks broham! You're coming with me Noiry!" "Wait! Hold oooooooooo-!" Neptune just grabbed her by the collar and dragged her into the open panel.
"Until they are back, let's continue with G.N. Over-Kite's submission..."
All right, looks like it's time to ask some who didn't get asked...
For Rom and Ram, are you two able to mimic the other sister? It sounds like it would be adorbs and full of prank promise!
Iffy, Iffy, Iffy... Your teenage delusion syndrome is as secret as Noire's cosplay hobby! Just what has the demon of infinity granted you today in your mind?
Vert-Vert the Vert-Vert, the time has come... If 4 Goddesses Online was going to shut down after so many years in order to upgrade into a new MMO..., you would follow suit, right?
BUT, what if the new MMO demanded more of your time, and all of a sudden Nepgear and Peashy BOTH want to be your little sisters, but that in itself would take up the same time... Which would you choose?
Thanks for your time! Keep up the good work!
"No, thank you for watching! This show couldn't continue without submissions, again a big thank you to everyone who watches and sends stuff, yes even a thank you to everyone who just watches. It brings a smile to my face when I see the viewers count rising after releasing a new episode!"
"So, Rom, Ram?"
"OOH, we practiced that didn't we!" "Uhu, it took us a long time but we did it." They got up and stood in the middle of the stage. "Ready Rom?" "Yes." "Do it!"
Rom summoned her staff, did a twirl collecting blue energy on the tip and on the third twirl she threw the blue sphere at her sister. It created a large sphere around Ram and after a few seconds the sphere broke. And there stood a second Blanc.
"Wow," Everyone was kind of impressed by that little trick. "Isn't it, like, the coolest thing you ever saw!?" Everything was perfect…, except the voice, that was still Ram's. The sisters high-fived in celebration.
"Thank you, Rom and Ram for showing that little trick, IF?" She rolled her eyes in slight annoyance, "If you need to know it so badly, I came up with a new attack." "Care to share?" She looked away, blushing a little, muttering, "Dark Matter Blaze…." "Thank you. Vert?"
"Of course," She crossed her arms under her chest. "It would be interesting to see in which direction they will that the game, and I wouldn't mind spending more time into it," She let out a confident smile, "I already spend 75% of the week on gaming, I would raise it to 90% in an eye blink if it meant spending more time in an interesting game!"
Disclaimer: The producers of HyperDimension Neptunia: The Show DO NOT condone over excessive gaming. Please make sure to take rest once in a while, DO NOT forget to eat and DO NOT play in a poorly lit room.
"But, ah, having TWO cute little sister…., what a predicament!" She held her cheeks, blushing.
"Vert? Are you okaaaaay…" Nope, by now she lost herself in het fantasies, mumbling how they would love her, call her 'Onee-chan' and other stuff…
...
That was the moment the floor opened up again, and Neptune, Noire and Blanc rose up. "We're back!" "Hey, welcome baaaaack…" Neptune and Noire were covered in bruises and had rips in their clothes, although Noire suffered less.
"Let me guess, Blanc struggled a little." "A LITTLE!?" "She was like an ancient dragon, but of course nothing for the protagonist of all protagonists!"
Blanc was dressed in a light blue sundress, had frilly wristbands on and had a small blue and white-checkered ribbon in her hair.
"Wow, Blanc, you look pretty cute in that." The host snickered a little, "Shut up, I'm not cute…" She blushed. "Good, cuss you are going on a date with her buddy!" "Oh, that fine-" "WAIT! WHAT!?" Blanc and Acell finished together.
"Welcome to Aldenia, may I have your order?" "Yes, I would like to have a Horsebird Steak and a water please, what are you taking Blanc?" You might have guessed it, Blanc and Acell are on a date…, yeah… It also didn't help that this is one of Planeptune's most famous restaurants.
"Just give me a Night Moon Grass Salade…" "A Horsebird Steak, a water and Night Moon Grass Salad." The server nodded and left to give our order to the kitchen.
"Relax a bit, you are way to tense." "Relax? RELAX!? I'm sitting in a restaurant with YOU! People WILL get the wrong idea!"
"First off; Ouch. Second; Freaking out isn't going to help anyone." Blanc took a deep breath, "I guess that's true, we are only going to draw more attention…"
….
Some minutes later.
…
Their server brought the pair their food. They were quietly eating it, drawing as minimal attention as possible.
"Sooo, do… you have any hobbies…?" "Hmm?" Acell took a moment to chew the piece of steak in his mouth. "That's an interesting question coming from you." "I'm only asking it because I won't hear the end of it from Neptune if she thinks that out 'date' wasn't 'date' enough for her, plus she is sitting over there…" Blanc pointed to her right, a few tables ahead was indeed Neptune sitting in a horrible disguise that was a purple dress with a large hat.
