AN: I am so sorry about the wait….. I had some serious writers block. The first paragraph stayed on my computer for at least 2 weeks. Also had some drama with where I was going to live my last year of college. Any who….. big chapter this one. I noticed things were moving slowly so this one is going to have a lot in it.
EMMA POV
All her life, she'd been a witness to the true love of her parents. Being their daughter, it was always expected for her to find her own. She'd always imagined what it would be like when she met him, if she met him. As she felt herself being pulled into Grahams embrace and lips, she couldn't help but think… maybe she answered him too quickly. Although their first kiss was nice and sweet, it wasn't what she'd imagined feeling when she pictured her first kiss with her true love. The overwhelming sensations she expected to feel, the butterflies sure to fly out of her stomach, warmth felt all the way to her toes, and the escalating beating of her heart.. well she searched for them all as he kissed her, to only find none of the expected.
When he was down on one knee, there were so many thoughts that she had to sort through. Her parents had always urged her to find him, her true love that is. Was it Graham? She really cared about him, and she would admit to herself that she did love him, in a way. But for some reason, when he proposed to her and kissed her. There was only one face that came to mind, Killian's.
When she looked at Graham trying to give him an answer, in his eyes she saw Killian's blazing blue ones. What was he going to do when he found out? She almost said no. But, then she saw the look on her parents faces. The look of excitement, joy, and happiness for her. They must believe that he was her true love, and if they had theirs, they would know. Right? Since there was a lot of things in life that she wasn't completely sure about, Emma had always trusted the opinion of her parents, she told her mother just about everything in her life, so she knew Emma better than anyone. As she looked at her, she could see that this is what she wanted. When she finally did say yes, a look of pure joy crossed his face, and her parents' faces. For a moment, everything was almost alright.
Until they led her back into the ball room to announce the engagement…. Graham held her newly ringed left hand as they followed in behind her parents. Her father cleared the area where they had musicians playing their favorite melodies.
"Ladies and gentleman," Charming started, "to those of you here today you know how big of a day it is for my beloved daughter, she is the highlight of my life and I grow to cherish her more and more every day. I couldn't have a better daughter even in my dreams. That is why, it gives me a great honor to announce her engagement to the only man I will ever trust with her life and my kingdom. I would like to propose a toast to the future rulers of my kingdom and my people, to Graham and Emma!"
As yells of encouragement and cheers rang through the crowd the smile she had glued on her face faded when she saw Killian. When their eyes connected, he looked confused, and another emotion that she couldn't quite place. When her father brought both of them close for a hug, she lost sight of him as she hugged them both back. When they separated, her eyes searched for Killian again, to find the space he once stood taken by another face she did not know. She narrowed her eyes and began to search for him, when she saw a recognizable mop of black hair walking out the door back towards the main hall
"Give me a moment, I'll be back." She told Graham and her parents.
She ran out the door, following his coat tails, "Killian! Wait!"
He stopped in his tracks, but he didn't turn around.
She caught up to him at the top of the steps and stood next to him, "Where are you going?"
"I think it would be best if I left." He said still not looking at her.
"Why?" she said trying to hide the hurt in her voice.
"Well, seeing as you're now engaged, I believe you will be busy for the rest of the night, being congratulated and being asked when the wedding is. I frankly don't want to be around for it." He said coldly.
She gasped, he'd never talked to her like that before, she'd never heard him use that tone with anyone, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, your highness. You should go back, they will be wondering where the bride to be is." And with that, he walked away, and she was left there, on the steps of her home watching him go with tears in her eyes.
She stayed there for who knows how long. It was Elsa that came out to get her.
"Emma, are you ok?" she asked placing a hand on her shoulder.
"I don't know. I don't know what I've done. Killian just left and he seemed so upset. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by marrying Graham." She admitted.
"Then why say yes in the first place?" she asked her.
"I didn't realize what was happening, then I saw the way my parents were watching. They looked so happy and so excited for me. I didn't want to disappoint them. I know they love Graham."
"Emma, you're the one who has to love him. Do you?"
