Legolas was waiting for him in his room when he returned, perched on the windowsill by his balcony as if he did not have a care in the world. The sun glinted off his hair and scattered into a thousand shards of light and he looked at him anew, with the knowledge of his love. How beautiful he was, how untamed and wild, how luminous his soul. And he wondered how he had failed to notice as Legolas had slowly, gently wound tendrils of green and gold around his heart.
"What do you look at Noldo?" Legolas said quietly, as close to serious as he had ever heard him.
"Your beauty," he said with a smile, "for I do not think I have seen it before, not truly."
But Legolas tossed his head at that and he knew he was not happy with him.
"And how is your brother?"
"He is angry." He thought he may as well be honest although all he wanted to do was pour out his confession, I love you, I love you, I love you...
"How so? Are you not allowed any pleasure then?" Legolas seemed to be genuinely confused and he could not help but smile at that,
"I am. Of course I am. He is angry he did not know."
"So pleasure but no privacy? Is that what it means to be a twin?"
He shook his head, he did not really know how to explain this and it felt as if Legolas was deliberately misunderstanding.
"He is angry I kept something this important from him, this serious."
"Oh," Legolas raised his eyebrows at that but his tone was all sarcasm, his words sharp. "And is it important Noldo? You have failed to tell me that also. I thought I was a lowly woodelf to be cast aside as soon as you were seen with me. Only good enough to be in secret...is that it?"
Then he knew he had truly hurt him when he panicked and fled his embrace at Elladan's arrival. It had been cruel, he saw that now but how could he fix this?
With the truth?
"It is important! I am sorry for that, It was just ...Elladan...I knew he would be upset...You are important, of course..." he was handling this badly, he knew he was and this was not what he wanted to be saying at all.
" I told him I love you."
And then there was silence.
He did not know what he expected Legolas's reaction to be when he told him, he had hoped, he supposed, he would at least be pleased. He did not expect what he got...a frown, disapproval. His stomach fell...what would he do if he was not loved in return? He hadn't thought of that.
"You should not have done that." was Legolas's quiet reply. He did not think he had ever seen him so still and he felt the beginnings of his world collapsing around him.
Legolas did not love him.
"I am sorry." He did not really know what it was he was apologising for...for loving him?
"You have never spoken to me of love. You should not have told your brother before me."
"I did not know!" he cried, "I did not speak of it to you because I did not know! Neither of us have spoken of it, you or I." He was desperate to defend himself and was taken by surprise when Legolas leapt to his feet in anger.
"How can you say that!" Elrohir flinched as the words rained down upon him. "How can you? when I told you right from the beginning. Before them all I told you. Aragorn, Gimli and your brother!"
He could make no sense of this for what did he mean? And at first the real meaning of those words eluded him.
"What do you mean Legolas? You did not."
And then he remembered, a flash of memory crystal clear, Legolas, bright, shining, glowing with happiness lounging in his chair, laughing with Aragorn, 'what would you say if I told you it was love,' he had said and the corresponding flip of his own heart when he had heard that.
"You cannot mean that..." He breathed and yet he realised he must. "You were teasing Aragorn. You were not serious. None of us took that seriously Legolas."
"I was serious, why would I joke with your heart...and mine?."
"I did not know." It was then that it hit him. "You love me?"
Had he ever heard something so sweet? He did not think so.
"It was just the beginning, we had barely begun you cannot have known then Legolas." Why was he denying it he wondered when he wished with all his heart for this to be true?
Then Legolas approached him, He stood in front of him and his anger had vanished, bled away, he was soft and gentle and loving as he cupped his face in his hands.
"I have known since before we began. I have known since you arrived in Rohan, since I first watched you. But why would a Noldo Lord look at me?" His hand brushed against Elrohir's hair spilling the fine straight darkness through his fingers. "But you did. You did see me."
He loved the way Legolas lit up as he smiled, he realised as he watched him. He loved everything, all of it, the light, the sun, the waywardness, the parts he did not understand.
Legolas's hand hovered over his heart, fingers barely touching, grazing across his skin.
"How do you survive Noldo, knowing so little of your own self, your own heart? I have waited so long for you to find it. I had begun to fear you never would."
The soft lips brushed his, the sunlight filled him and his heart soared. He was home.
After as they lay together and he was filled with wonder at the singing of his heart he remembered his brother and the clouds descended for he knew then what Elladan had said was true. His decision was made. He could not leave this, he would follow Legolas, it would crush him if he did not. His heart would not survive.
They had promised to decide together for neither of them wished to make a choice, somehow it was better if the punishment was a shared one. He has betrayed his brother and left him behind.
He was startled from his bitter thoughts by the touch of Legolas's fingers as they brushed away tears he did not know he shed.
"My Treasure, why do you cry?"
"I have failed my brother." He said, he wanted no more secrets, no more misunderstandings between them.
"We promised we would choose as one but I have made my choice without him and taken his from him as I did so."
Legolas frowned in consternation,
"He will make his own choice surely?"
But he shook his head for that was unthinkable.
"He will follow me. There is no other choice."
Then Legolas bent down towards him and rested his head on his chest, his warm body against his, and sweet, healing love flowed through him, melting the edges of those dark clouds which accosted him.
"And what do you choose Noldo?" said Legolas, "I need to hear it."
Legolas had been right of course all along, when the time came he knew exactly what his choice was. There was no other.
"I choose you."