"I like to read, I enjoy reading in silence once in a while." "Huh, I would have never guessed." "Hey, despite how I act I'm still a nice person. Gamindustri just needed some excitement." Blanc was silent after that. "Maybe this isn't as bad as I thought…"
…
After talking some more, finishing their food and Acell paying for it, the pair was walking through downtown Planeptune.
…
"So anything else you want to do?" "Not sure…" "… Wanna go to the book store?" "…Sure…" They took a left, walking towards a big bookstore. Blanc looked around, she has bought A LOT of books, you could name a title and she would probably have it.
Blanc stopped dead in her tracks after seeing one specific title in the selves… "No…, it's out!? How did I miss it!?" It was the last copy too… She franticly searched her pockets. "Damn!" Her wallet was in her other dress…
She ran, searching for Acell. They she grabbed him after finding him, "What's uuuuuuuuuuu-!" She dragged him back to the place were her book was and let him go after reaching her destination.
"Ugh, what is it?" Acell groaned, getting up from the ground. "I need you to buy this book for me." "Huh, why? Don't you have your wallet with you?" She glared at him. "I guess not, how much is that thing? 5000 Credits? That's acceptable."
"Really?" "Uhm, yeah, that isn't a bad price." Blanc grabbed the book of the shelf and hugged it to her chest.
…
The pair was walking back to the studio in silence. Blanc stopped walking, Acell noticed and stopped walking a few steps ahead.
"What's wrong?" She lowered her head; a shadow fell over her eyes. "I…I h-haven't properly thanked you for buying the book for me." She looked at him, closed her eyes, cocked her head and smiled. "Thank you."
She continued walking, Acell stood there for a moment. Who thought Blanc could act like a cute girlfriend…
Back in the studio.
…
"We are back." The rest of group looked at the pair. "Welcome back!" Compa and Plutia greeted. "So how did I go?" IF inquired. "You had a good time loverboy?" Neptune and Noire walked over.
"I wasn't that bad actually, I actually enjoyed it, what about you Blanc…"
And Blanc was reading her little book. Acell narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "Seriously, after all that just happened you're just gonna read again!?" He stepped towards her, firmly grabbing the book and pulling it from her. "Hey! Lay off!" She pulled back starting a struggle.
"Can't you just wait until we are done!? WHAT THE HELL CAN BE SO INTERESTING!" "You have no right to see it!" "Complete bull! I bought it for you! I have all the rights to see it!"
Then he finally pulled it from her hands. "Alright, what makes this book so in…terest…ing..." Blanc trembled, shocked. "What the hell…" Acell froze after seeing certain little pictures in that book. Blanc threw her head back, yelling into her hands. He saw IT…
Stepping back she grabbed Noire by the right shoulder for support, visually shaking. She took small steps towards Acell, letting small grunts out until she lurched forward smacking Acell straight on the heart with her palm.
"Uhk!" The blow to the chest forced him to throw the book into the air while slumping to his knees.
Blanc crouched before jumping into the air, trying to snatch it out of the air, missing it the book fell to the ground were Noire picked it up.
Landing on the ground, she snapped her head towards Noire who was holding the book… She was blushing madly; she couldn't comprehend what she was seeing…
"Whatisthis!?whyareyoureadingthisstuff!?youshouldntbereadingstufflikethis!?"
"NAAHG!" Blanc slowly walked over to Noire, grabbing her by the ankles Blanc pulled her making them both flip before slamming Noire into the ground which she rebounded off, spinning a few more times in the air before landing face-first on the ground…
Meanwhile the book flew and landed back on the ground behind her to the ground, Blanc got up and turned around. A daring hand went to the Blanc's book. "Oooh, is this Ya-" Blanc answered with a firm roundhouse kick to the stomach…
Vert was also on her knees now, holding her stomach and forehead to the ground. Noticing that the book was missing again she turned around…, Neptune was holding the book. "Yep, this is definitely a Shonen-ai manga..."
SNAP
"RAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
She grabbed Neptune by the ankles like she did with Noire and flipped her… Neptune rebounded, span and plopped on the ground like Noire…
Grabbing the book from Neptune, she raised her right hand to her head, groaning some more…
Nobody spoke, everyone was stunned by the display before them…
She walked to the studio door, pushed them open and simply left…
…
…
Moral of the story…, NEVER interrupt Blanc when she is reading…, also if you read things like that, make sure other people don't see it…
...
Uhm, Good-bye and see you next time…?
