"Dude, do you think you can get some free birth control from your other job?" asked Shawn as they drove to SBPD headquarters.
"What?" asked Gus.
"Yeah. I mean, if Susie's going to go out with Mr. Band Dude--"
"She said she didn't like him, Shawn." said Gus.
"You never know," said Shawn. "She could change her mind."
"I don't think so Shawn."
"Dude, you were able to convince her to let us get her Chinese food. Maybe you could convince her that people in bands are cool and stuff…"
"Shawn, I don't think I could change Susie's mind on something like that."
"Then maybe you could give her the birds and the bees speech…"
"I'm sure she must know about that stuff by now."
"You didn't, buddy. You learned everything from me."
"I did not."
"Gus, you asked me what the difference between a condom and a condo were in the 7th grade."
By this time, the two men had reached their destination. They got out of the little blue car and headed up the walk. Once inside the building, Shawn checked to make sure Skyler wasn't around.
"Hey Shawn!" Buzz said as he walked by.
Shawn looked up at his friend. "Buzz! My main man! What's up?"
"Nothing much here. We just had some scrawny little kid come in here, saying he was in a band and that the drummer was missing--"
"Is Skyler still here?"
"No, he left. Wait, how'd you know his name?"
Shawn looked at his friend. "I'm psychic, remember?"
Buzz smiled. "Oh, yeah!" he said, blushing slightly. "Right, I forgot."
"It's all good, man. See you later."
Shawn and Gus walked away from Buzz and towards Lassiter's desk. He had noticed the Chief standing over there while he was talking to Buzz. He was glad that she was still there. Shawn wanted her to see what he was about to do.
"Chief! So good to see you." he said, holding his hand out.
Chief Karen Vick shook his hand momentarily and turned back to Lassiter. "I want those houses covered soon."
"What houses?" asked Shawn. Then his hand started to shake. "No, wait… I'm getting something."
"Nauseating?" said Carlton Lassiter, who was not happy with the psychic. "Why, yes, you are."
Shawn's hand began to shake more violently. Suddenly, he was doing a very strange air guitar solo. "This is Spinal Tap!" he said, sticking his tongue out in a really bad KISS member imitation. "The hills are alive…. with the sound of……. music!"
"Spencer, what are you doing?" asked Lassie.
"Mr. Spencer, you never cease to amaze me." said the Chief. "We've got a missing drummer from a local band, Baby Fall Off the Stage."
"Excuse me?" said Shawn.
"Baby Fall Off the Stage is the band's name." said Juliet as she walked up, case files in her hand.
"Do you think you can help us, Mr. Spencer?" asked the Chief.
"You hear that, Gus? We're on a case involving a band."
Gus tried to smile, but it came off more as a grimace. "Yay?"
Jules handed a copy of the file to Shawn. "Thanks, Jules." Shawn said, smiling at the blonde detective. Then he and Gus made their leave.
"Wait, Spencer!" Lassiter called after them. They turned and saw Lassie following them.
"Yes, Lassie?" asked Shawn.
"How's the girl?"
"Which one? The one who came to visit me last night that I had send the bill to you, or the one I'm the guardian of?"
"Which one do you think?" the head detective growled.
"Both are fine, thanks for asking." Shawn said. "And now if you'll excuse us, Gus and I have a little drummer boy to find."
Shawn and Gus left Lassiter standing there, jaw clenched, glaring after them. They headed for their favorite take-out place.
"Hm," Shawn said, on the way back to the office. "Interesting."
"What?" asked Gus. "Something odd about the case?"
"No," Shawn said. "It appears that Suze is originally from Ohio."
Gus looked over at Shawn, who was balancing cartons of food on his lap and reading some papers in his hand. "Is that the survey you had Susie fill out?"
Shawn nodded. "She's got good taste."
"In what?"
"Movies, music, TV, everything. We've got a lot in common."
"I still can't believe you made a questionnaire for her to fill out. Why don't you just talk to her in person?"
"I will. This just gives me an idea on what to talk about with her."
Gus shook his head and pulled up in front of the office. the two men got out of the car and headed for the front door. Shawn was about to open the door when he heard a 'pst' noise. He looked around. He and Gus heard it again, a little louder this time. "Pst!"
"Who's there?" asked Gus.
"Up here!"
Shawn and Gus looked up. They found Susie sitting on the roof of the building.
"Susie! What are you doing?" asked Shawn.
"Skyler's back! He won't go away. I had to sneak out the back way."
"How' you get up there?" asked Gus.
"The ladder," Susie said, pointing to the side of the building, where there was indeed a ladder leaning up against the wall. "Tell Skyler to leave."
Shawn opened the door to the office. "Skyler!" he said. He saw the blonde head peek around the corner. "Skyler, why are you here?"
"How'd you know I was here?" asked Skyler.
"Dude, I'm a psychic. Why do I have to keep explaining that to people? Now get out. We'll call when we know something about Billie, or if we need to talk to you."