She thought about it, and thought hard. The way he made her feel when he was around and the rides they took every day through town or through the woods. He was always such a gentleman. He was her first best friend. She used to be able to talk to him about anything when she was a little girl. "Yes. I do. But it's different, I feel like it's not the same as the true love my parents have. It's more of a feeling of being comfortable and safe."
"Not all true love is the same. Maybe this is what yours is supposed to feel like? The description your parents have of their true love may be different from yours because you aren't them. Everyone is different." She said wrapping her arms around her best friend. "Congratulations, Emma!" Elsa told her hugging her tightly and walking her back inside. Emma fought the urge to turn around to see if Killian was still in sight.
After her birthday, the days and weeks flew by. Planning and dates and invitations, everything happened and it felt like time hadn't stopped in weeks. She didn't seem to have time for anything. Two weeks after her birthday and engagement, she finally got a free moment and darted to see Killian. As she ran she thought about the last time she'd talked to him. Pictured the look on his face, something was wrong that night, and she needed to find out what it was. In her hand she held a wedding invitation, she wanted to give it right to him is what she told her parents, but in all honesty, she missed him and really wanted to see him.
She didn't knock, just walked right in. The main room was empty and dark, the table was littered with unfinished projects and something big in the back corner. She heard voices coming from the back. Following them, she opened the door and saw Killian there, but as she opened the door further, she saw that he wasn't alone. There was another girl with him. She had dark brown hair, tanned skin and brown eyes. She didn't look familiar.
"Oh, hello." She said awkwardly stopping in the doorway.
"Ah, hello Emma." Killian said, "It's been a while, good to see you. Emma, this is Milah." He introduced.
The other girl came over and shook her hand politely.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, I just came to say hi. I'm gonna go now." She said hurriedly, desperately wanting to leave and feeling terribly awkward for interrupting whatever was going on.
"No, you don't have to leave. How are things? How's the wedding planning going? I've heard a lot's going on quickly, are you guys going to have a short engagement? Your father approached Gepetto and I about making the archway for the ceremony." He said pointedly.
She felt her face blush, "it's going well. Invitations are out, which is why I'm here." She said handing him the lace covered wedding announcement, " the wedding is in 2 months."
"No rush, right?" he said not looking at her.
"Graham didn't want to wait."
"Do you have any choice in what happens to your own life?" he asked harshly.
His tone made her gasp. She felt like she'd been slapped, and as soon as he said it, she could see the regret in his eyes. She couldn't look at him, and she saw Milah glancing between them awkwardly. She placed the invitation on the table gently.
"Come if you want, it's your choice. And yes, I do make choices, I chose to say yes." With that, she turned and left, shutting the door behind her. She walked back slowly, replaying their interaction in her head the whole way back. They had never had harsh words between the two of them, much less interactions like what just happened. Who was the girl he was with? They seemed to be getting along well before she barged in, they were laughing and talking. Then when he accused her of not having a choice in her own life.
How dare him. She had control of her life, didn't she? Here recently, she admitted that she felt that control slipping. Everyone around her was so happy for her, so could it really be that bad of a thing? She was the only one who could stop things.
As she walked up to the steps, she saw Graham waiting for her talking with her mother. When he saw her, he gave her a brilliant smile and held out his hand for her to take.
"Emma, you look beautiful today. How was your walk?" he asked giving her a small peck.
"It was good, I gave Killian his invitation." She said kissing him back. They easily fell into a three way conversation about wedding things and other details. She looked between everyone and felt content with everything in her life for the first time since Graham proposed. She stared up at the man who would soon be her husband, and she saw a strong leader with a good heart who loved her. She really couldn't ask for more.
The wedding was in a week, her dress was finished and sized and she loved it. She stood in front of a floor length mirror with her mother and Elsa. Her veil measured 9 feet long, and her dress clung to her curves all the way to the floor where it fluffed out at the bottom. She couldn't stop looking in the mirror trying to decide if it was actually her in the reflection.
"You look stunning my dear." Her mom said with tears in her eyes. Elsa was speechless. No one had seen her in this until today, and they would be the only two to see it before the wedding, no matter how much Graham and her father begged.
A knock on the door had her running to change out of it before anyone else could see it. it was her father.
