You bastards can't enough, can ya? Well, anyway, I should probably make it clear that this isn't a NaLu fic exclusively (I ship Natsu x Erza 20x harder than I do NaLu). This isn't full romance, either, as a large focus will be on Natsu's struggles with the beast known as depression and his friends' fight to understand it.
Something else before I forget, that I can't stress enough.
Be careful when reading this fic. There are seriously heavy themes here, ranging from suicidal thoughts to self-harm.
And on that rather sad note, welcome to the third chapter of A Falling Dragon.
An open field with a lone tree standing guard over its' nothingness. From the tree hung a simple rope, but as he watched, the rope twisted and writhed like a snake until it formed a noose, beckoning him with its' silent yet deafening voice. 'Come, Natsu. Only I will ever understand you.'
Footfalls as he obeyed, soft grass crunching under his toes. Wherever he stepped lay dead grass, and by the time he reached his new friend, his path was gone, to be forgotten forever.
Just like Natsu wanted to be.
Reaching up, the Dragon slayer slipped the warm embrace over his neck, using the chair that had appeared only for this one purpose. From his viewpoint, he wasn't surprised to see that all of Fairy Tail had showed up to watch, mocking him like always.
'Fucking do it. You're wasting everyone's time like always, you asshole.'
'He's too much of a pussy to do it.'
'Of course, making shit up for attention again.'
'Like he has the balls. No fuckin' way.'
Wouldn't they be surprised as he tipped the chair away and let the warm arms of death settle around his carotid artery, lulling him into a soft and comfortable eternal sleep.
With a start and held back scream, Natsu Dragneel woke from the twenty fourth occurrence of this nightmare, and he was sure to write it down alongside the others. This sucked immensely, but over the past two months, he'd come to accept that he'd be suffering with this until he died – whenever that was.
Morbid thoughts pushed aside, Natsu kicked off his basic covers – a thin sheet and fabric blanket. This had always been enough for the fire breathing wizard, with his internal flame always keeping him toasty even in the coldest nights. Even he knew, as he went into the kitchen for a late-night snack, that shaking hands couldn't mean anything good.
Attempting to ignore the instability of his hands only led to increased shaking, but he still tried to focus on his prize – a dinner burrito he'd brought home one night from a restaurant not too far from where he lived. The foreign cuisine always held the right amount of spice for Natsu – tonight was no different as he sat down to read and eat simultaneously.
One of his favorite books, which he never let collect dust, was simply entitled 'Dream,' by an unnamed author. It was a work of fiction, and it never failed to capture the young mans' imagination as his eyes scanned page after page of adventure. This book had been part of the reason Natsu had always been so adventurous and lively – he had wanted to be so much like the protagonist.
Smart, brave, and caring. All things he desperately strived to be, and yet, in the end, only hurting those close to him.
Regardless, Natsu read on, each page becoming more and more difficult to read as tears started to blur his vision, the droplets trickling off of his chin and to the paper below. The rate steadily increased until Natsu simply gave up and pushed the book aside, using the vacant space to rest his arms and head. He would stay like this until the sun peeked through the gap in his curtains, Happy yawning and stretching in his custom-made bet feet from Natsu's. The blue cat, once awake, eagerly flopped out of bed and took flight, hovering by Natsu's head by default.
If Natsu saw Happy, he made no indication otherwise, opting to stare blankly at the wall with eyes so empty Happy wondered if Natsu even existed anymore.
'Well that's a silly thought. Of course Natsu exists; he's right in front of me. Maybe he's just tired!'
Always optimistic, Happy started his day with a normal bright and chipper attitude. "Good morning sir! Sleep well, I take it?"
Natsu barely registered the words, but got the gist as he sat upright and stretched. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Slept great, Happy. Thanks."
There it was again. That fake smile anybody who knew Natsu could see through so easily. And yet nobody had said a thing on it, not even happy. That begged the question: why? Why had not a soul asked the always-happy, always-energetic Dragon slayer if everything was all right?
Maybe they assumed somebody else would ask. Or maybe they just didn't care enough? Who knew, because Happy certainly didn't.
Happy's thoughts were broken apart by the door suddenly opening, and he was surprised to see Natsu was leaving for the day, likely heading to the guild hall for another underpaying, underwhelming job.
"Have a good day, Sir! I'll be staying home to keep an eye on things like usual!" Happy waved cheerily, but as soon as the door closed, his face turned serious as he thought back to yesterday.
"Happy!" The cat jumped in mid-air, if that was possible. Turning, he found Erza a bit too close for comfort, and after backing up, found she was flanked by Gray and Lucy.
"Ye-yes ma'am?"
