Chapter 2: Loyalty

I've been training under Captain Levi for two months already, going with him on occasional missions to apply what I've learned. Thanks to the training, I've only had to transform once ever since I was taken in by Hanji. And it was by order, too, not by choice. Come to think of it, I've only been taking orders from Levi. It didn't take too long for me to form an attachment to my Captain. Despite having my own room, I was always staying with him in his office when I didn't have any training. In fact, I'm almost always following him around like a shadow. So I tried to make him some tea once, to show him my thanks for putting up with me. Once he took a sip, he asked me what tea it was.

"Black tea, sir."

"...Your tea is shit."

"I'm sorry, sir, I've never had tea before, let alone prepared it..."

"Tch." He pulled out a teabag from one of the drawers of his desk and dipped it in his cup. Well, that fixed the problem. I just loved those kind of days, when I had a chance of figuring out his inner thoughts. He was always so cold towards others, yet I've always had the feeling that there's actually a warm, loving heart deep within his muscular chest. 'Wait, what? Why am I thinking about Captain's bare chest?!... n-not that I've seen it yet...' I tried to hide a blush and hoped he wouldn't see it. Well, I guess I got a little too attached to the somewhat attractive man. After all, we were perfect together, regarding our heights. But... I shouldn't be hoping that I'd ever see his affectionate side. I'm still just his Cadet L/n, a woman with a not so common ability to transform into a titan and at the same time is a terrible tea maker. 'Hmm, I just can't help it. I always wonder what he thinks of me...' I thought as I looked at myself in the mirror. 'I can't help wondering if... he thinks I'm attractive...' I looked at him, sitting in his desk doing paperwork again. He seems frustrated. "Is there something wrong, sir? You look bothered by something.." His gaze slowly shifting to the side, where I was.

"None of your businesses, Cadet." He went back to his paperwork after that cold statement. I shrugged 'Meh. Maybe he just dislikes paperwork.'

After a while, I got really sleepy. It was already late, and I didn't feel like getting up to walk back to my room. Before I knew it, I was already asleep on his sofa.

~~~Levi's POV~~~

'Is she fucking kidding me? Did F/n seriously just fall asleep sitting up on my antique sofa, drooling all over its pristine pillows?!' I got up and tried nudging her awake, but she's sleeping too fucking soundly. Great. I gently took the ruined piece of furniture from out of her arms and looked at her shitty innocent face. "Tch. This is what I get for pushing you too hard in training, huh?" She moaned, probably unconsciously agreeing to what I said. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I sighed. 'She isn't waking up soon. And I have to clean her spit off my pillow before it dries. Then I still have a bunch of shit to file. Damn paperwork.' I took a breath and carried F/n into my room, just beside my office, placing her on my bed. At least she seems more comfortable now. 'Well, back to work.'

~~~The Next Morning, F/n's POV~~~

"Mmm~... Hmm?" I woke up in a bed, and it's not mine. 'I'm pretty sure I fell asleep on Captain's sofa... ' I sat up and I realized where I was. '...Am I in Captain Levi's room?!" I jumped right off the bed and left, right after fixing the bedsheets, of course. Knowing how much of a clean freak my Captain is, he would most likely kill me if he finds his bed all messed up and unmade. I turned to look at a clock just before leaving the room. "Breakfast time is almost over! I've got to get something to eat before training starts!..."

I sprinted down the halls, towards the dining area where Captain, Hanji, and all my other superiors had their meals. I was told that I'm supposed to eat together with the other Cadets, but I just refused to. Besides, Hanji and I are best friends and she preferred me to stay there, anyway. I quietly entered the dining area, trying to be as discreet as possible, but was welcomed by the sound of Hanji screaming my name from pretty much across the room. "F/N! Good morning! I thought you'd miss breakfast again! C'mon! Take a seat! Over here!" "Eh... thanks..." Now everyone's noticed me, so much for being discreet. As I sat beside her, a piercing gaze was shot at me from across the table. "Tch... Late again."