"Emma? Are you still in here?"
"Yes, I'm changing what is it?"
"Killian is here! He brought the wedding arch."
His name had her gut clenching. They hadn't spoken since she left that day. She wouldn't tell anyone how much she missed him. Missed their friendship, the way they were before the engagement. Once she changed, she walked into the gardens where her father said he would be.
He was sitting on one of the benches in front of the fountain. His hair was longer than she remembered, and he had circles under his eyes.
"Hello, Killian."
"Your highness," he said jumping to his feet when he saw her.
"It's been a while, how are you? You don't look well."
He hung his head. "I've not had a good night sleep since we last spoke in person. I was a complete ass the last time we were together. You did nothing to deserve my out lash, so I came in person to apologize, I also have a confession I need to make," he took a deep breath and stepped closer to her, "Emma… the reason that I spoke up as I did is because I don't think you should be marrying Graham."
She was stunned.
"You- wha- why not?" she asked him.
"Because, I don't think you feel this when you kiss him.." and with that, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into him. She'd forgotten what it felt like to have his lips against hers, they hadn't shared many kisses, but this one was the best. When their lips met, she inhaled sharply in surprise. She felt her eyes close and pressed herself harder into him. This time he showed no hesitation and before she knew it her fingers were tangling in his hair and she felt his fingers twist in hers. He gave a sharp pull to her hair to angle her head so he could get better access and it made her gasp, giving him accessibility to her open mouth which he took eagerly. His kiss made her head rush and she could hear the pounding in her ears. She moved her hands from his hair to cup his face, then moved her hands to his chest pulling against his collar while his other hand traveled down and cupped her face leaving one hand tangled in her hair. He went from her face, down her neck, caressed her shoulder and ran his fingers down her back pulling her whole body closer to him.
When they finally separated, she could still feel his kiss on her lips. She ran her finger over them to make sure she wasn't imagining things. When she looked back to him, she saw him going through the same reactions.
"Killian…. I" she stammered.
"That's why I don't think you should be marrying Graham. If you feel the same thing I do when I kiss you, there is no way you love him. I thought about you the entire time I was away. You have occupied my dreams since you saved my life, from the moment I first met you, you have been saving me every day, when I woke up that day, you were the first thing I saw and you were as beautiful to me then as you are now," he took her hand and started leading her towards the archway he'd made, "I made a wedding arch for you, but I don't want you to stand under this with him. It wasn't until I watched you get engaged to another man that I realized it…I love you Emma. I think I always have. And this goes against every code I've stood by my whole life. Good form is my only philosophy, but dammit Emma I won't stand back and watch you pretend to be happy with another man. I fight for what I want."
To say that she was stunned was an understatement. Her lips still feel the tingle from their kiss, the butterflies in her stomach still hadn't settled. The heat still ever present on her face and she still hadn't caught her breath. She'd never heard Killian confess things like this to her. She'd felt the same way all her life, but she'd never been sure if he'd felt the same way. To hear him confess such things now broke her heart.
"Killian, it's too late..." she said feeling her eyes fill up with tears.
"No... don't you say that Emma. It is never too late to decide what happens in your own life!"
"This is out of my hands Killian! I can't cancel this wedding no matter how I feel. What will that do to my parents, to Graham? I do care deeply for him, I don't want to hurt him."
"I know it's hard for you, but this is your life, and you're the only one who has to live it. You need to think about what makes you happy, not anyone else. If you live your life only for other people, can you truly ever be happy?"
He started backing away, "I know this is a lot, meet me tonight. Consider what I've told you, and if you want, meet me outside the shop."
"Who was that girl in the shop last time I was there?" she felt petty for asking but the thought just occurred to her.
"A failed distraction." He said sadly, "please, meet me tonight." He said cupping her face and kissing her once more, "if you don't, I'll stay quiet and watch you live your life with Graham, but if you do marry him. When you stand under the arch I want you to look right in the middle where all the beams come together."
With that he left, left her with a lot to think about and his parting kiss still buzzing on her lips. Curious, she stood where she was instructed and saw a message engraved in Killian's elegant handwriting
I LOVE YOU, EMMA