"Do you know what's going on with Natsu? He refuses to talk to anyone but Mira, actively ignores the rest of his team, and is choosing jobs that are obviously way below his skill level." Feeling interrogated, the magical blue cat managed to sigh and shake his head in defeat.
"No, I don't. Sir won't even talk to me anymore. When he does, it's only two or three words."
This revelation gave Erza pause as she placed a thumb to her chin, Gray and Lucy reflecting how Happy felt; confused and disappointed that their best friend couldn't confide in them. "Very well," Erza stated after a few more moments of silence. "Tomorrow, then, you will let us into Natsu's home after he leaves for the day. We will determine what job he has chosen by eight am, so be prepared at 9 am sharp. Understood?"
Somewhat scared but mostly confused, Happy nodded. "Yes sir!"
He was unsure what exactly it was they planned to do, but as planned, Happy heard the knock on the door, and after flipping the latch, in came Erza, Gray, and Lucy, all of them matching Happys' serious look.
After a moment or so in the doorway, Lucy spoke first. "Um…Erza? What exactly is it we're looking for?"
The scarlet haired sword wielder answered tersely. "Anything that could tell us what's going on with Natsu." After her command, she immediately set about the house, Gray and Lucy following suit.
Starting with the desk, Lucy noticed that there was a book still on it, its pages still open to the one he'd left last night. She couldn't tell why it looked like it was wet but dried, her fingers idly flipping through pages one by one.
Far as she could surmise, it was about a suave and charming adventurer, one who never paled in danger and always looked for a fight. It seemed that the nameless adventurer never had a bad day, either, even when things looks outright bleak for him. He always pulled through in the end, just like…Natsu.
Was this person the one he'd modeled his personality on? Always smiling, funny (at times), cared about everyone he came across. Yes, that was definitely Natsu. At least…it had been.
Giving up her skim reading of the book, she went to check on Gray's progress, whom, like her, had gotten distracted by something of Natsu's. It was a single blue bead looped on a simple leather lace, and Gray was holding it as though it might explode in his palms
Confused, Lucy tapped him on the shoulder. "Gray? What is that?"
He turned to the blonde, sitting cross legged on the floor. "I gave this to Natsu a few years after we met. It was the first time he beat me in a fight, so I gave him this as a trophy of sorts. All he did was throw it out, but I guess…I guess he went back for it after I left. Why did he keep it, is what I'm wondering."
She sat silently with him as he reminisced until Erza's commanding voice broke through the companionable silence. "You two need to come see this. Now." The sense of urgency in her voice, usually reserved for battle, is what made them move fast.
They turned the corner to find Erza standing in front of a drawer – the desk Lucy had investigated earlier. The drawer appeared to be overflowing with folded up pieces of paper, and Erza had one of these in her hands, fingers gripped tightly on the parchment.
Speaking up for both of them, Gray asked. "What is it, Erza? What does it say?"
Her response was to shake her head and point to the pile, grip still iron on the claimed paper.
Curious, Gray leaned in to choose one at random and open it up, and after a solid minute of silence, Lucy found one too.
She wished she hadn't.
The paper she picked, after opening it, was only a few words long, but she would probably never forget what the words were.
'Miserable, pathetic, excuse of a mage.'
Gray's was no better; 'waste of space.'
Erza's choice, however, was by far the worst of the three. 'Maybe I should just end it.'
It was this one she turned to show the others, her eyes, against their will, starting to water. He was thinking like this and yet confiding in no one? Even worse, her tears reflected disappointment in herself and her friends. They'd seen Natsu like this for so long and not once had they recognized the truth.
Lucy, on the other hand, refused to believe. "Th…there's no way that Natsu wrote these. I mean…look at him. He's the happiest guy in Fairy Tail." She forced a smile for the others who were present, but it was Gray who shot her down.
"Natsu wrote these, Lucy. This is his handwriting. I guess the only question is…why didn't we see it sooner?"
"Because you were never meant to." All four jumped as they heard his voice at the door nobody had heard open.
"Natsu! Why didn't you-!" Lucy started, but didn't get a chance to finish as the Fire Dragon slayer took off at top speed, leaving Erza to issue sudden commands. "Find him, and make sure he's safe," she ordered, already striding towards the door. "If you find him, be very, very careful. We don't know what he'll do right now! Go!"
In unison, Gray, Happy, and Lucy answered. "Yes ma'am!"
As they rushed off in the four cardinal directions, Erza's mind was buzzing the most.
'Please don't do anything stupid, Natsu…"
This is by far the fastest I've gotten the next chapter of any of my fics published. Guess you guys like this, eh?
Chapter four out by 7/22. See ya then, ya crazy bastards.