"I'm sorry, Captain. I failed to hear your wakeup call..."

"Whatever. I'm still making you do extra laps later. EVEN MORE laps if you didn't fix my fucking bed."

"I did, sir!"

"It'd better be, L/n." He grumbled and continued to sip his tea, holding the cup at the rim, as he usually did. I heard that he holds his cup like that because the handle broke off when he first drank from a teacup, but I'm not sure whether it was true or not. I think it's really cute, the way he drinks like that, if not sexy... 'Wait, what?... Ugh, what's wrong with me?... I have to eat!' As I was finally going to shovel my breakfast into my face, a messenger came in and announces that Titans have attacked the Trost District. 'OH COME ON! THE FOOD'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!...' I just grabbed the nearest piece of bread and followed my Captain to get ready for battle.

~~~Time Skip to Trost District~~~

Captain and I were running on the rooftops as he reminded me of our strategy. This is how I learned, after all, being on the field and making spur of the moment decisions. "Don't transform unless needed, or until I say so!" "Yes, Captain!" With that, he leaves me and goes after the Titans to our left. Now, all I have to do is chop them down, follow orders, and enjoy the feeling of adrenaline coursing through my veins.

~~~Levi's POV~~~

I was slicing napes and bringing down the ugly bastards as I caught a glimpse of F/n's show-offy moves at the corner of my eye. She looks like she's having so much fun with the Gear. It's almost... beautiful, the way she does it. It's like she's dancing; the thing she loves to do the most. And she doesn't seem to be afraid of being grabbed, or worse, being eaten... which reminds me, "...Aberrants, to my left... Tch, filthy beasts..."

~~~Y/n's POV~~~

"WHOO!" I took down yet another 15m-class Titan. This sure is a lot easier than chasing after them one by one as a Titan. But I shouldn't get too comfortable just yet; I have a limited amount of gas, so I should be focusing more on the efficiency of my attacks rather than showing off... But then again, it wouldn't be as fun as it is now... "Hyah!" This time, I decided to do Captain's spin attack, which is both showy AND efficient. "Nailed it!" Another Titan drops down, dead, by my blades.

Most of the techniques I use were taught to me by my Captain. I remember how he keeps telling me "don't show off too much", followed by a smack to the back of my head. I try not to, but I just can't help it~ It's just so fun getting to do somersaults in midair!

After a while, the Titans start to seem to be coming from all directions, and more soldiers are getting killed. I looked to my left and saw a group of Cadets, all tired and out of gas, being cornered into hiding in an evacuated building. A couple of Titans were closing in on them fast. As I was about to head over there to help, I run out of gas as well, causing me to fall to the ground. "Oh, shoot." I shook off the rough landing and decided on transforming. But as soon as I was going to cut myself, I heard Captain Levi's call of distress. He was about to be eaten by an Aberrant. 'Why can't he fight?... Sh-should I?...' I was torn. I looked back at the trapped Cadets and thought really hard. '...It looks like that building should hold for at least five more minutes... I'll make it quick!' And with that, I transformed, charging at Captain's direction at full speed. "Hold on, Captain!" I punched the Aberrant, and snatched him out of its hand. I set him down gently on the roof of one of the houses and continued to try to take the Titan down. "Ugh! Stay still! I'm running out of time!" I couldn't latch myself on its back to bite its nape out. It just kept moving and flailing around. I struggled to a point that Captain found an opening and took it down himself. As fast as I could, I made my way back to the Cadets, but it was too late. The Titans broke into the building faster than I thought they would and killed all of them. Men... Women... Dead. The sight of their bodies being torn apart by the very savage beasts I took the form of was sickening as guilt and regret slowly turned my stomach. But I can't think of this now, I have to keep doing my job. "Suck it up. There is no place for emotion in the battlefield." I repeated the words of my teacher, my Captain, under gritted teeth. I moved on, continuing to take down Titans in my path.

