A/N: Be prepared for the reason why this fic has an M rating. xoxo. ((aka there's smut in this chapter y'all.))
"What do you dream about?" She asked quietly once they sat next to each other on the ridiculously small bed. Rey's eyes were dark, but the soft light of the lantern they'd lit up was enough to make them sparkle lightly.
"I dream about a lot of things," Kylo had replied softly, dark eyes glancing down at his laced fingers. He pinched his lips for a moment before looking back at her. "You've had nightmares about me. You care about what happens to me." It wasn't a question, he realized. He knew she could probably feel it through their connection and didn't deny it.
"Belonging to the Dark side doesn't mean I'm heartless," he said slowly, pinching his lips once again.
"And yes, I did have dreams about you. They weren't always nightmares, though." He smirked lightly, eyes on her.
"What do you dream about?" Rey asked, tucking her legs underneath her body.
"A lot of things," he said slowly, straightening his back. "I dream of the night you left me in the snow. I dream of Snoke having you killed. I dream of you being mine." Kylo let out a sigh, shaking his head. "You're constantly on my mind and it's unbearable. You're supposed to be my enemy. I shouldn't be dreaming the things I am dreaming of. Or thinking about you as much as I do."
"But you were like me, once. We were on the same side."
"We we never the same, little thing. I was never really good to begin with."
"You could have been good."
Kylo looked at her for a long moment without speaking, simply watching her. They could be civil, he thought. They could probably spend a night in the same room without trying to murder one another. The male reached, his fingertips gently running along her jawline as he looked at her. "Do you believe that you could've saved me from Snoke?" He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as he pulled his hand away. "I let Darkness swallow me, Rey. I let it and I didn't even fight back. Even your Light, as bright as it is, won't be enough to save me."
It was hard to believe how truly human he looked as he spoke. The last time she'd seen him, she compared him to a monster. A monster in a mask. And now, he was as human as she was. Reaching, Rey put her hand on Kylo's, her eyes meeting with his.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, genuinely.
"You're not the one who has to apologize," Kylo Ren replied, shaking his head a little.
She was surprised that he didn't pull away, their proximity making their connection even stronger. She could feel him in the Force and noticed how the anger that usually emanated from him wasn't as strong, now. For a moment, they sat in comfortable silence and then, Kylo spoke again. "You've grown," he said as he looked back at her. "You're not that scavenger from Jakku, anymore."
"Funny what happens to people, when they leave Jakku," Rey replied, her lips almost stretching into a smile. She turned, raising her eyebrows at him. "You changed, too." Kylo's eyebrows furrowed and he looked away. "What about me?"
"I don't think you really are that monster people talk about."
"What makes you say that?"
"If you had been, I would be dead by now."
Kylo bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he could taste the iron of his own blood on his tongue. She was right- he'd changed. He didn't exactly knew how or why it had happened, but he did. He didn't want to kill her. Not when she was so close to him. Not when he could feel her breath over his skin when she leaned closer, her lips just inches from his face. When he turned and looked at her, his eyes found her lips. They were pink and smooth, stretched into a slight smirk. When his mind brushed against hers, her voice resonated in his head. Do it, she thought. You want to. And Gods, did he want it. He realized that on this planet, they weren't part of anything. Not the Resistance, nor the First Order. They didn't belong to the Light or the Dark side of the Force. On Kashyyyk, they were simply Rey and Kylo, and that realization was what pushed him to do what he never thought he would.
Kylo Ren's large hands were quick to cup her face and pulling her closer, his lips crashing against hers in a rough kiss. He didn't want to wait, his tongue sliding into her mouth. Rey had welcomed him, her fingers sliding into his black hair and grabbing handfuls of it. She tasted sweet, much like the fruit he could find in the forest surrounding the area where he lived. She moaned into the kiss and easily, he pulled her on top of him, one arm wrapping around her waist. With their mouths pressed against each other, their minds opened to one another and he could sense just how much she'd wanted this. There was nothing gentle about this kiss. It wasn't filled with love or tenderness, but with lust and frustration. When he pulled away, Kylo was breathless. Her lips were red, swollen and tender.
"You're so goddamn frustrating," he mumbled against her lips.
"Oh, you like it." Rey smirked, catching his bottom lip between her teeth and giving it a tug.
