18. The Immovable Object

Lying on her side in front of the fireplace in her father's study, Lucia was afforded an excellent view of the source of her frustration. Maybe I should have called him "The Clam", she groused. He was seated at her father's desk going through his correspondence, wearing a deep red pants and vest outfit that would have looked ridiculous on anybody else, but made him look rather like Romeo, she thought. Except that Juliet was being completely ignored.

She herself had taken great pains with her appearance, putting on "The Dress". The one Katrina bought her after she broke up with Michael, when she had been so depressed and crying that she would never have another boyfriend. It was a sheath made of aquamarine silk, beautifully fitted, and demure… except that it had a slit on its left side extending up to her hipbone. Lucia had only worn it once before, at the installation party for the new ambassador to Kakin, and she knew it had power because she hadn't even made it around the room before she was swamped with attention.

"Illumi," she pouted.

"Hmm." He was right next to her, because the desk had been placed with its back to the fireplace, so anyone entering would see the Minister backlit from the firelight.

She rolled over onto her stomach lifting up her feet and crossing them at the ankles. She had already kicked off her shoes. "You won't find his phone journal there." She looked up at him, with her head resting on her right hand.

"No?" At least he was looking at her now.

"No. It's over here." She reached under the rug where she had hidden it, holding it beneath her chin.

"I understand. I don't need it yet." He returned his attention to the papers on the desk.

This cold shoulder was driving her crazy! He was probably mad at her. She owed him an apology for the day before yesterday. It wasn't entirely true that she didn't remember anything about what happened. It was just kind of jumbled together, reality with past dreams that she'd had, so she wasn't sure what was real and what wasn't, until the adrenaline rush from lack of air brought her to full awareness. Everything he said had the embarrassing ring of truth to it, but he had been so calm and self-assured. And after he got her to admit that mortifying part about how she had thought him to be a fantasy…she had wanted to get him. But how do you get someone you don't know anything about? And despite having replayed in her mind, over and over for years, the scattered moments she had spent in his presence, there was only one thing she knew he truly held important. She had heard it those many years ago in his defense of Mike on Kukuru Mountain, and she had heard it again from him, just then, as she was recovering from his kiss.

So she hit him… right in the Zaoldyecks. And she had connected too, judging by his return blow of Nen. Never had she felt such terror and helplessness. Even so, when he released her from his aura, she cried not from fear of that, but because he had actually come to see her, after ten long years, and now she had foolishly driven him away. She didn't hear what he said to her when he crouched down. But as soon as he was within reach she grabbed him. She had it in her head that she would just hold onto him so he couldn't get away, ridiculous considering his strength, but then she remembered what he had said about her needing a bodyguard, and there was her answer.

Except he wouldn't tell her why, or anything else she wanted to know either.

She walked on her knees over to his chair and looked up at him. "Illumi, you don't have to look through those papers. I already have."

"You don't know what I'm looking for." He studiously avoided looking at her.

"The reason I don't know is because you won't tell me." She looked down at his lap and began to draw little designs and circles on his leg with her finger, just as she had been doing on the rug.

Nothing. "Why do I need a bodyguard, Illumi?"

"Your life may be in danger."

An answer, but one he had given before. "What makes you think that, Illumi? And this house is surrounded with armed guards. Why do I need you, Illumi?"

Silence.

"That was your pin thing, wasn't it? You did kill Chairman Dewalt, didn't you? Who asked you to do it, Illumi? Are you supposed to kill anybody else?" Then a sudden awful thought, her hand stopped its idle motions and she looked up at his face again. Her voice softened almost to a whisper, "Illumi, can you…would you…kill someone you were guarding?"

At last he turned his head to look at her and tonelessly replied, "No. You can't guard someone and kill them at the same time."