"Okay," Skyler said. He handed a slip of paper to Shawn. "When Susie gets back, tell her to call me."
Gus and Shawn watched as Skyler walked down to the beach. Once his little blonde head bobbed out of view, they went back outside. Susie was still on the roof.
"Suze, you can come down now," said Shawn. "Stalker, I mean Skyler's gone."
Susie looked down at Shawn and Gus. "Why don't you two come up?"
"Susie, are you crazy?" asked Gus.
"What?" she said. "It's nice up here."
Shawn headed over to the ladder. "Gus, come here and hold some of these cartons."
"No, Shawn. I'm not going up there."
"Whatever, dude. But I am. Now come here and hold some of this for me."
Gus sighed and went over to the base of the ladder. Shawn handed him some boxes and began to climb. Susie crawled over and took the other box from Shawn. He held his hand down to Gus, who handed him the other boxes. Once the last box was in Susie's hands, Shawn climbed the rest of the way up. Then he called down to Gus, "Come on, bud! It's nice!"
Gus looked up and shook his head. "No, Shawn. I'm not eating on the roof."
"Well, I hate to tell you, but I've got your food up here. And you can't catch worth crap."
"I can too, Shawn."
"Willing to bet your lunch on it?"
Grumbling and cursing Shawn under his breath, Gus climbed the ladder. Once he got to the roof, Shawn and Susie grabbed his arms and helped him sit on the blanket that Susie had brought up. Shawn handed a white box to Gus, who snatched it from Shawn's hands.
"Whoa," Shawn said. "Way to be grabby."
Gus glared at Shawn and opened his food.
Shawn looked to Susie. "Do you know how to use chopsticks?"
"Forget to put that question on your little survey?" asked Susie, opening the white box in her lap and grabbing some rice with the wooden sticks.
Shawn laughed. "Yeah, I guess I did. But give me some credit. Now you and I can know a little more about each other."
"When only I answered questions?"
"Touché," Shawn said. "What do you want to know?
Susie picked up the questionnaire from the case file and handed it to Shawn. "Let's start with these."
"You want me to answer all these?"
Susie glared at Shawn over the top of her glasses.
"Right," Shawn said. "Let's see. Question one- name. Shawn Spencer. Question two- age. Old enough to drink legally and go into the adult friendly section of video stores. Question three--"
"Okay, know what? Let's forget the questionnaire," Susie said, a slight laugh in her voice. "I can tell that it's going to get us nowhere."
"If you say so," said Shawn. He stabbed a piece of chicken with his chopstick. "So, why was Skyler here again?"
"I don't know. He just sort of appeared. I'm lucky to have gotten up here without him noticing and following me."
Shawn handed Susie the paper that Skyler had given him. "Well, he said that when you got back, he'd love a call from you."
Susie went a tad pale, took the paper, and stuffed it in her pocket.
"He's smitten with you, Suze! He wants you to be his little love kitten! He wants you to have his little rock-star babies."
Susie turned slightly red and shook her head. "Shawn…."
Shawn looked at Susie. "Okay, all joking aside, Suze. He really does like you, and…."
"Shawn, I already told you. I don't like him like that."
"Give him a chance. You never know. He could be the best guy you'll ever meet."
"If he's the best guy I'll ever meet, shoot me now." said Susie. "Besides…."
"What?" asked Gus.
Susie shook her head. "I… kind of already like someone else."
"Who?" asked Shawn. "Wait, is it Billie the kid from blondie's band? Os that why you won't look at or talk to Skyler?"
Susie stared at Shawn. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing," Susie said. "It's just that your stupidity amazes me sometimes."
"Then who is it?"
"Who is what?"
"The lucky guy you like."
"Whoever said it was a guy?"
Shawn and Gus stared at each other and then at Susie, who went calmly about eating her rice.
"Well," Shawn said, his voice cracking slightly. "That, uh…. Wow. I mean…."
Susie snorted. "Shawn, I was kidding. I'm as straight as you are." She looked at him. "Even though to some people that might be a tad questionable of how straight you are, I don't think you're gay." And with that, Susie stood up, cardboard box in her hand, and walked over to the edge of the roof.
"Where are you going?" asked Gus.
"To the beach. I told Monica I'd meet her around two."
Susie began her descent down the ladder.
"Susie!" Shawn called. She stopped and looked at him. "So, who do you like?"
Susie shook her head. "It's not important. He doesn't like me the way I like him. And besides," she said, sighing. "It wouldn't work out." And then Susie's head disappeared as she climbed down the ladder. Shawn looked out at the sea, which was visible through the palm tree leaves.
"Dude, why haven't we ever come up here?"
"Really, Shawn? Because we're… well, I'm sane." Gus paused. "Hey, where'd the ladder come from anyway?"
Shawn looked over to the ladder. "I don't know. Probably storage."
"You had a ladder in storage? For the office? Why?"
"Dude, how else are you going to get the little twinkle lights up for Christmas?"