She was well aware that if Luke ever found out about what she'd done, he would give her the biggest scolding of her life. She didn't care. At least, not for now.
"I don't particularly enjoy how weak you make me feel, little thing." Kylo said, taking a deep breath.
She was so sure of herself and it was probably what frustrated him the most. He was so used to people being completely submitted to him, shaking in fear at the idea of getting him angry. Everyone around him was ready to obey to whatever he barked from underneath his mask. And there she was, the Jedi girl with no intention to listen to what he'd tell her. "But aren't you the slightest annoyed by how weak I make you?" Kylo questioned her, pressing his lips against her jaw, teeth grazing slowly against her skin. "Passion isn't something you're allowed to feel. Love is a weakness."
"Good thing I'll never love you."
"If you didn't love me in the slightest, you wouldn't have responded so well to the kiss I gave you."
"If you didn't love me in the slightest, you wouldn't have kissed me the way you did."
Although her outfit had always been loose, he had a good idea of what her body looked like underneath the layers of clothing; as he slid his hands along her body, he felt the curves of her hips and waist, thumbs brushing just underneath her breasts when he stopped.
"I wouldn't underestimate passion too much, if I were you," he said.
"I never said I was underestimating it," Rey replied, looking back at him.
"It's not necessarily love," he said, dark eyes watching her face for a moment. His thoughts were running through his mind; the need to feel her body pressed against his, to feel the warmth of her skin against his own. He wanted to know the sensation of her breasts pressed against his chest, wanted to know just how nice his name would sound when she moaned it. Then, he pushed the thoughts away, closing his mind to her when he felt her brushing against it. She pressed her lips against his once again, hard and rough, and Kylo groaned, the sound muffled by her mouth. Shifting slightly, he gasped when she rolled her hips down against him, pressing herself against his erection. "Rey," he said against her mouth, pulling away. "Rey, I won't." He shook his head slowly, dark eyes looking up at her. "I won't have you unless you truly want me to."
"Do you want me, Kylo?" She asked breathlessly, her hands moving from his hand and onto his shoulders.
Kylo breathed deeply but for a second, felt as if he was choking. As if being close to Rey was the only way he could breathe properly. How could a girl like her have such an effect on him, he thought. His mind opened to her simply because he couldn't bring himself to speak those words out loud, hurling his thoughts towards her. I do, he thought, never breaking eye-contact. I want you, Rey.
"Then take me."
It was so much easier to communicate with her when he allowed her into his mind, Kylo connection was incredibly strong, and when they opened themselves to one another, it became even more powerful. Gently, Kylo moved to lay her on her back, his fingers undoing her belt before stripping her from her clothes, tossing them in a corner of the makeshift bed. His lips found hers again and he kissed her, again and again, his mouth more gentle on her now. He felt her fingers hooking in the waistband of his pants, working them down his thighs and he only broke the kiss when he kicked his clothes off, chuckling lightly as they flew a few feet from where they were.
Do you feel it too? She thought, looking up at him. The fire?
"It burns softly," Kylo said, leaning closer to her, pressing his hardness against her lower stomach.
She slid her hands up from his toned stomach to his neck and pulled him closer against her, entire body engulfing in the flames of his touch. She'd never experienced anything like this; the fire wasn't painful, but it felt like a craving. He was larger on stature than her, and as she wrapped her ankles around his legs, she could tell how strong he was physically. And he looked better out of his dark tunic, she realized. He was beautiful, even with the scar that tore his face in half- it was almost a representation of the way she thought of him: a lost boy torn and tugged at both ends, and she wanted to be his escape from it all, the light and dark.
The fire, it's soothing, he thought.
It really was the most soothing sensation he'd ever felt, feeling her skin against his own, her breath against his neck. Out of her layers of clothing, she seemed so small- not vulnerable. Just small and delicate, even though he knew well that she was not to be underestimated. Kylo looked at her, large hands cupping her face as he pressed his lips against hers in a breathless kiss. For a moment, it seemed as if there was no good or bad side, nor Light or Darkness. There was just them, embracing, surrounded by the mute sound of pouring rain and growling thunderclap.
A/N²: The smut will continue in the next chapter so [Scar voice] be prepared.