~~~Later, Levi's POV~~~

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, L/N?!" I was burning with anger as I slapped her so hard that it threw her to the side. She looked at me for two seconds, face full of hurt, and shifted her gaze back to the blood-smeared pavement. Tears started streaming down her bruised cheek as she raised her hand to her face. "I-I'm so sorry, Sir... I tried..."

"But not hard enough!"

"I know!... Sir... I thought I could save both you and the others... but-"

"No shit! By saving the life of just one person, many others were lost to those fucking monsters!"

"I-I just couldn't risk losing the only loved one I still have..."

"But didn't you think that many others lost many of their loved ones then?!"

"... I love you, Captain..." She looked back up at me, with shitty pitiful face of hers. "... PLEASE PUNISH ME, SIR!... B-beat me up,... throw me in prison,... starve me,... p-please do! I deserve it... I'm a terrible person for making such a selfish decision!"

I couldn't contain my anger any longer and kicked the shit out of her weakened body. The disgusting sounds of her pain and agony along with the sound of flesh being brutally beaten pierced into my ears as I held back a tinge of mercy to my disdain. It felt terrible, deep inside, knowing that she'll be back on her knees and asking for more after a few minutes of pure abuse. I stopped and pulled on her hair to make her face me. 'Your face looks like shit. My boots are filthy, too, now that they're covered with your blood.' I stared at her battered figure for a moment and threw her back down. "Tch. You're just pathetic." She looks up at me again and wipes the blood off her face. There was no hate in her eyes. I'm starting to feel regret for giving her what she asked for. "Get up. We're heading back to the headquarters. Or do you want me to leave you here, too?" I stood and turned to walk back to the horses, not expecting an answer, but then I heard her cough and spoke with her damaged vocal chords. "Thank you, Sir..."

~~~A Few Days Later~~~

Nothing's changed since our return from Trost: F/n still serves me tea, although it seems as if she's getting better at preparing it. She still cleans my office like she usually does. She still spends her free time with me, and still follows me around like a slave. Her words were still kind and full of respect, never once calling me by my name. 'I love you, Captain...' her words resonated in the back of my mind. 'Is this why she's still doing what she does, or is it because I gave her brain damage and made her forget about the whole ordeal?...' There was that, and the regret for letting my temper get the best of me. I have to go and apologize... somehow...

~~~F/n's POV~~~

"It still hurts here and there, but I'm fine, Hanji. I can heal fast, after all." I reassured my dear friend after telling her about what happened and why I came back all beaten up. "Geez, Captain Shorty could've at least just let you off with a warning!"

"No, no. I asked for it. And it's all in the past, no hard feelings." Our conversation was cut short when Captain Levi approached me. "Cadet L/n, may I have a word with you, in private?" I nodded farewell to Hanji and followed him outside. "Do you recall the time I beat you up?"

"Yes, Sir, and I remember well that it was my wish to punished as such."

"And do you remember what you told me?"

"Huh?" I wasn't exactly sure of which specific words he was referring to.

"Well, whether you remember or not, I'll tell you what I have to say about it now: I am sorry."

What? Is he seriously apologizing?! "F-for what, Sir?.."

"For being too rough on you back then. Now I realise why you would make such a decision. I know what it feels to lose the people I love, and I understand why you would choose to save me first..."

"?..." 'What is he saying?'

"In all honesty, F/n, I appreciate the fact that you admire me that way..."

"C-captain?... Y-you don't hate me?..."

He shook his head and I felt tears prick my eyes. I'm happy that he understands, and I'm happy that he accepts the way I felt about him. I wanted to hug him, but formalities force me not to...

~~~Levi's POV~~~

I noticed that she's holding back not just tears, but the urge to hug. I sighed. 'I guess I shouldn't ruin the moment for her...' I opened my arms, welcoming her to hug me. And she did, tightly. "I love you, Captain!" She said into the crook of my neck. It actually feels nice to be hugged...